So, what do we do now? There's something in Beregost, right?
Oh yeah, I wanted to ask about something. You claim to have gone through this game before, and yet it seems a lot of this stuff is new to You. What's up with that?
I have. A long time ago. I remember the most iconic stuff. Cat in the waterfall. Ogre with the belts. Things like that. For example, in Beregost there's that chick, Silke, right? I remember her. Also, I know we have to go there after the mines, just not sure why.
Ok. There is this guy, Tranzig. We need to get bandit camp location from him.
Oh yeah. Now I recall him. He's a wimp. So, let's go and kill him, and move on.
We have one thing to do before that.
It's time to visit our old friend, Thalantyr.
I don't know if I want to call him a 'friend'. When he lived here in solitude, he was kinda cool, and mysterious, and stuff. But now, that he entered this weird gay relationship with Melicamp...
I shall leave this without comment.
Some spells join our arsenal. Namely: Mirror Image, Invisibility, Detect Invisibility, Fire Arrow and Hold Person.
Mirror Image, finally! Should have gotten it a long time ago.
Yeah, I kept forgetting to buy it every time we were here.
'Forgetting' my ass. I know you wanted to bump up the death count as high as possible, and this spell is a life saver that would make it difficult.
You wound me deeply. How can You suspect me of such deviousness?
I know what I know.
Time to head for Beregost.
Well, that movie was pretty lame.
True. The more people are in an area intro movie, the worse it is. And Beregost has the most.
Not only is The Codex already at level cap, but he almost has reached XP cap too. When that happens, I'll stop showing these screenshots, so enjoy them while You can.
I'm sure everybody will be absolutely devastated when you stop posting the same dull screenshot over and over again.
Battle Horror has replaced Revenant as our greatest trophy. We're a tad away from 130 000 XP gained from kills alone.
Before we begin, noble audience. Remember 'no run-throughs' rule I imposed on myself at the start of this LP? The one that obliges me to explore whole area (interiors included) before proceeding to the next one. Well, I've analysed it with my lawyer and it says nothing about screenshotting every interior I explore. So, I am very truly deeply sorry
, but I have decided to show You only notable areas of the town. You'll just have to deal with it.
How exactly is this a bad thing?
Well, I'm sure people would prefer to see every house interior of Beregost if they could decide. No?
You do realize these houses have only like three or four layouts in total, meaning most of them are identical to reach other?
And most of them don't have anything interesting in the loot department.
Oh, nothing. You definitely should only screenshot the crucial things. That will show those lazy-asses!
Exactly my thoughts.
You stalking me, old man? Are all mages around here fags?
You're a mage too.
Multi-classy people don't count.
First, we visit the local smith, Thunder Hammer.
Looks like he's not here at the moment.
But his inventory definitely is!
What do we have here...
Should sell for a good coin.
Next stop: Jovial Juggler.
Well, hello there, officer. That armor looks really uncomfortable. Why don't you...
Officer Vai here buys bandit scalps (and nothing else) for 50GP each (for comparison, Thalantyr pays 25).
Maybe she wants to open a wig shop or a beauty salon?
Either that, or she's a very creepy person.
She also gives a quest to clear out bandit camp - the reward is a mediocre +1 medium shield. The bad part is she leaves Jovial Juggler after finishing the assignment, never to return, so it's probably better to never tell her about killing the bandit leaders (just make sure to have at least one bandit scalp when talking to her).
Bjornin tells us about a bunch of half-ogres south of Beregost.
Fuck you, paladin boy! Like hell I'm helping you!
Why the sudden aggression?
Paladins. Just can't stand them.
Gurke wants us to get his cloak back from some tasloi in Cloakwood.
Sure, I'll totally bring you your magic cloak back for some symbollic reward, instead of using it myself or selling it for a lot of gold. You can definitely count on that!
I'm always curious what people keep in their houses. Let's enter them at random and check!
Four giant spiders. The hell?
Yeah, can't say that was the first thing to come to my mind, when I was guessing what we'll find here.
Wait! I remember now. It's a quest. The lady at Friendly Arm inn asked us to clear her house of spider infestation.
Oh, right! I totally remembered that. That's why I wanted to enter here in the first place, of course!
