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In Progress Let's Play Resident Evil 4: No Mutants Allowed

dextermorgan

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3,461
Location
Ελλάδα
I would but my ancient PC can't run the emulation properly. :(

You should vote "Do not want" by the way.
Want = 1 point;
Not sure if want = 0.5 points;
10 points and we kick this thing off, unless there's more Do not's than Do's, in which case we let it rest.

Here's some incentive:

Gruesome deaths
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Sample waffen (with RPG elements)
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eVePK.png

meM9x.png


Emotional engagement (with C&C)
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oldmanpaco

Master of Siestas
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
13,465
Location
Summer
Voted want because every time someone fails to complete an LP I feel just a bit better about myself.
 
Self-Ejected

Excidium

P. banal
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
13,696
Location
Third World
I would but my ancient PC can't run the emulation properly. :(

You should vote "Do not want" by the way.
Want = 1 point;
Not sure if want = 0.5 points;
10 points and we kick this thing off, unless there's more Do not's than Do's, in which case we let it rest.

I voted not sure if want because the game seems to have some lulzy moments that can make it an interesting LP.
 

Phelot

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
17,908
I want. I read an LP on SA of this and it was pretty funny so you've got to compete with my expectations.
 

dextermorgan

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3,461
Location
Ελλάδα
I want. I read an LP on SA of this and it was pretty funny so you've got to compete with my expectations.
Considering I'm an LP virgin that's a pretty high bar you're setting up for me. I will do my best not to try too hard, but that's about as much as I can promise up front.

Anyway, I think we'll have our first update within 12 hours or so.
 

Lindblum

Augur
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
659
The SA one pretty much ran the whole romance joke to the ground, I'd like to see what wacky Hijinks story you can set up.
 

Phelot

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
17,908
I want. I read an LP on SA of this and it was pretty funny so you've got to compete with my expectations.
Considering I'm an LP virgin that's a pretty high bar you're setting up for me. I will do my best not to try too hard, but that's about as much as I can promise up front.

Anyway, I think we'll have our first update within 12 hours or so.

I was just joking, the game appears to be ridiculous on its own so it shouldn't be that hard to run.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Did they fuck up Silent Hill series this way as well? I didn't bother looking for info on games released after the 3rd of the series.
 

dextermorgan

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3,461
Location
Ελλάδα
Did they fuck up Silent Hill series this way as well? I didn't bother looking for info on games released after the 3rd of the series.
The Room (SH4) was kind of lackluster. It tried to explore new ground but became more of a spinoff set in the same universe, rather than an actual SH game. I haven't tried other installments after that but I hear they're pretty lame. The latest one (Downpour) looks kind of promising though, at least judging by gameplay videos. IGN scored it very poorly, which is reason enough to give it a shot (once PC port comes out).

Where's the "Prisoner of Ice" option in the poll? :decline:
I'll add that once I'm 2/3s in the game and get bored with it, resulting in updates mainly composed of lame excuses. :smug:

Speaking of lame excuses, I had a bad case of insomnia last night and crashed in the afternoon so I'm postponing the start of this LP for a bit. But only a bit, promise.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City

dextermorgan

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3,461
Location
Ελλάδα
Resident Evil 4

Part 1: How to make friends and influence people

Here we are ladies (if any) and gents. The first thing that greets us is a lovely non-skippable animation featuring our dear publisher.
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Console-friendly developer.
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Future holds great things for us.
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A beautiful rotating vista of a peaceful European hamlet.
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As promised, I'm going to load a save from a completed game.
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We're immediately greeted by a merchant screen. This normally doesn't happen on your first run as you only get to meet the merchant later in the game. More on the merchant mechanic when we encounter him properly.
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I sell everything I had at the end of the game save for some handgun ammo. Note the maxed out amount of money (Pesetas? I thought Spain used Euro?). This is just me cheating in order to be able to buy the unlocked guns without having to grind.
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And we buy the default gun, which is pretty shit. No upgrades. We'll have votes on available gear once we get to the merchant proper.
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An intro movie plays:

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1998...
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"Crippling its very foundation" - awesome writing right there
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With the whole affair gone public, the United States government issued an indefinite suspension of business decree to Umbrella. Soon its stock prices crashed and for all intents and purposes Umbrella was finished. Six years had passed since that horrendous incident...

And with that we cut to the present. Our intrepid protagonist is staring dreamily out the window of a moving car while salsa music plays in the background.
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(narrating inside his head) I received special training via a secret organization working under the direct control of the President. I was to assume the responsibility of protecting the new President's family.

Leon doesn't know it yet but he's riding with two nasty trorrs Spaniards who, judging by their dislike of Kwans, think they're French or something.
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Why am I the one who always gets the short end of the stick?
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Yo, who are you really? Come on and tell us. You are a long way from home, cowboy. You have my sympathies.
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Guess that's a locals way of breaking the ice. Anyway, you know what this is all about. My assignment is to search for the President's missing daughter.

