Look on the bright side, we never got around to grabbing that chest, so at least it can't break our knife.
Jesus christ, it's looking right at us! We must flee from this cave demon.
Our armor is useless, these massive claws could rip a tank apart! We need to use our herbs.
Well thats better, now we can-
Fucking christ! I- I don't think we'll be leaving this place alive.
Maybe we have a chance after all. We just need to focus.
But it's so fast! Alright. Lets do this motherfucker!
Dear god!
Agh it's got me! Arghhh! CRAB BATTLE! Olilolo! Urghhhhhhhh....... crab battle........
crab....
battle...
Did it use a bucket?
Yeah but now our only hope of getting laid is to move into a boarding school for cripples. That thing totally mangled us.
I'd tell you to start praying then, but you seem to already have the right idea there.
Half our gold is gone. If we'd simply backed out, we'd probably have had 500+ when we came back, along with that knife.
Still, selling our club lets us scrape together just enough to buy a bronze saber.
Pretty major upgrade. 15 weapon bonus compared to the 6 from the club. We buy one herb with our last bit of gold and head back in.
There's no way this will be useful against that thing...
Our saber lets us dish out a lot more damage now.
And a level up boosts us even further along.
The place of our demise. However, being a fractactical genius, we concoct a brilliant plan to sneak by! We turn around and walk into the next space backwards, preventing the crab from appearing.
Didn't see that coming did you game devs? So lets see what is beyond here...
This is the hallway where the crab came from. These firey things are new.
Other direction. Looks kinda ominous.
Ends in a wall made of... whatever that is.
As usual, searching proves fruitless.
We've already made another 200 gold just getting here, we should probably walk back out and come back with more herbs and a leather shield or better body armor.
But that would be kinda dull and logical.
We meet again, my nemesis!
We're ready for you this time! We used one of our 2 herbs before the battle and totally aren't going to waste a round fleeing this time!
Take that, cave demon!
Argh! Mustn't let it break our knife.
Gah! Time to use our herb.
It outspeeds us again! That was close...
Hah! Now the tables have turned!
Urgh! Gack! Blargh! We'll drown you in our blood if we must!
Glorious victory is ours!
Oh course, we have no more recovery items and can now be slain by a stiff breeze...
But we got the phat loot!
Time to head back.
But first...
Now, armed with the powers of trannydom, we will surely make it home safely!
Tis merely a flesh wound!
Tis merely a second flesh wound!
Oh, wait, how many flesh wounds was that again?
This is all part of our plan to seduce the sexy valkyrie. I'd show you guys pics of her but she
doesn't exist is way too sexy to share.
Might want to put us on speed dial.
Technically this is the SAME day.
Our gold is diminished again, but this crown must be worth something, right?
Oh, it's actually related to the plot. Imagine that.
And what, the princess robbed her mom's grave? I'm beginning to like this girl.
Who the fuck is this?
It isn't? Then why are you here?
Sure why not.
Oh, because you're making our ears bleed. (The screen is flashing red and shaking)
Should have had you fight the crab. Anyways, lets do the honourable thing and pawn the crown jewels.
Really? That furry guy recognized it right away.
Hot damn! But we pass on this offer. Without the crown, we have no proof to bring back to the king.
Everyone else says the same thing.
So I've heard.
Brilliant deduction, holmes.
At this point everyone starts repeating themselves, so we leave and come back.
Yeah. Also, a giant man eating crab had it. She's probably been eaten by it already.
I am NOT entering any 'Labyrinth of Prosper'
So you're going to send Tristant and Melvyn with me, right?
Cool, I choose those two guys.
Right.
You're not letting me take any of you guys are you?
As opposed to what, using a ladder? Ladder might be quicker dude.
We if he's not coming along he damned well better enlighten me.
I hope it's not filled with more crabs.
So you're saying you haven't invented ladder technology yet.
Sounds incredibly easy and totally something we have time to do before the princess dies.
They probably just went home after you offered them a shitty ass 100 gold to risk their lives.
Might also want to pray I don't just pawn the crown and retire.
That reminds me, you're all humans huh? King is a real racist bastard isn't he?
If we had any of those qualities I doubt we'd be here still.
Then why do you assume beating them gets you into the labyrinth's penthouse suite?
Again, dude probably took off. You guys are real assholes you know?
Indeed, I'm a righteous and noble warrior, ready to receive my fair reward-
Wow, bet I could hire some strong mercenaries if I still had that fucking crown, you douchebag.
Because I don't want my friends to die horribly in a monster infested labyrinth?
Someone who isn't a god damned land whale you mean?
We head back to town. Actually, we reload,
don't talk to Tristan, letting us keep the tiara, and then head back to town.
Eww. He's turning to leave.
Indeed. Islam has the answer in this case, I'm afraid.
Other than the gut-wrenching terror I feel at the moment, I'm fine!
Forget that, how did she even get inside the town walls!
Gah! Surely she'll use our balls to make stew if we refuse her now.
Our ranks have been infested by this magic using tranny. Things will never be the same again.
Alas, that is no longer an option.
SMA Pyra bashes into some innocent stranger on the way out of the tavern.
I love this guy's expression. 100%
'Girl' huh? I guess our IQ is an average score in this world.
Indeed, save yourself before it's too late, noble... whatever you are.
Oh wait, Pyra is racist? Maybe this isn't such a bad addition to our team after all.
What did they pay you? I'm apparently the best knight in the kingdom and I got just enough to buy a butterknife. You getting paid in fishing bait?
Gypsy used evil eye! It was super effective!
Implied murder over bumping into someone on the street? Nice!
If we must.
That number sure climbs quickly.
Oh fuck, she's level 1 isn't she?
He going to tell us about how you totally haven't been molesting him all these years?
God, he looks like some kind of greasy fat chinese kid. Do fat chinese kids even exist?
Good, I can sacrifice you to this thing that is following me. Remember to wear shittier shoes than me in case we need to run away.
He's that much of a burden huh?
Well great. What are the stats on these bastards anyways?
Well, that at least is promising. Note that 'Attack' simply means it can be used in battle, whiles 'others' can be used outside of it. Heal is in both categories.
They look so much more attractive in silhouette.
Now fireballs huh? Also, now we have a way of viewing a map without bring items along. Though it'll cost MP, which is obviously pretty valuable in and of itself.
We pawn off the crown. We can buy it back later for an extra 250 gold over what we're getting now, and we can get a lot more use out of 750 gold worth of items right now than 250 worth later on and a single nice helm for now.
Ooh, another deal.
Holy shit dude. You're just trying to make us feel bad aren't you. If this LP isn't abandoned before we get that thing it'll be a miracle.
Tristan totally doesn't give a fuck about the missing tiara, nor does anyone else.
Yeah, so how can we possibly do that?
Wait, you had a key to another part of the labyrinth this whole time, and didn't give it to me? What if the clue we needed had been in that part? You're a total fucking moron!
Yay! Another inventory slot gone. At least we have a couple packrats with us now.
Thanks minister, but I still think you're a dick.
More words? Are they relevant?
Don't we have to do that anyways?
Yeah defeating anything and everything total sounds easy.
New map: