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Completed Let's play: GROM (Finished!)

Darth Roxor

Wielder of the Huegpenis
Staff Member
Joined
May 29, 2008
Messages
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Location
Djibouti
In today's episode of 'Games you've never heard about', I bring you...

cover.jpg


Grom is a... yeah, good question what is it. Guess you could call it an action RPG. Based in Tibet, it has us take the character Grom and various other people he meets on the road so we can stop evil Nazis who want to find ancient supertechnology! It generally has this pretty neat Indiana Jones-ish vibe.

Intro:

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OSNAP, NAZI AIRCRAFT

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Remember kids: ancient tibetans discovered rocketry

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Oh my.

grom0102.jpg


The curtains actually fold a little when you move the mouse pointer over them. Fun stuff.

grom0001.jpg


grom0002.jpg


grom.jpg
Leave it. Each run it only gets worse and worse. I get crazy when I only think about...

petr.jpg
So don't think, leave it to me. Take care of our safety, that will do.

grom.jpg
I've already spent one year in Tibet and I have enough of smuggling things through the mountains and listening to your promises that we'll be rich.

petr.jpg
What do you want?

grom0007.jpg


Grom is X-TREME. He also shares his name with the Polish Special Forces.

grom0008.jpg


WHEN SUDDENLY...

grom0009.jpg


grom0010.jpg


petr.jpg
What's the matter? What do you need the rifle for?

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Petr ducks and covers, while Grom first searches for the rifle...

grom0015.jpg


Then has to reload it...

grom0016.jpg


And to add insult to injury, it's jammed.

grom0017.jpg


Before he can get a clear shot, the zeppelin flies away.

grom0018.jpg


petr.jpg
What happened?

grom.jpg
Let's go. Demons of the past have come back. We must go now.

grom0021.jpg


Right, we gain control.

grom0022.jpg


Here's Grom's inventory.

grom0023.jpg


His bio

grom0024.jpg


'Diplomacy cards' he can use. I'll get back to them when we actually have to use them.

grom0025.jpg


And his skillz in weaponry

grom0026.jpg


grom0027.jpg


Skills increase through usage. The higher the skill, the more damage you do, and firearms are less likely to jam.

grom0028.jpg


Petr's stuff. The blunderbuss he carries can be deadly, but ammo to it is scarce.

grom0029.jpg


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And the yak. The yak is pretty much the same thing as the mule in Dungeon Siege. A fat backpack on four legs.

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Nothing we can do here, so let's just leave.

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Our destination.

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And our location.

grom0038.jpg


Let us travel to the checkpoint, then...

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Or not.

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Filthy bandits are blocking the path!

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petr.jpg
There are too many of them. We won't get out alive.

grom.jpg
Don't worry. We'll figure something out.

grom0044.jpg


Some of the bandit boys pull back.

grom0045.jpg


We order the yak to stay where it is, as in combat it's nothing but target practice for the enemy.

grom0046.jpg


After which we order our bros to lie down to sneak past the lookout.

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There's some stuff glimmering in that ravine, so we better get it first.

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This guy we better eliminate without the use of firearms, as to not alert the others.

This means...

grom0049.jpg


Gangbanging him with fists and sharp, pointy objects.

Also, health: when you take damage, some of it you need to heal with food/medkits (that's the green bar), but other will quickly regenerate (the red bar)

grom0050.jpg


The shiny objects were a couple of knives and grenades. Excellent.

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Fire in the hole!

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Contrary to popular belief, a single grenade is not enough to eliminate a bandit, so we have to finish him off with the rifle.

grom0053.jpg


Then his buddy.

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And his buddy's buddy.

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Then those two.

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And last are these two swordsmen.

But as one wise man would say...

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Don't take swords to an artillery range :smug:

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As you can see, the grenades do a lot of 'temporary' damage, so we should eliminate them quickly before they regenerate hp (lololo popamole)

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This means, again, gangbanging them with sharp objects.

Although when doing this, you have to be careful about friendly fire because your dumbfucks tend to sword themselves instead of the enemy.

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The pass is clear. Grom took many hits, though.

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Time to heal up.

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Let's resume the journey and hope nothing happens this time.

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Splendid.

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Leave it alone, man, we played fair.

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*reloads the rifle* Don't make me angry, give me my money back.

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Maybe we can settle it somehow? Maybe we'll play once again? You can win.

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You've got ten seconds before I shoot.

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Let me check in my notebook if I have your name written down. But beware of my wrath if it isn't there!

eh?

