It's that time of the year again...
THAT TIME WHEN THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT US GEMINI RUE...
... AND PRIMORDIA...
... ALSO BRING US...!!
(... loadung...)
STRANGELAND!
Pressing new game leads to this ~dramatic~ close-up on the spooky skull.
and then cuts to this sad guy
Dude's eyes don't open as lightning flashes, zero convention points earned
In fact he just opens his eyes without any fanfare, how droll.
Dude takes a look around.
And rises to the occasion!
Gotta smooth your rock-star hair before moving on.
wot da zog
I don't wanna tell you anything at all. But you know the problem with me? I never could keep my big mouth shut! GAHEEHEEHAW!
That's one hell of a welcome carpet.
Not very inviting.
Also, the VO on the clown is very apt. Sounds like Mark Hamill's Joker except deeper and terribly hungover.
Talking to the clown produces nothing of worth.
Hello?
Leave me alone. I already told you a joke!
Also nothing much around the gate, just a handbill on the left.
It says: "Not all attractions are suitable to all ages. Visitors are encouraged to exercise judgement." Pretty vague, as warnings go.
And a poster next to it.
It's an ad for "Nepenthe™". It reads: "Quaff, oh quaff this fine Nepenthe™. Win a bottle today at the Shooting Gallery!"
Well then, might as well go in.
What do we have here...
D:
that said, and with a single tear rolling down her cheek...
the woman plunges into the well
Dude looks inside.
She's gone...
what the-
Merely dead.
Reassuring!
Again and again she comes to this well, to weep and leap at the sound of the shriek. Which of you will save the other?
The thingamajig goes silent.
This thingamajig.
Coin-operated and we just so happen to lack coinage. Sad! Where's my minimum assured income?!
There's also this crow here. It's kind of easy to miss at first.
A large crow.
Raven!
now that's almost as bad as misgendering it
Uhh... hello?
Sticks and stones will make me groan, but words will never move me.
And that's all it's willing to say.
Inspecting the well again...
There's something moving down there, and a hint of golden light.
Perhaps we could grab it?
It's a long way down, but I could give it a shot.
Yet before the dude can do anything...!
(actually can't refuse the call in-game)
The fellow on the other end sounds suspiciously much like the protagonist. And he proceeds to hurl a torrent of abuse at him...
The thing you have to understand is: this is all your fault. You miss all the obvious signs. You let everything slip through your fingers. And you're no good at fixing things. That's why she's dead. That's why you're here. Right? Anyway, I'll call again later. But if you need help, and you *will* need help... "Please hang up and press 0 to dial your operator."
Wait!
But the call ends.
He sounded just like me.
The phone can in fact be used. Pressing zero probably brings up some kind of faggot hint system for wimps, and we're not using any of that. Gotta have muh zero hint cheevos. Are there zero hint cheevos? Beats me.
However, obviously we have to report what's happened to the authorities!
... the phone actually starts ringing
911. Please state the nature of your emergency.
A... a woman. I think she's killed herself.
Can you identify the victim?
I..., I...
Sir? Who is she?
I don't know.
Well, where are you, sir?
It's... aah... it's hard to say.
Smoooooooooth
Sir, we can't help you if you can't tell us what's going on.
She hangs up.
Wow, thanks for nothing, assholes. DEFUND THE POLICE!
Guess we're on our own. Where the hell to go from here?
THAT TIME WHEN THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT US GEMINI RUE...
... AND PRIMORDIA...
... ALSO BRING US...!!
(... loadung...)
STRANGELAND!
Pressing new game leads to this ~dramatic~ close-up on the spooky skull.
and then cuts to this sad guy
Dude's eyes don't open as lightning flashes, zero convention points earned
In fact he just opens his eyes without any fanfare, how droll.
Dude takes a look around.
And rises to the occasion!
Gotta smooth your rock-star hair before moving on.
wot da zog
That's one hell of a welcome carpet.
Also, the VO on the clown is very apt. Sounds like Mark Hamill's Joker except deeper and terribly hungover.
Talking to the clown produces nothing of worth.
Also nothing much around the gate, just a handbill on the left.
And a poster next to it.
Well then, might as well go in.
What do we have here...
D:
that said, and with a single tear rolling down her cheek...
the woman plunges into the well
Dude looks inside.
what the-
Reassuring!
The thingamajig goes silent.
This thingamajig.
Coin-operated and we just so happen to lack coinage. Sad! Where's my minimum assured income?!
There's also this crow here. It's kind of easy to miss at first.
now that's almost as bad as misgendering it
And that's all it's willing to say.
Inspecting the well again...
Perhaps we could grab it?
Yet before the dude can do anything...!
(actually can't refuse the call in-game)
The fellow on the other end sounds suspiciously much like the protagonist. And he proceeds to hurl a torrent of abuse at him...
But the call ends.
The phone can in fact be used. Pressing zero probably brings up some kind of faggot hint system for wimps, and we're not using any of that. Gotta have muh zero hint cheevos. Are there zero hint cheevos? Beats me.
However, obviously we have to report what's happened to the authorities!
... the phone actually starts ringing
Smoooooooooth
She hangs up.
Wow, thanks for nothing, assholes. DEFUND THE POLICE!
Guess we're on our own. Where the hell to go from here?