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Inactive Let's Play Europa Universalis III: Jerusalem Sancta

WHICH IS BETTER AND WHY?

  • Tripoli (MMU)

    Votes: 5 11.1%
  • Jerusalem (fun2EU)

    Votes: 13 28.9%
  • Ikko-Ikki (fun2EU)

    Votes: 4 8.9%
  • Norway (MMU)

    Votes: 5 11.1%
  • Pskov (MMU)

    Votes: 3 6.7%
  • Copt Egypt (fun2EU)

    Votes: 9 20.0%
  • Navarra (fun2EU)

    Votes: 3 6.7%
  • Riga (MMU)

    Votes: 3 6.7%

  • Total voters
    45

Gondolin

Arcane
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
5,827
Location
Purveyor of fine art
The king embraced the popamole on the way down! :D
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
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Victor supra terra, victor supra mare

The far side of the world

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John Maxwell, after the fall of several heathen strongholds, led the crusaders forward to eliminate the remnants of the Moroccan armies, emerging once again victorious.

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DEUS VULT!

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The opportunistic frogs of Guyenne joined in to take some land for themselves.

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The crusaders of Jerusalem are the best of the best. Their legacy of victories, of killing disproportionatedly more heathens for every of them that fell, and specially, during the past, of winning battles against numerically even or even superior foes who had the advantage of the terrain in their favor, made them a force respected and praised over Europe, bringing much prestige to the kingdom.

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Now, to wait for the frogs to end this and then take near everything they didn't. Meanwhile, the now much larger fleet of Jerusalem is preparing itself for its greatest trial so far. An army is sent back to Jerusalem to be shipped by sea to the Canary Islands, but for that to happen, they must crush the still intact heathen fleet.

The soldiers prayed. Their faith was such they were already inside the boats before the seas were conquered, as they believed in victory. If they lost the battle, thousands would drown.

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Eventually the engagement began over the Barbary Coast. The heathen fleet outnumbered the fleet of Jerusalem and had the same numbers of capital ships. Yet in their arrogance, the heathens thought they didn't need the leadership of an admiral to win this battle. None were braver than the crews of the five galleys. While the carracks exchanged cannon fire through their broadsides with the enemy capital ships, the small vessels bravely provided support and kept the barques away from them, while single-handedly pursuing and harassing the transports that vastly outnumbered them.

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Let us not forget that the same focus on quality of the armies applied here. When the sailors of the holy fleet boarded an enemy ship, they had little chance, and this way, when victory was clear, one of their larger vessels was successfully captured while another was lost to the waves together with one of their light ships. Outnumbered and facing a foe that gave a much greater focus to their navy, the brave sailors of Jerusalem still emerged victorious, as the fleet now advanced towards the Atlantic, to launch an invasion over the Canary Islands.

DEUS VULT!

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Now it is only a matter of time. The total victory of Jerusalem is asssured. But first let the French take whatever they want.

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Guyenne settled for little. Good for Jerusalem. Sus, the most valuable lands of this heathen kingdom, is a source of much gold that will serve greatly for Jerusalem goals.

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Thanks to the near annihilation of all heathens over North Africa, soon there will be only one place left for the Barbary pirates: the gallows.

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Ceuta could also be a valuable port to explore the mysteries of the uncharted waters of the Atlantic. The total defeat of the heathen is now certain.

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Oh great, more traitors driven by greed. How surprising.

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The heathen seat of power also fell, by April of the year of the Lord 1518. Then, together with the news of these victories, eventually brooding news:

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In September, the now Khagan of the Timurids unilaterally declared their alliance with Jerusalem null and void without giving reasons. This immediately riled up many who always wanted for Jerusalem to crush this "obvious threat" before it grew so strong. Although not a declaration of war, this is not a good sign. Godwin simply stated upon hearing these news:

"Unfortunate, but ultimately, if their wish is to betray Jerusalem, they are too late. No matter how vast their legions, if they ever dare to attack, there will be no more Timurids."

Other mongols are also active across the world, with the rump state of Russia being on the verge of total defeat by the Golden Horde after the Lithuanian Hitmen Empire crushed them and left them powerless. Like Finland, Russia will soon be wiped from the map.

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Further showing how foolish was for Jerusalem to make treaties with snakes, the heathens of the Timurids also forbid Jerusalem from trading in their unholy lands. Irrelevant because Jerusalem has no tradition of trade, but a sign they may be willing to go further. Now that there is no more Islamic threat for Jerusalem to the west, perhaps it would be a wise idea to wait for their primitive khanate to face a tribal succession crisis and crush them before they do what they obviously want to against Jerusalem.

