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Completed Let's Play Cataclysm: Dark Days of ITZ 0.4

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Cassidy, Apr 20, 2013.

?

Decide on the most important detail in character creation, the gender:

  1. Cisgendered privileged white male

    6 vote(s)
    60.0%
  2. XY female oppressed by the patriarchy

    1 vote(s)
    10.0%
  3. Wyrmlord A.I. (kingcomrade)

    3 vote(s)
    30.0%
  1. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    [​IMG]

    STARRING BENNY, THE WORLD'S UGLIEST MEXICAN GANGSTER AND L.A. RIOTS VETERAN

    INDEX


    1. Día 1: Yo Soy La Leyenda
    2. Suffer not the Beaner

    ===========

    A survival horror roguelike where zombies are not the most dangerous threat, only the most numberful. And being open-source, with my limited programming and script languages knowledge, I added some extras including, but not limited to machete-wielding zombies and being able to cook babymeat in long underwear with enough cooking skills and the right ingredients. Currently the PC can be assumed to be the last man alive in the game world because there are no NPCs in this version of the game.


    And here goes character creation choices for you to vote at other than the one in the poll.


    DIFFICULTY

    Standard character creation points are 6 and more can be gained by picking disadvantages or shitty professions. Considering dynamic spawn was scratched and zombies in this roguelike no longer show up anywhere enough noise is made and thus it is much more possible to totally avoid combat than beffore, that is as far as I'm willing to. Anything more would make this too easy.

    Apocalyptic LARP - 6 points

    Pack your rice - 4 points

    Rearmageddon - 2 points

    ULTIMATE DOOM EXPANSION SET FOR KWANZANIA - 0 points

    Why bother living?

    Essentially a style for playing, what to seek and how to survive. Note that Road Warrior is only hard at the beginning and gets progressively easier the bigger of a vehicle the character has.

    Road Warrior - Survive always on the move, and travelling The Road. Mostly ignore the towns, they are too infested and dangerous, but fear not the dangers of mines and other places along the road. Eventually, get a vehicle and learn mechanics, because there is no road warrior complete without one.

    Bunker Constructor - Transform the starting evac shelter into a true fortress and into a more comfortable place, and never migrate, instead stockpiling supplies and resources inside it. Eventually build a garage as well because leaving a car exposed to acid rain is not cool.

    The Last Gentleman - Don your suit, leather shoes, top hat and monocle, because style and pomp is more important than convenience or body armor, refusing to consume potato chips Doritos, root beer and cola Mountain Dew and other foods and drinks of poor taste or lowly standard for the unwashed rabble, and make a mansion into a new home, hopefully one conveniently close to a Megastore and to a Hospital. AND NEVER, EVER DRINK WATER OUT OF A FILTHY TOILET LIKE A 12-YEAR OLD BETHSOFT FANBOY LARPING FALLOUT 3 AND THINKING IT IS THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST, EVEN AFTER CLEANED. Better to die as an ubermensch than to live as an animal.

    SurReal World - Pretend the end never happened and make a living like a tree-hugging snownigger during the Iron Age, avoiding any contact with the urbanized graveyards of fallen humanity and surviving with only what nature provides. Hopefully this will not end with someone eaten by mutated megafauna or something.

    EXTERMINATUS!!! - Before the undead ITZ came, hundreds of miniaturized nuclear bombs were manufactured. There is no more hope, you are the last man alive, but you're not going down until Earth is completely purged from all mutants, zombies and xenos wherever they may lie. And of course, better put a bullet to the head than become a filthy mutant xenos, and cybernetics are naturally an affront to the purity and divinity of man.

    Forever Alone, Drugs and Rock n' Roll - Everything is shit, everything has always been shit. It is time to forget that under loads of hemp, cocaine, crack, heroin, meth and anything more available while always listening to a MP3 player. Twenty eight feet tall monsters between you and some cocaine? You are more likely to try grabbing it than running away.

