Completed Let's Play Warhammer: Shadow of the Horned Rat

[Ivar the Boner]

Welcome to the uber old-school LP of Shadow of the Horned Rat using Windows 98 and MS fucking PAINT.

First of all I have to warn you that there is no bloody chance I will be able to finish this game, also I won't ironman it and I reserve myself a right to redo every mission until I get satisfying results. And I'm also sorry for my terrible engrish but I am potatolander untermanschen, so, deal with it.

Now, let's do this shit...
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Protect The Shnappleburg (Briefing)
Protect The Shnappleburg (Battle)
Escort To Holst (Briefing)
Escort To Holst (Ambush 1)
Escort To Holst (Ambush 2)
Capture Otto Hiln (Briefing)
Capture Otto Hiln (Battle)
Patrol (Briefing)
Patrol (Ambush 1)
Patrol (Ambush 2)
Rescue Ilmarin (Briefing)
Rescue Ilmarin (Battle)
Orc Pursuit (Briefing)
Orc Pursuit (Battle)
Revenge
Vanberg (Briefing)
Vanberg (Battle)
Against The Grain
Bridge Over the River Weiss (Briefing)
Bridge Over the River Weiss (Battle)
March to Zhufbar (Briefing)
March to Zhufbar (Ambush)
March to Zhufbar (Ambush 2)
Counterattack
March to Zhufbar (Cont.)
Squatter's Right's
Grumm's Gate
Rat Trap
Slave Assault
Iron Fort (Briefing)
Iront Fort (Battle)
Escort Engrol Goldtongue
Escort Engrol Goldtongue (Cont.)
Decoy
Bandits Hideout
Capture Guy Gourard
March To Loren (Ambush)
Extermination
Bugman's Brewery
Patrol Loren (Ambush)
Patrol Loren (Ambush 2)
Poisoned Wind
Rescue
Final Battle
Final Battle 2
-----------

PLOT:

Evil Turkish Skaven Vizier... Seer, puts in motion his master plan to take control of Zaporoże Border Princes and soak whole Rzeczpospolita... GOD DAMMIT! Empire, in blood. To do this he uses terrible powers of Warpstone to make Ukrainian Ataman Orcish Warlord do his bidding.

Right now though, we don't know any of this shit, and it will take a while before we get engulfed in this most horrible plot. But... who are "we"?

THE HEROES:

Commander:

Name: Jarema
Height: 180 cm
Weight: 80 kg
Age: 40

Leader of mercenary band called "The Grudgebringers". Veteran warrior and expert tactician, our hero, the deliverer, it's like killing Hitler...

Role: Main leader and Cavalry commander.

Unit:

Elite fighters, Grudgebringers armored fist and most trusted companions of Jarema.

Name: Wołodyjowski AKA "Schepke" AKA "Mały Rycerz"
Height: 156 cm
Weight: 65 kg
Age: 34

Veteran mercenary with years of service under his belt. Expert infantry commander and Grudgebringers secondary tactican.

Role: Secondary tacitan and infantry commander.

Unit:

Backbone of Grudgebringers mercenary army. Relaiable and though infantry... no really, fucking goblin stickers are able to rout them.

Name: Deitrich
Height: 160 cm
Weight: 48 kg

Grudgebringer's Paymaster.

Role: Jew.

That's it. No more units, that's all we have for now.

In next episode we will ask our Jew how much gold we have and then we shall embark on our first mission!

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION ONE: PROTECT THE SCHNAPPLEBURG (Briefing)

My Lord, I'v been approached by mayor of small village called Schnappleburg...

"Schnappleburg"? what self-respecting mayor would have name like that?

Village is called Schnappleburg, my Lord, not the mayor...

Oh... carry on then.

I'm tired of fighting for peasants and their ale money, but we don't have anything to do right now so gather the troops! TODAY WE DINE IN SHNAPPLEBURG!

As you can see right now we have 600 gold coins in our coffer, and we will have to pay our troops 320 coins for this mission, we could leave infantry so we would not have to pay them, but unfortunately we need every man for this mission, we can't afford to leave anyone behind. Anyway, reward should cover our expense.

