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Myth: A New Age CYOA

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by Fangshi, Jan 15, 2014.

  1. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    It is possible, it is also a gross violation of the dignity and privacy of the dwarven nobility but it could be fun as well. :lol:

    The difficulty comes from convincing Morpheus and the demons to actually do that much work, they would have to sort through a lot of boring material and/or search quite thoroughly to root out the conspirators and there would definitely be luck involved. You will likely have to give them something... no idea what though, something interesting.

    Also:

    Show Spoiler


    It really does seem fitting. ;)


    Yes they would and it would be a way to help them financially if you want to try and convince the King to do so.

    Current Tally:

    Show Spoiler
    Baltika9: 1.C, 2.Bvi (METAL), 3.A>D, 4.A, 5.A

    Nevill: 1.D>A>Biv, 2.Bvi (METAL), 3.E, 4.A, 5.A

    Absinthe: 1.x, 2.Bv, 3.x, 4.x, 5.A

    Jester: 1.D, 2.Bv, 3.E, 4.A, 5.A

    Azira: 1.Bi, 2.Bv>Bx, 3.C>E, 4.x, 5.x

    Kz3r0: 1.D, 2.Bv, 3.E, 4.A, 5.A

    archaen: 1.D>A>Biv, 2.Bvii (Diadem of Dreams - Morpheus' Nightmare), 3.E, 4.A, 5.B?

    Grimgravy: 1.C, 2.Bv, 3.C, 4.B, 5.B

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    And an update on the general timeline of updates:

    The Interlude should still be up before the end of the weekend, likely some time within the next twenty six hours or so.

    The vote will close on Tuesday (thirty six hours from now). So if anyone has any further questions feel free to ask them.

    And finally the update will come sixteen to twenty four hours after the vote closes.
     
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  2. Kz3r0 Arcane

    Kz3r0
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    Actually this is a question that could piss off Morpheus, considering how the Oneroi enslaved him and that their master was a demon as well I wonder if the Oneroi's master wasn't part of the dreaming as well.
    So, can we just ask who was the Oneroi's master?
     
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  3. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    Well, we certainly don't intend to use 'we saw it in the dream' as evidence, so no one has to know their privacy was violated in such a fashion.

    After we'll have a list of suspects on our hands, we can set the pathfinders to the real secret police duty. I am sure concrete and tangible evidence to support the case will be coming up shortly, and the cultists will be quick to drown each other if we take several of them at once. Conspiracies always fall apart that way.

    Hell, we don't have to do anything with it, officially - the whole operation might stay an inside thing.

    Now, what to promise Morpheus... I have no clue, honestly. I'd promise him the Watcher's agents, but it seems wrong as it promotes a prosecution of innocent parties as well ('the more you condemn, the more rewards you get'). Ah, we'll figure something out.

    Hm. What is happening with our two Oneiroi prisoners? How do they even manage to sleep after they made an enemy of the Dreaming? Is Morpheus a forgiving type? :lol:

    And if not, how much would those two be worth to him? I have no problem trading them away to get to the next batch of villains.
     
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  4. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    Some spell questions.

    1) How long would it take for us to pick up Bestial Tongue from Lyssa? It would be nice to talk to the mice directly, and besides, Martin is our personal companion.
    2) Did Lyssa use Tame on the mice or didn't she? The spell renders the affected animal "friendly and loyal", which is more than can be said for our mercenary force. It looks to me like she mostly used the old-fashioned method of cajoling the animals into service rather than charming them with magic.
    3) How well do animal spells work on 'sentient' beings? What separates animals and 'more complex' creatures? The line have become very blurred with the introduction of the Rodent Commonwealth who do not behave like animals at all, but have their community modelled after humans instead, with many traits common to sentient civilizations (ancestors worship, oral tradition, tool usage - including weapons!, etc).
    4) Did we manage to successfully modify Retrieve Item spell to not require line of sight? Otherwise how could we pull the pin and blow up Gullveig? Will such changes be reflected on the spell list?
    5) What is the difference between Control and Dominate (which was only mentioned in passing?
    6) Can we customize the Fear spell to clarify the type of fear we want to invoke in a target? A panicking fear that urges the target to flee, a paralyzing fear that freezes them in their tracks, an intimidating fear that makes them pull their eyes away and submit to our will.
    7) What is the difference between Enhanced Projection and the other types? What kind of projection did Lyssa use to simulate wight attacks in the 'In for a Pound' chapter? My guess is that she used Animated Area Projection, and it was already nearly perfect. What is the use of Enhanced Projection, then?
    8) Do False Image/Smell/Sound have individuals or area as their target? What spell do we use to make several people hear things that aren't there?
    9) How does violent projection work? The way it was presented in the Martin vs wererabbit fight is that it is used momentarily to make your target think they are wounded. Is there a spell to make your target think they are trading blows with a real opponent instead?