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Oh dear...

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Grom, do something. This crazy man won't let us through.

grom.jpg
I'll move aside in case he misses :smug:

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Listen, I've got lots of china. I can give you one vase, you'll get plenty of cash for it.

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I don't care about your pots, you've got a few seconds left.

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A wild officer appears.

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I just stopped...

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What are you talking about? Your shoes are dirty and the gun is sticky with mud! Go to the barracks and polish everything up! On the double!

Officer uses abuse of power

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Yes sir!

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It's super effective!

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I nearly died here, and you sweetly ask me if I've got it! Sure I've got it, but if you don't keep these crazy men far away from me the price will be higher!

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All right, all right. Give me the egg.

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Slowly, business first.

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Surely. Have you anything to declare?

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The customs check is finished

:thumbsup:

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We saw a nazi zeppelin on the track. Do you know anything about it?

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The Nazis? Here? Thousands of kilometres from their hideout? No, that's impossible. You must have been hallucinating.

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I'm sure of it. I'll recognise these signs anywhere. Besides, I feel their presence here. The presence of death.

Cryptic.

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I'd surely get some information from headquarters. I don't have anything like that on my desk. Petr, give me the egg!

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Do you think that if Her Majesty Intelligence knew anything, they would tell such a corruptible guy as our brave lieutenant?

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At least they should warn him to enhance their fighting strength.

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If he knew that he is in danger, he would pack his things and disappear somewhere in China. He wasn't sent here for his noble actions on the battlefield. Or maybe you really hallucinated. It could be some kind of mirage. Tibet is a country of miracles, you could see what you wanted to see. Why think about the past? The war is in Europe. We stay here quietly and earn money. We save for our future, stop thinking about those damn Nazis.

grom.jpg
Things have happened to me that I can't forget and I won't change that by escaping somewhere far away.

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Let's move on. This is not my dream. We'll sell part of the goods in Bart's Den and my mood will improve.

grom0101.jpg

This is it. The first city on our path to glory (there won't be many). We'll also stop here for now. We shall investigate the possibilities of fedex questing and money hoarding in the next update.
 
Last edited:

Black Cat

Magister
Joined
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Messages
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Skyrim .///.
Grom's pretty cool, alright. It's really cheesy and fun, and weird, and a good Indiana Jones spoof. The last section alone is worth the journey to get there.
 

SoupNazi

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Strap Yourselves In Serpent in the Staglands
Petr is a p. cool guy as he is also Czech. :smug:

I think this game was bundled with some games mag before but it looked so shitty and banal shit boring that I never bothered to try it out. If the LP is good I might as well dig it up, we'll see.
 

Darth Roxor

Wielder of the Huegpenis
Staff Member
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Djibouti
SoupNazi said:
Petr is a p. cool guy as he is also Czech. :smug:

I think this game was bundled with some games mag before but it looked so shitty and banal shit boring that I never bothered to try it out. If the LP is good I might as well dig it up, we'll see.

It gets especially awesome later on, when futuristic nazis and hindu demons start appearing :smug:
 

Derper

Prophet
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Aaaargh
Looks great! Do continue.
 

KalosKagathos

Learned
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Location
Russia
Oh gods, I remember this one. Except I don't. I think I managed to get pretty far in it before getting bored, and I think I fought a fire demon with nothing but a knife to get into a monastery at some point, but it's all very fuzzy.
 

Azira

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Codex 2012
:thumbsup: Never completed this game myself, looking forward to following this LP. :love:
 

Cenobyte

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Feb 13, 2010
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Location
Japan
Never heard of this game, but looks interesting. Moar please!
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
9,270
Never heard of it, does it feature tasteful rape/good writing? Is the combat turn-based?
 

Darth Roxor

Wielder of the Huegpenis
Staff Member
Joined
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Messages
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Location
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lightbane said:
Never heard of it, does it feature tasteful rape/good writing? Is the combat turn-based?

No rape that I know of.

Good writing... uh, well, I would say that it's okay, but mostly it's just pretty goofy (which I don't mind at all, serious business is for suckers), although keep in mind that while I played through this game like thrice, each time was the Polish version, which was, I think, the original one, so there might be a lot of... good stuff in the English translation (such as the 'feel my wrath' line, for instance). But I especially like the 'historical fantasy' setting of this game, I must say.

Combat is GRTC - gigantic real time clusterfuck, which only makes it more amusing :smug: especially when you have like 4 party members and gangbang enemies with knives and swords.
 

SoupNazi

rial billionaire
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Strap Yourselves In Serpent in the Staglands
Is it fully voiced? I wonder how do Americans (or whoever did English voice acting) pronounce Petr.
 

Darth Roxor

Wielder of the Huegpenis
Staff Member
Joined
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SoupNazi said:
Is it fully voiced? I wonder how do Americans (or whoever did English voice acting) pronounce Petr.

Not fully. Some dialogues are voiced, others are not.

The English soldier just called him 'Peter', as in, the English version of Peter, with the long ee sound.
 

Luzur

Good Sir
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Swedish Empire
why nazis? should have been better and more fitting with Chinese or Soviets.

somesort of polish butthurt game?
 

Darth Roxor

Wielder of the Huegpenis
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Brother None said:
Roxxor you know the crayzeest awesome games

Verdammt :/

Luzur said:
why nazis? should have been better and more fitting with Chinese or Soviets.

somesort of polish butthurt game?

No, it wouldn't have been more fitting. After all, Nazis were the stereotypical occult bastards seeking all kinds of holy grails and spears of destiny. I generally don't like this new 'trend' of making Soviets the new Nazis in just about all media.
 

Darth Roxor

Wielder of the Huegpenis
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Time to initiate a lot of wonky-written dialogues.

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First, with this guy.

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It's ok.

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Yeaahh... hmmm...

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Hmmm... Yeaahh...

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So, how is your uncle Tongda?

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Uncle Tongda? Mm... cool... mmm... you know, geranium grew in his garden!

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Are you kidding? At 6000 meters? On the rocks? That's amazing!

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Yeah... mmm, amazing.

:thumbsup:

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Nice weather today.

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The nature is graceful for us, but we must take care that our actions do not spoil such a beautiful day.

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On the track I saw monks who changed the weather with their wizardry. Very impressive.

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Black magic. You cannot deal with such things. It's forbidden.

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Forbidden? Maybe you could show me something? I'll pay well.

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I won't change the weather. Besides, it's clearly forbidden.

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I'll show you something that probably won't offend the gods and demons of this place, but it will freeze the blood in your veins. This is the stone of monks.

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Sounds promising.

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The power that drives life on Earth is invisible and difficult to control. They key to making miracles is control over this power. Thanks to many years of meditation, monks can do that. They can walk on water, fly like birds, cure all illnesses. You can name their power for hours. Ordinary people have no access to this knowledge. But nothing is lost! For the sake of social expectations, I prepared something that can be used by anybody. Make your own miracle! This is my motto. I went to the monastery and I asked the monks if they want to cooperate with me. We closed miracles in stones in order to be able to keep them for a longer while.

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That's pretty amazing.

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I've got a few kinds of stones. Which ones do you want to buy?

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This stuff is pretty much a glorified medkit. Its cost is also pretty preposterous, and since we can find 7 of them by pillaging the local houses, I say screw this guy.

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How was the last journey? Without surprises? Times are uneasy now, there are lots of smugglers and bandits on the track. Hah!

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Greetings to the brave team that guards the Empire's borders. I hope that you barred the door for the night. There are people out there who could kidnap you. So, ladies. A little bet who scores better at the shooting gallery?

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Yup, you can actually choose what NPCs will say in certain dialogues.

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Holy words, soldier. I hope you have enough of it because this time I don't accept any drafts. Cash, ladies, cash.

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How confident he is! First show us that you have cash so that we don't have to take stinking rags off of you.

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All right, enough of this small talk.

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Since we are X-TREME, we, of course, choose the hardest 'diffuculty'.

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This is pretty simple. Target dummies pop up, shoot them before they go down. Get 11 hits and win.

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Oh wow, you get a total of 3 pounds per hit. The ammo I shot was probably more valuable than this. Oh well.

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Let's plunder the houses.

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Yeah, pretty much each one looks like this. Some random loot thrown about, and that's all. Won't be posting screens of other empty houses because they only differ in loot.

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In one of them, however, we find brawling soldiers.

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Pff! We can take on every sucker they give us! Let's beat the crap out of the toughest one.

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This is like The Witcher all over again.

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Uh, shit.

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This didn't go exactly as planned...

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What? No one said that they are fighting to the death!

These soldiers are pretty extreme...

Yeah, screw them, let's keep exploring further.

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... o_O

Whips and latex distributed equally?