This is order in which our troops will march to Schnappleburg, it is very important in case of ambush, but this is first mission so we should be fine.

In the next episode: THE BATTLE OF SCHNAPPLEBURG!

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION ONE: PROTECT SCHNAPPLEBURG (BATTLE)

FUN FACT: During this update MS Paint crashed, fucking windows 98.

Deitrich was right, the greenskins are here. Man! get on your position, don't let those dirty Ukrainians greenskins to kill any villager... its bad for business.

Schnappleburg overview. We start in south near the village itself. In upper right (near the forest) you can see greenskin banner, those are goblin stickers (I forgot to make a close-up of them, sorry)...

This is our battle plan, it's not much of a battle plan, but Schnappleburg is not much of a battle to be honest. Green lines means infantry, Red one means cav. "X" is where I will put regiment in deployment phase, the arrow point to place where they should go when the battle begins.
Right now we can see only one enemy regiment, infantry should take care of them, but I will send Jarema with his cav to the middle of the village, in case of something unexpected... *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

First thing I did was disabling "retarted mode" (AI control) of my regiments by clicking this "brain" icon. If you leave this on, your units will attack every enemy that gets close. Unfortunately we can't rotate our regiment's in deployment phase, we have to start battle to do this.

Regiments are now facing right direction, and battle has begun!

Sir! Goblin Wolf Riders, going straight for the village!

I will take care of them, get your man together and take care of enemy infantry!

Tak jest! (potatospeak)

Almost imidiately after starting battle Wołodyjowski informs us that he sees new enemy regiment - Goblin Wolf Riders.

That's exactly why we put Jarema near. Wolf riders go straight for the village so we have to just wait for them to get near, and crush them with cavalry (or get routed by them, shit happens). Meanwhile we order Wołodyjowski and his infantry to charge goblin stickers.

Charge! GIŃ PSI SYNU!

Epeek kombats. You can keep clicking "muscle" icon to overpower your regiment. It has this effect that it completely waste your fucking time, gods of RNG decides who win!.

Epeek picture.

Meanwhile Wolf riders got close enough for Jarema to use his magic sword which casts fireball (fucking munchkin, Jarema that is) and Wołodyjowski let us know that his infantry defeated and routed goblins.

Then we order Jarema to charge those miserable creatures.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkUjCmw-S00

Epeek museek.

Goblin wolf riders routed and Jarema chased down every one of them. While he was busy stomping over retreating goblin we send Wołodyjowski to the small pack of trees in near the village to retrieve magic sword (which is fucking invisible and you need a walkthrough to even know it's there, in the next episode we will take a closer look at this sword).

That's it, we completed our first assignment.

As you can see all villagers and buildings survived greenskin raid.

Even though Infantry killed more goblins, Cavalry got more experience, it's because they killed higher value troops. And we lost just one man, and it's actually good thing that he is dead instead of just wounded. You can replace your dead units in town straight away (but not all of them, usually 3 or 4 per regiment) while wounded units needs "one battle" of rest to get back, and you can get totally screwed by having half of your regiment wounded, you can't replace wounded soldiers, you have to wait for them to heal.

Well, we got 400 hundred gold coins for this mission, if you remember that we had to pay 320 coins for our units you can see that we did not made much of a profit. But at least our troops got some experience.

While we were drinking wódka in honor of our victory, evil was not wasting it's time...

 

[Hobbit Lord of Mordor_]

This is a good game one of the first I bought for the PC, do you know if anybody managed to mod it to add new units or change unit stats?

 

[Ivar the Boner]

This is a good game one of the first I bought for the PC, do you know if anybody managed to mod it to add new units or change unit stats?