    Is Astrid still working on her remote bomb that can be activated by retrieving it? Can the bomb be used with sticky substances, like the yellow sap? I am trying to create a non-lethal ensnaring device here.
     
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  5. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    He was a spoilt little child that wanted far more than fate had given him. Morpheus refuses to say more for the moment, he claims it is a matter for demons not mortals.

    Well now, does that make it better? I wonder... :lol:

    They are or were in a Pathfinder prison.

    He has been having a little fun with their dreams, but recently they have stopped dreaming, he does not know why.

    He might forgive but he will never forget and vengeance is far more fun than turning the other cheek. ;)

    They would not be worth too much, their minds just are not that interesting. They are clever enough but their thoughts are stale and boring and he would not go too far out of his way to acquire them.

    1. Well it is a school you know nothing about but the ladies are all quite bright, it should not take more than a few weeks and it would likely take less.

    2. She did not use Tame on the mice, given how many of them there are in the fort she thought it would be wiser to try and work with them first rather than jumping directly to subjugating them. After all if negotiations broke down she could always force a handful of them to serve loyally but once she starts to control them that way there will be no way to return to negotiating.

    They have also all been magically altered at least a little already which will make it slightly harder to properly bind them.

    3. In theory they could work if the ladies realized that humans and the like are themselves animals but it would be difficult to pull off and it would not be what the spells were designed for. In some respects animals spells are very similar to mental spells in their mechanical effects, though the ritual and philosophical underpinning of each make them seem quite different to their practitioners, in fact a sufficiently 'unorthodox' and wise mage might be able to realize this fact (and there may well be other such similarities between different schools and traditions masked by the pageantry of wizardry) if they took the time to really question what they are learning.

    Could an animal based spell work on a 'sentient' species? Yes, it could but it would not be easy. The mind of sentient species are generally more cluttered and complex than those of animals, even low INT and WIS characters are likely to possess a mind that surpasses those of many animals, as a result it is much more difficult for animal based spells to influence 'sentient' than it is for them to influence regular animals. As your target's mind grows in complexity the animal based spells begin to lose much of their force and by the time you are dealing with a human or a dwarf those animal based spells become a far less effective means of persuasion or control than simple using mental spells or illusion spells.

    So in the case of the Blackrock rodents, they are more difficult to control and the smarter and more sophisticated they become the harder they will be to control. The spell-casting mice for example would get to roll as 'sentients' (at a higher level of resistance) for many tests where as most of the other animals you have encountered would not. If the mice continue on their path then at some unknown point in the future they may well jump over the 'line' between the 'basic' animal species of Myth and the 'advanced' and 'sentient' species of the setting. If that happens then you would be better off treating them like you would a dwarf or maul rather than a pet.

    4. Yes, you did. It is actually a separate spell and it needs a separate entry but I have not had a moment to actually get to it lately. After I am done with what I am working on, and after I get the Interlude posted and the update out tonight, then I will look at giving the character sheets and the spell/skill listings a pass to see if I missed anything else. So there will likely be some changes there in the next day or two, my apologies for falling behind, long weekends, alcohol, and getting work done just do not mix too well it seems. ;)

    5. Control lets you play the puppeteer and manipulate another creature provided you do not do anything else and you maintain a line of sight to your target. It also gives the target a chance to resist the spell and a second chance to resist if you ask them to do something they strongly disagree with. So it is quite a powerful spell (though not one you have much control over at the moment) but it also has a number of restrictions.

    Dominate is the Deceiver's favourite trick and has far fewer limitations but you do not really know anything about it at the moment. Based on the stories from the war it grants the caster complete control over their target but beyond that you know very little (it is safe to assume though that it has far fewer limitations than control).