    Transhuman nutjob - What's wrong with drinking that mutagen? NOTHING! Humanity is extinct, long live the Mutant and the Cyborg! Focus almost all efforts into gaining mutations and finding Cybernetic Modules to implant.

    Rat Diplomat - You're so shit scared of anything you will always try to avoid combat. Fortunately, it is possible to totally avoid combat in Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead, if difficult. Traps may be your salvation to not die crapping on the pants because you're likely to stand motionless and paralyzed until cutted into pieces if forced to fight, specially in close quarters.

    Stats

    All start at 8. Increasing any past 14 costs 2 points rather than 1.

    Strength - for carrying more weight, melee damage boost and health. You need at least 10 to use a longbow.

    Dexterity- important for first aid, electronics and other skills that require precise movements, and also the most important stat for throwing weapons and melee and unarmed combat accuracy.

    Intelligence - speeds up skill improvement from both practice and reading books. Advanced books, specially electronics and computer ones, have a minimum INT to be understood.

    Perception - Important for archery and firearms, and you need at least 10 to be able to spot any trap. Also important for the Tai Chi martial art in particular.

    Skills

    Level one costs 1 point, two costs 3, Three costs 5 and so on. It is possible and more fun to survive without any initial investment in skills and there is one important detail before considering to start a new character already having them: Stats in this game are almost impossible to be increased permanently, while skills aren't. Finally, some professions give the character a book to increase some skills.

    Combat skills: Dodge, Melee, Unarmed combat(pointless without picking Martial Arts Training), Bashing weapons, Cutting weapons, Piercing weapons, Throwing, Firearms(also helps with archery and is required for refilling empty bullet
    cases), Handguns, Shotguns, Submachine guns, Rifles, Archery(allows you to craft wood arrows and bolts, and also a longbow), Grenade launcher.

    Computers: Some of the best loot requires you to either hack a computer... or use a miniature nuclear bomb or C4 explosive which may destroy the loot too. Maps of entire regions can also be not removed from an inventory with this skill

    Mechanics: a Road Warrior will sooner or later try to learn it. Someone trying to avoid direct combat also will have a lot of help because it is a complementary skill to traps.

    Electronics: From water purifiers, which are the most energy-efficient device to clean water to the possibility of crafting the most essential cybermodule in its highest levels, and most importantly, of creating batteries from household materials,this is a very handy skill.

    Cooking: At first it increases what you can cook. Later it allows you to produce painkillers, sleeping pills and other drugs, reducing the need of going into pharmacies for scavenging.

    Construction: With static spawn becoming the way and dynamic practically pointless after version 0.2, it lost its importance because currently zombies never leave towns and roam in huge packs across the world that may stumble into someone's shelter, while the makeshift bed can be done even at level 0 in this. Construction still has a good purpose: if you are going to do lots of car modifications and construction and don't want to clean a town, building a garage is very useful to avoid being attacked by wild animals while welding. Or if you want to build a house in the middle of the forest.

    Survival: It is possible to survive without this skill, but it is possible to survive without ever scavenging a town by having this skill.

    Traps: Baiting is a viable tactic to put down a lot of enemies, and a trap may save you from an enemy that can move faster.

    Tailoring: Some of the best armor and clothing in this game is not available for scavenging, it has to be crafted. Tailoring also is used to repair damaged clothing, make them reinforced or improve their fit, reducing their encumberance. Only cloth or wool clothes can be repaired, reinforced or fitted.

    First Aid: One level in it is enough to craft bandages out of rags, duct tape and booze.

    Barter and Speech: Useless

    Swimming: Mostly useless.

    Driving: If you can't drive well enough, any vehicle will fumble a lot and turn where you don't want it to turn, increasing the risk of crashes.

    Traits

    With cost or extra character creation points, in the case of the negative ones, shown.

    NOTE: You cannot have more than 12 points spent in positive traits or more than 12 points gained by picking negative traits.