I don't think so, it's just been recently made playable on modern machines so I don't think that anyone took his time to mod it yet. There are mods for it's sequel thou - Dark Omen. Look here http://www.dark-omen.org/

 

[Hobbit Lord of Mordor_]

Hmm... which one of these games is the one where you eventually go and fight the Tomb Kings? I do seem to remember you could have custom battles

Yes, it's a mod for DO http://forum.dark-omen.org/dark-omen-expanded/dark-omen-2-released-beta-t926.0.html

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION TWO: ESCORT TO HOLST (BRIEFING)

FUN FACT: During this update MS Paint crashed again.

FUN FACT2: One of the captcha for uploading picture to tiny pic was "rodents of unusual size" I found it very fitting.

After two days of drinking Jarema finally sobered up enough to go to Deitrich tent and check how we look like with our coffer.

Also I forgot to show you our magic items, Grudgebringer sword wich we had from beginning and Sword of Might, which we picked up in Schnappleburg.

Deitrich, did you get any assignment while we were drinkin ourself into frenzy celebrating?

Yes sir, in fact, I managed to get us two missions.

AND THE CHOICE IS YOURS

What the... Deitrich, I order you not to let me drink again... but for now let me see those missions.

So, those are our choices. We can choose to accept Sven Carlsson mission straight away and dive headfirst into main quest, or make some money and experience first. And this is what we going to do choosing "Escort to Holst" mission.

I'll take the gate number one Deitrich

So, we need to escort some Jew to Holst, and then bring him back safely to Wissenheim. Not very complicated. So let's do it!. Our troop selection and march order is exactly the same as in Schnappleburg mission so no point in showing it again.

Wołodyjowski! gather your man, we are going to Holst!

Tak Jest! (potatospeak)

After few hours of marching our brave heroes see horde of greenskins coming their way.

KILL THOSE DIRTY UKRAINIANS GOBLINS BEFORE THEY DESTROY MERCHANT WAGONS!

Hurraaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Weeeeeeeeeeeee

TO BE CONTINUED.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR

 

[Ivar the Boner]

This is pretty "AMBUSH!" screen, unfortunately I didn't press Print Screen fast enough to catch Bernhardt Jarema scream "AMBUSH!". Yes I'm using Ms Paint and print screen to make screenshots, you can't just install FRAPS on win xp or some shit... this is old-school... there are liek... rules, man.

Since we were ambushed there is no "deployment phase" battle start as soon as map loads. This is very unfortunate because we must waste first couple of seconds on turning of AI control of our regiments.

This is our simple battle plan. Guys driving merchant wagons are unfortunately a kamikazze-wannabes and they will continue to drive north (towards goblins) until they get destroyed... or blocked by friendly unit. So this is what we going to do, block the wagons with Jarema's cavalry. Meanwhile we order our infantry to attack first goblin regiment that comes our way.

CHARGE! drive them back to... ork land, or whenever they came from

Epeek charge.

Unfortunately charge was so epeek that I wasted my time watching it and forgot to use Grudgebringer fireball ability on goblins coming at Jarema, I had to quickly charge them before they charged me. Meanwhile another goblin regiment appeared, fortunately Wołodyjowski finished out his target and I could send him to intercept them (beautifully drawn green arrow shows it)

When Wołodyjowski reaches this new enemy regiment, Jarema is finished with his target so I send him behind goblin group in case infantry had problem with them (beautifully drawn red arrow).

epeek cavalry butt-charge.

And that's it, we defeated the enemy.

No wagons lost, yay!

No loses, yay!

After battle Deitrich ask us to come to his tent, he says that he have something important to say.

FUCK YEAH.

Crossbow regiment, finally. They are quite expensive to field but this is only range unit we have now. So we obviously hire them.

This is it for the first part of Escort To Holst mission. In the next episode we will continue our journey. This time back from Holst to Wissenheim.

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION TWO: ESCORT TO HOLST (AMBUSH 2)

Fun Fact: During this episode nothing crashed but I panicked a little.

During our trip from Holst to Wissenheim we were again ambushed by goblins, this means no deployment phase and now we have 3 regiments to control.

This is our battle plan... for now, I'm absolutely sure we won't have to quickly change it, No sir, absolutely not.