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Yeah, this is some pretty easy cash. Keep dropping to the ground each time he throws a knife and win 50 gold. If you are hit three times, you lose. It does get boring after the first minute, though.

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Around the corner is a filthy bandit. Bastard has a blunderbuss, just like Petr - this stuff can do even 120 damage at point blank range. The downside is, obviously, the very short range, and the fact that you have to reload after every shot.

We should be extra careful, right?

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Naaaaaaah :smug: Thing is, when we bumrush him with two melee attackers, he gets pretty much stunlocked and can't do shit. This is like Gothic 3 all over again. Plus, most firearms also have a minimal range, so if enemies get too close, you can only hit them with the rifle butt.

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Now, what is this guy's problem?

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I cannot deal with this animal any longer! It is the worst one of the whole herd!

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You are a breeder and you can't handle one yak?!

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I am not a breeder. My job is subjugating yaks.

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What?

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This is my family's profession. My father passed the secrets of this trade to me and I will pass them to my children. It has been going on like this for dozen generations.

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Why do you stand in place and wave your arms instead of catching the animal and bringing it back to the herd?

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I do that to soften its psyche. Without doing that, you can't get it to do anything.

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Leave it alone. You call it a method?! It will never come to you if you continue to wave your arms like a madman!

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I'll show you how it's done.

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Yeah, it's pretty simple.

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Go down.

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Approach and stand up.

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Well, you were right. But there is a little 'but'.

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What? Have I hurt the yak's self-respect?

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No, nothing like that. But you had to run around and I just stayed in place. The yak would have come to me anyway.

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Okay, use your own techniques then. Good luck.

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Take it easy, newcomer. I really appreciate your attempt here. I'll give you a present. I don't have many valuable things, but you can choose anything from my rucksack.

grom0218.jpg


Wow... yeah, that's a really fucking generous reward. Yes it is. Although the task wasn't exactly hard either, and iirc, we'll be doing it later a few times, so this was like basic training.

Whatev.

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Thanks man, but I want to live for some time yet. If you clean these rooms sometime in the future, maybe I'll give it a try. Right now, I'm afraid something might attack me.

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What are you talking about? I clean this room up frequently! Unfortunately, the local climate is a problem.

blablabla, they talk about the 'himalayan whistle eggs' that Petr is smuggling for the lieutenant. Turns out they are worth thousands of pounds back in London, and Petr had no idea about it.

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Mr Grom, I have very important information for you! Please come to me before you leave, we'll talk.

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No! No! All the grace of the Queen smiles on me soon after their pay day. The brave army drinks up all of the stock of my whisky and my heart is happy and filled with love.

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Have you got anything for me?

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There is a little commission. I heard that it pays very well.

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Go on, a little bonus to my salary won't hurt.

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Let's go to the back room. These walls have ears, there we can talk.

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If it concerns only you, why do you tell me about it?

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Take it easy, mr Grom. It's not only me who gets paid here. You'll get the bigger part of it.

grom.jpg
I know you. If you say I get the bigger part, I'm suspicious. What is the job?

bart.jpg
I don't know exactly, but the matter is interesting enough, and I can feel big money there. In Upshi town there is a man called Olivier. A European. He is said to control everything that yields cash in that place forgotten by gods. Olivier sent a message that he is looking for a suitable man for a very difficult task. He pays a lot, but as far as I know, nobody has managed to complete this task yet. Nobody has returned alive from the mission. It is said that people from the neighbouring villages found their mutilated bodies. Somebody found a head with eyes poked out and tongue torn out.

grom.jpg
Sounds interesting. Why do you think I will succeed?

bart.jpg
I know you well enough to know that a warrior as you will not get his head cut off easily.

grom.jpg
It is easy for you to say that. It's not you who's risking his head. How can I find Olivier?

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It's hard to find him. He's very paranoid. He has his people in the town and only they can tell you where to meet him. I know a man who can help you. He's a beggar. He always stands by the wall next to the carpet shop. Tell him that I sent you and he will take you to Olivier.

grom.jpg
What's his name?

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He is called Stinking Milk of Yak.

That's promising.

grom.jpg
I wonder why...

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The answer is simple. When you talk to him...

grom.jpg
That's enough. I've got good imagination, I can guess the rest. Let's talk business. How much do you want?

bart.jpg
Well, well, well. How much can I want? Mr Grom, my person is so unimportant here. Let's say it's a little sum of maybe 20% of the whole.

grom.jpg
20%?! For the name of Stinking Milk of Yak?! I'd die first!