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The gold of Sus is already being shipped to the treasury of Jerusalem. Meanwhile the usual heretics and traitors are being put in their place.

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John Maxwell, another great hero of Jerusalem.

:salute:

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All of Morocco has been subjugated. It is time to turn this heathen kingdom into nothing.

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All of their most valuable lands will be taken, Jerusalem has taken another great step towards becoming an empire.

DEUS VULT!

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But, after all their victories against the heathen, after all their achievements, after virtually securing ever land Jesus stepped upon during his life for Christianity, what has the Church done in recognition of Jerusalem?

NOTHING!

Some even go further and there are whispers of how the bishops of Jerusalem were poisoned to ensure Jerusalem would not gain the Curia. During all this time, all the Church did was to take advantage of the victories of Jerusalem to forge their own little empire over North Africa. And how did they thank Jerusalem for this?

By criticizing their kings and meddling with Jerusalem, by demanding riches, lands and more riches, by taking the toil from the crusaders for themselves. A certain priest nailed ninety-five theses against the practice of indulgence, and also against several other practices of the Church considered unjust and contrary to the Bible itself. What would have ended into another heretic receiving the *BLAM* became something greater, as some German nations gave to this man, and to other of the so called reformers, refuge and some even already broke off with the Church. Although right now it was too early for something as bold as this, over Jerusalem the fundamental idea of the reform was gaining popularity among the king, his most loyal men and parts of the clergy.

Having almost single-handledy defeated the heathens over the Holy Land, purged Africa from Islam and indirectly saving Europe from becoming a Dhimmitude, Jerusalem was in a better position than ever to cause a lasting impact over Europe depending on how they decide to handle this issue in the coming years. Right now only whispered sympathies existed, but soon it would come a time for a decision to be made, on whether to stay loyal to the Church in the hopes they will be more grateful, or to proclaim Jerusalem as the seat of a new Christian Church.

There was also something funny going on over the kingdom: a lot of Swiss dignitaries have been visiting the king lately, having several closed door meetings nobody had any idea why. Many of these dignataries were obviously not of noble origin, but what exactly was the meaning of these meetings was yet to be understood.

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The heathens continue to take further steps towards a potential treason. If they are wise, they shall tread lightly, for Jerusalem will never forgive such an act, and has historically defeated far larger and more powerful nations combined before.

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Although the armies of Morocco have been defeated, the so called Mujahideen continue to defy the authority of Jerusalem together with all other heathens and traitors. And like all of them, they shall crumble.

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Eventually the day of decision has come. And funnily, there were again lots of Swiss dignitaries over the court when the King finally gathered everyone, and asked for the count of Ibelin to deliver the bombastic declaration on his behalf, as he knew he was not particularly talented at speeches, even if the only people who would listen to this were the most loyalist among the court:

"Let it be known that from now on, the only heresy is to deny Jesus Christ as the path to salvation, that all those who believe in the Lord are now equal in the eyes of the Kingdom, no matter whether they follow the authority of the Pope, of the Patriarch or of only their free interpretation of the Holy Bible, which printing in the vernacular shall also be fully authorized from now on. And eventually, eventually, the kingdom shall take further measures to bring Jerusalem to a new age! An age of Renaissance and Enlightenment. The help of all of you will be soon needed, as there will be many trials ahead, yet let us all remember once the traitors begin their chorus: it was thanks to us that Jerusalem was freed together with the entire Levant from the heathen, as well as North Africa, and let us not forget that our victories halted the threat of Iberia over Europe. Equally, let us never forget the display of "gratitude" the Church once gave to some who, centuries before us, equally fought for the holy lands: the Knights Templar. For their dedication to the struggle, because like us now, they have grown powerful and thus were seen as a threat to the greed of the Church, were accused of HERESY! and betrayed by the same Church they fought in the name of.

Therefore, we will for now wait, let us give them the chance to show they have some gratitude for Jerusalem, but if they show none, we will have to take drastic measures and break away from Rome for our own good, lest we end like the Templars."

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And thus, the once incredibly zealous against HERESY! Jerusalem has changed, although that change was not really much of an improvement for those who practice HERESY! The Inquisition remained at large, and they didn't know of these "protestant sympathies". Catholicism was still the official State religion of the kingdom, and therefore the Inquisition continued to perform the duty of its office under such assumption.

