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In Progress Let's Play as 1200s Lithuania in Crusader Kings II: The Hitman Gods, the Teutons and the Mongols

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Cassidy, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
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    Grab the Codex by the pussy
    bunp
     
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  2. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    [​IMG]

    A Baltic Empire

    [​IMG]

    Liudas is perhaps too self-confident and proud, however, he has reasons for that.

    [​IMG]

    Damn heretics. They won't interrupt the great plans of Lithuania

    [​IMG]

    Yet, more Lithuanian Hitmen may be required to truly secede Hungary from Poland for once and all. Time will tell.

    [​IMG]

    While Poland was not yet broken apart by all the recent silent assassinations...

    IT IS FAT SHAMING TIME!

    [​IMG]

    A good man who died because of the HERESY! he tried to defeat. While some unfinished businesses in Russia were going, there were dark tidings from the east.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    A new, perhaps even more fearsome Horde than the Mongol Empire, after having conquered much of India, and led by Tamerlane, advanced against the Tengri "infidels" of the Mongol Empire and Persia with the blessings of the Prophet(PBUH), almost like a Djinn out of the bottle to show that Islam was far from dead. Islam has divided the Yurt Dwellers, and now they fought each other for dominance. Hopefully this would not spell yet another future enemy for Lithuania.

    [​IMG]

    Liudas had his first son.

    [​IMG]

    Novgorod gained new lands, while the Timurid hordes wiped the small Shahdom of Khiva, forcing them to seek refuge in their other Shahdom, Ruthenia. Kiev already became a Persian City, and sooner or later the original lands of the Rus would become something else. The Russians were fated to oblivion.

    [​IMG]

    The past deeds of Lithuanian hitmen against Poland were not enough, but now there was a too good opportunity right ahead: the heir of the Queen is in a dungeon, while the Hungarians are growing restless. It is time to finish the job, and finish it well.

    It is time for the finest of Giltine to show their talent again, for Lithuania is one short step from becoming formally an Empire, and once again, the Lithuanian Hitmen will play a decisive role in such conquest.

    [​IMG]

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

    [​IMG]

    Now that Hungary became independent and ruled by the Arpad dynasty again, it is time to go in for the final blow to seal the fate of the apostates of the true potato gods.

    [​IMG]

    The strength of the Romuva true faith grows. From an isolated, dying religion, it has become something as great as Lithuania.

    [​IMG]

    Meanwhile, in the land of the kebab.

    [​IMG]

    Treacherous relatives. The King of Lithuania always has to pressure them into giving up such constant plotting after uncovering it.

    [​IMG]

    And now, everything is ready for the closing act that will shape many things to come. Poland may be weakened, but all Catholic countries may support them as Lithuania's next step of westward expansion is about to be taken. It won't be an easy war.

    [​IMG]

    The Timurids gaze upon Persia, against which a Jihad is declared. Now there is little hope for the Persians, who have previously freed themselves from the Mongol Empire only to end in this situation all over again, as the Timurids, from the Steppes of Andhairastan to the Caspian Sea, ride forward with the message of the Prophet(PBUH).

    [​IMG]

    Poland still had massive armies, and the battles that were waged for Silesia were deadly. Liudas was wounded in the fight, and could even die, for in this age, any cut could be deadly.

    [​IMG]

    More good news for the true faith.

    [​IMG]

    The Kingdom of Poland was determined to fight to the end, misguided in their ways of the false god. All battles were hardly fought, and many thousands of brave Lithuanians would die for the rising empire.

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately, Liudas made through the wounds he suffered in battle.

    [​IMG]

    Then, when the Polish Army was but crushed, they came in support.

    Damn Frogs...

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately reinforcements were readily shipped to handle the massive French army.

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    An asshole Duke demanded part of the rightful core territory of the Duchy of Lithuania, which is logically a belonging of the Kingdom, for himself. He was given the answer he deserved.

