Completed Let's Play Medieval: Total War - and win without having any wars - Strategic Map Use Expert Edition

[IncendiaryDevice]

It's quite difficult to find much about this game on-line and since this is one of my favourite games of yore I feel it my duty to provide a historical manuscript for all times.

Total War is just about the real-time 1000 unit combat, right? There's nothing else to it really... is there? Why, yes, young padawan, it is quite possible to play Medieval: Total War almost entirely from the strategic map, and I'm not talking about simply pressing Auto-Resolve Combat options.

The following Let's Play will provide both a walkthrough and an all-round game retrospective which will delve into every nook and cranny of the game to deliver something truly awe-inspiring as I attempt to attain a Victory Condition in a Total War game by means of almost purely strategic map manoeuvring.

So whatever you're after, whether it be power knowledge, hints and tips, how to's, what's whats or just plain ol' entertainment, this is the place to be. I do not hype unduly. I will supply action from every turn in the game, no turn will be wasted, however long it takes to post 224 turns, I shall dedicate myself to this task. Come turn 224 you'll never view the game the same way again...

So... without any further ado...

Let's Play Medieval: Total War !

Turn 1:

Select Single Player:

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Select New Campaign, Difficulty Normal (yes, the challenge is left open to leave room for other players to one-up this Let's Play on harder settings, I have simply not tried yet):

Spoiler

Although 'my' game doesn't start until the High Period (1205 onwards), I'm going to start the game in the Early Period in order to have the optimum status the moment the High Period comes round:

Spoiler

This method requires a Catholic civilisation (as far as I know). My favourite civilisation for this method of play is the Sicilians. You'll note the text here which suggests starting as the Sicilians is equivalent to starting on a harder difficulty setting. Hardcores please breathe a sigh of relief, though that was not my motivation, I just like the positioning and starting pieces:

Spoiler

Which ain't much!

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First things first, see that grey pointer triangle next to the minimap? give it a tap and turn those infuriating tooltips off

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Click on the boat, we start with two you see, but in this game your troops can only move via the sea if there's a boat in port and you have a Port building, so let's get that second boat into Malta's port so that our King isn't trapped like caged bird:

Spoiler

Next up, let's waste no time here, let's get our emissary to go bribe that piddling little Byzantine army in Naples:

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Our princess has a restless vag, she should start looking for a princely K'nob:

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Hmmm, taxes... gimme all you got...

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The Scroll of governorship is a waste to waste, let's appoint a reputable Hilar'ump by giving them the scroll:

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But wait... governors effect happiness... I suppose I ought to see if my people are happy with their new governors *groan*:

Spoiler

Let's get building! Most people start with a Watchtower, and in 99.5% cases this is correct. However, I wan't a Trading Post in Sicily yesterday and there won't be any assassins this early in the game, so I'm not building any just yet. Also, meh, who needs soldiers, I want boats... Also I'd like to apologise for Sicily's build screen showing over Malta, I was learning as I went with my screenies and it's wont happen again (or else).

Spoiler

Wow, nearly done for the first turn, just time to check some useful screens that's it's worth getting used to checking regularly as with no male heirs, it's game over and with no money, it's game boredom:

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Holy moly, did I just post all of that :D I can't believe this is just the first turn.

When does it get gud?

Oh, it will, don't you worry.

Also, you are welcome to play along, copy for copy, move for move (just don't create a full Let's Play within a Let's Play, that'd be way too mindfucking).

So is this a go? Do I have any votes of approval? Any anticipation for what all the hype is about? Tickled any erogenous zones in any way whatsoever?

I hope so... only another 223 turns to go! (don't worry, some turns just have 1 screenie).

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 2-7:

Spoiler

Turn 2:

Alas, those greedy Byzantines want more money:

This is an outrage. However, I'm quite happy to raise the amount to what they ask, fair's fair I suppose. Alas again, they still refuse This opening bribe is a bit of a 50/50 chance, sometimes you get it sometimes you don't. For future reference it's always best to bribe an army with at least two Emissaries for this reason, you get more shots at the random:

Failure to bribe someone will usually garner them the following annoying trait:

There's only one thing for it!

Hey, wait a minute... didn't you say there'd be no declaring of war in this game? Yes, yes I did. Firstly, this will be it for a very long time and, secondly, just you wait... all will be revealed as time goes by. Anyway, enough of the chatter, there's a battle to fight:

Move all units except the Peasants, which we'll leave in Sicily, into Naples:

Don't forget to alter those taxes, wouldn't want any rebellions to take place while the King's away at play. Sicily is fine with those peasants keeping everyone happy, but Malta needs some adjustment:

Ok, we're ready.

Turn 3:

I see you on that ridge over there:

What fun, his Naptha Throwers have been drawn out by my tempting horses:

Now, let's encircle those rather powerful Byzantine Infantry:

( ^ Taking screenies seems to knock out the troop pictures ^ )

Now let's run-em down, every last one of them, gotta get'em all, and don't forget to press that nice red button with the dagger when you've done it:

Hooray, we've taken our first territory:

Uh-oh, looks like I forgot to press the dagger button, guess I'll have to take the money, if you insist:

Well, this IS supposed to be a non-aggressive method afterall.

Let's hope we have enough troops left to keep Naples happy when we ram that taxation down to it's lowest possible level:

Oh joy, just enough if I bring in those peasants from Sicily:

And reduce Sicily's taxation, because that one has room to manoeuvre:

Naples will build... dun-dun-dah... a Watchtower:

And we're good to move on.