The year of 1523 would begin. A lot has changed for Jerusalem. They have grown mightier than ever, and disillusioned with the Pope, their kings have gradually taken small steps towards independence. The Protestant reformation was just beginning and could end nowhere, but if the saviors of Christian Europe were to embrace it, they would definitively sway many towards such path, for right now, Jerusalem was becoming almost as influential as the Church, exactly like the mentioned Knights Templar before their demise. Where once they were threatened from all sides, then all threats faded away, now a new threat came from the treasonous Timurids who broke their alliance in a sign they obviously have hostile intentions, and depending on which path they shall follow in wake of the Reformation, soon a major clash might happen as well between Jerusalem and the Papal State to make it clear who God supports.

And speaking of Templars, some rumors claimed the Swiss dignitaries were them, or what's left of them as part of a secret society that is now centuries old, and with ties with the mythical Freemasonry. The most noticeable of these supposed "Templars" was definitively Andreas Brevik for his visible zealousness and hatred of Islam, shown by his comment on how not even the children of the ragheads should be spared and that it is morally justifiable to slay those who practice humanist tolerance due to the threat they pose to the supremacy of Europe.

JERUSALEM, NOT ROME, IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF CHRISTIANITY. A RIGHTEOUS CHURCH SHOULD HAVE JERUSALEM AND NOT ROME AS ITS SEAT.

DEUS VULT!
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
one flayed pope plz, well salted

-3 stability hit isn't something you can afford while the sandnigger traitors of Morocco keep betraying Jerusalem and rising no matter how many are put down, and in this game Protestantism has been pretty weak, for now. To be honest, actually nonexistent so far, so I wonder if it's a bug or just coincidence of the movement seemingly having starting over Iceland and endling like a Prisoner of Ice. Nevertheless, once turbanhead traitors are put down enough and stability is at an excellent shape, I'll consider it.

Also this will be the last update in this page.

=============================

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Imperium Ascendentis

Children of Dune - the Jihad


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The traitors never give up. Their insolence seems infinite.

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Alexandria is the only city where Jerusalem trades, but still, the merchants have been loyal to the Kingdom, far more loyal than certain traitors without honor and without God.

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Hopefully this excellent bishop will help decreasing the number of durka durkas willing to suicidally rebel. This has grown into a serious nuisance.

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To further salt the wound, now Mecca became the second city where the Crusader culture became dominant. Through careful diplomacy the Timurids have been kept at bay, and fortunately there are signs their empire is on the verge of collapse.

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At this point the Jerusalem crusaders killed ten times more hurrka durrkas than standing armies. Seriously, how can a city with less than 5 thousand inhabitants spawn so many traitors? There is only one logical explanation: Satan is bringing their damned souls back from Hell, raising their rotting corpses and making them fight against God.

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Traitors, heathens and heretics and more traitors. The fight against the traitors may not be as difficult, but it is far more exhausting for sure.

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:M

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By the end of 1528, a new king is crowned as he father dies. Long Live Amalric III!

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DEATH TO TRAITORS MAY THEY ALL BURN IN HELL!

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Good thing Hell is limitless or it would soon get full and the damned would then walk upon Earth.

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This is what Jerusalem earned as thanks for their victories against heathens. The only reason they haven't yet broken with the Church is because this would allow all the traitor scum to find more recruits.

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Of course, to help with such a drastic measure, winning a very important DISCUSS! is obviously of critical importance.

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You criticize Jerusalem, take Jerusalem's gold and now want to drag Jerusalem in a futile war? Oh well, it's not like any of the involved countries can do much against Jerusalem.

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Seriously? Was the Papal State involved in this for the sake of croatioa? fukc the croatioa we have gold now because of tupac sus.

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Traitors spewing bullshit traitors traitors

TRAITORS!!! TRAITORS!!!

TRAITORS EVERYWHERE!

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Eventually the debate was won by (king)Conrad. Was any other result expected?

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Amalric great diplomatic skills continue to improve and make Jerusalem look better.

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The Kingdom of Jerusalem had a perfect opportunity to grow stronger thanks to the Reformation, and they didn't miss it, even if it mean more traitors to kill.

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Jerusalem has an army that is quite outdated compared to their neighbors, but slowly they are catching up.

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Another goatfucker priest gets a light sentence from the Church. News at 11.