    [​IMG]

    The Frenchies were sent running away with white flags.

    [​IMG]

    How many defenders of the Western Xian Civilization will have to be crushed before Poland realizes they are fighting for the lost cause of a dead god?

    [​IMG]

    Liudas have found his courage in the battles for Silesia.

    [​IMG]

    Eventually there was nothing left to do but to continue with the sieges.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]



    [​IMG]

    Silesia is too large to be directly ruled by the Kingdom, and thus, because there is no competent adult member of the Gediminaitis without a title to be handled with Silesia, instead, the King has chosen to award it to someone purely by merit of being the best, most capable to rule over the newly conquered lands. The humble mayor of a town is thus raised to the status of the Duke of Silesia.

    [​IMG]

    There were other formalities to be concluded before wearing the crown of the first Pagan Emperor in Europe since the times of Julian the "Apostate", while the true faith likewise expanded.

    [​IMG]

    First, another elected heir died, and a new one had to be picked.

    [​IMG]

    Meanwhile, the Kingdom of Finland has chosen to abandon the old gods. PERKELE PERKELE PERKELE!

    [​IMG]

    And more traitors... for a change.

    After internal stability was achieved, now it was finally the time. But first, it would be necessary to create Pommerania formally as a separate Kingdom.

    [​IMG]

    Done... and now, a moment that would be forever remembered in History...

    [​IMG]

    For over a thousand years, no pagan across Europe has ever been recognized as worthy of being called an Emperor. Now, this will change.

    [​IMG]

    LONG LIVE THE WENDISH EMPIRE AND THE TRUE POTATO GODS!!! LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR OF POTATO!!!

    :outrage:

    TO BE CONTINUED
     
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  3. Kattze Andhaira

    Andhaira
    Andhaira
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    Will you be doing a proper melonhead playthrough once the newest dlc is released?
     
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  4. hostergaard Educated

    hostergaard
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    :hero: For the great Potato in the sky and its Potato empire on earth! All will bow to its starchy glory!
     
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  5. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
    Sure does look glorious. :salute:
     
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  6. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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    That Muslim enclave in Ruthenia is a blight upon the world.
     
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  7. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    They aren't Muslims, they have converted to Tengriism ever since the Mongol Empire reformed Tengri.
     
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  8. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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    Ahem.

    That Tengri enclave in Ruthenia is a blight upon the world.
     
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  9. The Brazilian Slaughter Arcane

    The Brazilian Slaughter
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    The Wendish Empire rises!
    Next step: Poland, and then... Rome burns?

    NO way, Tengrii persians who took Skywayland, that's cool!

    I hope the Mongol Empire beats those timurid muslim upstarts.

    Cassidy, why you don't ally with the Mongol Empire?
     
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  10. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
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    Next step? You'll see in this larger than usual update. And the last one in this page because of its length.

    ======================

    [​IMG]

    The Penultimate War

    [​IMG]

    Proper successors were elected, lands were redistributed, and the Kingdom of Pommerania was given to the most capable of the Gediminaitis ruling over there.

    [​IMG]

    It would be tragic for the first Emperor's rule to be short lived because of illness.

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately Liudas was strong, while Marienburg, once the core of the Teutonic Order, has finally embraced the old gods. Over the core Baltic lands, the true faith has risen from the ashes, specially over the one and true Prussia.

    [​IMG]

    BEHEAD THOSE WHO BETRAY THE WENDISH EMPIRE!

    [​IMG]

    Theme

    Then, before the truce with Poland was over, an unexpected call for arms was given. A daunting task the gods have challenged the Empire with: to crush the False Roman Empire like a skull of pig! To finally advance onto the Road to Rome, crushing all that stand in their way, in a rod paved in the blood of one of the greatest wars in all of mankind's History. The long awaited move to annihilate Christendom, or die trying.

