Silellak
Cipher
Let's Play Ultima VII...on the Super Nintendo!
A bit of history on this one, personal and otherwise. Ultima 7 and Ultima 7 Part 2 are two of my all-time favorite games.
There is a lesser-known release of Ultima 7 for the Super Nintendo that came out about two years after the PC release. It has also been released on the PSP as part of the EA Replay series. Knowing that there's no chance Origin would've allowed for an inferior port of what is arguably their greatest game of all time, I begin the SNES port with high hopes.
Table of Contents:
Part 1: In which we arrive in Trinsic
Part 2: In which we investigate the "kidnapping", are taunted by a basement slime, and flee the city of Trinsic
Part 3: In which we face talking snakes, take our first sidequest, and earn our first magic item
Part 4: In which we explore a Britain the size of Paws, meet Lord British, finally learn some spells, and take to the skies!
Part 5: In which we descend into our first dungeon, face off with Bouncing Green Horrors, and get our Jesus on
Part 6: In which we blow up some walls, find some better armor, and play Captain Planet in more ways than one
Part 7: In which we slay a dragon, see our future, and investigate another "kidnapping"
Part 8: In which we encounter another Companion of the Avatar, foil a corrupt shipwright, and there is an Extra Special Bonus
Part 9: In which we explore the depths of Destard, return to Batlinwith for our prize, and acquire a new means of transportation
Part 10: In which we continue to chase Elizabeth and Abraham
Part 11: In which we almost break a side quest, visit a pirate island with no pirates, and the Guardian becomes a needy ex-girlfriend
Part 12: In which we explore the humor capital of Britannia, discuss the Guardian with trolls, and meet up with theEwoks Emps
Part 13: In which we visit the Ruined City of Skara Brae and embrace our inner Ghostbuster
Part 14: In which we explore the worst dungeon to date, meet Dr. Who, and there is another fiendishmurder kidnapping
Part 15: In which we face Fears of the Unknown variety, abuse Internet memes, and face our toughest foe yet
Part 16: In which we retrieve the Hourglass, destroy the Sphere, and visit the USS Serpent's Hold
Part 17: In which we finish this awful fucking game and never have to play it again
Part 1: In which we arrive in Trinsic
Yay Origin!
Yay...who?
Yay crazy guy with castle!
Hey cool, the butterfly. I remember the butterfly from the PC intro. See? Everything's going to be fine.
Did...did the butterfly just explode? I think it did that before in the PC intro, right? Perfectly normal. Nothing to worry about.
SHIT. I must have a broken ROM. Technical difficulties, we'll be right back after...
...oh, nevermind. OH FUCK IT'S HELLBOY.
This was a bit cooler when the face actually came out of the screen. And the dialog was voiced. But you know, sometimes you gotta work within the limits you're given.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Dude, I've read the UW2 LP. I know we're going to stop you and then a year later you're going to encase the castle in Blackrock or whatever.
Wait, so you are the Master? Or the Guardian? Fuck I'm so confused. I think you're a good guy though, right?
I remember this logo! I just press "Start" and I should go to character creation and naming...
...uh what. So I guess I'm a male avatar. Named...Avatar? Maybe? Whatever. It's Iolo! Sweet! First party member.
Crime? Oh yeah that's right! Ultima 7 starts off with a ritualistic murder! I remember now. Fucking dark way to start a game.
Right, right, Christopher and his little gargoyle bitch Inamo got murder...what, kidnapped? No, surely you mean murdered. Kidnapping would be...retarded. I'm sure I'll find their dead bodies soon.
Yeah yeah whatever just digging through the dialog until I see "join". I want my fucking party!
I would never forget Author-Insertion-Fantasy Persona A!
The Fellowship? Whatever. Sounds nice enough to me. Shamin...oh, you mean Author-Insertion-Fantasy Persona B!
Ask everyone? Like, in the world? That seems totally reasonable, and I'm sure I'll do just that.
If I head that way? The fuck you on about? You're coming with me. You're one of the three major companions of the Avatar. Surely thou doth jest...eth.
WELL I AM SURE HE WILL BE GLAD TO SEE YOU SINCE YOU ARE COMING WITH ME RIGHT.
Guardian? Wait, that red-faced fuck from the intro? How does the Avatar know about that? Is the Avatar supposed to be me? Or was the game briefly in a first-person perspective for the intro? Actually wait why or how am I even here? Hellboy was talking to me and then suddenly I was walking through a red gate? I'm so confused. Hold me, Iolo. Just hold me.