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Probably more rebels rose than the entire population of Jerusalem at this point. Must be Satan raising corpses or something like that.

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In the year of the Lord of 1536, besides the colony of Morocco, the entirety of mainland Jerusalem now has a majority of Christians.

DEUS VULT!

With this, the last reason to maintain the Inquisition active has waned, and with much less heathens than before, they started picking up on recent converts, which didn't help at all with the popularity of JErusalem, giving more recruits for the traitors. While the Inquisition is also part of the reason why Jerusalem may face enemies with firearms while they are still stuck to bows, pikes and blades.

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Did the Papal State ever shown any gratitude for Jerusalem in more than one hundred years? No. Therefore, why should Jerusalem risk themselves in a war against the Eastern Rome?

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Another group that would probably mean trouble for long term plans is now extinct. The Knights Hospitaller have served Jerusalem admirably, but their independent leadership has proved itself strategically inept more than once, and thus they will be better serving Jerusalem directly.

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The Roman Empire is crushing the Papal State, and other vultures circled over their small empire in Africa. The Egyptians were among these vultures, and why should Jerusalem help them? They got claims on Cairo and if they grow too strong, in a bitter memory of what happened before, they could easily prove themselves as disloyal as the mongols, forsake Jerusalem and wage war for Cairo against their former allies. Southern Italy was already about to be taken by Rome, which now dreamed to make justice to their name by crushing the Pope and retaking the city of Rome itself.

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Later, the Timurids have lost a lot. Patriots claimed their lands back to Rome and Armenia, and other patriots continued undefeated over the man-crushing deserts of Jabal Shammar. The Timurids, like before, were again collapsing. There couldn't be better news for Jerusalem, precariously busy with endless waves of Moroccan traitors to fight a war right now.

Egypt however didn't take the refusal of Jerusalem to help their ambitious lightly.

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And by 1540, they began to show signs they were willing to cut off years of positive relations in one rapid act of dishonor. Now no longer the heathens, but the Orthodox, were becoming the greatest threat to Jerusalem.

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The Orthodox Roman Empire denounced the Holy Roman Empire as a falsity as they marched victoriously over Southern Italy, and the worst consequence of the defeat of the Pope was not over Italy, but over Africa, where unlike Jerusalem, they were failing to keep the traitors, heathens and other rebels under control. This could dangerously lead to the remaking of Algiers as a significant threat.

Also notice their land technology and then compared it with Jerusalem's.

However, there was one event that would once again require the best of the kingdom.

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The Copts have shown their true colors! No mercy for these traitors without honor! Were they hoping to drag out Jerusalem in a war only for this? They will pay for it! No niggers and Armenians will help them.

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Along the news of the war, Jerusalemite sailors from the Canaries reported that the once unsettled island of Madeira was being colonized by the Roman Empire. The purpose of such colonization was obvious and now rumors began to gain stronger foundations. Although the heathens and the limeys tried to keep it hush-hush, there was wild gossip on how both the Iberian Caliphate and Great Britain established colonies over the north and center of such vast lands to the west, and now the Eastern Roman Empire colonized Madeira, which is obviously for the purpose of using it as a base for the colonization of this still legendary New World. For many these were clear evidences there is a New World, one Jerusalem may eventually reach, if they ever manage to improve their economy and become advanced enough in their naval technology for such.

Although currently Jerusalem is fighting to defend the Levant, eventually, eventually, it is the New World that will define who will truly triumph over Europe and the Middle East.

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Unfortunately Jerusalem was powerful, but had one major disadvantage in this war.

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Being seriously backwards. Nevertheless, throughly superior courage and leadership, they shall prevail.

DEUS VULT!

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Cairo didn't take long to fall as the Egyptian forces launched a ruthless assault and arrogantly, despite weathered by this assault, they already marched onto Damientia, confident their superior technology would grant them victory. The crusaders fought bravely and demonstrated to these arrogant men that it takes more than better weapons to win a battle.

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And while Jerusalem armies were technologically backwards, they had, like Russians Lithuanian Hitmen, massive reserves, leading to a decisive victory as they now advanced to rout the near entirety of the Egyptian forces and begin sieges against all the cities of these miaphysite heretics and traitors.

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DEUS VULT!

And afterwards, a combination of diplomacy with the other foes and crushing sieges against Egypt has begun.

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The niggers could be easily crushed, but their lands were poor, and attrition would kill so many in a march towards them it wouldn't really be worth. Armenia, upon seeing how mighty Jerusalem was, accepted a White Peace, and soon Egypt was alone. Meanwhile, even during the war, a drastic decision would be taken.

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The backwardedness of Jerusalem was unacceptable, and the Inquisition was partly to blame. It was time to begin taking steps to utterly dissolve them now that their primary goal has been achieved.

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Jerusalem could snatch some land, but because they couldn't take Alexandria itself, it would be a waste of infamy. Instead, they had other plans on how to handle such a vile act of treason and ungratefulness shown by Egypt, simply because the only reason the towelheads didn't wipe their kingdom off the map was because of Jerusalem, and their owe their very existence to Jerusalem.

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No. They shall pay the price for their treason!

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In February of 1542, a very saddening report: the Gold Mines of Sus ran out. Considering the hotspot of traitors and rebels mainland Morocco was, besides being mostly dirt poor, many suggested selling all of it to Guyenne, but they were oblivious to how, for now, they needed these lands. Once Jerusalem sets sails to the New World, then perhaps it will be wise to sell such hovels, but right now, it isn't.

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After their entire army was annihilated, there was nothing left for Egypt but defeat after defeat. They have been crushed and humbled for their lack of honor, and now they will pay a high price for what they have done against Jerusalem.

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Bringing much prestige to Jerusalem, they have been forced to dismiss all their claims over Jerusalem and to forsake the miaphysite HERESY!

DEUS VULT!

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The traitors may be vast and numberful, the rebel durka durkas may try again and again, but they will never win. Jerusalem is Triumphant, and during the mid of this new century, a new era was beginning for the kingdom.

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Unfortunately TRAITORS caused the delay of this new age, but it would still happen soon, a proclamation of a new Jerusalem.

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Through the efforts of the excellent theologian of Jerusalem, Baldwin Hagedorn, the instability issues would be solved, and thus, everything was set at last, for this coming new age:

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LONG LIVE THE IMPERIUM OF JERUSALEM!

THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!

DEUS VULT!
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
BUMP for page 7

And yes, Iberia and Great Britain are already colonizing Amerikwa: Canada and the Lesser Antilles respectively. Oh great... Banana Sultanates.

:M
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Man, your inflation is killing you. Is it at least going down?

It is, when I can lower land maintenance, or in other words, when Jerusalem is at peace, something that was very seldom during the 15th century, which is why inflation now spiked up to 33% and I'm serious considering to risk an intentional bankrupcy as soon as nationalism ends in Morocco. Because like Greece, Jerusalem at this point would be better off "defaulting". On the other hand downsizing the army to a point where it could be kept at max maintenance without having to mint would just serve as an invitation for war and thus be futile. And this not counting the 12k strong stacks of patriot rebels that tend to spawn around Morocco.

Hopefully now there will be peace for long enough time, but even then, the pitiful 0.03%/year inflation decrease rate is pitiful, which is why bankrupcy and thus going down to around 20% inflation sounds a good idea, even if it's arguably gamey, the immediate bad consequences of bankrupcy aside.

This mod makes the coring take almost one century to happen(80 years), rather than 50 years like in vanilla, or event-driven with variations depending on culture/NIs/etc like in Magna Mundi. This seriously make rapid expansion a long term benefit with short to medium term penalties in research speed and stability recovery speed.

This mod also changed the "Commission painting" decision. It costs money now(not ridiculously expensive like in MM) and can't be spammed, and is more useful when you just need that 5% to reach 100% and such . Fortunately however, cultural tradition will always be on the rise even without NIs that increase it as long as you are at peace. So eventually I may get a level 6 master of mind to start helping things.

Also what a downer for that "gold mine runs out" event to have happened just a few years after the conquest of Morocco. I should definitively try to conquer a land path towards it so it won't be considered a colony and consume big/small ships for maximum tariff efficiency, or, in the easier and less inflation generating way, sell most of it except for the Canaries as soon as Jerusalem begins colonizing Kwa. To be honest the only reason I took most of Morocco was to ensure the heathens would pose no threat, so I may just do that if the infamy to conquer a path towards it would take ages to dissipate.
 

exe

Augur
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
359
Has Egypt so much better tech because they only got cores or because the AI is a cheating bitch?
 

TripJack

Hedonist
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
5,132
probably a mixture of cheating and all the income cassibro has had to waste on minting
 

exe

Augur
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
359
Wouldn't they have to mint a lot too, since they were one bad war from getting eaten?

Oh, need more bumps.
 

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