    The time of Revenge against the Teutonic terror, mass slaughters, forced conversions and persecutions has come, crosses and churches will burn while the metal shall shed the blood of the fanatics until there is nothing left, no matter the time, no matter the cost:

    DEATH TO THE FALSE GOD!

    DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!

    [​IMG]

    Near all of Christendom has answered the call for aid of the "Holy Roman" Empire, and despite mighty, the Wendish Empire is far outnumbered by their combined might. Fortunately the mighty Baltic navy shall rule over the seas, allowing the legions of the gods to, like the Vikings of old, but in a much larger scale, descend upon their foes where they are the least prepared to face them. Thus a first crushing victory is achieved, but this greatest of all holy wars will carry on for perhaps not only years, but decades, if not centuries. It won't be easy, and it will cost much in blood.

    [​IMG]

    The Danes are given a lesson first, as they are the closest of the many foes who have embraced the shadow of the cross, their legions spanning all that lies to the West of Lithuania, and nearly all of them are supporting the Holy Roman Empire in this war that will decide the future of the entire continent.

    [​IMG]

    Arrogantly, they expect to be able to walk in the sacred Baltic soil, thinking their twenty thousand are enough. Lithuania has the best logistics and military organization of their era, and through it they shall achieve victory against overally superior numbers, as long as they can sustain the inevitable casualties of each and every battle. However, even as this decisive conflict rages on, traitors rise against the Empire once more, almost as if they secretly want to become race traitors and convert to the New Jewish religion.

    [​IMG]

    To crush Denmark armies first, and then go ahead against the others, was part of the strategy. Hopefully the crushing of their armies would trigger the collapse of their kingdom to inside traitors.

    [​IMG]

    Liudas became more and more capable as a commander, for he was a brave first Emperor, leading his men from the front lines.

    [​IMG]

    A new shining star is born amidst the Gediminaitis dynasty. However, only dukes can be elected as inheritors to the empire, and only men can be appointed as Dukes. What a shame. Of course, the other extreme of SJW, newspeak and privilege checking would be equally shameful.

    :M

    [​IMG]

    England also has joined this that has clearly become a total war against Catholicism. They also were slaughtered, but how long could Lithuania keep fighting this unending waves of crusaders defending their false faith?

    [​IMG]

    SUFFER NOT THE HERETIC!

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    The Duke of Silesia launches an ambitious attempt to conquer Poland on his own. This could end badly for him. For this is a distraction that is not a good idea while the Empire is at war with nearly all of Christendom.

    [​IMG]

    Through further victories, Emperor Liudas the Holy becomes even more capable, and even more determined to conquer Krautland no matter what. This is the revenge for everything the Teutonic and Livonian Orders have done, and it shall be concluded.

    [​IMG]

    No matter how many traitors rise with crosses in their left hands and pitchforks in their right hands, no matter how many hundreds of thousands of crusaders advance to defend Krautland, the True Empire will Prevail!

    [​IMG]

    The master of spies and hitman brought worrissome news: a gigantic legion, that vastly outnumbered the Lithuanian Army, was gathered in Holland, most likely in preparation for a grand assault. Fools! They were killing their own soldiers with starvation and attrition! Now matter how many, the gods will grant victory to Lithuania!

    [​IMG]

    But while that legion is doing nothing but dying because of attrition, there were other scum to be dealt with. While fighting such scum, Liudas' bravery once again became an example to all.

    [​IMG]

    Oh shit...

    [​IMG]

    PURGE THE UNCLEAN!

    [​IMG]

    And now an asshole plots to take back "Russia".

    Guess what happens now?

    [​IMG]

    Thanks the gods for the Lithuanian Hitmen.

    Meanwhile, a false siege was staged in an attempt to split the massive legions in Holland.

    [​IMG]

    It worked, the superior mobility Lithuania had due to their Navy once again making an enormous difference against a numerically superior army. Hopefully the rest of their armies would not arrive soon enough to reinforce the crusaders before they were completely slaughtered.

