Completed LP: Kingdoms of Amalur Demo

[Mozgoëbstvo]

Why can't the names in fantasy be simple anglo-saxon? With some german "something-burg" for cities? Why can't I be the king of Scunthorpe at war with the magic welshmen of Oz?

Instead you fight the Sklopvaagaarnakth on behalf of the Tuethellonpekkolan in the land of Anturanaknaaatan.

 

[DarthBehemoth]

Probably cuz it's heavily influenced by LOTR and D&D nowadays. Nobody tries to create a 'truly' original universe anymore

 

[Darth Roxor]

Why can't the names in fantasy be simple anglo-saxon? With some german "something-burg" for cities? Why can't I be the king of Scunthorpe at war with the magic welshmen of Oz?

Because most of those names are half-arsed pseudo-Nordic/Irish.

Also, what is not commented upon/pictured, but I found hilarious is how you can equip the shield, right? But it is never shown on your character model. It simply appears out of thin air when you press shift (that was the button?) to block, and disappears again when you de-block. Guess it keeps warping in the same way as arrows do. In the magical, mystical world of Amalulz, everything is possible.

Also 2, that writing? It's inane to the fucking bone. My brian was dripping through my ears when I was reading those dialogues and notes/lore texts. They are Arcania-level boring.

Also 3, your protagonist looks like popamole shit. Can't hold a candle to glorious Bolesław

 

[DarthBehemoth]

05 - Shit happens

Hmm. Nice loading screen

o_O

Whatever man, just point us toward the linear corridor wich leads to the exit.

Go sell your Tell Sell crap to someone else, I gotta get outta here man!

[Intelligence] And that's were retards come from

No time to waste then!

I admit that I really wanted to know what he was talking about, not because I was curious but the whole scene was horrible and I wanted it to end.

The ground shakes, and dust falls from the walls

I wanted this to end...

...And end it did.

Proffesor demonstrates his awesome skillz by dodging some arrows.

Soon soldiers come busting through teh door.

What follows is ,well, this...

Doc, grabs a knife and starts cutting through the soldiers like butter

THIS IS AMALUR!

The entrance collapses, time to GTFO

 

[Darth Roxor]

I had many lulz when I saw that scene with the professor stabbing and running through a mob of armed invaders.

 

[DraQ]

Is it a sword or a pipe wrench?
I can't tell.
I remember swinging a pipe wrench looking almost like that in HL: Opposing Force.
I mean it had less spikes but was red too, just as it was blunt and hefty.

Also, what is not commented upon/pictured, but I found hilarious is how you can equip the shield, right? But it is never shown on your character model. It simply appears out of thin air when you press shift (that was the button?) to block, and disappears again when you de-block.

You are joking, right?
O_o
You have to be.

Also 3, your protagonist looks like popamole shit. Can't hold a candle to glorious Bolesław

More like BROlesław.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

I see that BROeslaw is where he belongs: In a heap of corpses.

 

[lightbane]

Good thing that the Professor invested in some combat skills. The game is a text-book example of a consoletard trash "action rpg", the only good thing is that there aren't any emotionally challenging romances to see (not yet).

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

That little turd didn't invest in combat skills, he just bum-rushed the "elves" and stabbed as he went.

 

[RK47]

PROF ERSKINE!
GO CAPTAIN AMALUR! GO! YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE STEVE!

*AMALUR! FUCKYEAH!*

 

[Wyrmlord]

Darth Roxor should have made a B. Komorowski lookalike.

 

[DarthBehemoth]

Darth Roxor should have made a B. Komorowski lookalike.

 

[DarthBehemoth]

06 - Escape!

The whole place is coming down around our ears, let's GTFO

We fry some Tuatha soldiers along the way. Noy, I can't get over how ridiculous magic in this game looks

Shit just got real bro's!

SuperDuperAwesomeNextGen bossfight incoming!

Unfortunatelly, the shitty camera makes it impossible to fight the troll and the soldiers at the same time.

Take that U bitch!

Finally! With the last Tuatha dead, we can focus on the troll

If you hadn't guessed from the screens, the game treats the troll like he's made out of paper

After posting this screen I suddenly got the urge to replay Rayman 2 again, dunno why.