Turn 4:

A Watchtower not only gives protection against assassins, it also provides an immediate boost to happiness:

Allowing us to move our Governators back to Sicily:

And put Sicily back to maximum taxation:

Naples will now build a Border Fort, which has a similar effect again:

Oh, nearly forgot, let's keep that Princess and Emissary working for now:

And we're done for this turn (though I could have moved my boat this turn, I forgot. I forgot, ok. Ok, ok, ok, I get it, I forgot already...

Turn 5:

Well thanks a lot Mr. Popey pope on a soap on a rope, like I wanted to be friends anyway...

I shall console myself by showing Mr. no-sex man an bouncing baby fruit of my loins:

Let's see if they can get better luck from the Italians:

That border fort has allowed me to adjust Naples' taxes a notch upwards:

Remember that new boat? I know, I know, I just did. Time to start linking up other ports:

And take a minute to build one unit of peasants, the last land-based military unit Sicily will build:

And give Malta its Watchtower:

Naples will be my military centre, all buildings in Naples will prioritise land-based military units. Naples will be my wall:

Time for an end-turn.

Turn 6:

No kings in Venice, and I got no objections when I asked the Princess if she wanted to go and check-out Milan, surprisingly enough:

With Sicily having produced the peasants I can now send Malta's governor back to Malta:

Which mean, combined with the new Watchtower, Malta can go back to full taxation:

And those new peasants have quite good Acumen skills, I think I'll swap them with my peasants in Naples:

And give him Naples' governorship, even if it does mean a short-term reduction in taxes:

And Sicily can get back to what it does best in this game, build another boat:

A Border Fort for Malta:

Onwards to turn 7:

Turn 7:

Like a fine cheese, the next in line to the throne matures, and we can relax for a few more turns:

Aw, he's a Chinless Wonder, bless his cotton socks:

Our princess is delighted to offer her hand in marriage to the Italian king, she's full of surprises:

Naples can immediately raise its tax up a bit. they're growing to like us there, you know:

Malta will be our primary strategic unit hub, all it's building will prioritise to this:

And we're done. (for this post as I was intrrupted and the post post button got initiated in the confusion. 8-10 in next post.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 8-10

Spoiler

Turn 8:

The outrage, my Princess has been denied. Well... really:

Naples can increase its tax yield again already:

Nothing else to do here but move on.

Turn 9:

A very important aspect of M:TW is boat chaining. Troops can only move from land area to land area if there are connecting boat chains between ports. An army can move into a territory if that territory doesn't have a port, it is just stuck there until a port is built. Strategic units can go wherever there's a port, but they cannot land on a non-ported territory even with a boat chain. If your territory has Tradable Goods and a Trading Post then you will get exponential increases in trade with every connected port, the connection being the crucial element, ie: the boat chain being the crucial element, even one single hostile boat or one gap in the chain will disrupt your trade significantly.

So let's get those boats out there and chain another one:

And get Sicily to build another:

Naples wants some units like a dog wants a bone, so best get building the prerequisites:

And job done.

Turn 10:

Naples is getting happier every day:

And that's the first 10 turns wrapped up. See y'all tomorrow for more

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 11-20:

Spoiler

Turn 11:

Excellent, Naples can go to Very High already:

Hmmm, spearmaker's I think:

And let's start building some real military. Just a couple mind, let's not lose our heads:

Turn 12:

It turns out the Italian Doge was just playing love games, he does want my princess after all, what a Doge that guy is, lol, I like him, he's silly:

The next boat is ready already, wow, these things breed like rabbits:

I wonder what units I'll build in Sicily next... Hmmm... I know, another boat:

Turn 13:

Awesome, my first alliance, may it be the first of many. Remember way back in turn 2 or 3 when we invaded the Byzantines? Well, there's been no peace declared and yet, upon discovering their wider empire in Greece, it seems they've forgotten all about it. So, technically, we didn't declare war on anyone. It was no different to tackling a nation of Independents/Rebels. I think you have to take Naples before 'real' contact is made for this to work, hence my impatience to take the territory and why my first tow boats went round the left of Italy:

I don't want my army to have to travel to Sicily to go anywhere, so time to build a port there while I build lots of spearmen (4 to be exact):

OMG, it's time to build a Trading Post in Sicily, I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it:

Turn 14:

Ack! Famine in Malta, there's nothing to do but watch people starve to death

(So it's wise to check their happiness level as I bet this makes a lot of people unhappy...)

Turn 15:

An important reason to keep building in this game is because the benefits are most rewarding:

Combined with the famine ending (all disaster messages are single turn only and can include Floods, earthquakes etc, some of which also have the chance to destroy buildings) Malta is now lovely and happy again:

Another boat is ready, time to go chain to those ports in the port-loaded Adriatic:

Wow, look at that, Sicily's income has doubled already. Nooooow we can take a minute to build a Watchtower...

... and another boat, of course:

I'm going to employ a lot of Emissaries in this game, and you get those by building a Royal Palace, so that's what Malta will build next:

Turn 16:

Remember the King got that builder trait? Well, when the king gets a trait it has a global effect and effects every single province. On top of this, all leaders of stacks have the chance to gain traits each turn, but these won't be global but local, effecting either just themselves in battle, their stack or, if they are a governor, their specific territory. Our governor of Sicily has just received his first trait, and it's positive, yay!