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What shall I get if you die? Nothing.

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AWWWWright, boys and girls. Time to use diplomacy.

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We have those two cards. We can choose a deck of as many cards as we have, that is, two. We can either take one of each, or take multiple ones, while leaving out some others.

Our current cards are 'X-TREME' and 'BUTTHURT'

grom0288.jpg


Then you use your cards against the enemy's. The one who needs to give money starts, so we start here.

grom0289.jpg


As you can see, the cheating faggot Bart has more cards than we do. He also used a better one, which made the price go up.

grom0290.jpg


But then he picks the same card we did, which makes it go down again to 20% (although not visible on the screen 'cause I took it too soon)

Generally, responding with the same cards is either disaster or stalemate. Some cards counter certain ones better than others. Just a shame that I forgot almost all of the combinations...

grom0291.jpg


Yeah, we negotiated no change. That's rich.

You can also buy/sell stuff at Bart's, but for this I bring Petr, since he has more cards.

grom0294.jpg


His goods are mostly junk, so I only sell all the whisky and porcelain from the yak.

grom0295.jpg


Petr has two more cards: the 'dun care' one.

grom0296.jpg


And 'beg for cock'.

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This time, Bart is the 'buyer', so he starts. I should have recalled that the 'dun care' card is nearly useles...

grom0298.jpg


Oops..

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Uh... shit.

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Fortunately, the butthurt card makes the price skyrocket, so in the end, we actually made 18 gold of profit.

grom0301.jpg


We leave the frontier town, time to head for Upshi.

grom0302.jpg


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Surprise, surprise.

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Bandits again.

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One of them has a sawn-off. Its damage is worse than the blunderbuss, but you can fire twice before reloading.

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Also, friendly fire: Petr's shot might have taken down the bandit, but it also instagibbed Grom. Oops :M

When characters fall down, they are incapacitated for a while, and you have to wait for them to regenerate a part of their hp. However, if they go down again soon afterwards, they die, game over.

grom0307.jpg


DAMMIT, PETR, SHOOT FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

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Yeah... the blunderbuss got jammed. Sweet dreams!

grom0309.jpg


Grom regains conciousness.

grom0310.jpg


And dies soon afterwards. Hello, jamming rifle. ffs.

But we reload, and this time take out the bandits without a scratch. Trick is, pretty much, to snipe stuff with Grom, and when enemies get close, Petr's AI fires buckshot up their arses. Characters in 'defensive' stance return fire and attack enemies when they get close enough.

grom0311.jpg


This guy appears.

grom0312.jpg


dakpa.jpg
They kidnapped me! They wanted me to work as a slave on a tea plantation somewhere in India!

grom.jpg
What's your name?

dakpa.jpg
They call me Dakpa, but this is not my real name. I hide it from the tongues of people so that demons don't know where I am.

grom.jpg
Join us, we go to Upshi.

dakpa.jpg
You've got a lifelong friend in me.

grom.jpg
All right, all right. Let's get out of this place before someone puts an end to our friendship.

grom0320.jpg


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grom.jpg
A city on the roof of the world. A magical place full of friendly people.

petr.jpg
Did you hide the money well?

grom.jpg
You are not very romantic.

petr.jpg
What did you say? Ah... yes, a magic place. Very often money disappears here. Sometimes even people.

grom.jpg
Let's go on before I start shooting at everybody I meet.

dakpa.jpg
Once again I thank you for saving me. If I have enough strength, I'll always help you. Thank you and goodbye.

grom.jpg
Goodbye and be careful... friend. You saw that? There are still noble people in the world, who appreciate friendship and honour.

petr.jpg
You'd better check that he didn't steal anything from us.

He might have not stolen anything from us... but I, however, cleared out his backpack before we left the bandit area :smug:

Regardless, this is not the last time we meet Dakpa.

grom.jpg
I can't listen to you anymore.

petr.jpg
You think that I can listen to you...

grom0335.jpg


There we are. Upshi. Another promising town full of promising people. We'll investigate it closely another time.

Yeah, I know this game starts a little slow, but the meat pretty much comes once we leave Upshi (which should be in the next update), so hang on.
 
Last edited:

Cenobyte

Prophet
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,117
Location
Japan
Oh lol, this card minigame is really cheesy :lol:
 

Sceptic

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
10,818
Divinity: Original Sin
This entire game is really cheesy. I approve :thumbsup:

Though from your description of combat clusterfuck it looks more fun to watch than play.
 

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