Well, fuck. Whole plan went to shit straight away. I didn't have time to turn off AI control, and lo and behold, this time AI control was actually useful and it prevented Jarema from being surprised by goblin regiment that suddenly appeared.

Another goblin regiment appeared, so we quickly made hasty battle plan and prayed that strenght of our individual soldiers proves to be enough because there is too many goblin for flanking tactics and other witty shit. But the big problem is, wagons are defensless now, our only "free" regiment are crossbows, and I didn't wanted to send them into hand-to-hand combat. And that was mistake.

While I ordered Fletcher to shoot at newly arrived regiment, Wołodyjowski routed his target. And that's the only good news. Goblins got dangerously close to wagons and Jarema is fighting two regiments now.

Jarema crushed one goblin regiment, second one still prevents him from attacking goblins that are getting close to wagons, and I'm still too chiken-shit to send my crossbows to do dirty work. Also Wołodyjowski stopped chasing routers and I ordered him to go help Jarema or wagons.

Goblins destroyed one wagon, and finally I ordered fletcher to throw away his sissy-crossbow and charge the goblins (definition of "too late you fucktard")

Fletcher with a little help from his friend's (TM) routes goblins, but it is too late for one merchant wagon.

That's it. We done it... sort of

YOUR MOTHER WAS A FAILURE... and what the fuck do you mean by WAGONS? we lost one for fuck's sake.

We lost some man, but shit, such is war, I take the results since I haven't redone any mission yet (but it won't last long).

We arrive at Wissenheim.

Make up your fucking mind game.

Loosing that one wagon actually hurts a lot and I don't think that we will be able to field 3 regiments in next mission because we are poor as fuck. But I should be able to do without crossbows for some time. Wish me luck.

Song in memory of One Little Wagon That Couldn't:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTOi4mSAWGc

You will be remembered.
*tear of an eagle*

 

[Gondolin]

Good luck

 

[CaptainAwesome]

: x

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

 

[Major_Blackhart]

: x

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION THREE: CAPTURE OTTO HILN (BRIEFING)

Ok, I'm tired of uploading briefings...

With Skavens...

SKAVENS!

TAM TAM TAM *dramatic music*

SKAVENS!

SKAVENS!

Shhh... Since that first meeting he has sent men out searching for the one called Ceridan. But as the months have passed with no word of Ceridan, HIln has became increasingly frustrated - to the point of executing those who report failure.

Well, its good WE don't work for him...

Is your information reliable?

Allow me to introduce my trusted adviser and intelligence officer Ilmarin (totally not Ceridan) He will answer your questions; I must attend to other matters.

Greetings gentleman. Yes, our information is reliable.

He convinced me!

Former bodyguard of Hiln is now at our service.

Oh...

He is sickened by Hilns collaboration with the ratmen hordes and concerned for the security of our land. I want Hiln captured and interrogated.

Where can we find Hiln?

Its actually more work than uploading every briefing screenshot.

Mad Dog Pass. GO. FIND. BRING.

Holy shit, we can actually afford to field all our troops.

Marching order in case of ambush.

In the next episode we will capture Otto Hiln (or not).

 

[Azira]

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION THREE: CAPTURE OTTO HILN (BATTLE)

I figured out it would be good idea to show you status of our regiments, after reinforcements of course.

Its not that bad, cavalry lacks only one man and the rest is at full strenght.

Mad dog Pass battle overview. Not much to say really. Whe only see three enemy units, so let's take a closer look at them.

Otto Hiln, his bodyguards and their Skaven "ally".

Our battle plan. We will stop our regiments exactly where their arrows are pointing. This will let us easily fend off approaching Hiln Guards and will keep us prepared against eventual attack from east.

Oops, I think Hiln just failed his speech check. And his Guards are coming our way.

FATALITY!

Fletcher, UNLEASH HELL!

PEW PEW PEW

STATUS OF HELL: OFFICIALLY UNLEASHED

Hiln guards decides that they have enough even before they reach our lines.

Also, we have enemy approaching from the east.

