Putting the 'role' back in role-playing games since 2002.
Donate to Codex
Good Old Games
  • Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.

Let's Play Skyrim: Anders Breivik Victorious

Admiral jimbob

gay as all hell
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
9,225
Location
truck stops and toilet stalls
Wasteland 2
Part 2: http://www.rpgcodex.net/phpBB/viewtopic ... 00#1869400
Part 3: http://www.rpgcodex.net/phpBB/viewtopic ... 58#1873258
Part 4: http://www.rpgcodex.net/phpBB/viewtopic ... 19#1875119
Part 5: http://www.rpgcodex.net/phpBB/viewtopic ... 66#1876366

pgtte_v3_map_skyrim.jpg
sweden-map.gif


Once, long ago, in the frozen lands of the North where men are proud, hearty and Aryan, there was a crisis.

eu-eun.gif


The foreign invaders came, as invaders do, in the name of a bloated and multicultural Empire. Their way of life was the only way acceptable under the new order, cultural beliefs branded unacceptable to the ways of the aliens we must now call neighbours. What it meant to be a true man of the North was phased out - slowly, at first, almost imperceptibly - then more and more outrageously. By the time anyone grasped the reality, it was all too late. The great, multicultural Empire had us in its grasp, and it seemed that freedom was a goal we could only dream of, or escape to in death. For at least they could not take Valhalla from us.

ZUP6L.jpg


The outlawing of the worship of our god-king, he who marched from the east to establish a glorious kaiserdom in the name of glory and honour, washing the world clean of lesser beings... that was one affront too many.

SJU3W.jpg


It came as a surprise to few when the reptilians revealed themselves. Greedily hoarding their gold, lying dormant for years and waiting for civilisation to destroy itself at their prodding, they rose to attack the North in force. Inspired by their brutal religious belief, which states that they must destroy reality to attain salvation, and that such will only occur when they return as one to their ancestral home, they are coming. They are rising.

A rebellion must begin, before all we hold dear is annihilated.

A hero must rise.

Anders-Breivik-300x203.jpg


Hailed as BROvakhiin, a hero foretold in prophecy, he was granted the power of the BRO SHOUT in the North's time of greatest need. Some say this power was granted by the gods themselves.

49.gif
: BRO HOW ARE YOU


Djuql.jpg
: Who... who are you? This is surreal.

49.gif
: IF YOU ARE A TRUE BRO YOU WILL NOT USE THAT WORD AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE

Djuql.jpg
: I'm... sorry? What do you want from me?

49.gif
: I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE MY BRO AND SPREAD THE WORD OF MY TEACHINGS IT IS TIME TO TAKE THE FIGHT TO THE DOGFUCKERS

Djuql.jpg
: could... could it be? Are you BLOBERT? Manliest of men, broest of bros?

49.gif
: YOU KNOW IT BRO!! NO TIME TO CHAT I HAVE A BABY TO PUT TO BED, JUST REMMBER OUR CREED: IT IS TIME TO DRINK BEER AND KICK ASS AND I AM NEVER OUT OF BEER

skyrim21.jpg


With that, our hero set out to Windhelm, home of Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak and the rebel army.

skyrim4.jpg


skyrim5.jpg


Anders has not been idle in his time as BROvakhiin up to this point. The Black Panthers and their vile leader, Archmagister Obamanation, are but a distant memory to the people of Skyrim.

skyrim7.jpg


skyrim6.jpg


This is Galmar, who will be giving us our orders for now. He's having a conversation with Jarl Ulfric about retrieving a legendary crown worn by the High Kings of Skyrim, that he might wear to persuade the people of his legitimacy as leader. Unfortunately, we only get to hear half this conversation. Mainly because Jarl Ulfric is in bed and Galmar is talking to a table.

skyrim8.jpg


skyrim9.jpg


My god... we're serving under the avatar of :retarded: !

Most wannabe Stormcloaks have to undergo a trial to prove their worth and dedication, swimming out to a forlorn island and battling an ice wraith. Fortunately, Anders skipped this trial, as he has already proven his dedication to the cause through what is, when you think about it, a remarkably similar series of events.

Djuql.jpg
: are you saying you sent me out there to die?

:retarded: : I wasn't sure your heart was in it. But you've proven me wrong. And I respect that. Before you're one of us, you must swear fealty to Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak, future High King of Skyrim.

Djuql.jpg
: I'm ready to take the oath.

:retarded: : That's the spirit. By swearing this oath you become one of us. A hero of the people. A true son of Skyrim. A Stormcloak.

Djuql.jpg
: I do swear my blood and honour to the service of Ulfric Stormcloak, Lord of Windhelm and true High King of Skyrim. As Talos is my witness, may this oath bind me to death and beyond, even to my lord as to my fellow brothers and sisters in arms. All hail the Stormcloaks, the true sons and daughters of Skyrim!