    POSITIVE

    Fleet-footed(3 points) : 15% faster movement

    Parkour Expert(2 pts): Obstacles like railings, bushes, benches, tables, etc won't slow you down and getting through broken windows has a smaller chance of getting you wounded by the glass shards.

    Quick(3 pts): 10% extra action points for everything, including movement

    Optimist(2 pts): 20 points of positive morale. Morale determines how fast you gain XP in the game and the XP is spent in the use-based skill levelling, so if it reaches 0 grinding is pointless. Essentially, this trait indirectly speeds up skill progression and allows the character to have enough mood to craft even if wet, as far as I can remember.

    Fast Healer(2 pts), Light Eater (3), Pain(2) or Poison Resistant(1), Night Vision(1), Fast Reader(1) and Fast Learner(3): Self-explaining.

    Tough(3 pts): 20% extra health.

    Thick-skinned(2 pts): Reduced cutting damaged

    Packmule(3 pts): Can carry 40% more volume.

    Deft(2 pts): If you miss a melee attack, it takes less action points for you to recover and be able to try another one.

    Drunken Master(2 pts): Being drunk turns you into an UFC Champion with titanium bones... sort of. Best combined with Martial Arts Training.

    Gourmand(2 pts): Can eat and drink more before getting full or slaked and food and drinks give a bigger morale bonus.

    Animal Empathy(1 pt): Peaceful animals like deers, squirrels and rabbits won't run away while wolves, bears, spiders and cougars are less likely to attack.

    Terrifying(2 pts): Wild animals that would attack you otherwise will flee instead.

    Disease Resistant(1 pt): Flu sucks. For would-be mutants, this trait can mutate into total disease immunity... or not.

    High Adrenaline(3 pts): When in a very dangerous situation, like surrounded by machete rape gang zombies, you gain a rush that boosts speed and strength for a while.

    Self-aware(1 pt): Shows exactly how many HPs the character has left.

    Inconspicuous(2 pts): Reduces the chances of monsters giving you a surprise buttsex wake up call while sleeping.

    Masochist(2 pts): Pain has the same negative effects as otherwise, but also gives a morale boost, I think.

    Light Step(1 pt): You make less noise when walking, which means a greater chance of a zombie not breaking through the windows of a house because of hearing you inside.

    Android(4 pts): Starts with some random cybernetic implants. For sake of roleplaying, cannot be picked with the EXTERMINATUS! playstyle which assumes a bioconservative, and not with SurReal World either.

    Robust genetics(2 pts): The chance of bad mutations happening is much smaller. For a would-be mutant, this is a must have trait.

    Cannibal(3 pts): I think a character needs this trait to be able to eat human flesh when not almost dying of starvation, and by extension for appreciating the greatest gourmet of the Post-ITZ cooked with cutted underwear. No cannibal trait = no babymeat.

    Martial Arts Training(3 pts): Unarmed specialists are fun and risky, Drunken Masters with this trait as well are twice as fun. The options are:

    Karate- gives you extra dodges against coming enemy attacks for every successful hit.

    Judo- allows rapid recovery from being knocked down and gives throwing special attacks to put enemies off-balance.

    Aikido- deals less damage in unarmed combat but a lot more pain(useless against zombies AFAIK), and also allows you to disarm armed enemies.

    Tai Chi- another defensive focused martial art, except for allowing precision strikes. It has perception as an important stat for block chances, which provides a good synergy with ranged combat.

    Taekwondo- relies on Strength for blocking, is focused on kicking and gives knockdown and sweep attacks at higher unarmed skill levels.

    NEGATIVE TRAITS

    Near-sighted(2 pts): Without eyeglasses or better, a monocle, you have a very limited line of sight.

    Far-sighted(2 pts): You cannot read without reading glasses and will be very poor at melee combat without them as well.

    Heavy sleeper(1 pt): The noise of a zombie breaking a window open is probably not be enough to wake up this character.

    Asthmatic(4 pts): Not recommended at all unless you want a very short run. It has a chance of making the PC die of asphixia while sleeping and there is nothing the player can do to prevent it. Seriously.

    Bad Back(3 pts): Reduces maximum carry weight by 35%.

    Illiterate(5 pts): Forget about reading books to learn skills, and naturally, forget about getting inside laboratories, bank vaults and bunkers by hacking computer terminals to open doors. You'll have to use bombs to gain access to certain places if you pick this one. A truly limiting disadvantage.

    Poor hearing(2 pts): Self-explaining.

    Insomniac(2 pts): Without sleeping pills, sleeping at night will be complicated.

    Hardcore Vegan(3 pts): You have such a convinction of your vegetarian ideals the mere idea of eating meat makes you wish to vomit.

    Glass Jaw(3 pts): 15% less HP in the head.

    Forgetful(3 pts): Free points because I play with skill rust disabled, for it makes the game too grindy.

    Lightweight (1 pt): Drugs have a much longer negative effect.

    Addictive personality (3 pts): Self-explaining.

    Trigger Happy (2 pts): Sometimes the character will burst fire instead of firing single shots with an automatic weapon.

    Smelly (1 pt): A much worse disadvantage than what its meager 1 extra point suggests. Makes running away from hordes more difficult.

    Chemical Imbalance(2 pts): The character will feel hunger, thirst, sleepy and even high at random.

    Schizophrenic(5 pts): A very fun and dangerous disadvantage, not recommended for a serious playthrough. There are drugs to temporarily put out the craziness that may lead a character to self-harm, but they are rare.

    Jittery (3 pts): When under heavy stress or stimulants, the character hands shake, giving a serious penalty to dexterity.

    Hoarder (4 pts): Unless carrying as much volume as possible all the time, the character will feel bad and suffer a morale penatly that can only be mitigated with Xanax, another not very easily found drug. It is more annoying than challenging to be honest, because of the inventory microing needed to prevent it.

    Savant (4 pts): You'll improve one skill twice faster but all others will be improved at half of the normal rate. Fast Learner is pointless when combined with this.

    What makes weeaboos wet (1 pt): you have sudden mood swings, both good and bad, like those shitty anime characters the wapanese tend to love.

    Weak stomach(1 pt): You are more likely to vomit because of drinking too much alcohol or eating rotten or poisoned food.

    Wool allergy(1 pt): Cannot wear anything made with wool.

    Truth teller(2 pts): Pretty much free extra points in this version because NPCs are disabled.

    Ugly(1 pt): ibid.

    HARDCORE PC GAMER MASTER RACE(6 pts): The character health is reduced to 1/4th of the standard hitpoints, which means dying is far more likely. Combine with Glass Jaw and 0 free character creation points for Maximum Hardcore.

    Profession

    Gives different starting equipment, clothes and items and maybe addiction to drugs. Depending on whether it helps or hinder the start, it costs points or give free ones. All characters start with a pocket knife and with a matchbook with 20 matches. Here are the available options:

    Unemployed(0 pts): The default option. Starts with a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers that are perfect fits and give a few extra action points because of it. No books or items at all.

    Tailor(costs 1 pt): Starts with a Tailoring book that can increase that skill up to level 3, with a sewing kit and scissors. Starts wearing a blazer that gives 1 of torso encumberance but provides some warmth, an unemcumbering polo shirt, khaki pants and dress shoes. Can't run as fast with those dress shoes as someone with sneakers.

    Lab Technician(costs 1 pt): Starts with a Lab Coat, providing a little more storage volume than the previous two professions. Not really much useful.

    Wannabe Mechanic(costs 2 pts): Starts with a very useful belt rig because of the extra storage space it gives, with a Top Gear magazine that can bring driving skill to the first level, with a basic mechanics book, which is very, very useful because of the tools that can be done with level 3 in mechanics and finally with a wrench that serves well as a first weapon. However, either as a bug or as an intended feature, the mechanic starts without shoes, which brings a hefty 15% increase in the cost of action points to move.

    Chain Smoker(gives 1 extra pt): No really useful equipment, worse starting clothes than those of an Unemployed because of higher encumberance and a few cigarettes. Starts with addiction to nicotine.

