The Guards Say
Big Dick Greg? Oh, him and his boys are a gang of junkers from the East side. Homeless, like me, who make a living off the scraps of tech we can grab here and there. As per his name, he’s got a big dick. No, I’ve not seen it myself, hell no. He’s just known for buggering his boys until they can barely keep their shits in. They put up with it because he’s got connections with the almighty Randall Al-Thoth, that’s all.
Anyway, what did the guards say? They didn’t want to tell me much either. I figured they’d at least be willing to talk about why I was here, and that much I got, at least. It looks like I was here for getting all handsy with the princess after all. It seems that they conducted a ritual to summon “heroes” of some sort, although the reason for that summoning is not something the guards seem willing to tell.
So, if I’m a summoned “”hero””, shouldn’t they be forgiving me for a touch or two? It’s not like she lost any value, hell, if they gave me an hour alone with the princess, I bet my miracle massages would make her even more stunning than before. Still, there’s a bigger reason why they’re keeping me here even though they called me in the first place.
They called four other guys. Yeah. I’m not the only one they summoned. Apparently these other “””heroes””” made a better first impression than I did, and so I’m effectively an unwanted spare at the moment. Seems like there’s a debate going on in the court regarding what to do with me. Options range from execution to setting me free with a pension. Seems like the king is leaning in favour of just keeping me here forever, while his ministers are split on whether to kill me or to set me free.
As for sending me home? It seems that’s not even on the table. Whether they can’t, or they won’t, I don’t know. To be honest, though, if I can get out of this jail, I wouldn’t mind hanging out in this world a little longer. Anything to avoid the hobo wars.
Oh, and I managed to get my hand on one of their light sources, after pleading with the guards enough. I knew something seemed off on the first day when I looked at those torches. They don’t illuminate by fire, but by means of a strange, glowing stone. The guards call it a glowstone, thereby demonstrating just how creatively bankrupt these people probably are when it comes to naming things. It runs on magic. Put in magic, light comes out. Somehow. That’s something I don’t have in my world, and though I’d like to find out more, this is not the place to do so. Dirk says there’s a College of Magicians in the capital somewhere who could probably teach me.
Rather than that, though, what the glowstone can do for me right now is much more than merely illuminating my surroundings. I can use it to charge my phone. The single most important thing I have in this world. I had rigged up a photovoltaic system for it back in my world, and that’s going to come in handy now. The ambient light in the dungeon isn’t enough to charge the phone up, but fortunately with this glowstone, I can whip up something to harvest all of the available light, even if I have to get naked and take apart a bit of my phone to do it.
As long as it’s working, who cares?
Oh, right, what to do next, now that I’ve established that I’m really quite low in the pecking order of the kingdom.
I guess I could try to get an audience with the king, change his mind. After all, I know things that he doesn’t, especially when it comes to technology. If I can put up a demonstration or two, that might convince him to free me. It might sound cocky but I'm confident none of the other heroes are as good at this as I am unless by some fucking horrible streak of luck that fuckwit is here too.
Or I could wait for a bit longer. It seems that there are a faction of nobles interested in my freedom. They might approach me directly. Or it’s possible the faction that wants me dead might try to kill me instead. That’d suck.
I could also just try to escape on my own. Now that I know the guards and have managed to talk them into giving me stuff, it should be easier than before. I’m not sure if I should free Dirk and everyone else while I’m at it, but they might prove a good diversion if I do?
Anyway, time to get back to work on that light-capturing device. Seriously, what I wouldn’t give for a good box of scraps.