Join us next time as Anders Breivik sets out with his fellow Stormcloaks to recover the legendary crown and pop whatever moles stand in their way. Will Anders master the way of the BRO? Will Ulfric realise just what he has taken under his wing? Will the pavement crack open under my feet and spill me into the depths of hell for this? Find out next time as we play through Skyrim's Stormcloak rebellion questline!
 

Black

Arcane
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
1,872,592
If it's Rimjob-san LPing skyrim even I can stomach the :retarded:
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
YEAAAAAAAAAAH





I think you should try to keep all the portraits the same size, though, it looks better.
 

Darth Roxor

Royal Dongsmith
Staff Member
Joined
May 29, 2008
Messages
1,878,406
Location
Djibouti
root said:
could you make the screenshots a bit larger? the text is hard to read

Now that you mention it...

skyrim5.jpg


This does look like 'you are a herp to us all'. Or perhaps that's intentional :it is a mystery:
 

Wyrmlord

Arcane
Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Messages
28,886
Re: Let's Play Skyrim: Anders Breivik's Stormcloak Rebellion

Admiral jimbob said:
49.gif
: BRO HOW ARE YOU


Djuql.jpg
: Who... who are you? This is surreal.

49.gif
: IF YOU ARE A TRUE BRO YOU WILL NOT USE THAT WORD AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE
Perfect delivery.
 

Admiral jimbob

gay as all hell
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
9,225
Location
truck stops and toilet stalls
Wasteland 2
Anders sets out to meet the Stormcloaks and venture forth in search of the Jagged Crown. He has a Dunmer in tow, a priest of Mara; an unorthodox companion, to be sure, but a mer who has proven his devotion to Skyrim again and again. Anders is no common or garden racist; if you call Skyrim your home, you are fit to call him brother. Race and creed are but secondary.

Unless you're a Bosmer.

After all, Hitler was Austrian.

skyrimagain3.jpg



skyrimagain4.jpg


Girly-man! Anders Breivik has no time for girly-men.


Djuql.jpg
: What are you talking about, girly-man?

Optimized-Dandelion.jpg
: These old ruins... my father always told me to stay away from them. Good advice, I'd say.


Optimized-Dandelion.jpg
: but never mind all that! We've got a job to do, and nothing's going to stand in our way.


skyrimagain7.jpg



:retarded: : Listen up! Those Imperials aren't here by coincidence.

:retarded: : their spies must've found out about the Crown, and they don't want us to have it. But they won't stand in our way.

:retarded: : I know some of you are ex-legion and may know men on the other side. But remember this. They are the enemy now and will not hesitate to kill you.

:retarded: : keep your wits about you and watch your shield-brother's back.

:retarded: : Ulfric Stormcloak is counting on us to bring him back that Crown, and that's exactly what we're going to do!


skyrimagain13.jpg



skyrimagain14.jpg



skyrimagain15.jpg


Anders summons a Dremora Lord, conjures a bound sword and draws his ebony sword. The Imperials fall before his glory like melting snow in the furnace of justice.



skyrimagain16.jpg



With the Imperials outside taken care of, Anders and the gang proceed into the crypt.


skyrimagain18.jpg


Anders' Dunmer companion notices the scrutiny and scowls of the Stormcloaks, and nervously dances a jig. No, really, he dances. I don't know why he does. If you leave him alone for ten seconds he starts fucking dancing. I don't know.


skyrimagain19.jpg



skyrimagain20.jpg



skyrimagain22.jpg


Anders shows off his manly dual-wielding skills. I deeply regret going into third person for these screenshots, it looks like something out of a bloody anime. I don't think Anders likes anime much.

:retarded: : Gretta, Engar, stay and guard the entrance. We don't want any Imperial reinforcements taking us by surprise.

skyrimagain24.jpg



skyrimagain25.jpg



skyrimagain27.jpg


Anders was never entirely sure what :retarded: was talking about by this. He ran into the room and killed three Imperials. There have been more Imperials than that in every encounter so far. Maybe we missed a room? It would be quite a bad ambush room if we could entirely skip it. But this is quite a bad quest, so that can't really be ruled out. Onward!



skyrimagain30.jpg


Someone else is killing Imperials. Could the dead of the tomb be walking? Yes.


skyrimagain31.jpg



YAAARghghghAAWWWWRghghghghAAAAAArrrrggghaaar!!!


skyrimagain32.jpg


Anders' pet Dunmer gets hit by a swinging axe trap. He was immortal during the quest in which we picked him up (Vaermina's), and logic would dictate that, when he became a permanent companion with no relevant quest, the immortal flag would be switched off, like it was with many NPCs even in Fallout 3. However, this would require some slight grasp of logical thought and a sense of "balance", and as such, is not the case.


skyrimagain34.jpg



Oh good I recognise this corridor



skyrimagain35.jpg


Yep here we go


skyrimagain36.jpg



Wasn't that fucking innovative god bless Bethesda's new and improved hand-crafted unique dungeons

skyrimagain37.jpg



yeah I'm a goddamn Nordic genius I've done that puzzle seven fucking times

skyrimagain38.jpg


Anders, proving once more his goddamn Nordic genius, walks up a flight of stairs and pulls a lever.


skyrimagain39.jpg



skyrimagain40.jpg


And it's zombie time! We're breaking new ground here, folks.


skyrimagain41.jpg


The throne room, at last. Our Stormtroopers spread out and begin searching for the Crown. Anders spreads out and begins searching for the mandated single chest of awesome loot that lies at the end of every single dungeon. That's not really a complaint, I guess. Just makes the whole setup feel a bit... artificial?


skyrimagain42.jpg



skyrimagain43.jpg


What has girlyman done? I'm... not sure he did anything, actually. He's alive and well.


skyrimagain44.jpg



skyrimagain45.jpg


A Deathlord! These draugr are bad news. They take a lot of damage, deal insane amounts - the ones with bows, for some reason, consistently one-shot Anders even if he has the Ironskin protection spell up and is wearing armour - and can use shouts, including a hideously annoying disarming one. But Anders is BROvakhiin, and fights fire with fire!

Djuql.jpg
: BROS, UNRELENTING BROS

skyrimagain46.jpg



skyrimagain48.jpg


And here we have it!


skyrimagain49.jpg


God these things get more and more flamboyantly gay every game.


skyrimagain51.jpg


Aha... what's this?

49.gif
: BRO THAT WAS AWESOME YOU KICKED ASS

Djuql.jpg
: I dedicate my victory to you, BROlord!


49.gif
: HERE IS MY BOON GO FORTH AND NAIL BITCHES IN MY NAME

skyrimagain52.jpg



Djuql.jpg
: My Lord, I would not question your judgement, but have you granted me... bullet time? Is that not a tool of our hated enemy?

49.gif
: AS MY MENTOR BATMAN ONCE SAID: TO CONQUER POPAMOLE YOU MUST BECOME POPAMOLE

Djuql.jpg
: Praise be!

skyrimagain53.jpg


Anders returns to Jarl Geert Wilders' palace.


skyrimagain54.jpg



They... they what? I honestly don't know. Fuck it.

skyrimagain55.jpg



1T96r.jpg
: Soon enough we will march on Solitude. And on that day the heroes of Sovngarde will march with us, and the Empire will fall to its knees in fear.

Djuql.jpg
: Here's the Jagged Crown. I believe you owe Galmar a drink?

1T96r.jpg
: Damn him - the old bear was right! Now then... I have a message I need delivered to the Jarl of Whiterun. Deliver this axe to Balgruuf the Greater.

Djuql.jpg
: an axe?

JC%20Denton.jpg
: an axe!

1T96r.jpg
: yes, an axe. How long have you been in Skyrim? Give the man my axe.

Djuql.jpg
: is this a euphemism?

1T96r.jpg
: if he keeps it, I will bide my time. If he returns it to you, it means war.

Djuql.jpg
: this is a euphemism.

1T96r.jpg
: men who understand each other often have no need for words.

Djuql.jpg
: we are at the point where this entire speech would only make sense if it was a fucking euphemism.

1T96r.jpg
: Balgruuf will know my meaning. Keep your wits about you - the Jarl of Whiterun is known for his temper.

Well this is moronic.

On the way out of town, Anders stops in at the market to sell off some loot. While there, he is accosted by what appears to be a strong, beardy, proud Nord.

skyrimagain78.jpg



skyrimagain79.jpg



skyrimagain80.jpg


Anders is angry, and feels like there is a lack of respect going around town, for both him and Geert Wilders. Anders resolves to fix this situation.

Anders is a keen lad, and one full of genuine passion for his cause. But he's cursed with something of a lack of imagination. When he's upset, and something is bothering him on an idealogical level and he can't lash out at anyone in particular for causing it, he tends to default to his favourite targets. It's more of an activity born of habit than any real malice. Before you judge him, walk a mile in his shoes.

skyrimagain81.jpg



skyrimagain84.jpg


skyrimagain1.jpg
 

Wyrmlord

Arcane
Joined
Feb 3, 2008
Messages
28,886
Clever use of Geert Wilders and JC Denton there. I laughed a full minute seeing you use Geert Wilders as Ulfric's avatar.

Now, I thought that the white European nationalist angle is just something you inserted.

However, when I saw the "Skyrim for Nords" part, it suddenly sounds like Skyrim really is a parable on multiculturalism, immigration, and xenophobism in the West today. And your usage of Wilders and Breivik seems less humourous and more obvious.
 

Admiral jimbob

gay as all hell
Joined
Sep 29, 2009
Messages
9,225
Location
truck stops and toilet stalls
Wasteland 2
I've held off on talking heads in previous LPs, don't really like them much myself, but the Jarl's dialogue there alone was about 30 screenshots. Enough is enough.

No idea why the screenshots are coming out so badly, will fiddle with it.
 

As an Amazon Associate, rpgcodex.net earns from qualifying purchases.
Back
Top Bottom