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Completed Let's REMOVE KEBAB in EU 3 Mare Apertum: Return of SERBIA STRONG

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Do you have plans to reclaim the Holy Lands?

Other than Rome, yes. All the way from Damascus to Alexandria*. As for the deserts deep inland, they are worthless.

Also, it is very convenient to wait a little longer through the late game if you have pretensions over the Middle East after crushing turks.

Because even all other muslims hate the wahhabi asshols which will end completely isolated diplomatically and likely attacked by all their other islamic neighbors.

*Alexandria is the last refuge of the worst turk idiot among the scant remnants of their once large empire. To crush them there is a long term goal.
 

LusciousPear

Savant
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
722
Location
SF
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong
Cassidy, do you think the excessive Rebel popamole you saw in the last few years was 'Fair', or did it start to feel like your Jerusalem LP?
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
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Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
Cassidy, do you think the excessive Rebel popamole you saw in the last few years was 'Fair', or did it start to feel like your Jerusalem LP?

Even in vanilla rebels are already ridiculous, as demonstrated by this AAR focused on how annoying they are and the playing enduring through it:

http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?486346-Rebels-without-a-pause-a-Tribal-AAR

20,000 doomstack spawning out of a province with meager manpower and a 2k population city is always absurd and stupid. The way rebels are simulated in Europa Universalis 3 is a proof that simplicity and frustration are not necessarily the opposite like the idiot "games journalists" like to excrete out of their heads. Sometimes a more complex and detailed game mechanic will be much more fun than frustrating, and the far more sensical way Vicky 2 handles rebels is an example. Not that it was easy and devoid of danger: in fact rebels in Vicky 2, specially with PDM, can be far more dangerous, but because of how things work in it, and specially because combat results are not so ridiculously random as in EU3, it is not banal and frustrating. And you'll see in this update how much fun being at shit stab and high inflation can be.

The other reason they are so frustrating in EU3 is that the combat mechanics in EU3 just plainly sucks. Yes, for an economics, politics and demographics centered grand strategy game, Vicky 2 still has more complex combat mechanics. For one, if you surround an enemy army in EU3 you gain nothing from it as they will retreat rather than be annihilated. Plus, while in Vicky 2 attacking an enemy army using armies spread over multiple different provinces, like in Hearts of Iron games, gives a bonus, and there is a great level of details, not as detailed as HoI of course, but far better in its strategic combat compared to EU3.

IMO there is nothing featured in EU3, even with mods, that other Paradox grand strategy games don't do better and in a more fun way(except for EU: Rome). Even Crusader Kings 2 is more complex in certain areas like the potential of intrigue, the more interesting events, the webs of diplomacy and relations between vassals and lieges, the way the aristocrats rebel against a king(much better than shitty abstractions like the aristocrat faction and the nameless rebel spawns) and the influence of individual characters and their development have over history. Only reason I play it is that there is no other Paradox game in the Age of Discovery to early 19th Century setting. I really hope they will fix the more frustrating aspects of vanilla in EU4.

================

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The Deluge is at End! Serbia remain STRONG!!!

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return to asshole roman emprahirie this is our clay!

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Asshol Portugal not only join all traitor scum against Srbija but all greed fukcs cause economic crisis. Just what we need'd

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But the Slovenian Patriots were to be defeat from inside. hahaha a master plan of Serbia final finger to asshole false rome.

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For the Slovenian patriots, despite rebel against Srbija were all part of an act to get Slovenia peoppl to support legitimacy of Serbian clay and they give cores to Srbija for all are South Slav BROhood.

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return to your precious mongolia. So many traitors, so little time to crush them all at once. The Deluge was not over yet.

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Hahahaha

Just as planed! The rebels in Slovenia serve our purpos

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The asshols can do nothing but recogize the legitimacy of our greattst countrey rule over Slovenia now. The Austrian butthurt will last hundred of day one purchases.

SERBIA STRONG!

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Yet legions of traitors of all worst kind remain, and sometimes their numbers, like a farm animal rush, are too overwhelm even for the greattst.

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But Serbia shall endure, and in endure grow STRONG!!!

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The Impalers of Walachia have a long day ahead. The brutal of executes against worst traitors increase pproportion to their dikcery.

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They are everywhere. Traitors probable fund from worst kraut and other idiots.

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And so the inside enemy must be crushed lik a skul of pig before the Deluge finaly end.

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JUST AS PLANNED!