    And now my small modding extra profession:

    :M

    Games Journalist(gives 1 extra pt): "You made your living deceiving 12-year olds and yourself to preorder or day-one purchase overrated entertainment. You start suffering withdrawal from popamole console games." Exactly what the description says. Popamole withdrawal reduces intelligence by hefty 4 points, and there is no more popamole left.

    :incline:

    Notice that I will play in a very suicidal way should you pick the last profession.




    Choose your combination of gender, difficulty, play style, stats, traits, professions and maybe starting skills or maybe not, or just post a general idea of how you want your character to be if you can't bother doing the math.
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 3
    ^ Top  
  2. tindrli Arcane

    tindrli
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,167
    Location:
    Dragodol
    And where the hell is Cleve :rpgcodex:
     
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  3. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    Safely inside his self-sufficient and self-powered bunker playing and developing Grimoire because obviously he made proper preparations and therefore does not have to risk his skin scavenging food like the witless manboons, for he got means of producing food, water, medicine and electricity in the bunker his great 180 IQ Neanderthal genius envisioned decades before ITZ.
     
    • Brofist Brofist x 2
    ^ Top  
  4. Corporate_Jew_Master Arcane

    Corporate_Jew_Master
    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    6,649
    Location:
    Rape
  5. Hellraiser Arcane

    Hellraiser
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2007
    Messages:
    8,736
    Location:
    Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
    I vote Forever alone, free drugs and booze for everyone, that is yourself.
     
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  6. JagreenLern Erudite Patron

    JagreenLern
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Messages:
    1,061
    Location:
    Compton, California
    MCA Project: Eternity
    Transhuman Nutjob.
    With Robust Genetics and Cannibal, balanced out by Trigger-happy and Addictive personality.

    Humanity is dead, and the fuckers had it coming. Why die with it? Feed on the dead, enhance your abilities however you can, and become the apex predator of this glorious new world!
     
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  7. Lagole Gon Arcane Patron

    Lagole Gon
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2011
    Messages:
    4,307
    Location:
    Retaken Potato
    If we can't play as Cleve, we should play as...

    Benny - the world's ugliest mexican gangster! The LA riots will strike again!

    Transhuman Nutjob + Forever Alone, Drugs and Rock n' Roll

    Apocalyptic LARP

    Chain smoker

    -
    Trigger Happy
    Smelly
    Ugly
    Forgetful

    +
    Cannibal
    Terrifying
    Parkour Expert
    Night vision

    1 point in firearms
    1 point in cooking meth.

    Prioritize strength.
    Keep perception decent.
    Lower int if necessary.
     
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  8. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    There weren't many votes but I won't pull that as a pretext to abandon this. Therefore, with a few licenses to make this more interesting and HARDCORE, the saga of Benny Gonzales, the world's ugliest mexican gangster and the legendary last man standing on Earth, begins. And all updates will feature proper titles to match the character.

    =====================================

    [​IMG]

    Día 1: Yo Soy La Leyenda

    Day 1 theme

    [​IMG]

    Benny Gonzales, just another of many Mexican thugs, except for being slightly brighter than the usual, which is no surprise considering his head is slightly shaped like a melon, ugliest than all and much stronger. Another criminal oblivious to what fate reserved for him and living every day as if it were his last, on whores, drugs and of course, more whores. He was an even worse person than what demonstrated by his already long records, for he hid a dark desire during most of his life, something far worse than murder he no longer has to hide. It was iconic that such a scumbag would be the last of mankind, a true representative of how everything is shit, a genuine sample of why the sapiens are the worst scum of this Earth since they learned to chuck more than spears.

    His already immoral life now had even less reasons to change. The curtains of the shelter are closed, both because he prefers the shadows and because of safety. But Benny won't just wait inside. He has no food and no water, only a few matches, a pocket knife and some clothes he'd rather set on fire than wear in shame because those professional looking dress shoes, pants and shirt are ruining his gangsta cred and making him look like a fag, and he cares about that even though nobody is alive to witness it. Plus, he has resisted his impulses for too long. It is time to venture and appreciate the lawlessness of ITZ and the tenderness and flavor of human flesh, specially of babymeat.