    6. You can if you want, normally the general spell would let you pick the type of fear when you cast it but you could also create specialized versions of the spell that only create a certain type of fear. If you did it would speed up the spell somewhat as you would be removing an entire step from casting it. It would likely take a little time to devise but it is well within the combined abilities of the ladies as it would be a fairly simple change (a few days to do properly).

    7. Enhanced projection is just a more powerful version of projection, the image it conjures up is harder for the target to resist.

    Lyssa used Animated Area Projection with Derryth and Thaïs fueling her spell.

    Animated Area Projection is harder for her to cast by a fairly wide margin, she would not have been able to pull off the spell if Derryth and Thaïs had not been helping her. Enhanced projection requires less effort and it is not a ritual so you do not have to worry as much about positioning. It is like saying which is better a mallet or a screwdriver, they are simply different tools.

    8. Single targets. Lyssa would need to improvise group versions of those spells if you want to hit more than one person at a time.

    9. It makes the target think they are wounded.

    It can not really simulate an entire fight by itself though, you would likely need to use multiple spells to achieve that.

    It could be woven together with other illusion spells and set into a sequence that could simulate an actual duel if you knew the proper meta magic spells.

    Alternatively if Lyssa taught her fellow mages a few of her illusion spells then the three of them could work together to stage a 'fight' though it would require crackerjack timing.

    You could also do it by combining mental and illusion spells though that would only fool the target in all likelihood.

    Yes, though she has been spending most of the last day with Bari so she has not made much progress since the last update.

    I don't see why it couldn't work so yes, you could make a sticky bomb as easily as anything else.


    Finally the Interlude is late, obviously, but it should be up today as soon as I have a moment to give it a few more passes and alter a few things (part of it has to be rewritten and extended a little).

    I was going to do the editing yesterday, but whiskey...

    I will close the vote when I post the Interlude and I will then likely begin work on the update immediately so the interlude will likely be up in the next nine hours while the update will be out within sixteen to twenty four hours.
     
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  6. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    It does. We are not the ones sifting through their dreams and private stuff, the demons are. Those have access to their minds anyway.

    I don't really care for little green men reading my thoughts, especially if they live in another dimension and our paths are likely to never cross. But a violation of my privacy by another man is likely to be very uncomfortable. It really does make a difference to have your mail read by an ad bot (or something just as alien) and a fellow human.

    And those that trigger the 'Watcher alarm' and have people act upon their dreams do not deserve their privacy in the first place.

    Goddammit, they were killed in that prison raid, weren't they? Eberhardt fuckers. :argh:

    I hope Trakk's family is ok. Though they were in a safehouse, not in the prison.

    Well, I am certain Bari didn't want Miosguinn just because he had a good voice and very melodic screams.

    Morpheus wanted Caoilainn to 'help repay the debt' the Oneiroi owed him. Is she, a simple mercenary on a guard duty, more interesting to him than two actual mages who had a hand in wronging him personally? Ah, well, it might be for the better if he does not want his vengeance anymore. Less blood on our own hands.
     
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  7. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    Demon Lord =/= Grief stricken widower. Their priorities might be different.

    Caoilainn is more interesting (and a cynical person would note also far cuter) than the Oneiroi mages. She also is not a brainwashed cultist, they really are not all that much fun to fuck with. They are all about worshiping the 'master' and 'avenging' themselves on their 'enemies', there just is not much of a 'meal' there for a dream demon so they can do little to repay their debt except die.

    Caoilainn however has desires and dreams and fears that would be delightful to experience, Morpheus would love to have her as his guest.

    I also would not assume that he does not want vengeance, he might just be setting his sights a little higher than a pair of cultists... :smug:
     
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  8. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    Oh? Does he care to tell us more? Who knows, we might be able to do a favor to the both of us if we know enough. We certainly aren't on good terms with his captors anymore.

    As far as we know, the Oneiroi demon is dead, and the cultists with him. Who else is left for him to take his vengeance upon?
     
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  9. Kz3r0 Arcane

    Kz3r0
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    Considering how pleasant is this chit-chat I would like to ask Morpheus about the Spider Goddess while we are at it.
    Another thing I would like to ask is about The Watcher, would be Morpheus interested in getting some of his pieces to toy with?
    Does he think that can handle an archmage broken in little rocks?
     