    [​IMG]

    Some frenchies were coming, but at this point they were at disadvantage, and it was too late for them to fall back. POTATO FOR THE POTATO GOD!

    [​IMG]

    Another equally important victory, finally near the entirety of Prussia has returned to the true and old ways, the legacy of the Teutonic Order almost erased from these lands now.

    [​IMG]

    Another Crusader legion crushed, however, with every victory the Lithuanian Army diminished in size, while their foes almost appeared to have endless reserves of men to sacrifice in the name of their false god, and if no German castle was conquered soon, no matter how many military victories they achieve, failure to effectively conquer lands because of ridiculous numbers of enemy forces defending them would still spell the failure of this Great Holy War. Yet, they would sooner or later fold and collapse. They already losted over a hundred thousand men. How many more could they send to the slaughter?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Here unquestionable proof the Christmen were the original agents of decline, diversity enrichment and MULTIKULT. And of course, married to a white wymmin. An ugly one, but no white woman is too ugly for

    :kfc:

    PS: Disregard the fact the Emperor of the Wendish Empire is as Mongol as it gets.

    :M

    [​IMG]

    It was a bloody battle, but once again the gods have granted them victory!

    Meanwhile another "totally white North Italian" was captured.

    [​IMG]

    However, a massive Teutonic legion came shortly after the guidos were defeated, and the Wend Armies were disorganized and weakened after the previous battle. There was little hope of victory. They were clearly determined to win through attrition, no matter how many losses they suffer.

    [​IMG]

    The fleet was hurrying to evacuate the defeated Lithuanian Army before it could be annihilated, and with the remaining armies, the Emperor was facing a difficult situation. Facing all of Christendom at once has brought its toll upon the Wendish Empire, and traitors were on the rise to make things worse.

    [​IMG]

    The Emperor is not pleased with such treacherous behavior only fit for the lowliest of the low.

    [​IMG]

    However, at least finally the HERESY is over. More and more the Reformed Romuva faith grows in strength, encompassing much of former Rus as well.

    [​IMG]

    The structures that bind the Empire together became more refined and cohese, the administration allowing for the Emperor to eventually hold a much larger desmesne than his current one.

    [​IMG]

    When it is not the endless crusaders, the endless traitors, like a Fifth Column of the romanists, continue to force the Empire to divert their attention from the Great Holy War. They will all be executed without mercy!

    [​IMG]

    This great conflict has taught many lessons, and now the Empire has evolved into the most better organized army of the entire world, an advantage that may allow them to finally break the endless stalemate the unending numbers of their foes have ensued for all these years in addition to the traitorous scum revolting once a month.

    [​IMG]

    SUFFER NOT THE TRAITOR TO LIVE

    [​IMG]

    Tragically, his first wife died giving birth to a stillborn child, and thus the Emperor married with another one.

    [​IMG]

    This is really frustrating.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Look at how big the victim of their Jihad was. They probably were too busy goatfucking to do this right.

    [​IMG]

    After some reinforcements, a Lithuanian army sails through the Baltic and Northern Atlantic for more surprises, with the needed reinforcement of Rus mercenaries because of how much diminished their army has been by this war that has been going on for too long.

    [​IMG]

    The ongoing battle became truly dramatic as the Germans sent reinforcements that combined outnumbered the Lithuanian army. However, they were demoralized to see the chaos of retreating flanks, and failed to reform. Thus even with superior numbers they were slaughtered.

    [​IMG]

    One of the greatest military victories in the History of all Lithuania was thus achieved, and those were the last of an once much greater legion, if Lithuania could push forward a little more, victory could yet happen in this neverending holy war.

    [​IMG]

    The Mercenaries were taxing the treasury, and thus some prisoners were ransomed to keep Lithuania able to pay their wages.

    [​IMG]

    Then, while the German armies were hunted down, the Emperor fought valiantly and was wounded.