And the Hiln guards came back for more. I let Jarema finish them off so Fletcher can shoot at skavens coming from east.

CHARGE! SHOW NO MERCY, LET NONE ESCAPE!

Dude, theres like, three of them left...

Jarema finished off remaining Hiln guards, meanwhile skavens somehow get through storm of crossbow bolts and managed to charge Fletcher's troops. So I ordered Wołodyjowski to help them.

Jarema cuts off approaching skavens so they wont charge Wołodyjowski in the back.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

Still no idea.

Close-up of a mess and chasing remaining skavens till they all are dead-dead.

Suddenly a snowman.

Completely insignificant snowman?

acully is magick.

We eliminated all enemies but we couldn't get to Hiln in time (there is no way to capture him alive). We also get the Dragon Sword, more about it in next episode.

We lost 10 men in total. 5 wounded and 5 killed, it's quite alot but it's acceptable (it's also doesn't matter anyway as you soon will find out).

We got quite a pretty penny for this mission. There is penalty because we couldn't capture Hiln alive but it was worth it anyway...

AAAAND the game crashed when I was trying to take some screenshots of cutscene. I will redo this mission tomorrow and I will just edit this update and post new debriefing.

 

[eklektyk]

: x

this will be Awesome>tm<

 

[Absalom]

MOAR. This game is too awesome to be un-lp'd. I wish someone with l33t skills would decode the game's code and figure out what the fuck the "muscle" icon actually does. I'm almost certain it's useless, but you might as well right? Esp. since this game is hard as balls.

 

[felipepepe]

Why the commander is called Jarema, and not Morgan Benheart? Clearly is the same bro from Dark Omen...

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

Y u no potato?

 

[anus_pounder]

"You are now watching this thread"

 

[Storyfag]

I approve of this thread

Why the commander is called Jarema, and not Morgan Benheart? Clearly is the same bro from Dark Omen...

Obviously Ivar the Boner edited the name. Jarema is a historical character from the 17th century. More or less the Potato version of Vlad the Impaler. Also incarnate.

 

[asongforsimeon]

You're a man of courage, sir. This is the single most unforgiving game I've ever played. Onward, I say!

 

[Ivar the Boner]

MISSION FOUR: PATROL (BRIEFING)

Official results of Capture Otto Hiln mission:

Since game crashed yesterday I had to redo this mission. I used exactly same tactics so I thought it won't be necessary to take screenshots of me redoing this battle. Too bad because one hilarious thing happend. Wołodyjowski got charged by what was left of Hiln's guard (three men) after storm of Fletcher's crossbows bolts... and he routed, fucker. But shit happens and I won anyway.

After the battle Jarema was asked to come to Deitrichs tent.

Hiln was dead before our men got to him. They say there was a black sticky residue around his wound. Whatever killed him was obviously weapon spawned of Chaos. They also found a map that should interest Carlsson.

So it wasn't our fault?

What now? Did you spoke with Ceridan Ilmarin about this map?

Yes my lord, and he got another assignment for us

As you know we have recovered a map from Hiln's body.

Yeah right, you did...

It marks routes from Mad Dog Pass through Hiln's land to the east and across the Black Mountains. You are to patrol the area marked on Hiln's land to the east of Skull River and eliminate any Skaven presence. As well as your payment you will be paid an additional 10 crowns for each Skaven head returned.

(JEW SENSE) This route will take us ten days. That fee will scarcely pay for our supplies! If we don't encounter Skaven I'm afraid it isn't worth our while.

(BARTER) Wey well, I'll double my offer to 20 crowns a head.

BARTER CHECK: SUCCESS

Shall we prepare the men Commander?.[/]

Yes, Wołodyjowski gather your men, Fletcher, you stay home, you're too fucking expensive you need rest

TAK JEST!

WUB WUB

--------------------------------------
MEANWHILE IN PLOT COUNTRY:

Thanquol: AWWW YISSSSS...

Low Budget Skavens: MUCH KILL-KILL...

TO BE CONTINUED.