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In Progress Let's Play as 1200s Lithuania in Crusader Kings II: The Hitman Gods, the Teutons and the Mongols

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Cassidy, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. Stygian Lurker Scholar

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  3. Cassidy Arcane

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    [​IMG]

    Karijotas' Rising Empire: the march on Greater Potato

    [​IMG]

    Divide and conquer. This is good, very good. It will be a while before the true faith reaches Pommerania, and until then, let HERESY rip the Church of the false god apart!

    [​IMG]

    Karijotas was planning to deliver another blow against the arrogant Romanists, when some traitors, once again, rose in rebellion, roused by the usual Catholic snakes.

    [​IMG]

    A good husband was found for the brightest child of the Gediminaitis, willing to embrace the Baltic gods even.

    [​IMG]

    With the revolts crushed, the time has come to conclude the liberation of Pommerania.

    [​IMG]

    It was then, when unexpected numbers came in an attempt to break the sieges, that the cavalry of Lithuania proved its great valor, defeating a numerically superior force against all odds, with twice more heavy cavalry. It was a bloody and costly battle, but thanks to superior morale the Lithuanian retinue prevailed.

    [​IMG]

    Others came in to support Mecklenburg, but they stood no chance against the STRONG Lithuanian armies.

    [​IMG]

    It had its moments, but the result of this war was certain. Lithuania has grown mighty, and its march on the west carried on. The conquest of the entirety of Pommerania was a sign of things to come, for to the south, now there was only one more part of a dreamed Wendish Empire still ruled by a king bowing the the false god: Poland-Hungary. It would be a harder one, but there were ways to weaken it before the war starts.

    [​IMG]

    Mecklenburg was granted to the High Priesthood of Arkona, now made into an Arch-Priesthood, to spread the Romuva true faith westwards.

    [​IMG]

    The taint of the crucified loon remained difficult to wipe in Vilnius, but elsewhere progress was made. Slowly, very slowly, because the false religion had a way of enthralling its worshippers, a spell very difficult to break.

    [​IMG]

    Before the next step, the cunning and legendary skills of the Lithuanian Hitmen would be put into action again, for Poland-Hungary would be a truly worthy foe for mighty Lithuania.

    [​IMG]

    Tragedy happens to a father already used to seeing his children dying first as Svajone died during her first childbirth, and the baby didn't survive either. The only genius of the family now is gone, and the King must elect a new worthy successor.

    [​IMG]

    His eldest son, not as bright as Svajone, but showing potential in his talents, is thus chosen, and hopefully such incidents won't happen again.

    [​IMG]

    An unexpected and welcome event, one of the duchies of Lithuania ending without heirs, and naturally returning to the King's desmesne. An issue of de jure parts of Zemaitija belonging to Courland is immediately settled with the disputed lands returned to the Duke of Zemaitija, while Courland will stay under direct rule of the kingdom for now.

    [​IMG]

    And so, the fate of the reclusive and eccentric King Wladyslaw, known by the strange title of "The Awor", is set. A poetic death.

    [​IMG]

    It is said Wladyslaw "The Awor" last words were:

    EVERYTHING

    IS

    SHIT

    :yeah:

    [​IMG]

    Persian encroachment over the last Rus lands endangers the last holy site of the Romuva true faith. Perhaps it would be wise to conquer it first than the Tengri Persians that resettled Kiev and surrounding regions for a future where rage against tire textures will be written in Persian and a Persian will play KOTOR seven times.

    :M

    [​IMG]

    No kebab in our holy site!

    [​IMG]

    That disease was a close call, but Karijotas is a strong-willed king.

    [​IMG]

    The Russian culture will eventually disappear from Earth. A thousand dockings in Finland will happen to celebrate it.

    [​IMG]

    No Naveedid kebabs in Romuva holy sites!

    Now, while this war was happening there was hope having a four-year old queen would break Poland-Hungary apart, but unfortunately it didn't happen. Fortunately the lack of a proper ruler will make many vassals far less interested in giving as much of their levies as they can to the kingdom of Poland.

    [​IMG]

    The GREATTST POTATO WILL BE OURS!