Yes you're a naughty bard aren't you.
What happens if I select "Again", you're wondering? We start the conversation over from the very beginning! How super convenient...if you can't remember what happened 5 seconds ago, I guess. I wonder how many times the Avatar can ask someone to start over before they start to question his world-saving ability?
The "Join" doesn't seem to come up yet with Iolo, but I'm sure it will eventually. Maybe after I solve the murd--kidnapping. No way they'd make an Ultima 7 game without a party. No one could ever do something so ridiculous.
Here is our standard screen. It looks like we have 2 hearts. I guess I need to find more heart containers. No idea what the ankhs are...like...virtue points I lose if I steal shit? Maybe? Or could it be a mana bar? Who the fuck knows. This game is too awesome to care about the little things. I also have a convenient "Gold" and "Key" counter. This is already so much better than the PC version.
The inventory screen. Check out that Orb of the Moons. Awesome. If I remember, that opens moongates, right? Is that how I got here? I guess? Doesn't fucking matter. I press Y to use it.
Thanks for the super-helpful tip! Now I know not to throw it away or sell it or whatever Avatars do with random shit they start off with.
Like all good Avatars, I enter the closest random house. There's a brief loading animation while it loads the new map. Uh. Platform limitations again? No bigee, though.
IOLO TOLD ME TO ASK ABOUT FELLOWSHIP AND THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO.
WOW THAT'S NOT CREEPY AT ALL. I guess they ramped up the subtle foreshadowing regarding the less-than-benevolent true nature of the Fellowship. Makes sense...some might argue that it was too subtle in the PC version. Most people like to be slammed in the face repeatedly with story points to make sure nothing is missed.
I'm just going to go downstairs to rob yo--I mean check out your house WAIT WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE GREMLINS DOWN HERE WE'RE IN TOWN OH GOD I'M UNARMED BUT I CAN DO THIS.
What.
The.
Fucking.
Shit.
Okay. Died 5 minutes in. No problem. Combat in Ultima 7 was always a...mixed bag anyway. Let's look around some before we face those Gremlins again.
This sign says this is the stables I'm supposed to investigate.
Uh. These are stables? For what, exactly? Hamsters? And where's my violent, ritualistic murder scene? Oh right. Kidnapping.
I wonder if I can get water from the wells like the PC version. Uh. Is that a hammer? In the well? How did--you know what? Nevermind. It's a fucking weapon, I'll take it. GREMLINS BEWARE.
"Looks as though it is empty now." So like, there's no water in it or anything? Why is there even a well then?
FEAR ME.
RAAR I'M A WARRIOR.
In the well behind the Gremlin house there is 6 gold and...a fucking skeleton? HEY IOLO. I THINK I FOUND YOUR KIDNAP VICTIMS. I TOLD YOU IT WAS A FUCKING MURDER YOU STUPID OLD FUCK. WILL YOU PLEASE JOIN MY PARTY NOW.
I return to the Gremlin House. And loot it. HEY A BOOK.
This Fellowship book sure is short. Wonder how they convinced so many people to join?
Bring it on you little shit.
DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT. Thank you for conveniently turning into a pile of gold. I will now loot the basement as per my original plan.
Dagger. I'm moving up in the world. Watch out, bitches.
HEY LADY THERE WERE SOME GREMLINS IN YOUR BASEMENT. What's with that? Come down with me and take a loo--
OH GOD THEY'RE BACK WHY ARE THEY BACK ARE THEY ZOMBIE GREMLINS ARE THEY BREEDING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. All the shit I took is back too! Best theft-protection ever.
More gold for the Avatar.
HELLO GUARD PLEASE LET ME OUT OF TOWN IT IS FULL OF FAST-BREEDING AND/OR UNDEAD GREMLINS.
Password? So like the copy protection from the PC version or something? Shit. I have to solve this stupid murd--kidnapping first? Eh, I can fake this. How many words can the English language have?
Iolo told me to ask everyone about the Fellowship. Clearly, this was a clue meant to aid in my escape from this Gremlin Town of Horrors.
YOU WILL NOT LET ME LEAVE? THEN PERISH.
...I can't seem to hurt you. I guess this is better than the PC version, where you could kill anyone, and potentially lock yourself out o--
--you know what, guys? Call me crazy, but...I'm...I'm starting to think this may not be a very good game after all.