(This is really wat. I gained cores in all of Slovenia and Slovenia as accepted culture thanks to rebels fighting against Serbia)

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At this point, realy no words can expres the feel so many traitor asshols give:

:rage:

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FUKC THE UNGRY

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:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

:rage: :rage:

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More fragment of hole emprahirie, good news for a change. The rekconging of all traitors is ongong and without mercy.

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Someone had greatt idea use a big enough oil press to literaly crush all traitors by press their bodies in execute until nothing thicker than a crushed skul of pig remains. It will be degrade and very painful to serve as a warn to all asshols. The traitors of hunturk that dared this shit were the first to be execute this way. It was truly poetic, to crush them so literaly.

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The race traitors, as such executes increase, reduce in number, for most are coward scum without honor and like such they return to croatioa instead of dare to defy the greattst. Yet there are way too many of these dikcs around.

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Fukc the trannylvania!

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SERBIA STILL STRONG THIS SHTI WILL NOT STOP THE GREATTST

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This shit deserve no long treatis of phisolophey about the source of treason just one-liner like any other shit.

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Fukc the Poland.

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Yet, none of the traitor asshols pose greater danger than some subhuman dreg in Jerusalem. JERUSALEM WILL NOT BE LOST EVEN IF WE HAVE TO GENOCIDE EVERY RAGHEAD IN THE CITY WITHOUT EXCEPT.

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We will take bakc Jerusalem! Forward!

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No mercy for the scum, or for the vile spawn of these cokcroach they all the same and predistined to be asshols therefore must there is only one way to realy handle them.

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They genocided Jews out of irrational hate(the hate of Serbia is rational for the theat these asshols are. Rape and murder are like food and water to these farm animals. Therefore, it is obvious now there is only one way to fix this shit for once and all, and eventualy it shall be do.

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While the arab traitor and mass murder are scum asshols, the Jews help Srbija. Is there any more argument against deliver the paybakc for the Holocaust of Jerusalem and REMOVE KEBAB from our Hole Citey? First tough we must retake it from traitors, then it will be the time!

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The day of rekconging of the sandniger subhuman dreg for the genocide of all Jews in Jerusalem is to come.

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But first other scum had to be deal with. The Trannylvania leader hahahaha he was castrated coward and traitor scum without balls.

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Then finaly, something Serbia should have done long ago:

REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES!

turk genocide best day of my life

they all turk asshols all sandniger and dreg

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:M

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Banal, shit, boring.

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Who cares?

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FUKC YOU ASSHOLS EVEN THE SLOVENES DEFECTED FROM SERBIA TO SERBIA FOR A REASON!

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And thus no choice but to pay gold to the dikcs. Roten asshole roman emprahirie!

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But that was not enough gold to sooth their buthurt hahahaha walow in it. Had you not been idiots, traitors, dishonor scum, asshols and declare war on Serbia, you would still have it now.

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Prestige? Who need that when it flow in our viens?

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Then at last! In November 1736, the Deluge is at end, while Serbia is obvious:

SERBIA STRONG!

TO BE CONTINUE
 

Lumpy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
8,525
4e6IhOb.jpg


For the Slovenian patriots, despite rebel against Srbija were all part of an act to get Slovenia peoppl to support legitimacy of Serbian clay and they give cores to Srbija for all are South Slav BROhood.
Really? :lol: The rebels were nationalists whose victory gave you a core on the province? This is fucking brilliant.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
4e6IhOb.jpg


For the Slovenian patriots, despite rebel against Srbija were all part of an act to get Slovenia peoppl to support legitimacy of Serbian clay and they give cores to Srbija for all are South Slav BROhood.
Really? :lol: The rebels were nationalists whose victory gave you a core on the province? This is fucking brilliant.

In EU3, patriot rebels, when lacking a nation of their own culture to defect to(like the Slovaks who joined Potatoland), will usually defect to the closest country belonging to the same culture group as themselves, and that was bloody convenient and unexpected(as they had Albanian flags in them so I was fearing they would join precious mongolia instead). Because there is no historical Slovene concept of nationhood or Slovene kingdom by EU3 timeline, that also means no nationalist rebels will ever rise(nationalist rebels != patriots, because nationalists form independent countries while patriots defect to existing ones of the same culture or culture group)
 

LusciousPear

Savant
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
722
Location
SF
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong
What a clusterfuck, holy shit. I can see now why the Vicky 2 POP mechanics make so much more sense. You must've massacred your entire population five times over.
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
10,046
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
Popamole deluge preventing removal of kebab. :x
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
If you need any help porting this into Vicky do tell me.