Ha! The Codex: 4, Spiders: 0.
They actually wounded You a little. There, You see?
Yah, I noticed, but 'The Codex: 4, Spiders: 0.08' doesn't sound so good.
I now remember she wanted us to fetch her shoes and wine too.
Great. I just thought I'm in the mood for some backtracking.
Yeah, I hope you enjoy your fucking boots.
120 GP and 300 XP? That be a joke?
120 GP for old boots ain't that bad...
Largest? They all seemed similar in size to me. Why would I carry the largest anyway? Wouldn't it be the heaviest too?
You seek reason where there is none, thus Your efforts are futile.
This reward is even more lame than the last one! Why are old boots more important to you than killing the spiders!?
Maybe those boots have sentimental value for her?
75 gold? I'm going to fucking kill her!
No! Reputation! We'll have to pay a lot to the temple!
Our total reward is 800 XP and 295 gold. Not that bad, actually.
Can we leave already?
We have some bandit scalps stashed here. We'll take them with us now.
I wonder what's in this house. A cave bear, perhaps?
I'm sure your husband is perfectly safe and was not gangraped to death by a bunch of ogres just south of the town. Bye!
Bandit scalps join officer Vai's creepy collection.
The Codex was hurt a little in the spider fight, so we rest at the Jovial Juggler.
Time for our main destination here: Feldepost's Inn.
Fuck off, man! What do you want from me?
Marl's son was an adventurer and died some horrible death, so Marl doesn't like adventurers now. He starts nagging us as soon as we enter the inn. If not reasoned with using the right dialogue options, he attacks.
Told you to fuck off!
Killing Marl nets 650 XP, and the peaceful solution gives 900, if I recall properly. There's nothing standing in the way of doing both - reason with him first and then kill him. No negative repercussions.
Well, hello there...
We have to move on.
What? She's already wasted! A few more rounds and...
Don't even want to listed to this.
I double-checked here and prices are the same whether Friends are cast before first speaking to the innkeeper, or not. Not sure what to think of it.
We complete our 'of protection' set and buy a book for a later quest.
After that, we head upstairs.
Sorry, mr Algernon, didn't mean to bump into you, heh, heh, heh.
I see that this is one of the things that you remembered about Beregost.
Actually, there's a quest to steal this cloak given by some guy in the city of Baldur's Gate.
Really? I didn't know that.
Considering that the quest is ignored by basically everyone anyway, that wasn't much of a hole in Your knowledge.
Charisma of 11 ups The Codex' reaction modifier to 0 (from earlier -1). Sorry, but I forgot to scroll the in-game screen to show that.
Also, amulet of protection replaces the cloak.
I'm not afraid of you, wimp.
Fuck, he splashed me with the blood of xenomorph!
Like hell you're leaving!
I'm melting! I'm melting!
Whew, saved! I would lose all self-respect, if I died fighting Tranzig...
You have died fighting gibberlings
But not when max-leveled.
How does my sword feel down your throat, HUH!?
I don't need any of these magic items, but they can always be sold.
A quick rest to recover.
Well, hello there...
Can we please move on?
I'll get back to you when done with saving the world, ladies...
I guess we're back to checking houses? Let's start with this one.
'Reimburse' me? Is that some kind of gay slang? What is with all you wizards nowadays?
We have the book he wants, but it seems that completing this quest gives a point of reputation, so we will save it for later, in case something unexpected makes us lose rep.
Also, it turns out this guy's name is Firebeard
Elvenhair not Firebead
. Shame on You, Bioware.
Let's check this large house here.
I 'look like a strong group of warriors'? What have you been drinking here?
Fucking liar. There's nobody else here. Never was and never will be. This place is probably burdened with mortgage and you want off as fast as possible, admit it.
He doesn't have anything of value, unfortunately.
Actually, I kind of like his helmet. I'm rather bored with the one I have. Let's switch.
I wouldn't count on it, if I were you.
I wonder who lives here... and what they keep in their underwear drawer.
Okay, that's kind of creepy.
We manage to find something usable here - a healing potion.
Have you noticed how peacuful they look in their sleep...?