Next time (if I can stomach any more): Solving of the Mur--Kidnapping, and the Daring Escape from Trinsic!
A bit of history on this one, personal and otherwise. Ultima 7 and Ultima 7 Part 2 are two of my all-time favorite games.
There is a lesser-known release of Ultima 7 for the Super Nintendo that came out about two years after the PC release. It has also been released on the PSP as part of the EA Replay series. Knowing that there's no chance Origin would've allowed for an inferior port of what is arguably their greatest game of all time, I begin the SNES port with high hopes.
Table of Contents:
Part 1: In which we arrive in Trinsic
Part 2: In which we investigate the "kidnapping", are taunted by a basement slime, and flee the city of Trinsic
Part 3: In which we face talking snakes, take our first sidequest, and earn our first magic item
Part 4: In which we explore a Britain the size of Paws, meet Lord British, finally learn some spells, and take to the skies!
Part 5: In which we descend into our first dungeon, face off with Bouncing Green Horrors, and get our Jesus on
Part 6: In which we blow up some walls, find some better armor, and play Captain Planet in more ways than one
Part 7: In which we slay a dragon, see our future, and investigate another "kidnapping"
Part 8: In which we encounter another Companion of the Avatar, foil a corrupt shipwright, and there is an Extra Special Bonus
Part 9: In which we explore the depths of Destard, return to Batlin
Part 10: In which we continue to chase Eliza
Part 11: In which we almost break a side quest, visit a pirate island with no pirates, and the Guardian becomes a needy ex-girlfriend
Part 12: In which we explore the humor capital of Britannia, discuss the Guardian with trolls, and meet up with the
Part 13: In which we visit the Ruined City of Skara Brae and embrace our inner Ghostbuster
Part 14: In which we explore the worst dungeon to date, meet Dr. Who, and there is another fiendish
Part 15: In which we face Fears of the Unknown variety, abuse Internet memes, and face our toughest foe yet
Part 16: In which we retrieve the Hourglass, destroy the Sphere, and visit the USS Serpent's Hold
Part 17: In which we finish this awful fucking game and never have to play it again
Part 1: In which we arrive in Trinsic
Yay Origin!
Yay...who?
Yay crazy guy with castle!
Hey cool, the butterfly. I remember the butterfly from the PC intro. See? Everything's going to be fine.
Did...did the butterfly just explode? I think it did that before in the PC intro, right? Perfectly normal. Nothing to worry about.
SHIT. I must have a broken ROM. Technical difficulties, we'll be right back after...
...oh, nevermind. OH FUCK IT'S HELLBOY.
This was a bit cooler when the face actually came out of the screen. And the dialog was voiced. But you know, sometimes you gotta work within the limits you're given.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Dude, I've read the UW2 LP. I know we're going to stop you and then a year later you're going to encase the castle in Blackrock or whatever.
Wait, so you are the Master? Or the Guardian? Fuck I'm so confused. I think you're a good guy though, right?
I remember this logo! I just press "Start" and I should go to character creation and naming...
...uh what. So I guess I'm a male avatar. Named...Avatar? Maybe? Whatever. It's Iolo! Sweet! First party member.
Crime? Oh yeah that's right! Ultima 7 starts off with a ritualistic murder! I remember now. Fucking dark way to start a game.
Right, right, Christopher and his little gargoyle bitch Inamo got murder...what, kidnapped? No, surely you mean murdered. Kidnapping would be...retarded. I'm sure I'll find their dead bodies soon.
Yeah yeah whatever just digging through the dialog until I see "join". I want my fucking party!
I would never forget Author-Insertion-Fantasy Persona A!
The Fellowship? Whatever. Sounds nice enough to me. Shamin...oh, you mean Author-Insertion-Fantasy Persona B!
Ask everyone? Like, in the world? That seems totally reasonable, and I'm sure I'll do just that.
If I head that way? The fuck you on about? You're coming with me. You're one of the three major companions of the Avatar. Surely thou doth jest...eth.
WELL I AM SURE HE WILL BE GLAD TO SEE YOU SINCE YOU ARE COMING WITH ME RIGHT.
Guardian? Wait, that red-faced fuck from the intro? How does the Avatar know about that? Is the Avatar supposed to be me? Or was the game briefly in a first-person perspective for the intro? Actually wait why or how am I even here? Hellboy was talking to me and then suddenly I was walking through a red gate? I'm so confused. Hold me, Iolo. Just hold me.