Thanks. I will essentially use that converter available in Paradox Forums and manually improve and fix the resulting save game and make it playable with PDM through heavy modding, including new events to match the newfound reality.

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Arabia give bakc our clay or we'll crush you lik a skul of pig!

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The ally with Bohemia was prevent for the buthurt of the worst kraut idiot is lik a gigantic blossom of flower out of their asshol and so it is complete possible that, even after how they were show what happen to scumbag such as they, they could declare war again.

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Maybe REMOVE KEBAB FROM ALL NORTH AFRICA would be good, except the infamy of exterminate all sandniggers there would turn Srbija hated by the entire world and ruin everything the greattst countrey fought so hard to acheive.

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Why? Worthless. Serbia no need of that for India is not so far from their doorstep once it is convenent to conquer it.

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More nonsensic buthurt for absolute no reason at al.

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Other than for be race traitor, that is.

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So?

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The legions of race traitors and other traitors of all kind prove to the countrey that there was need to prevent such scum from even organize themselfs to do such bulshit. Thus, secret police of Srbija was born: the Chetniks, they remove all who must be remove from the premises before they even know they are on the list. And toggther greatt organize of administrate also shall be sure. The Internal STRONG provide by the Chetniks is true greatt for Serbia, for it will make every much more dificult for the asshols.

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This bring other benefits as well, very good ones. There couldntt be a besttst measure after all painful experience with rebel dikcery and traitors.

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During all its histroy from 1453 onward, Serbia has shift towards one path: the instituts of the countrey grow to the form where it is not religon or leige, but patriotism what define Serbia above everything else. Yet, the strong hand of ORTHODOX POWER born out of Divine Supremacy make the nationalistic ideals moot unless Serbia were bold enough to renege their past by abandon Divine Supremacy and STRONG enough to not colapse due to the consequences of renege the past, to then embrace Liberty, Equality* and Fraternity as the new foundations of our greattst countrey.

*Except for turk farm animals... hahahha but they will all be exterminate anyway so for practical purpose all who deserve live in Serbia will be free and equal next to the law, and all South Slavic Fraternity of the BROs among BROs against the asshols, the race traitors, the turk idiots, the sandniggers and the rest of the dreg.

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Shit nonsense event is shit. Fukc the asshol the clay of Srbija in Slovenia is long confirm. The Impaler of Walachia soon have a long day hahaha.

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Then, as peace prevail and Serbia is get stabile, a chain of events change every plan: from the asshols of Najd who steal Serbian clay was born Arabia, heathen to Serbia and a much-despised heretic among the other turbanheads. It is better always pay attent to what happen now for a greatt opportune to take bakc the clay will soon rise because obvious this new Wahassbi shit is so full of shit fukc asshol that even the other muslims despite it hahaha.

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Of course, Srbija will give financial aid for REMOVE KEBAB all acros the Clay.

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Then, in 1747, something new. Trebizoid removed the popemole from crete and then, expect, proclaim themselfs as the Republic of Greece. With use of bulshit claim based on long out of touch with reals histroy, they show they void of honor by claiming our rightful clay. MACEDONIA IS SERBIAN! CONSTANTINOPEL IS SERBIAN! IF THEY DARE IT WILL BE TIME TO REMOVE GYRO FROM THE PREMISES!

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Guess which asshol is behidn tis?

Poland, probabel out of buthurt haah they never learn stupid poles are so stupid they almost outmacht worst turk at that.

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In 1749, Spain give Serbia chance to return to finish the job. Now it will be so easy compare to last time it will not even be fun. But still, the best day of my life never change even if to acheive it a much lesser risk and effort is need.

REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES!

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hahahaha so easy! The extermine of farm animals was glorouis. It was time to salt the great wounds in the stumps of the crushed lik a skul of pig remnant of the ottoturk emprahirie. It was so good feel good man.

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A bit too late, always delay for manana typical lation. Had it been Srbija Granada would be kebab-free more than two centries ago.

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Yet, even as Srbija crushed all of the asshol, genocided thousands of farm animal, they refuse to cede, and instead surrender to Spain. Waste of good Serbians and time, in the end. Fukcing beaners why they do this instead of helpin' the greattst to finish the job? Doesn't matter. Soon or late a new war shall begin against the last pieces of the crush turk asshol.

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hahahahahahaha. Take that worst guido butfukc dick asshols! All of your clay in north guido now in asshole emprah hands instead of your. Poetic justice for you being fat greed honorless coward sodomites.