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What, all by yourself?

I was going to point out the first major plot hole but nasty trorr stole my thunder. I guess Umbrella was so entrenched in the US system that its undoing dragged the country down the shitter, to the point where they can't afford to mount a rescue operation of more than one. Or whatever.

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I'm sure you boys didn't just tag along so we could sing Kumbiyah together at some Boy Scout bonfire. Then again, maybe you did.

Leon sure knows how to dish it out.
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Oh, you crazy American. It's an direct order from the chief himself. I tell you it's no picnic.
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I'm counting on you guys.

You really shouldn't. The car stops and one of the officers jumps out to drain the lagarto.
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(narrating again) It was right before I was to take on my duties of protecting the President's daughter when she was abducted. That's the ultimate reason I'm in this lonely and rural part of Europe.

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(still narrating) According to our intelligence, there's reliable information of a sighting of a girl that looks very similar to the President's daughter. Apparently she's being withheld by some unidentified group of people. Who would have thought my first job would be a rescue mission?

Kwans don't smoke.
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8oH8r.png
Ah, it's freezing. So cold all of a sudden.

He doesn't know it but he's being watched. Creepy.
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(looking around) Ah, must be my imagination.

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Sorry it took so long.

And without further interruption we cross a rickety wooden bridge and park.
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Just up ahead is the village.
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I'll go and have a look around.
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We'll stay and watch the car. Don't want to get any parking tickets.
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Right...parking tickets.

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Good luck.
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Geez, who are these guys?
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Did you say something?

RIGHT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT MOTHERFUCKER LET'S GET IT O-

*buzz*

And before we can kick the shit out of that goddamn asshole we're interrupted by a call on our videophone. We're introduced to our fist LI. She's a boring human.
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EgqUr.png
Leon, I hope you can hear me. I'm Ingrid Hunningan. I'll be your support on this mission.

Gee, why thank you mister president, you really shouldn't have.

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Loud and clear. Somehow I thought you'd be a little older. So the subject's name's Ashley Graham, right?

Leon has to check the name of the president's daughter before he proceeds.

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That's right. She's the daughter of the President. So try and behave yourself, okay?
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Whoever this group is, they sure picked the wrong girl to kidnap.

Judging by the lackluster response you're probably right. She doesn't seem to be very valuable.

EgqUr.png
I'll try to find more information on them from my end as well.

Now, about that SOF uni-

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Talk to you later. Leon out.

Oh well. Now, where were we...
AAj8Q.png


*click*click*click*

Actually the gun doesn't even click. All that happens is the guy tells you to fuck off or something to that effect. We take consolation in the fact that he hasn't got much time left to live anyway and proceed to examine our inventory.

What you see is the inside of Leon's attache case. It's actually huge because it carried over from our save and the game doesn't allow me to sell the XL upgrade I purchased on my previous run. I have no idea how to compensate for this advantage just yet. You can move and rotate objects inside the inventory, and if they don't fit they can be placed on a special field that appears to the right while you make more space. If you choose to leave the inventory screen while the item is outside the case it gets destroyed.
PBCfd.png


This is our default weapon. Over the course of the game we can purchase custom modifications to improve the effectiveness of most weapons, as represented by blue squares under various sections. Once the weapon is fully upgraded, a special upgrade becomes available that usually makes it even more useful. Except for this gun, which gets a useless 500% increase of a critical headshot (500% of what? We'll never know). It is useless because later in the game we actually don't want our enemies heads popping.
Zn9ci.png


Keys/Treasures shows key items and treasures in our possession, obviously. Most treasures serve no other purpose than to be sold. Others, however, can be combined to dramatically increase the selling price of an item.
fOStO.png


I rather like the map, even though in a game this linear you don't have much use for it. When you do, it's easy to orient by. 00/15 counter is tied to a mini-quest (the only such quest in the game to my knowledge) that I'll explain once we get to the trigger.
KB4wc.png


Finally, Files screen stores all communication, verbal or otherwise, you come across while playing. Not that we ever needed to consult it but yeah.
QFPQI.png


Trying to go back over the bridge causes the troll to annoy you some more so don't try it. Instead, we turn towards the path where we spot some crows. Time for shooting practice! Crows drop rather useful items, in this case money and a jewel (spinel) that we can sell later on.
WxD36.png


Continuing down the path we come upon a lovely rustic abode.
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Someone is observing our approach from the inside while listening to some rather dramatic music.
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But we're not going inside yet. Let's check the side of the house first. Ooh, a box!
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This, along with barrels, is our basic treasure container. They can have either fixed or random loot. This one has neither :decline:.
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Farther down the path we find our way blocked by a truck.
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Maybe it belongs to one of the villagers around here.

captainobvious.jpg

Nothing left to do but enter the house. As we enter the living room a cut-scene plays.
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A mans is tending a fire.

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Uh, excuse me. Sir?