    [​IMG]

    WHERE IS SOME IMPALEMENT TO MAKE THESE IMBECILES TOO AFRAID TO DARE DOING THIS WHEN YOU NEED IT?

    [​IMG]

    Liudas, a strong man, has naturally recovered from the wounds suffered in battle, and did not stop fighting the good fight because of them. Separatists also began to challenge the False Emperor as their armies were annihilated, opening their false empire to the agendas of countless factions. Lithuania just had to push a little longer, and perhaps Germany would be theirs, and then, the road to Rome.

    [​IMG]

    SERIOUSLY? MORE?

    Note: You have no idea how fun this is.

    [​IMG]

    Kaiserin is in trouble for refusing to accept that their armies were crushed like a skull of pig again and again. Yet, unless the Empire begins conquering territory, all will be for nothing.

    [​IMG]

    Because of how diminished the Lithuanian levies have been by over four years of total war and brutal battles, the Emperor has chosen to wait a little longer before starting an invasion of German territories, and to instead crush the traitors rising again and again, hoping they won't rise another time like SOUNDS POPAMOLE OLOLOL

    [​IMG]

    :rage:


    [​IMG]

    Then, tragedy! It was one of such countless scumbag traitors that by pure luck struck a mortal blow against the first Emperor Liudas, one of the greatest rulers Lithuania has ever known, putting a too soon end to his life marked by glory and greatness without equal. There will be no mercy for those responsible, who endangered Lithuania with their petty rebellions in the middle of the greatest war. What shall happen to them shall make them beg for death!

    Nevertheless, the legacy Liudas the Holy left won't be forgotten or lost. Bukantas I however had a major dilemma. With Liudas dead, the participation of the Empire in the Great Holy War for Germany was temporarily over, and the price has been very high for this conflict against all of Christendom that seemed to never end. Should Bukantas continue with fighting the good fight Liudas did to conquer Germany and carve a path into Rome, or should he forgive and forget?

    1) DEATH TO THE FALSE GOD, TO THE FALSE CHURCH AND TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!

    2) Revenge is a mistake when it comes at such high cost. This war will bring an entire lost generation if it continues. It was futile all along. Better to reign in peace.

     
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  11. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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  12. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Forgive and forget? Hah! There can be no progress without conflict.

    1
     
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  13. Stygian Lurker Scholar

    Stygian Lurker
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    How is this considered a choice? DEATH TO THE FALSE GOD, TO THE FALSE CHURCH AND TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!
     
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  14. hostergaard Educated

    hostergaard
    Joined:
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    :kwanzania:The the kaiser is dead long live the kaiser! :kwanzania:

    Whats the dudes stats? Personally I would go with 1, with some consideration for the limits on our strategic resources. That is, you should consider recovering a little before launching the next attack. Or maybe its wiser to attack at once if the enemy is like to recover faster.

    But a little consideration for our emperors stats. If he is a craven cynic with mediocre marital score and a penance for gardening he is probably more like to go with option 2.


    Also; glory to the late Liudas the Holy, his name will be remembered as the greatest of potatoes, nay, the starchy essence of potatoness! Father of the Wendish empire, scourge of the crucified god, slaughterer of thousand of popamole fanatics!:outrage:
     
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  15. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
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    Grab the Codex by the pussy
  16. Thor Kaufman Arcane Zionist Agent

    Thor Kaufman
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    Regain strength, then crush your enemies
     
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  17. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
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    Grab the Codex by the pussy
  18. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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  19. Kattze Andhaira

    Andhaira
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    Temporary 2, then 1 on a more opportune time.
     
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  20. Thor Kaufman Arcane Zionist Agent

    Thor Kaufman
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    bamp
     
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  21. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
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  22. The Brazilian Slaughter Arcane

    The Brazilian Slaughter
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    2

    Time to get a breather and THEN Rome will burn
     
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  23. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
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    Grab the Codex by the pussy
    Bumpyity pump
     
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  24. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
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    Grab the Codex by the pussy

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