    (Note: Glass Jaw and Hardcore because Benny got Cojones to even dare defying a Neanderthal Ubermensch.)

    [​IMG]

    He sets out to the nearby small village in New England, just northwest of the shelter. What a Mexican is doing in New England rather than in L.A. is a long history and no longer matters. Always mindful of his ethos of acting like a badass thug, he gets inside a house's bathroom in the outskirts by breaking its window with his bare fists, and then cleans the glass with his bare fists and locates a basement. He resists the pull of nicotine in the hopes something with a bigger punch could be inside that basement, something better at making him forget his street cred and achievements have no more meaning.

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately, it was just some kind of workshop. Nevertheless, after disassembling a lawnmower, Benny found much useful scrap. Back in the days it could be worth some crack or even cocaine, but right now, it is worthless, or maybe not so worthless. You see, Benny has another passion other than his dreams of how human flesh and babymeat tastes like: he is an enthusiast for medievil weapons, and he got an idea by looking at the blades taken off the mower. Yet, this house had no duct tape, so he had to look elsewhere. At least the trenchcoat will make him look more OG and less primp faggot.

    [​IMG]

    Going to a house north, Benny found a handy messenger bag, and closed the bedroom curtains quickly when spotting one of the things. He could have sworn it was one of his homies now shambling among them, the one who took the canned baby food straight to his face because of that crazy cracker asshole during their "shopping" in a market. Except Miguel was so full of crack he isn't behaving that differently from how he did shortly before ITZ. Now it doesn't matter, better not be spotted by those nasty things without a gun because they bite hard, they can tear anyone apart in seconds, and why fight them while there are countless meth, cocaine, and crack laying around?

    [​IMG]

    As he approached to close the curtains, he spotted a six feet tall naked nigger drenched in blood and wielding a large and sharp machete right next to Miguel. Benny closed the curtains even faster and really wished for some heavy drugs to wipe out the visage of that rotting horror from his brain. Of course, what has been seen... he prayed to Mary, ironic as fuck but he doesn't care, for him to never have to face that thing or look at that thing again.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Being an enthusiast of medieval weapons, Benny finally got the materials and made an improvised glaive(halberd would be more like replacing the handle of an axe or hatched with a much longer one than using a lawn mower blade). It looks like (d), a polearm with an edge that slightly resembles a machete except for lacking all the fancy faggot decor. Now he was equipped to defend himself properly, but he'd rather not take much chance.

    Nah, glaive the cops! More like a perfect name for this cool-looking makeshift weapon:

    POLEMACHETE

    And sure, Benny is confident reading is for fags but those are too useful and not gay literature. And there was that time Benny got word from a friend of a friend of a friend who wroked in a sewage treatment plant that sewage workers live in the shit so they love some pot to forget everything is literally shit in their work, and hid a lot of stashes with ganja in those plants, and as far as Benny knows those plants need a password in a computer to be opened and he cannot even turn a computer on because PCs are for nerdy crackers and not for Mexican mothafuckas like him... but if he is learning a bit to hack a sewage treatment plant to look for marijuana inside then it is not cracka it is still being a mothafucka O.G. from Tampico.

    [​IMG]

    "Carajo! That is why that old Pentium whatever broke when I attached a tube from my house piping to it to get Internet Access!" he spoke to himself loudly upon finishing his reading of "How to Browse the Web". He ignored the thrist and hunger and decided to just finish that faggy shit as soon as possible so he can redeem his badass OGness by having some fun now that, as he says:

    "Día de los Muertos todos los días! Diversión, drogas y carne de bebé! Pero no más narcovídeos, mierda!

    He has always been disappointed with the end of the Narcovideos, or that he never found a camera to record his badassitude as an OG about to kick zombie ass in the night. What a shame.