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  10. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    If TFM was a sufficiently challenging opponent for Morpheus, then the Watcher can probably overwhelm him. A man who can go toe-to-toe with Mazzarin is probably stronger than a God, not to mention a Demon.

    I wonder how much of an apocalypse it would be to let the Watcher inside the Dreaming and allow him access to everyone's sleeping mind. :lol: That's some Cthulhu LP material.
     
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  11. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    He nods and smiles. He says that he knows her and has 'known' her for some time. He winks and you both roll your eyes.

    She is powerful, she is patient, she can be cunning but he finds that she gets angry too easily. She is one of the more 'human' gods he has encountered and she is also one of the most active in mortal affairs.

    He likes her most days but she can be a pain and it is terribly troublesome when she decides to try and kill him which happens far too often.

    Was there something in particular that you wished to know about her?

    He thanks you for the offer but he must sadly decline. While he is a collector there are some things that simply are not worth the risk. He will not involve himself directly in opposition to the Watcher, he has no wish to die.

    The archmage's body is broken but no one is sure if his mind is broken as well. Morpheus is not sure what would happen if he drew the Watcher's attention to the Dreaming but he has no intention of finding out.
     
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  12. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    Does she bat for the other team?
     
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  13. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    Like a lot of the more 'human' deities and demons she is a real switch-hitter. ;)
     
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  14. Kz3r0 Arcane

    Kz3r0
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    Well I would like to know what kind of means the Spider Goddess usually use to enter our world and if he knows of some other place except old MUIRTHEMNE where she was or is active.
    Cite the fact that she hates us in case we didn't already mentioned it, if we didn't told him about our encounter with her we can tell him the story in exchange for useful informations or some little help against her.
     
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  15. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    She requires some sort of gate to enter the world. If she wanted to come through herself it would have to be at least as tall as a person. If she was trying to send through minions then it could be smaller or larger depending on what exactly she is trying to send through. He is not sure how she builds her gates but they usually require a focus, a circle of mages or some sort of artefact/ingedients.

    She can also contact her followers through a variety of means. Sometimes she does it directly through artefacts in their possession though that usually requires effort to create and move said artefacts. On occasion she will also visit Morpheus in the Dreaming and ask him to let her contact some of her followers. As he is a true gentleman (and would rather not get into a fist fight with her every time he sees her) he usually obliges by 'connecting her calls' for her. He has seen her meet with a number of robbed humans in the Eastern Empire and with several dwarves from the Kingdom though he will not betray her trust by discussing the details of those meetings. Her cult does not seem to have a presence in the western half of the continent from what Derryth can tell.

    He listens intently to your story, laughs and shakes his head. He does not seem terribly concerned for you or for her, "A shame you did not hit it off with her but as I said she does have quite a temper and from what you have told me you have not simply annoyed her, you have challenged her and she is rather competitive by nature," he chuckles, "Tell you what, I will not provide you with any detailed information about her activities here or in the other planes but by the same token I will not supply her with any detailed information about your activities in the Dreaming or elsewhere. That is the best I can do I am afraid."

    He does give you one other piece of advice though. Like most of her fellows she breaks the worlds down into three parts. Those that are weaker than her, those that are her equals and those that are her superiors. You would do well to demonstrate that you belong to the second or third group.

    Not much you can help him with. The demon has 'family' and they will need to be dealt with before they start to wonder what happened to the Oneiroi demon. He has his agents on it, if things don't go as planned and he finds he needs outside help he will let you know.
     
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  16. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    That reminds me. How well does Martin handle the fact that we have two hyper-active kids with us and he is the cutest and fluffiest member of our team?

    The were-rabbits are not the scariest things there are in the world. :lol:
     
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  17. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    It is a tricky thing, he must constantly be on guard from surprise 'cuddling', a terror and an embarrassment for a brave warrior such as him.

    However the girls also give him 'treats' whenever they spot him so he does quite like them though he fears he is putting on a little weight.

    Edit:

    I still have not had time to do any proper work on the CYOA and I just lost my free time for the rest of the night so everything will have to be pushed further back.