    [​IMG]

    Novgorod, one of the greatest cities of the Rus, has finally embraced the old gods of the Baltic. Yet, there is much work to be done in this field, much, much work.

    [​IMG]

    Nowhere in the world the armies are better organized and trained than in Lithuania. Superior training, tactics and logistics have been decisive for all Lithuanian victories through the 13th Century, and they now have advanced ahead of their time in this so important field.

    [​IMG]

    The results of the superior military organization of the Kingdom of Lithuania are clear. Despite only slightly outnumbering their foes in a battle like this, Lithuania has delivered crushing, devastating losses, almost completely annihilating the Polish armies. Great Potato will be Lithuanian!

    [​IMG]

    Stupid guidos. Alas, much of Christendom has pledged to support Poland-Hungary, fearful of the "Great Heathen Horde" that advances westward. They will all wonder where is their god once they are sent to the realm of the Hitmen matron deity.

    [​IMG]

    :salute:

    However, Karijotas died of seemingly natural causes before witnessing the first step into the formation of an Empire to rule over all Potato. He died as the greatest ruler ever so far in the History of Lithuania, the restorer of the Romuva faith, the scourge of the gods, and left a legacy of conquest, glory and victory that would make justice to the reputation of his Altaic ancestors, and his twelve-year old son must now continue the war against Poland-Hungary. Long Live Liudas I ! Long Live the Lithuanian Hitmen! The Wendish Empire shall be born!

    TO BE CONTINUED
     
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  4. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

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  5. hostergaard Educated

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    :avatard: Liudas? A proper name for the king of all Lithuania and soon to be emperor of the wends me thinks. Liudas of Lithuania. Rolls well of the tongue.
     
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  6. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

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  7. Nicebrain Educated Patron

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  11. Thor Kaufman Arcane Zionist Agent

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  12. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

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    another pump
     
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  14. Kattze Andhaira

    Andhaira
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    cass plox
     
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  15. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    [​IMG]

    One step short of an Empire

    [​IMG]

    Liudas chooses a risky bethrotal to a very intelligent future bride. Because he isn't a pedophile goatfucker Muslim, he cannot marry her immediately, of course.

    [​IMG]

    Poland refuses to give in Greater Poland, but their doom is inevitable, with yet another crushing victory for Lithuania. Soon this will be over.

    [​IMG]

    Russia is dead. Its remnants will never stand any chance. Such threat is promptly ignored.

    [​IMG]

    The gods have granted Lithuania victory in this war, it is only a matter of time now!

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    As a clear display that the crucified false god is false, finally the Romuva true faith has been returned to Vilnius, a very important achievement, because now the Romanists lost all their relevance in the core Lithuanian territories.

    [​IMG]

    With Vilnius again returning to the gods, it is time to slowly correct those who refuse to recognize the authority of the Romuva church, sticking to outdated and contradictory ways of worshipping the Baltic gods.

    [​IMG]

    And naturally, Greater Potato is ours!

    :outrage:

    [​IMG]

    Liudas, raised in an environment where honor was held as the most important virtue, even if jaded, edgy and cynical about it, has now decided that it would be wise for him to be remembered for his virtue in defending and promoting the Baltic honor.

    [​IMG]

    However, the conquest of Greater Poland was not enough for the dream of an Empire. More Polish territories must be conquered first. For now, however, they must wait the truce and recover from the losses of this long and bloody war.

    [​IMG]

    There were however... other problems. Serious problems. TRAITOROUS SCUM!

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately Poland had even bigger problems, the Arpad dynasty seizing their last chance of retaking Hungary from the Piast.

    [​IMG]

    News of the world: The Shahdom of Khiva has virtually conquered all of Ruthenia, ensuring a Persian will be playing KOTOR seven times and bitching about tire textures in a distant future.

    :M

    Meanwhile, much has changed over Anatolia.