    [​IMG]

    Before going in his redemption for the sin of reading a book, Benny decided to make the house where he found that basement his house. It is distant enough from the village to not be a serious threat, hopefully. The beaner dropped some surplus stuff he looted in the bedroom before going into another looting run, which brought him sweet memories of burning Los Angeles, and speaking of burning and L.A. Riots, he had some nice ideas on how to prove his awesomeness and put the dead back to death in large numbers, but he would first have fun with his polemachete.

    [​IMG]

    Thanks to being a stinky beaner, he does not need to keep flour in bags. He just fills his own body with it, any and everywhere and will recover it later with a scoop. And being a stinky beaner, there is nothing he enjoys more than eating Doritos, which he glues to his sweaty chest so he doesn't have to carry its bag around, saving storage space.

    (Note: Anything stored in a plastic bag does not need to stay in the plastic bag, and same for all foods stored in something like cardboard box or whatever. Only liquids need containers)

    [​IMG]

    Faggots complain and prefer to cook it like women, while OG badasses who are not afraid of enjoying the dinner while it is full of ice like it raw. And now that his hunger was dealt with, Benny began to have second thoughts on the need of redemption from the betaness of reading a book about computers to show his alpha self remains as true as ever.

    [​IMG]

    Somehow a dumb squirrel got inside that house. You know, the house right west of that house where Benny found a messenger bag and witnessed what he would like to unsee like that thing the asshole who threw baby food at him was talking about. And he realized how powerful his polemachete was. He first doubted it, wondered if a spike strapped to a long pole as a spear would be better, and now is glad to be wrong. He tried to butcher the dead squirrel, but that pocket knife is unmanly. It even remains folded most of the time!

    [​IMG]

    Then, while he was looting the bedroom of yet another generic and featureless abandoned house in something that would be called a city only in Georgia...

    A WILD PIKACHU ZOMBIE APPEARS!

    (Note: I know this is an incredibly shitty joke almost as bad as spacemoose spamming pokejihad threads)

    [​IMG]

    Curtains closed, and now he can finally get rid of that pink dress shirt and wear something somewhat manlier, and warmer, which is good because this ain't Mexico or Los Angeles. This place is cold as fuck. It is no surprise a writer born here wrote some faggy shit about monsters in Antarctica and some boring nerdy scientists too beta to kick those monster asses like Mexican OGs.

    And speaking of kicking monster asses...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Light a cigarette, chew a bubblegum(but there is no bubblegum), ready the polemachete and try to kick more zombie ass than the badasses in Planet Terror!

    It is zombie slashing time.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    This is why cops oftenly use a TASER more than once. Despite taking the TASER, Benny the Ugliest Mexican Gangster of the World held his polemachete firmly and hacked the zombie pikachu to pieces. In a short respite, still feeling the shock, he commented:

    "Gringos all pussies a kraut with a spear would piss off his pants instead, I am awesome and take that!"

    He sliced and diced a lot of zombies, but being a Legend requires being hardcored, and being both HARDCORE and having a glass jaw, Benny realized that eventually he'd better run as wounds were getting worse.

    [​IMG]

    Lest he becomes a meal for dogs. He retreated, and delivered much death to the dead, trying to survive, because Day-One dying is not for OGs, no, that won't happen!

    [​IMG]

    He held his ground with his polemachete, butchering a dog for the traditional Mexican barbecue, showing his natural aptitude in machete fighting skills despite never having fought with anything that could put up a fight before. Mexican gangsters have a natural talent to use the instruments of the Ultimate DOOM Expansion Set just like they have a natural talent to record Narcovideos that would make Ruggero Deodato proud.

    [​IMG]

    But eventually too many of them showed up and one tore a hole in his chest with a vicious bite that almost perforated his heart. Benny finally did what any Mexican badass Original Gangsta mothafucka would do.

    He ran as fast as he could, until he stopped hearing them.