    It won't actually take too long to post the interlude when I do have a moment to finish the rewrite but it will all be a matter of when exactly I can get that time. The update will likely come in the next day or two as well, I just need to take care of a few things I have to do before I can focus more on Myth. The good news though is that I should have more free time a little later this week so I might be able to 'back load' the updates for this week and still get in a full three posts for the CYOA, we will have to see I suppose.
     
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  18. Nevill Arcane

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    How much control over our environment do we have in a lucid dream? How does it work in a shared dream?

    If we want to reconstruct a memory, can we fully re-live it? Can we alter its outcome if the memory in question is a particularly bad one?

    Say, can Thais finally face Shiver of her memories and win, conquering her fears?
    She said she can't do it alone (yet), but in the shared dream we can add the power of our minds to hers.
     
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  19. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    You have full control to create and shape things but you can not do any permanent harm to anyone or anything in the Dreaming. The same goes for everyone else that is aware that they are dreaming.

    You can reconstruct a memory if you want to, as long as you are aware of the memory in question.

    As for fully re-living it you can view it as an external observer if you wish or you can assume the role you originally played in the memory. You can not alter it in a meaningful way, it will play out as it did originally, similar to a recording. The owner of the memory can speed it up, slow it down, stop it entirely and the like but it will always play out the same way.

    You could construct a 'dream' that ends differently but it would be separate from the memory in question.

    Yes and no.

    If you simply replay her memories of the event then they will play out exactly as it happened.

    If you construct a dream about it you could win fairly easily.

    However neither would defeat the 'Shiver' that haunts Thaïs.

    It is not so much a dream or a figment of her past as it is a part of her mind (like Nine's creatures or Henry in your own mind) she needs to come to terms with 'Shiver' and 'defeat' her by dealing with the concepts and fears that gave birth to her. You could help her prepare in the Dreaming if she was willing to let you but ultimately it is something she has to work through herself (unless you are willing to enter her mind again and help her defeat the 'real' 'Shiver' that lurks there. It is sort of like the way that Henry's death constitutes a crippling memory for Derryth, that crypt is Derryth's 'Shiver' and it looms large in her mind.

    It might work that way in her actual mind but the same protections that keep you from being actually hurt while in the Dreaming would also prevent you from hurting 'Shiver'.
     
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  20. Nevill Arcane

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    I am well aware that whatever fear there is, it comes from Thais' own mind, and she is the one who has to deal with it.

    What we can offer her is another perspective. Faced with the same fear, the same memory, she is likely to have the same reaction - that of blind panic. One is unable to easily come to terms with a traumatic memory - else the memory would not be traumatic in the first place.

    It is a similar approach I wanted to take with Brenna and Anleifr to help them. The issues that plague them are likely to be complex, but I am suspecting that a crippling fear before their captors is one of them. In their minds, they probably view their tormentors as an unstoppable, all-powerful force that could do with their lives as it pleases. What I thought we could do for them is help them face them again, inside their minds, and realise that those forces that they thought to be almighty are mere mortal men who just happened to have more power than them at the moment - disgusting, drunk with impunity, but men nonetheless. They, too, can feel fear and pain; they can be resisted; they can be fought. Once they have the strength to look their torturers in the eyes without turning away, they would be halfway through the recovery process. They would be the survivors, not the victims. There is a major difference in the mindset.

    I think Thais as she is now would not be scared by Shiver, the Watcher, or even Balor himself. She has what it takes to overcome her fear. But she need someone else to point it out to her.

    It's like geese. A gaggle of mean grown-up geese might scare away even an adult man, but they will still run away in panic at a sight of a 5-year old girl who used to terrorize them when they were geeselings. But should there be one goose who didn't share that memory and stood their ground, things might become different.
     
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  21. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    So if I understand you correctly you would like to construct versions of their memories (new dreams) in which the fears they imagine can be physically conquered in order to build the target's confidence and allow them to slay these 'demons' within their own minds?

    That should be doable and if they believe in the lessons you teach them it might work.

    If you wanted to help them directly though you would have to use infiltration to enter their minds yourself/yourselves with all the normal dangers that would bring.
     
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  22. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    Somewhat.

    Fears are, more often than not, irrational. Once explained and properly understood, they might go away. The danger associated with them might remain, but the fear itself loses its will-draining qualities. It is like Derryth said:
    It isn't necessary to physically conquer something in order to build confidence. How do you conquer a flood to escape a fear of drowning? How do you conquer gravity to escape a fear of heights? However, there is a need to show an affected person that those fears can be faced, that they can be resisted. Even if they can't be destroyed, they can be understood and dealt accordingly.