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He pays no attention until we walk up to him. Once we do, he turns to show a face that inspires confidence.
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Oblivious to the obvious danger, Leon whips out a pic from his pocket.
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I was wondering if you might recognize the girl in this photograph?

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Would you look at the ears on that girl. Don Esteban (script says this is his name) is equally appalled.
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¿Qué carajo estás haciendo aquí? ¡Lárgate, cabrón! (What's the matter with you? Get that horrible thing out of my face!)

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Sorry to have bothered you.

Unfortunately, an apology doesn't cut it as deeply offended Esteban picks up an axe and takes a swing at our hero, who deftly dodges the blow and draws his own weapon.

KLsKv.png
Freeze! I said freeze!

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Back in control, we line up a shot. In good RE tradition, this action roots us to the spot.
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We got lucky and our fist shot put an end to Esteban. We're immediately treated to another cut-scene. An engine revs and the truck can be seen speeding down the path towards the bridge.
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As Leon peers out the window shots are heard, followed by a crash. More villagers approach the house.
VBOEs.png


*buzz*

Oh no, not this shit again.
jcfaa.png


EgqUr.png
Is everything okay?
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There was a hostile local. I had no choice but to neutralize him. There are still others surrounding the area.
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Get out of there and head toward the village. Take whatever measures necessary to save the subject.
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Understood.

Thankfully, the villagers were kind enough to lock themselves out of the house (Leon didn't even bother to close the door when he came in) allowing us to complete this conversation in peace and then explore the house for a bit.
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Nope. Unfortunately he's not.
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Don Esteban's dinner?
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It seems like someone was eating here recently.

I'll bet you 1,000,000 Pesetas it was Don Esteban.
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Nothing particularly unusual here.

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Though none of them are written in English.

Well what did you expect you crazy cowboy? We're in rural Spain after all. Moving on, behind the living room is a staircase, and underneath it we find this:
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Not nearly as many as you're going to murder over the course of this adventure.

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I hope Ashley's ok.

On top of the stairs we find some ammo and this:
oQ4Ky.png


Now, we could make our way back to the ground level window but where's the fun in that?
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Witnessing Leons supreme gymnastic capabilities doesn't deter the welcoming committee however. They seem determined to use their gardening implements for some impromptu disemboweling. We line up a shot and prepare to use another game mechanic...
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With one enemy staggered from a bullet to the skull we run up...
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...and kick the living shit out of all three. Normally when the enemy is down it's a good idea to knife them before they get up in order to conserve ammo but I chose not to risk it and just repeated the bullet to the head + kick combo a couple of times until they're all dead.
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We go back to the river and peer down at the wreckage of the truck and the car we drove in with. The villagers rammed it into the ravine.
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Oh, no...

Yeah, as if you care those assholes bought it.
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I can't go back this way.

I suppose we better make our way to the village then.
M5I0p.png
 

dextermorgan

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3,461
Location
Ελλάδα
Can a mod please rename this thread and assign "In Progress"? We don't need the poll any more either.

As for the rest of you guys, I can't seem to find a post someone made about making LPs that lists tools used - I think it used to be stickied or something.

I'm hurting for an offline editor that supports bbcode.
 

Lindblum

Augur
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
659
Seriously you don't have to worry about the advantages of a NG+ (inventory size), just stick to using weapons that are available during that time of the game.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
8,973
Ah yes, this game, it practically writes itself as a LP. So bad it's hilarious.

I was going to point out the first major plot hole but nasty trorr stole my thunder. I guess Umbrella was so entrenched in the US system that its undoing dragged the country down the shitter, to the point where they can't afford to mount a rescue operation of more than one. Or whatever.

Actually, this makes more sense if you pretend that the President DID NOT want his daughter to be rescued, so he sends a lone guy that doesn't even understands the Spanish language.
 

Phelot

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
17,908
:salute: Also, it's awesome how Leon goes into random people's houses, babbles to the locals in a language they don't understand, then shoots them when they grab an axe :lol:

That happens a lot, if I recall the other LP.



Say, is this game any fun to play? I know the story and acting is pretty LOL, but is it at least entertaining from a gameplay perspective?

Also, I love how Spain looks like some spooky New England town.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
8,973
The game is actually fun, soooo cheesy it's hilarious. Don't try to take it seriously though, the story is as good as a B-movie.
Also, the best part is that Capcom couldn't even do the accents right, they sound more like Mexican than Spanish :lol:
PS: Or that Leon randomly steals the villagers' money once he kills them (as an act of self-defense, of course).
 

dextermorgan

Arcane
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
3,461
Location
Ελλάδα
What lightbane said, the game IS fun. RE was never a very cerebral franchise anyway, so that's no great loss, but I do miss some of the aspects of earlier games - I found the atmosphere better and the crippling gameplay mechanics survival aspect kept you on edge. This game is much more action-y, especially towards the end where it pretty much deteriorates.
 

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