    [​IMG]

    After inheriting Armenia, the Byzantine Empire might manage to rise from the blink of extinction, as they plan to, step by step, retake their rightful territories from the Slavicized Mongols, Frogs and treacherous Guidos. Pankratios I is truly a legend in all aspects, specially for the fact he is still alive with 81 years of age, with a prestigious legacy of having started the reconstruction of a fallen empire from its cinders, a Methuselah for this era.

    [​IMG]

    The reason for a most dangerous faction of inside traitors must be dealt with. The super capable Berber woman who claims to be guided by the Djinn, serving as the hitman and spymaster of Lithuania, is sent there to help with the odds. If that ambitious scum suffers an "accident", a civil war could be avoided. Once again, the Lithuanian Hitmen will play a decisive role for the future of their country.

    [​IMG]

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

    The faction supporting this bastard's pretentions to the throne dissolves instantly, but better to keep an eye on them. It was hoped an elective monarchy would keep such kind of crap at bay, but not can please the treacherous nobles and relatives.

    [​IMG]

    Check your privilege, whore.

    [​IMG]

    Inbreeding... great.

    Is this a sign of the beginning of the decline and moral decadence amidst the ruling dynasty of Lithuania?

    :hmmm:

    [​IMG]

    Nice, this will keep Poland busy.

    [​IMG]

    The University of Kaunas will be expanded, now that peace reigns. To secure the future of Lithuania, such investments will pay off.

    [​IMG]

    Retinues are the only safeguard against bastards plotting with their factions. They are also useful for raiding.

    [​IMG]

    When traitors don't force them to fight the same instead.

    [​IMG]

    From the highest nobility to the lowest shithole, Lithuania is rife with scum that must be kept in their place. Scheming, plotting, revolting, betraying...

    [​IMG]

    Liudas remembers how merciful Karijotas usually was with prisoners, but this was over the fucking limit!

    ROT IN CHAINS WHORE!

    This plotter didn't get away with it, and now will die in the dungeon,or if she bitches too much about it, in the Oubliette!

    Yet, for all peasant revolts and treacherous nobles within, nothing could have been worse than what awaited...

    [​IMG]

    Another crusade thus began, and Poland may consider joining it soon, to make things worse. No matter how large Lithuania has grown, it won't be simple to defeat the krauts.

    TO BE CONTINUED

    PS: Bonus image

    [​IMG]

    The solution to all problems in Syria

    [​IMG]

    :M
     
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  16. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

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  17. The Brazilian Slaughter Arcane

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    BUMP FOR GILTINE!!!
     
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  18. LusciousPear Savant

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    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong
    Bump for xian slaughter.
     
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  19. Kattze Andhaira

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    Cassidy, what mod are you using? TPATT?
     
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  21. Cassidy Arcane

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    Last update in this page...

    ===========================

    [​IMG]

    Suffer not the Traitor, the Heretic and the Crusader

    [​IMG]

    Rather than wait for the Unholy German Empire to march against Pommerania, Lithuania has brought the war to their lands, striking deep against their isolated forces to make them pay for their arrogance and hypocrisy.

    [​IMG]

    After the initial and successful battle, the Lithuanian expedition made a stand against a somewhat numerically superior German Army that was forced to cross the Rhine.

    [​IMG]

    They thought numbers

    would grant them victory, not the

    END OF RHINE

    :yeah:

    [​IMG]

    However, they attacked the victorious Lithuanian army with larger forces. Fortunately, Lithuania had almost ready reinforcements ready to disembark when the battle began, turning the tide of the battle as the outnumbered Lithuanian forces held their ground long enough for their arrival. As they suffered massive losses, massive reinforcements arrived, numbering the total of German forces involved in this battle, casualties aside, to over fifty thousand, but too late. Lithuania was ready.

    [​IMG]

    They paid a high price, and soon it would be over.

    [​IMG]

    Indeed, for the Unholy German Army, the battle of Breda was, like the region itself:

    END OF RHINE ______________________ RHINE ENDS HERE

    :hero:

    [​IMG]

    The Battle of Breda was the greatest military victory ever in the entire History of Lithuania. As a battle in defense of the True Romuva Faith, it shook the enemies of the Baltic gods to the core, and proved that the gods are on Liudas' side. For orchestrating this victory, Liudas became a PARAGON of Virtue, his piety and prestige reaching the skies for such triumphant crushing of the kraut like a head of cabbage.