Border fort for Sicily, and just look at that income boost just for moving that boat into the adriatic:

Remember we left our Emissary in Venice to twiddle his thumbs? Well, it's a dangerous world out there and assassins are no doubt being produced as we speak, so best to take him home to our unit safe-house, Malta:

Turn 17:

Producing our first Royal Palace will give us a new bonus scroll to increase the positive traits of any governor of your choosing (cannot be given to Royals, just as no scrolls of governorship can be given to Royals). This one gives acumen and loyalty. Acumen increases income. So I think our man in Sicily is up for a promotion!

Meaning that Sicily has now already tripled its income... and we're still to build a Trading Post upgrade... let's build a Merchant:

Malta is now ready to produce Emissaries and would be best utilised by producing boats for when there's a gap in unit production. A Shipwright is required to build boats:

The defencive stack in Naples is really starting to look like a real stack. Diversity is important though, what with all that rock, paper, scissors stuff going on on the battlefields. Let's build an Archery building in Naples:

Turn 18:

Another boat to chain, another port to snag:

And what shall I build in Sicily next? ... aw, c'mon, it's easy... you must know by now...

And I think a couple more Emissaries in Malta:

Turn 19:

While Naples builds a couple of Archers it can take a breather to build a basic Trading Post to give that income a good shove in the right direction:

Turn 20:

Emissaries have many roles, they are an all-round diplomat. Our son and heir needs a wife, so he can start producing heirs in the M:TW unknown ether before being crowned king. Forgetting to get him married somewhere between 25-30 years old leaves a much higher chance of shafting your own empire and game. So let's send our Emissary out on a hunt for pussy:

See you soon!

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 21-30

Spoiler

Turn 21:

Computer says noooo:

More positive news on the attributes front as Malta's governor gets the Thinker triat, increasing his acumen, and my dosh:

Our boat chain can now start extending beyond our close vicinity:

Naples is all done for the Fort stage and now requires a Keep to gain access to better military units. I'll build 4 more units there while I'm at it, just to be on the safe side:

Sicily is becoming quite the trading power house, let's keep pushing that advantage and establish a Merchant's Guild there. I'm fairly confident Naples can sustain any troop requirements now, so, what the heck, let's fill up Sicily with boat orders:

Malta can't join in the trading, as it has no tradeable goods, so I'd better improve their farming output to raise their income. I also don't need any more Emissaries at this point so Malta shall join the boat spamming for now:

Maybe this princess over here feels ready to commit?

Turn 22:

Yay! Let the humping commence:

Turn 23:

More positive traits have been earned:

Malta is free to push for better crops at the moment:

Turn 24:

Now that I have 2 territories building boats, and I have boat chains heading in two different directions, I can start extending the boat chains at both ends:

Turn 25:

Let's take a minute just to take pride in the nice big stack of troops we've put together in Naples. You'll notice the Great Builder trait increases on the builder trait by adding additional global loyalty, this is excellent for helping to prevent civil wars. He's a bit old though and will probably die soon, having a new king suddenly arrive with no similar traits can give you a lot of nervous years at the start of a new king's reign with regards to global loyalty:

Turn 26:

While we've been busy doing stuff over the last few turns, we've been being discovered by other nation's Emissaries, and most of them wanted alliances, which I heartily agreed to:

And don't forget to keep an eye on that money... Ooo, I see Sicily is now producing quadruple it's original income and out net profit is almost the same as Sicily's income:

Turn 27:

Steward is another excellently positive trait and I think has a chance relation to building Improved Farmland, so hooray for my Governor:

Ooo, goody goody, more boats to chain:

And more Farmland to improve:

Turn 28:

How quick was that, Sicily is now worth 5 times it's original income, as is my income:

Turn 29:

Naples wants to start it's new Keep level tech-tree with an Armourer, because you don't want to upgrade all your troops both before and after building the Armourer. Sicily will try and squeeze in another quick Framland improvement:

Turn 30:

And to cap this block of 10 turns off, what better than watching the boat chains extend even further:

Turns 31-40 incoming very soon.

 

[laclongquan]

No international happenings?

 

[SmartCheetah]

Ahh, Medieval 1 portraits <3

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

No international happenings?

Please can you be more specific.

 

[Tigranes]

So it's a no-wars playthrough except you declared war, and after that it's been How To Play MTW: The Manual. Presumably you're just going to bribe the shit out of everybody, but I wouldn't mind if you moved faster (unless you want to dwell on each turn).

 

[Athos]

Is this a Steam version? If yes, does it run well on modern systems? I've read several complaints.

Also, dafuq, I didn't remember Sicilians starting without southern Italy.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 31-40

Spoiler

Turn 31:

Good heavens, our king is remarkably old for this game, the Papacy must be low on Assassins at this point in the game:

Sicily and our income is now almost 7 times it's original total:

Turn 32:

How are those alliances coming along?

Turn 33:

Sicily's governor now gets the awesome Steward trait:

More boat chaining I say, more:

Naples is almost ready to upgrade its army, just a Spearmaker's Workshop to go:

Sicily wants... a church. Yes, you heard that right, a church:

And Malta is going to push for the max 80%:

Turn 34:

If the Pope doesn't get him, I suspect my heir is going to start plotting himself:

Sicily is now worth 8 times it's original value and, for the first time, the net total is outstripping Sicily's. I would say we now don't even need to think about how much anything will cost to build:

Turn 35:

The alliances are trotting along well:

Turn 36:

Have you noticed, I do get so excited about these boat chains, another set:

Ohhhhh crap! crap, crap, crap. The Pope has Inquisitors already and I've yet to build any Assassins in Malta yet:

To protect myself in the short-term I'm going to place a Prince in any stack with a Governor. Inquisitors are great at executing stack-leaders, but terrible at executing Royals. Putting a greater stack-leader than a governor into a stack with a governor will, however, prevent the governor getting more random traits. Lucky we'd already just built up the basic positive ones...

Sicily and Malta need to restack their boat queue already, awesome:

Turn 37:

Naples is now ready to upgrade, the Feudal Sergeants have arrived. I'll have 4 of those please maggy while I build an upgrade to the Town Watch:

Sicily will, however, build a Monastery:

Turn 38:

Now this is good news. You remember how Sicily started with so little? In just 38 turns we have been awarded:

Now, Naples doesn't want a huge hoard of soldiers eating into our finances for no good reason, so, for now, each new recruit will literally replace it's already existing old version. For each new Feudal Sergeant I shall disband one old Spearman, starting with the ones with the lowest loyalty:

Turn 39:

He's finally kicked the bucket:

More famine in Malta (hmmm, the irony after building so much Farmland improvements):

Our heir is already 48, I doubt he'll get much of a reign. Lol, he has an odd number of toes, lol:

I sincerely hope some of those are his:

More boat chaining:

And adjust Malta's taxes to take account of the famine, though not by that much now:

Turn 40:

This is quite bad news, if Prince Aodh is the next in line, then I'll have to remember to keep an eye on that global happiness when the time comes, cos he's a bit... Strange:

I'll move him to the safety of Malta's enclave and Malta can go back to very high taxation to-boot:

I do like looking at our treasury. Excellent, excellent, Smithers:

More later, don't you go changin'

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

So it's a no-wars playthrough except you declared war, and after that it's been How To Play MTW: The Manual. Presumably you're just going to bribe the shit out of everybody, but I wouldn't mind if you moved faster (unless you want to dwell on each turn).

High, that was explained in the turns 11-20 post

High, as stated in the OP, this is a bit of everything, including a walkthrough.

High, bribing will obviously play a part, but, as you might or might not know, you cannot bribe heirs and bribing large stacks would cost 100,000s per stack, which even a 2 million stash couldn't keep up for long, so, no, it wont just be "all bribing".

High, sorry you're so impatient just to get to the 'good bit', please be aware the world doesn't revolve around just things that interest you and you alone

High, there will be at least one screenie for each turn, as stated in the OP.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Is this a Steam version? If yes, does it run well on modern systems? I've read several complaints.

This is Medieval: Total War Gold Edition played from the disk on an old XP laptop. Please refer to Steam guides if you want to play via Steam. I don't even use Steam and would have no clue as to how the game works going that route.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 41-50

Spoiler

Turn 41:

As I suspected, a new king has brought new troubles. This means you are now rolling for the chance of a Civil War:

Naples has finished it's Town Watch upgrade and is ready to build more new units and start building a structure that will give us new units, Swordsmen:

Malta better get going on those Assassins and build a Tavern:

Because that Inquisitor isn't wasting any time:

Turn 42:

Now that I have very competent Militia Sergeants I shall disband the really quite useless Urban Militia, repeating what I did with the Spearmen:

More boat chaining, we nearly have a boat in every port now, just a few more to go:

Turn 43:

Looks like the Pope is now a fully operational death Pope, my new king's died already:

And his brother has taken over, so at least that means that Strange kid wasn't his:

From now on my king will reside in my Malta safe-house until he has at least one heir:

Naples can build a couple of armoured Archers while it waits for Swordsmen:

Sicily will build a Royal Palace so that I will have two territories able to produce Emissaries:

Turn 44:

Again, my new Archers will like-for-like replace the old ones:

Turn 45:

More boat chaining, completing the Mediterranean, leaving just one chain left going north, freeing up Malta to build Assassins:

Naples can now build swordsmen, which are a new unit and wont replace anything. While it's doing that it will build a Shipwright so Naples can build boats when there's a gap in the need to build units:

Sicily is now ready to take a good long time building a most excellent Citadel:

And Malta will want a Church to build Priests:

Turn 46:

This will annoy Tigranes, one of my boats has sunk in a storm (a very regular occurrence), slowing down the boat chaining process as I pull my chain backwards to replace it:

Turn 47:

My new king is no more popular than the last unfortunately:

Uh-oh, looks like I'm not the only one to start building Assassins, they're now a regular thing:

It's taken nearly 50 turns, but, at last our erstwhile neighbour, the peace-loving Pope (cough cough), has finally decided to ally with me:

Naples will build a couple more Feudal Sergeants I think, nothing more scary than the Pope offering friendship:

Turn 48:

Keeping that boat chain chaining:

Turn 49:

Naples is now done with upgrading units for a while, so it can finally start adding to the economy and produce some boats to help speed up the boat chaining:

Malta is now ready for a Castle upgrade:

Turn 50:

My Assassins are now ready to strike. It's always best with Assassins to dog-pile with lots of Assassins, just to be sure:

Malta will build one more Assassin and a couple more Emissaries before concentrating on building Catholic Bishops for the foreseeable:

Will the Assassins get their man? Find out next time, same war time, same war channel.