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Serbia has best things to do than trade in mongolia. Leave it to the mongolized slavs and alike they never gave a fukc about that embargo. The Despot even laughed in the face of their messenger, then spit in eye and mouth and flag of the Russia countrey in disgust of what they represent as the worst of all slavs, those who give bad fame to everyone else for being savages like mongols and turk dikcs.

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Peace and prosperity, until a too good oportune to mis show up. As predict the Arabiass end in trouble with near all of their muslim neighbro time to crush them all without mercy:

REMOVE KEBAB FROM SYRIA!

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Their rekcong swift, their odds zero. Serbia's glory was certain and their demise too. May those who are heathen to the true faith and heretics to the other heathens face their deserve fate.

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They were many, but that was no deal for the great Husaria, which removed so much kebab with their lances a Great Wall of China could be rise from their corpses.

SERBIA STRONG

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And with their army crush lik a skul fo pig, the rest was trival.

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And so, it shal hapen agian, to ensure this patriot asshol shit never poop even once more.

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REMOVE WAHAB FROM THE PREMISES

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The citeys are once agian ours! THis bring much glory to our countrey. The animals are drive bakc to their precious desert. Truly it could not be any better, yet the worst turk remain, and thus, Alexandria, a wealthy city. To give the farm animals any chance at survive much more time is bad idea. It is long overdue to finish the job, and once everything is set. Once the infamey of all measure taken ends, then it shall be it.

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Walachia was now last step to consoledate Srbija. With their voluntary integrate, now the countrey could dedicate much to look outward than inward for future plans, of which Alexandria obvious include.

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Yet, all along their glory a great problem rise lik a snowbal. The Srbija economy is in a very poor shape, and thus there is little left to save it, were it not for some of the greattst and besttst masters of mint the despot wisely hired and allow to concot their own curency, and so instabile again, but with the remove of inflatatbility recover will be much fast. This saved Serbia from a future of harship and perpetual bakcward lik near same tech progres inside hovels and yurts.

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LONG LIVE STEFAN XVIII THE GREATTST

And so, once again luck smile stead of give finger and bless Srbija with a great despot. This is more than need irght now.

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They can return to wherever they want for the bestment of Serbia, leting them go is the wisdom of the eagle to ensure besttst future for the countrey free of this kind of breed ground for all traitors and rebel asshols.

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Serbia spent most of the 18th centry fighting for their survive as a whole and STRONG emprahirie, and to take bakc their clay lost during The Deluge to the raghead farm animals, with a vindicate of best days of all Serbian lives. And yet, even though the Otoman was worst shape than the Byzantine in 1399 right now, they stil exist, and stil dare to insult Srbija. Truly, the time for finish the job is come. Soon, it will be again time to do it, to finish waht they started and is so close to the end, to:

REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES

TO BE CONTINUE
 
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
Messages
845
The kingdom of Potato has fallen into decadence and sodomy.

They must be crushed like the skull of a fat, greasy pig.
 

thesoup

Arcane
Joined
Oct 13, 2011
Messages
7,599

I'm Ridin' with Biden I'm Ridin' with Biden
Bump for best day of my life.:salute:
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
10,046
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
Kebab removal days indeed grettest of days.
 

Commissar Draco

Codexia Comrade Colonel Commissar
Patron
Joined
Mar 6, 2011
Messages
20,786
Location
Привислинский край
Insert Title Here Strap Yourselves In Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
You can rebuild Pentarchy in EU3? Also which mods you use? When I was playing Roman Empire in ''Complete version'' :roll: the events were not so interesting.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
You can rebuild Pentarchy in EU3? Also which mods you use? When I was playing Roman Empire in ''Complete version'' :roll: the events were not so interesting.

Mare Apertum is an improved Magna Mundi Platinum 2. And yes you can, but in late game it gives much less benefits than if you pull it earlier.

*edit: Final crush of worst turk lik a skul of pig coming in page 11.

*Edit 2: The ''Complete version'' is better than Chronicles because Mare Apertum is only compatible with it, plus the fact the additions of HTTT and DW are not that better than Aztec invasion during the High Middle Ages.
 

thesoup

Arcane
Joined
Oct 13, 2011
Messages
7,599

I'm Ridin' with Biden I'm Ridin' with Biden
Bump for final crush of worst turk like a skull of pig.
 

Gondolin

Arcane
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Oct 6, 2007
Messages
5,700
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Purveyor of fine art
Bump for Lower-Danubeland.
 

thesoup

Arcane
Joined
Oct 13, 2011
Messages
7,599

I'm Ridin' with Biden I'm Ridin' with Biden
For Orthodox!
 

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