So I did the first part of the quest to take over the court of Mania. I have no screenshots of it, however.
Why? I took lots of screenshots. They did, in fact, show up in my Oblivion folder. They were there.
Then my computer randomly crashed before I quit the game. Oblivion did not like that. No, not at all.
All of the screenshots disappeared. And I'd saved, so I can't go back and get them again. Like I'd fucking do that anyway.
Anyway, Sheogorath told kingcomrade that he should talk to members of the court of Dementia for ways to get close enough to Syl to kill her. Our hero went directly to the main throne room of Dementia, where he found Anya and the black guy. Both of them hated him, for some reason, possibly to do with him torturing them several times over for fun last time after he'd already gotten information out of them. The black guy was at a disposition of
1, which makes me think he's just playing the ancestral guilt card at me.
Shouldn't hold a grudge like that, it's not healthy.
Thankfully, the Persuasion Pie proved capable of meeting this challenge, and soon they both liked me enough to help me out. Rodney King gave me the key to Syl's quarters, and Anya agreed to distract Syl's dark seducer guards for me. I waited a bit, then followed Anya into Syl's private garden (video is £9.99), where she distracted the guards by running past them, into Syl's bedroom, and letting them rush towards me screaming war cries and waving their weapons.
A clever ruse indeed.
Anyway, I entered Syl's quarters to discover her body on the bed. After prodding it a bit, I realised it was a body and not just her asleep, then Rodney came in behind me. "MARIO, THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE, THIS IS JUST A BODY DOUBLE. I LOVE WATERMELON" he bleated. I followed him outside, opening up a secret escape route in the garden. With a sigh, I headed into another uninspired dungeon crawl.
The first few rooms were fairly simple. There were trap statues which fired health-draining spells down each corridor constantly, but I cunningly avoided these by moving slightly to the left and walking forwards as normal. Then I came into another, larger room, with three hostile dark seducers inside. Two began firing arrows at me, and the other had their back turned, so I killed that one quickly - and got a message telling me that "my killing had been observed by forces unknown".
I got the fucking Dark Brotherhood you-murdered-someone-good-job recruitment message because I killed an enemy in an isolated dungeon in a hostile Daedric realm.
Why am I playing this game.
Anyway, that was about where my game crashed. Screenshots proceed from here.
This dungeon has a fondness for moving walls.
A door down. If this next level doesn't have the green arrow on the quest compass indicating that the quest target is in this area, I think I might cry a little.
It did have it. Hooray.
Chairs! I'm not sure what their function is here. Oh well.
Slog, slog, slog. This door looks promising.
A long hallway, with a seducer walking away from me at the far end. Time for more cold-blooded killing. Of hostile demons.
I like this bow. It's supposed to have random magical effects every time it hits, but the only noticable one I've ever seen is that it makes them fall over sometimes. It looks funny, at least.
Ooh, who's that down there...
Oh, it's Syl. Hi, Syl.
Bye, Syl.
Believe it or not, she didn't provide much of a challenge.
I was surprised, looking at this, because it seemed to have the same damage rating as my Elven war axe that I've been using. The Elven axe isn't scaled loot, got it because of Obscuro's or one of those, whereas this one's a unique and definitely scaled. So I was surprised.
Then I remembered that I hadn't repaired my axe in a while.
Sigh. Moving on...
Heading back out... doesn't seem to be a convenient door that leads straight out of the dungeon here, surprisingly. Though, much as I rag on them, they're at least convenient. I cry at the thought of going back through all that generic-ness.
So I turn right, and notice a door I haven't been through yet. This must be it.
OR IS IT
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What the hell is that thing is that a bone golem
This room is interesting in that when I walk into it it is rude and falls on my head.
Doing little damage, of course.
Called it. Well, that was a fair alternative to walking right out or trekking all the way back. Not that it was very interesting.
Kingcomrade leaves the dungeon at last, and poses dramatically for the camera. The rain glistening against his toned flesh lends a wild, sexual aura.
Right outside the walls of New Sheoth. Kingcomrade can barely contain his excitement. What will happen when he returns? What new witticisms will Sheogorath have to share?
A traveller! Shirtless! Glistening! With a mighty weapon! This is so uninspired.
WHY ARE YOU SO SHINY
Why are there bodies here now? Were they here last time? Do I care? No. Let's talk to Sheogorath. Brace yourselves.
Oh, yeah, the ritual. That.
THEN A DRAMATIC INTERRUPTION :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!:
Does Sheogorath listen to the Duke of Mania? No. Does the Duke of Mania do anything beyond his initial "hi guys I am interrupting" other than wait for Sheogorath to shout at him? No.
Good script.
The guards draw their swords dramatically :!: :!: :!: And stand still.
Sheogorath has Things In Mind :!: :!: :!: :!:
Oh, the heart-wrenching tragedy of it all :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: A lost love, the conflict between duty and the heart... simply Shakespearian :!: :!: :!: :!: Except wackee. And stupid. And not really like Shakespeare.
Incidentally, he didn't actually threaten that.
My next quest, apparently, is to lead Sheogorath's forces in taking back the Fringe. Or something like that. I'm sure I'll end up in a boring dungeon somehow.
I'm given the Ring of Dementia as a sign of my new dukeness.
It's rubbish.
I wish I was dead.