 

[Endlösung]

High, you are weird as fuck.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 51-60

Spoiler

Turn 51:

Oh yes... yes they can:

The boat chain continues and Sicily is already ready for a new batch of boats:

The road to attaining horse units is a long and arduous one, starting with 20% improved farmland and finishing with the first Horse building upgrade. Naples' first Horse building wont actually give access to horse units, but we have to build it anyway:

Turn 52:

That was a really close call, our ageing brother king had been married and had been producing heirs in the M:TW ether and one has luckily come of age, just in time. He's a bit of a porker, but that's not tooooo bad:

So now we can move our king into the danger zone and not care if someone just happens to bump him off before he dies of old age (not forgetting to leave our heir in the Malta safe-house):

Boat chain!

Turn 53:

How old is my king now? Why isn't he dead yet? Must be the olive oil...

Naples needs that important horse upgrade yesterday:

Turn 54:

Ah, just a turn too impatient there, he's dead and, yay, we have a nice young king which should give us lots and lots of stress-free turns, just as long as he doesn't get Assassinated, of course (move him to Malta):

As kings die, old princes who never made it to the throne will gradually lose their prince status and become general units which you can then turn into governors and use to spearhead any battles as generals without fear of losing them:

Boat chain!

Now, about those Bishops. Primarily, these will be used used to bring to light land-locked territories, but once settled in each territory will provide the benefit of having quick access to foreign kings (they can negotiate alliances etc), and the very long-term benefit of making the population happier in preparation should you ever conqueror that territory. So let's start chaining Bishop to the land-locked territories:

Turn 55:

Boat Chain:

Bishop chain and Malta build priorities to suit (don't worry, I shan't be providing a screenie of every Bishop chain):

Turn 56:

We haven't wanked over our money in a while, it's about time for another look. Sicily is now 11 times more valuable than it was at the start and our net profit is 10 times. The further away a boat is from a home port, the higher the upkeep cost, so we ought to start thinking about taking out some of those rebel states up north to greatly reduce our boating costs:

Turn 57:

Here's another example of another positive trait to keep an eye out for that's great for governors:

Our king needs to get married, but those tasty princesses are a long, dangerous way from a port, oh well, might as well make a start:

Now that my boat chain has reached scandinavia I shall send a couple of Emissaries up there in hope that the slow (in this game) Danish have yet to conquer the rebel provinces above them:

Naples is now ready to build Horse units, but will just wait one turn to let that last boat finish off. It will now start building Royal Palaces to enable the building of a variety of horse units:

Turn 58:

Awesome, Norway is still available, I shall send my emissaries there post-haste while I also boat-chain the pen-ultimate port, the Baltic:

And edge those other Emissaries closer to the pussy:

Naples can now, at long last, add some new regular horse units to it's stacks:

Turn 59:

Bribe time:

Naples will now build Royal Court which, in combination with other buildings, allow us to build Royal Knights there:

I can't remember why, but my Emissaries in the UK have decided to abandon their quest for pussy in Northumbria. Chickens.

Turn 60:

Oh those greedy wankers!

Lucky I sent two Emissaries, the second one often gets the dice if the first one doesn't, yes, I'm happy to raise the offer:

I love you Norwegians, you're awesome:

And this boat chain puts a boat in every port, job done in that regard:

^ You see how the map is becoming more filled-in ^ keep those Bishops chaining as well:

No more tonight, I'm whacked, see y'all tomorrow for more, more, more!

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 61-70

Spoiler

Turn 61:

We have conquered our second territory, and another trading nation to-boot:

Another storm, but this time it was the other guy's boat that sank. I like storms sometimes:

So let's sort Norway out. Reduce the taxation so that everyone's happy, set the build, and send over a governor, remember that guy with a Captivating Nature, now's the time to use him, and finally let's rush those Emissaries back home to safety:

I think I remembered why my Emissaries left Northumbia, I think the Princess vanished just as I was getting close, they move to a port territory to come over to Spain and try to excite this babe over here:

Sicily and Malta will continue to improve their religious structures. You wont need a Reliquary until 1205 as its units, the Grand Inquisitor, wont become available until 1205, but getting it out the way as soon as possible is always good. The Monastery gives us regular Inquisitors, which we shall be using soon enough:

Turn 62:

This is an example of a full stack. It is such a perfect full stack that even just changing one of the Royal Knights for your King's Royal Knights (the King's unit having 21 instead of 20 horses) will result in a pop-up telling you that there's not enough room for the unit. The stack also, surprise, surprise, has a perfect variation of available units:

Norway is ready to go to full taxation already, even before building the Border Fort:

Now let's prepare to invade that other spare territory up there, Ireland. We can't bribe it as it has no Port and the rebels wont ever build one, so it's gotta be a good ol' fashioned battle, preferably before those Frenchies get it. We could take a risk and send in currently available troops, but the Pope will invade if you give him an inch, don't you worry about that, so we're playing it ultra-safe here. Having the Pope invade you can trigger a Civil War almost instantly:

Turn 63:

Which is quite important for us as we are already, once again, rolling for a Civil War:

What a cockblocker that Spanish king is...