    Despite being on the verge of death, Benny survived. Cautiously, he returned to the house he recently squatted, and remembered of the badassitude of Rambo as he considered how to deal with that nasty bite wound so close to his heart.

    [​IMG]

    And like a true badass, he cauterized it in the most painful possible way without crying like a bitch.

    Or did he?

    Doesn't matter. He looked at the bed, a comfy one, no better place to sleep for sure. Benny wore a sweater because of the cold and took a Nyquil to help him sleeping. Actually two because first he slept without a sweater and woke up less than a hour later due to the cold. And hopefully he would not become dinner while sleeping.

    [​IMG]

    Somehow, after all he went through, after being almost mortally wounded, after taking the equivalent of a TASER to the butt, after an entire day with just one cigarette.

    Somehow he is still alive, but another tough day lies ahead, and no signs of the really good stuff yet.

    Will the Ugliest Mexican Gangster survive another day?

    But how should this intrepid OG spend his second day?

    1) Continue looting the village(or city by Georgian standards) and clearing zombies slowly. Start a L.A. Riot grade fire to wipe them out if necessary, or just for fun.

    2) Get on the road and away from that village before getting killed, and try to find a Sewage treatment plant or some dead drug dealers to have some fun. If the latter, both ITZ-cuisine grade fun and drugs

    3) Read the other books(Cooking and Mechanics) by day and loot the village by night to redeem himself from the betaness of reading books.
     
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  9. tindrli Arcane

    tindrli
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,167
    Location:
    Dragodol
    2
     
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  10. Lagole Gon Arcane Patron

    Lagole Gon
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2011
    Messages:
    4,307
    Location:
    Retaken Potato
    Dudebro, you should post a map! We can't make decisions like this without data.

    I'm voting 2 for now.
     
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  11. Lindblum Scholar

    Lindblum
    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    659
    3 lets build up a foundation of supplies.
     
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  12. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7,337
    Location:
    Neverwhere
    3. The only thing that can stop the doom of Machete Negro Rape gangs is a True Monocled Gentleman :obviously:
     
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  13. tindrli Arcane

    tindrli
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,167
    Location:
    Dragodol
    and i was wondering what hell is missing
     
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  14. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    I'll show it in the next update.
     
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  15. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    Suffer not the Beaner

    [​IMG]

    The Beaner realized there was a Mansion in the middle of the forest. Pool tables? YEAH, but first he had his breakfast:

    [​IMG]

    :kingcomrade:

    [​IMG]

    Damn wolves already came in to ruin his morning before he arrived at the mansion, but nothing would make him disappointed.

    The mansion was AWESOME. He spent several minutes playing in one of many pool tables, and then he decided to pretend he was just getting all those books to make a fire like a true OG>

    [​IMG]

    And that was not all. There was much more useful stuff in that mansion, and thus he made a second trip for more looting. He has chosen to not stay in that mansion because he felt an eerie hatred, other than being in the middle of the forest ensured all kinds of dangerous wildlife could get inside. That hatred from the otherworld was like that of a gentleman gazing in disgust as a nigger or beaner of the most stereotypical type intrudes in his prestigious residence, and Benny didn't like it at all.

    THEN A SPIDER STRANGELY WEARING A MONOCLE SHOWED UP!

    [​IMG]

    In his last moments, Benny heard a voice in his head:

    SUFFER NOT THE BEANER TO LIVE!

    LONG DEATH TO THE SAPIENS MANBOON!

    LONG LIVE THE NEANDERTHALS!

    FIN
     
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  16. Lagole Gon Arcane Patron

    Lagole Gon
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2011
    Messages:
    4,307
    Location:
    Retaken Potato
    Fucking spiders bro.
    I know that feel bro.
     
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  17. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    Hardcore disadvantage ensures pre 0.3 grade difficulty.

    I should have dropped the sweater and trenchcoat to reduce encumbrance, but this was a such a fitting end for such a character.

    Unfortunately this is it. 0.5 is on the horizon, thus I'll wait for it before doing a new Let's Play.
     
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