Now we are about to execute a SuperKKool finishing move

We hold the troll back with Magik Skillz, all while we are busy enchanting a staff (that came outta nowhere WTF?)

Wow. EXTREME Shep couldn't have done it any better

[Intelligence] I think it's dead

Musik

 

[RK47]

Oh wow, welcome to Kalimdor. Please talk to the quest giver to start your adventure in the World of Amalur.

 

[felipepepe]

Oh wow, welcome to Kalimdor. Please talk to the quest giver to start your adventure in the World of Amalur.

Kalimdor would be a great incline here, just look at those big trees & mountains on the sides. Welcome to corridor valley.

 

[lightbane]

EXTREME!!! I wonder if the character will always asspull a magical finishing move, even if you never learned any spell.

 

[RK47]

Nigga plz this is nothing new. Commander Hawke 2 : Age of Reapers already had these finishing moves. Fuck's sake, I was pumped to show my blood mage moves in My DA2 LP - where Hawke stabbed her bare chest to fuel her blood magic., except that I lost momentum and forgot what I was doing.

 

[DarthBehemoth]

07 - Fateshit
Sorry for the late update guys, I'm a little busy with school and well, life ATM.

After getting out of the tower, the game presents us with our first level up.

Skill trees! Look guys, this game isn't so bad after all

I have to say that the skill trees look promising and are probably great for some character development. Sadly this is a demo, so no skillz upgradez herez.

We traverse the shire, looking for our quest-guy. Notice how the road is highlighted on the minimap

Oh boy.

SHIT GRANDPA JUST GOT REAL

If he goes all Obi-Wan and says I've been expecting you I'm gonna ragequit

The Dialouge wheel, feeding our KKodex Rage since 2007

For those of you ready to rage at this screenshot (How could he know the midget is dead?!) take a look at this next screenshot

Ha! See! Explanation!

GTFO! That's a persaude option?

Wow. He takes the death of his friend pretty well

And this point I needed to smash something. I HATE it when developers have no clue on how to use a dialouge wheel, yet they do it anyway.

The consoleturd brain finally gets it.

And that means?!

What?! No! TELLUH MEH WHAT U SAHW!

Shits about to get real BROs!

More are coming

[Intelligence] F is the new AWESOME button in this demo

Fun fact: I read fateshit

Whoah!

But we already know their fate...?! They're gonna get killed.

AWESUM

MAJESTIC

I LOL'ed

So we basically just said Fuck You to Newton and Einstein?! We just did it!

I already see a prequel coming: Amalur: Inception

Yay me!

We then get to choose a fate. Pretty stupid since this is the demo but hey, it's kinda cool

That's most of the demo for now, next update will be some funny, rageworthy screenshots I took in my last 45 minutes of Amalur

 

[DraQ]

(...)

Manipulating fate and choosing your own path, eh?

I fully expect lots of derpy railroaded quests then.

 

[felipepepe]

Manipulating fate and choosing your own path, eh?

I fully expect lots of derpy railroaded quests then.

Actually, they just found a in-game lore reason to why there's no C&C.

 

[RK47]

....can't expect much out of this turd. What a trainwreck.

 

[CappenVarra]

I think I'll just stop reading, rage levels approaching hiver/10 even if I never planned to play this

 

[DraQ]

I think I'll just stop reading, rage levels approaching hiver/10 even if I never planned to play this

Aw, come on - you know that amnesia + undying protagonist makes it just like PS:T, while freedom from the threads of fate adds LoK into the mix.

At least that's how it will be portrayed by journos and fags fans with enough brain matter to know that there was PS:T and that it's considered an ambitious game, in attempt to learn their monocles.

 

[CappenVarra]

Let's not forget your favourite game, Baldur's Gate :whistle:

History of the Fateful Coin:

Old tales tell that luck plays a crucial role in each person's life. When each new-born baby enters into the Realms, Tymora flips a coin formed from the remnants of the original goddess of luck, Tyche. Beshaba calls it in the air - the moon (heads) or the cloak (tails). If Beshaba is right, that person is cursed with misfortune for the rest of his or her days. If she's wrong, Lady Luck smiles on that child for the rest of his or her life. For some rare beings, the coin lands edge on - and these luckless few can forge their own fates, for they have more freedom over their destinies than the powers themselves.

 

[TripJack]

this game looks terrible

bravo