Now that Naples has a full stack plus spares, it can take a breather and build more money related structures:

Next up in newly gained territories is a Fort. Territories without a Fort have a greater risk of rebelling than those with:

Turn 64:

That Byzantine geezer, now he's a real dude, great at keplunk as well:

Turn 65:

Malta wants more Bishops already:

Turn 66:

Cor, that Byzantine babe wasted no time, what a woman, what a gal:

Now that we have a ship in every port and a few spare here and there, it's time to double our stake in the naval sphere by having our ship producing territories now switch to the more expensive version whenever they build boats, aiming to now get two boats in every port:

Turn 67:

Awesome, some timely positive traits:

I think we're now ready to send a half-stack to Ireland:

Norway will be wanting a Port:

Naples should now build some more units to replace those that left in addition to the other new units and to now ensure a reserve of units should either Norway or Ireland succumb to rebellion/feel threatened and need more troops quickly. Naples and Malta are both now also at the stage where they want to level-up and move to the next tier of castle:

Turn 68:

Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we gooooo, here we go:

I'm a nice guy, I'm releasing them all:

Germans, I love you and your sausages:

And let's now sort Ireland out. Don't worry, I shan't be showing screenies of every Ireland build, it will simply follow the same path as Norway's for now:

Turn 69 (dude):

Your generals can die in this game. But I'm not sure what it effects other than their name. Perhaps it means they start a new stream of traits and don't continue on from the last guy's trait? maybe it's left over code from when they were Royals and it's just cleaning the deck, I don't know, whatever, I treat this screen as a skip screen:

Uh-oh, my governor in Norway has turned from a porker into a lardbucket, oh well, no real harm done, but best not to take him into battle and hope no-one invades:

See, my new guy in Ireland hasn't changed at all, it's still the old drunkard, just with a new face:

Quickly do some more stuff in Ireland:

And Sicily is, hype hype, ready to build its Master Merchant:

Turn 70:

Lord Colonic has upgraded his Captivating Nature:

Ireland is ready for maximum taxation already:

And last, but not least, Matla is ready for more Bishops:

And I'm just about ready for a break. BBS, tata and I thank yoooow.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 71-80

Spoiler

Turn 71:

Greedy fuck...

While your Assassins aren't assassinating they offer protection against incoming Assassins, so best to leave an Assassin in every territory:

Time for Norway to increase its income ten-fold:

Turn 72:

Crusades are a pain in the backside in this method of play, lets hope there wont be too many:

Charming!

I think I'd better quickly get a second boat to Ireland, just to be extra-safe:

Turn 73:

Time to level-up Norway and also time for Sicily to build more... boats!

Turn 74:

Wank time:

Turn 75:

keep pumping those Bishops (wink wink, nudge nudge):

Turn 76:

How are those alliances going?

Turn 77:

Sicily has nothing particularly urgent to build, so back to that Farmalnd:

Turn 78:

The drunk is now even more of a drunk, now there's a surprise:

Still, I like him, he's cool, he deserves some additional protection (now that the port is operational):

Turn 79:

And... he's turned into a typical codexer (tm):

Now that Naples has leveled-up, we can, once again, start off with the next Armourer upgrade:

Turn 80:

More Bishops vicar?

That was quite a quickie, I'm tempted to push on quite soon...

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 81-90

Spoiler

Turn 81:

Arsewank:

Nice:

Not nice:

It doesn't matter if the king dies now, off to the front line with him:

It greatly speeds up the boat making with northern boat building, so...

And now it's time for MY inquisitors to start reeking havoc:

Turn 82:

Anyone any good at building stakes? I have this flame that needs some wood to feed on:

Turn 83:

Sicily will now build a scroll-providing building, this one will provide a title which gives more acumen to one lucky general:

Malta's turn to build a Reliquary in anticipation of 1205AD:

Turn 84:

Money money money, must be funneeee:

Turn 85:

*groan* another famine in Malta:

This one's a real shitter, you'd better hope your king never has this trait:

Bishops and boats:

Naples and Norway (Again, the dockyard won't come into use until 1205AD when the new more advanced boat units come into play):

Turn 86:

Inquisitors are great, they can kill 9* generals with ease with enough valour, but it's best to start them on the small fry. Be warned though, while they are at low valour they are extremely vulnerable to Assassins, so best to keep them constantly moving while not tying people to the stake. Again, best to strike with at least two at once, just to help the dice rolls:

Turn 87:

And the first one failed miserably:

But the second one got'im good:

Arseing arsewank wankcunt:

Turn 88:

Alas poor Yorick:

Can this guy actually get any fatter? I think not, surely (his secret gluttony has been exposed by a rival spy):

And let's do that moving the new (dammit, Strange) king to safety routine:

Turn 89:

Oh God, not another Alcoholic:

The new title is ready, feel free to give it to whom ever you please. And Sicily will now build another preparatory building, the Dockyard:

Turn 90:

And take a breather...

As shall I, that was a bit longer there. Back later...

 

[Baardhaas]

So, why are you building Dromons instead of galleys just now and not right from the start? Dromons cost a little more to build, but are cheaper in maintenance and faster. I assumed that because of your 'no war policy'you choose galleys for their better defense stat.

Maintenance costs cap at 3 or more squares away from your nearest port. A dromon would cost 60 a year in maintenance and a galley would cost 80. Wouldn't it make sense to use dromons for the seas squares farther away, to reduce maintenance costs? Or even better, why use galley's at all?

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

You can do that if you like, I have no objections to what order of boat choices you make, I like having a combo of speed and defence in my stacks, but you are right that those speedy boats are better for avoiding attacks. Please be aware this is not a power-gaming game, there will be elements that a power gamer could optimise better. My game starts at 1205AD and I'm just using the early period to create a useful starting position for the High Period, so such things as boat choices are purely personal preference for this type of game.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 91-100

*note: my game started to get extremely buggy from around here-on in until 1204AD, if you notice any minor incongruities it is because I may have had to reload to a turn or two back in some cases. The cause of this is, sod's law, because I keep interrupting the game by taking screenies (and I'm no expert on taking screenies). I've completed this run twice in preparation and had zero issues, and I'll have zero issues after 1204AD, but I'll explain all of that before the 1205AD onwards post.