    I am not sure, though, what is a 'direct' help and how it differs from an 'indirect' one?
     
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  23. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    You find the representation of your target's fear 'in the wild' of their own mind and you blast it to smithereens. Problem solved, as you have literally killed the part of the person that had that fear. It is a little drastic and you can expect such potent fears to be quite powerful but it is certainly doable if one is willing to risk their mind/life to get directly involved. In contrast the indirect method does not kill the fear on its own but if it works it does rob the fear of its power over the target.
     
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  24. Nevill Arcane

    Nevill
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    Shadorwun: Hong Kong
    I still don't quite get it. Doesn't the first method cause more harm than good? How do you kill a fear? What feeling comes instead? Doesn't it just numb any reaction you might have to the triggering event?

    It is alright to be afraid of Shiver (or rather, Ravanna, though in truth the abomination was neither of them). She was a mighty sorceress and she caused untold death and destruction wherever she went. Her cruelty was legendary - she even clawed out the eyes of a soldier who couldn't hide being disgusted by her visage. Even Lyssa, who had seen her share of misery in service of the Soulblighter, have fled the moment she looked in her eyes.

    But you can't let that fear control you. Ravanna can't hurt Thais now. She is no longer helpless, she is no longer alone. More than that, now she knows that Ravanna was not a mythic thousand years old wizard, but actually a construct of two archmages' memories hastily thrown together, a glorified mix between a shade and the Drowned Dead that we are killing in droves lately. The sorceress was a scary adversary, but Thais would not flee in mindless panic before someone like her today. Yet the fear remains.

    Fighting Ravanna in Thais' mind is suicidally dangerous. Regardless of whether we could or couldn't win in a real battle, in Thais' mind she is invincible as long as our friend is afraid of her. She remembers her that way, an unspeakable horror that no one, save for the most powerful of mages, could oppose and live. Fear is the power that feeds Ravanna's strenght in our friend's mind.

    Still, if entering one's mind is the only way to be done with the issue once and for all, why can't we combine the two approaches? Rid Thais of her irrational fear before the archmage, and then face her together inside our heads when she is no longer shielded by the very concept of invulnerability, when Thais' mind knows that she could have been defeated and humbled like any being made of flesh and bones can.

    Shouldn't this work better?

    What is Derryth's issue with the crypt where Henry died? Does she blame herself for his death? What is it in that memory that makes it unbearable for her? Except for a gruesome death of a person closest to her at the time, I mean.
     
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  25. Fangshi Arcane

    Fangshi
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    Yes, some people would argue that the first method is not worth the risk, that it harms the target but it is the surest way to remove that sort of crippling fear.

    You kill a fear by murdering it in the mind. It is similar to what would have happened if you had picked a side between Ravanna and Culwyeh in Nine's mind. If you had killed one or both of them then that aspect of Nine's mind would cease to be. The only real difference here is that Shiver is not a separate personality from Thaïs.

    No feeling replaces it, you create a hole when you destroy a part of a person's mind. If Shiver dies then whatever she represents also dies, for example if Shiver were the manifestation of a fear of fire (she isn't) then when she dies Thaïs would cease to fear fire but nothing new would immediately replace it.

    Exactly, it would completely remove any emotional reaction to that particular stimuli.

    You can certainly attempt that, provided she is willing to try. No way to know for sure how well it would work though.

    It represents failure for her, if she had been better maybe he would be alive.

    Yes, she probably does hold herself at least partially responsible for his death. She is not really the sort of person to dwell on such things and sit around wringing her hands but given how strongly she feels about never leaving her people behind I would say it is fairly safe to assume that she is carrying a little baggage with her from Henry's death.

    It is unbearable because she had to watch as her friend, 'father' and mentor died before her. As a result that tomb has come to represent her failures, the death of her parents, the death of Henry, the death of Tyrvard, it is the part of her mental landscape where the dead rest uneasily and their accusations carry on the wind. Now with the willpower that woman has she probably could confront it if necessary without turning into a quivering mess but it is a part of her mind that she is uncomfortable around and afraid of.
     
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