Ookaaay, that's very
creepy. I think we're done with the night break-ins. Let's wait until morning before moving on.
We begin next day with visiting Thunder Hammer.
Dagger of Venom will replace short sword +2 as our backstabbing tool.
Doesn't it deal less damage?
Trust me on this one.
Another inn? How many of them are there in this town?
Four, I think.
I guess inhabitants of this town have one idea of spending leisure time.
What is with all these people? Do they really think I will give them their magic gear back after risking death to get it?
Sometimes it doesn't even end with 'risking'.
I think those dark times are all behind us. I'm too badass to die now.
No, you're not getting your boots back! Sucker!
I think You've been had there.
Forget I said anything. Let's go.
I remember her being kind of hot.
And a bitch.
Yeah, that too.
No worries, I'm completely unswayable!
By a man
They're as good as dead!
Actually, we chose the other dialogue option.
Just roll with it.
Improved Invisibility. I won't be able to cast on her even when she appears. But wait, I remember buying detect invisibility from Thalantyr. Have we prepared it?
Let me check... Uh, no.
It's been a long day, Silke, you must be very tired
She's casting some kind of spell.
No shit. Silke, uh, I was only joking. I'm really on your side!
OW! FUCK! SHIT! FUCK!
After casting the spell, Silke retreats into the nearby inn.
The Codex follows, after casting Mirror Image and Blur.
There she is!
You're so dead now, bitch!
What! Who the fuck are you!?
Right. There's an assassin here. Forgot about him.
Pissed off now! I will slaughter both you and that fucking bitch!
Well, suffice to say, it didn't quite go according to The Codex' cunning plan.
Death count: 74
Did I just fucking die fighting fucking Silke?
Fucking Silke, who usually dies by the fucking hands of fucking level one adventurers?
I think she might have been level-scaled. I don't recall her ever casting lightning.
I am fucking going to fuck her over and burn her fucking corpse!
Protection spells are cast before talking to Silke this time.
Silke resists Sleep again, but her Lightning Bolt strikes one of the images, not harming The Codex at all.
Mirror Image, bitch!
She retreats into the inn again, hitting another one of The Codex' images with a lightning. Karlat also gets wounded in the process.
HELL YEAH! MIRROR IMAGE FTW!
SUCK SWORD'S COCK, BITCH!
I like how Garrick and the three merchants don't really give a fuck about the whole fighting happening around them. I'd give a lot to be able to keep my cool in a situation like this. I bet they're discussing the weather.
Silke drops some loot. This staff +1 is, for many parties, the first magic weapon they lay their hands on.
Don't remind me.
Thanks for doing nothing when she was fucking me over, shit-eaters! I should kill you too!
The reward they give us is a potion of defense that temporarily reduces AC to 0. Silke also dropped a potion of invulnerability (the real one), which does the same, while also providing +5 bonus to saving throws.
Of course, you could. I'm sure you're not the most useless joinable NPC in the game at all!
20 HP at this level?
He also doesn't have anything interesting.
If your ballad mentions that I died fighting Silke, I will fucking find you and shove sword up your ass!
Time to go back inside to kill Karlat, who for some reason didn't follow us and Silke outside earlier.
Quite reasonable of him, after what that bitch did with her lightning there.
You want a piece of me? Why don't we step outside to resolve this dispute?
Honestly, I didn't actually expect him to listen...
Karlat dies at exactly the same spot Silke died earlier, providing some kind of cosmic irony to the situation. Garrick watches and takes notes for his ballad, probably fapping in the process.
No significant loot this time.
We return Perdue's sword. It must be really special for him, since he was waiting here for someone to return it for over half a year, instead of just buying another one.
I don't see anything odd with that. Do you see something odd with that, sword? See, sword agrees with me!
Despite the dialogue saying otherwise, we get no gold from Perdue.
What a ripoff!
This house looks like a rich one. Let's see if they will be able to suport me in my travels.
Could it be...?
Unfortunately, no. Just a normal wand of lightning.
How nice of these people to know what might be useful in adventurer's life.
Next time: Ankhegs!
Oh yeah, them I remember. And they're not very pleasant memories.
I'm sure everything will be fine this time.