Yes you're a naughty bard aren't you.
What happens if I select "Again", you're wondering? We start the conversation over from the very beginning! How super convenient...if you can't remember what happened 5 seconds ago, I guess. I wonder how many times the Avatar can ask someone to start over before they start to question his world-saving ability?
The "Join" doesn't seem to come up yet with Iolo, but I'm sure it will eventually. Maybe after I solve the murd--kidnapping. No way they'd make an Ultima 7 game without a party. No one could ever do something so ridiculous.
Here is our standard screen. It looks like we have 2 hearts. I guess I need to find more heart containers. No idea what the ankhs are...like...virtue points I lose if I steal shit? Maybe? Or could it be a mana bar? Who the fuck knows. This game is too awesome to care about the little things. I also have a convenient "Gold" and "Key" counter. This is already so much better than the PC version.
The inventory screen. Check out that Orb of the Moons. Awesome. If I remember, that opens moongates, right? Is that how I got here? I guess? Doesn't fucking matter. I press Y to use it.
Thanks for the super-helpful tip! Now I know not to throw it away or sell it or whatever Avatars do with random shit they start off with.
Like all good Avatars, I enter the closest random house. There's a brief loading animation while it loads the new map. Uh. Platform limitations again? No bigee, though.
IOLO TOLD ME TO ASK ABOUT FELLOWSHIP AND THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO.
WOW THAT'S NOT CREEPY AT ALL. I guess they ramped up the subtle foreshadowing regarding the less-than-benevolent true nature of the Fellowship. Makes sense...some might argue that it was too subtle in the PC version. Most people like to be slammed in the face repeatedly with story points to make sure nothing is missed.
I'm just going to go downstairs to rob yo--I mean check out your house WAIT WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE GREMLINS DOWN HERE WE'RE IN TOWN OH GOD I'M UNARMED BUT I CAN DO THIS.
What.
The.
Fucking.
Shit.
Okay. Died 5 minutes in. No problem. Combat in Ultima 7 was always a...mixed bag anyway. Let's look around some before we face those Gremlins again.
This sign says this is the stables I'm supposed to investigate.
Uh. These are stables? For what, exactly? Hamsters? And where's my violent, ritualistic murder scene? Oh right. Kidnapping.
I wonder if I can get water from the wells like the PC version. Uh. Is that a hammer? In the well? How did--you know what? Nevermind. It's a fucking weapon, I'll take it. GREMLINS BEWARE.
"Looks as though it is empty now." So like, there's no water in it or anything? Why is there even a well then?
FEAR ME.
RAAR I'M A WARRIOR.
In the well behind the Gremlin house there is 6 gold and...a fucking skeleton? HEY IOLO. I THINK I FOUND YOUR KIDNAP VICTIMS. I TOLD YOU IT WAS A FUCKING MURDER YOU STUPID OLD FUCK. WILL YOU PLEASE JOIN MY PARTY NOW.
I return to the Gremlin House. And loot it. HEY A BOOK.
This Fellowship book sure is short. Wonder how they convinced so many people to join?
Bring it on you little shit.
DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT. Thank you for conveniently turning into a pile of gold. I will now loot the basement as per my original plan.
Dagger. I'm moving up in the world. Watch out, bitches.
HEY LADY THERE WERE SOME GREMLINS IN YOUR BASEMENT. What's with that? Come down with me and take a loo--
OH GOD THEY'RE BACK WHY ARE THEY BACK ARE THEY ZOMBIE GREMLINS ARE THEY BREEDING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. All the shit I took is back too! Best theft-protection ever.
More gold for the Avatar.
HELLO GUARD PLEASE LET ME OUT OF TOWN IT IS FULL OF FAST-BREEDING AND/OR UNDEAD GREMLINS.
Password? So like the copy protection from the PC version or something? Shit. I have to solve this stupid murd--kidnapping first? Eh, I can fake this. How many words can the English language have?
Iolo told me to ask everyone about the Fellowship. Clearly, this was a clue meant to aid in my escape from this Gremlin Town of Horrors.
YOU WILL NOT LET ME LEAVE? THEN PERISH.
...I can't seem to hurt you. I guess this is better than the PC version, where you could kill anyone, and potentially lock yourself out o--
--you know what, guys? Call me crazy, but...I'm...I'm starting to think this may not be a very good game after all.
Next time (if I can stomach any more): Solving of the Mur--Kidnapping, and the Daring Escape from Trinsic!