    However, unfortunately the Germans were not the greatest, most pervasive and unyielding enemies of the Kingdom of Lithuania.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    SMITE THE HERETICS WITH THE HAMMER OF PERKUNAS!

    PURGE THE UNCLEAN!

    [​IMG]

    The German levies were practically completely wiped out. Triumphant, but aware of the legions of HERETICS and TRAITORS at home in multiple simultaneous peasant and heretical revolts, the armies of Lithuania embark to return, while the arrogant Unholy "Roman" Empire refuses to give up yet.

    [​IMG]

    Meanwhile, the Mongol Empire has been in a steep decline, and is currently facing hard times.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    No matter how many are crushed, more traitors and heretics continue on the rise as long as HERESY! survives, and worse, the Germans gathered another army while the Lithuanian forces were busy crushing traitors and heretics.

    [​IMG]

    SERIOUSLY? Liudas started to become seriously pissed off with these constant acts of treason and HERESY, but first they had to crush the German forces besieging Mecklenburg.

    [​IMG]

    They conquered some regions, but that would not save them. This army was a fraction of the once massive crusader force that was crushed in the End of Rhine at Breda.

    [​IMG]

    And the current Kaiserin of their false Roman Empire was forced to give up. Unfortunately Liudas could only dream of capturing her and making her into his bitch concubine.

    [​IMG]

    In celebration to yet another crusader against mighty Lithuania crushed like a skull of pig, the temple of Vilnius will be expanded into a much more glorious and inspiring form, thanking the gods for the triumph of the Romuva faithful.

    [​IMG]

    Yet, the war against HERESY and treason was far, far from over, and it was delaying the plans for further conquest to forge a new empire, delaying it seriously. This will not stand!

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately, even as treason ran rampant, the true faith was making progress, if slowly.

    [​IMG]

    :x

    Will those assholes ever end?

    [​IMG]

    :rage:

    [​IMG]

    On better news, the genius Liudas bethroted survived through childhood and was ready for marriage. Hopefully both would ensure the birth of a genius that would survive and become the next King, although the current elected heir would definitively end pissed off once and if that happens..

    [​IMG]

    :killit:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Liudas sense of mercy died after all of this happened. This was really, really, really pissing him off.

    [​IMG]

    Just because HERESY! is rampant it does not mean Lithuania will stand idle now that Poland is stable again, specially now that such great opportunity for some perfectly silent assassinations showed up.

    [​IMG]

    Even more because the only heir to the current King of Poland is a woman married regularly to a guido. An Italian ruler will certainly ensure chaos over Poland. Time for the followers of Giltine to continue making justice to their hundred years old reputation.

    [​IMG]

    After a failed first attempt, there it goes!

    [​IMG]

    If the Queen dies, Poland in end in the hands of an inept Italian girl that is no longer part of the Piast. Sounds like a great plan, but the master of hitmen will have to relocate to build a spy and Lithuanian Hitman network where the queen is, rather than where the former king was.

    [​IMG]

    Then finally, after countless cases of treason and HERESY! peace again reigns over Lithuania. In the past, traitors because of HERESY or worshipping false gods were given mercy if they agreed to convert to the Romuva True Faith, but these displays have shown mercy is a bad idea when dealing with traitors. It is time to make an example of all these rabble rousers, to purge their HERESY!

    PURGE THE UNCLEAN!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately purging all of them would rile the nobles who would consider it "unjust". Fortunately only a few had to be exiled rather than purged.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    And now, with these matters settled as they should, Lithuania was ready to proceed with their plans for the creation of a Wendish Empire, another damn explosion of treason and HERESY! notwithstanding.

    TO BE CONTINUED
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2013
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  22. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

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  23. Kashmir Slippers Augur

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    All those heretics and no Emperor in whose name to slaughter them all...
     
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  24. Thor Kaufman Arcane Zionist Agent

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  25. Nicebrain Educated Patron

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    New page it was
     
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