Spoiler

Turn 91:

Now this is a trait which will be familiar to the codex:

^ Ooo look, we can now see the entire map ^, Bishops, job done. Malta will now build a preparatory Dockyard and enrol some more Assassins:

Naples will want to upgrade its Swordmaking while also replacing some redundant Spearmen:

Norway would like to bring in more dosh:

Turn 92:

Now this is annoying. It's not annoying because the Italians have declared war on me, it's annoying because they haven't. You'll have no idea what I'm on about here, but all will become clear. For now, we have to deal with the fact that one of our boats just got sunk by the Italians (no screenie) while some of our boats sunk some of theirs:

Why thank you Frenchy, I love you and your onions:

Well, at least the Pope is staying on my side, this one bit of good news:

Magnificent Builder is a superb trait to earn and goes a long way to holding back Civil Wars:

Oh well, let's take some advantage of the awful situation:

(You'll notice the Italians have entered into a civil war as a result of their actions and loss of Papal support, half their armies turning into rebels)

Malta will most definitely recruit some more Emissaries:

Turn 93:

Lovely jubley:

Here's hoping:

Lets see if my Inquisitors are good enough to take out a 5* general yet:

Turn 94:

I have no Idea why this guy is still green:

Their boats keep attacking me. I am not attacking them, what I am doing is moving my boats around, in and out of other ports, just trying to ensure I end each turn with a boat in every port, plus they will have to catch me before they can sink me:

Thank you Corsica:

Malta will go back to producing Assassins for our new territories:

Sardinia is kinda fucked until Corsica comes round next turn, I can't move any of my troops there while the Italians are in the adjoining port, so, fingers crossed I get no rebellions:

Turn 95:

Hooray, got'em both, and as long as I have boats in their ports no-one else will get a chance to have 'em off me:

*Sigh*

Right, check this out: I am clearly offering peace just a couple of turns into the 'war' and the Italians have accepted this peace:

Sicily shall level-up to the highest Castle level:

Norway will now divert from the normal routine and become a second military unit producing territory, what with it having a land border with other AIs:

Sardinia is allowing me to purchase mercenaries instantly, and I shall jump at this opportunity:

Same routine for Corsica now:

Turn 96:

So... how's that peace that we just agreed going?

Nope, his boats still attacked me during the interturn. This is an issue with the game, this does not relate to my other glitches I mentioned at the top of this post. For some reason the AI will sometimes initiate war via a shipping incident, and this 'war' will be continuous until you are lucky enough to go an interturn without any of their ships attacking you, and there's nothing you can do about it. There attacks also bear no correlation to any land-based indications of war from the AI, as if it's an entirely separate entity at play. It's deeply frustrating and my biggest complaint about the game.

Anyway, nice to see Corsica and Sardinia are getting settled:

Turn 97:

Oh for fuck's sake:

Oh for fuck's sake:

All you can do is keep trying, peace agreed again:

Ah, some good news at last:

Malta would like to build spy's next, so a brothel is in order (when isn't it...) :

Naples now wants a Royal Estate, so it can improve its horse units. It can now recruit improved Swordsmen:

Sardinia and Corsica are now quite happy, dodged a bullet there:

Turn 98:

Remember that 5* general we were going at earlier... hey, we got him!

Oh for fucking fuck's sake fucking what the fuck:

Shit always happens on top of each other in this game, the Byzants have copped it, so now I've gotta concentrate on grabbing their islands too:

Full happiness achieved:

Lets go grab those other islands:

Turn 99:

Oh fucking fuck off already, fed up of this bullshit:

More greedy fuckers:

Naples will now build upgraded Militia and Sicily will go back to enrolling Emissaries:

Turn 100:

Well... dur... I think from now on I shall be auto-resolving these Rebel versus Rebel encounters which have no reason to exist other than the game not always registering a bribe attempt (another every-game bug of pure frustration):

Now, where were we, ah yes, more negative traits...

And where we:

Is it over yet? Is it finally over... YAAAAAAAAY!

More boats from Sicily please:

And lets now get rid of those cruddy mercs now that we can move troops back and forth to the islands:

And move some Assassins in:

This is a great trait for a governor, nice catch:

No need to mess about with Crete:

Aaaaaand, phew, that lot was pig to do, frustrating in play and frustrating to screenie and frustrating to post. Time for break, see you soon.

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 101-110

Spoiler

Turn 101:

There is now a siege in Rhodes as I have the Castle but not the land, which you can do without initiating combat:

More greedy bastards:

Naples has room to build a couple more boats:

Turn 102:

And finally:

This is another good trait to get, the salesman trait:

Ireland, and all our other no-adjacent territories, will divert from Norway's build pattern at this stage, not building military, but pushing for Castle level-ups:

Fucking Man of Honour that guy was:

Rhodes will still need more troops, lucky we now have shit-loads of them in Crete:

Emissaries are gaining a lot of Valour now:

As are our inquisitors:

Turn 103:

Naples wants the next horse upgrade, and Malta is going to build a Cathedral, because, hey, why not. It will provide another Scroll for one lucky general, add some minor income and also produce Cardinals. I've no idea what to do with Cardinals other than use them as upgraded Bishops, but I shan't be using any in this game so whatever:

Turn 104:

Malta can now build Spies. I won't be using any as spies, I'll just be using them like I use Assassins, as counter agents against enemy units, one in each home territory:

Feel free to disband any unnecessary crap you think you don't like from your many bribery missions:

Turn 105:

How nice it is to take a breather after all that:

Turn 106:

Crete can prepare for better boats and start producing current boats:

Turn 107:

Awesome, awesome, awesome:

If you ever lose one of your strategic units in a sea of bad memory and other strategic units, particularly in small territories then the Subterfuge guide will help you a lot, though can be laborious when we (will) have about 200 of them on the go. If they are doing something they will be marked in red and at the top of the list:

Turn 108:

The Egyptians failed to keep Cyprus happy when they took over, and now they're fucked there:

Hooray, our heir has matured, we are safe for a bit:

Off to the front line with you kingy mate:

Turn 109:

Naples is now ready to build upgraded Horsemen, this is great news. It shall now improve it's bowmaking:

And Norway is now ready to start building a proper stack:

Turn 110:

Have our alliances recovered from that phoney war yet? mmmyyyymymymymym not baaaaad:

Just a few turns left of preparation and it's nearly time to get the real show on the road... already missin' ya...

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Turns 111-118

Spoiler

Turn 111:

Oh look, a typical AI battle, LOL:

When your Inquisitors are just lazing around a territory they'll normally just be slaughtering people in the M:TW ether:

A prince, how nice:

Turn 112:

That Pope, eh, what a card:

Crete, and any other island, will now concentrate on getting to a reliquary:

Turn 113:

Naples can move to the top grade horse upgrade and produce some upgraded Archers:

Malta will squeeze in a couple more boats before 1205:

Turn 114:

Lets get Ireland one step closer to a Reliquary:

Turn 115:

It doesn't really matter what you build in Sicily now, but getting a Fortress gives access to a whole raft of neat Scroll-giving buildings, so that's a good place to start:

Turn 116:

Likewise, lets push Sardinia closer to a Reliquary:

Turn 117:

One of my 4 Inquisitors was unable to get past one Valour... may he rest in peace:

Lets get our kid married off, eh:

Turn 118:

Someone with a billion territories is finally more profitable than me, well, good for them:

Why thank you kind Aragon, may your film/book career be a resounding success:

I forgot to mention earlier, when a Royal is unmarried they have no ring, when they are married a ring is displayed next to their portrait, making it easy to check their status:

Do you get the feeling the last few turns have been too quiet? As in tooooo quiet... I suspect this may be the calm before the storm. It's 1205AD next turn and, once the glitch it discussed and out the way... it's GAME ON !!!!!!

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

At 1204AD my game finally crashed good and proper. I tried everything possible to keep the game going, but to no avail. Details on this can be found on this RPGCodex thread I created to try and get some help http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/a-plea-for-help.108850/ . The 1204/5 is a known bug but one I have never experienced before.

The good news is, it doesn't actually matter for my game.

The whole early period, from 1087-1204 is just a means to an end. It's about setting up the pieces so that everything is in place for when the game starts proper. This can be achieved quickly and with very little fuss as evidenced by the above screenies. When not making screenies I can bash out the same principles to 1204 in about 4 or 5 hours. It's a fairly robotic process, but there will be variations in each game you play, often quite large variations. But the basic principles for stage one are:

Secure Naples ASAP.
Get a boat in every port, then a second boat in every port.
Ensure Naples is well defended, but not so much that the Papacy feels threatened, hence keep unit numbers low, but of the best quality.
Try to take any and every opportunity to snag strategically sound extra territories when the opportunity arises while avoiding war at all costs.
Get the cash available to a few hundred thousand.
Ensure both Malta and Sicily have a reliquary by 1204AD
Get used to working your heirs so that a new prince arrives close to when a king is just entering late 40s and make sure the new prince gets married around 25-30

And this can end up in a variety of forms, with a different AI dominating the map, with you with just 3 territories or up to 15, but, essentially, it matters not, the next phase will function in exactly the same way, it will just take a few turns longer the less territories you have at your disposal at 1204.

So I had to bash out a new game to 1204 for this screeny event, and we will be starting from a new map at 1205 having missed the 1204 interturn, but the preparation and principles will have been exactly the same and I shall explain all the differences with some screenies for turn 1205 which I shall put in this post separate to the regular posts (the new regular posts will also start at 1205 as if nothing had happened):

Spoiler

Firstly, this time I did manage to bribe the army in Naples at the start of the game, whoop-whoop. I also had no interruption from any naval conflict, whoop-whoop again. And this time I got to Sweden before the Danish. Sweden is super cool and another super-rich bonus to trading income:

Secondly, this time the Almohads had a catastrophic fail and their king died without heirs, eliminating them from the game. I managed to secure all their provinces with bribes before any AIs reacted or the Almohads reappeared:

Unfortunately, when the Italians fucked up, which they normally do one way or another, the Byzantines grabbed the two islands before my Emissaries could get their bribes out. Luckily they were a bit incompetent and Sardinia soon rebelled, but I never got Corsica or the Greek islands:

The net result has been that I don't need to waste time securing Africa and can start my aggressive units further on in the grand scheme of things, saving a few turns off the turn times and my cash is double what the previous game was and my income more superior, nothing game-changing but aesthetically more pleasing:

Let part 2 commence, just 100 or so more turns to victory...