New Mass Effect interview: Cap'n Shepard = Jack Bauer

[Stalagmite]

Oh, AJ when's that sister of yours due to arive by Fed-Ex in that box decorated with customized hounorblades? You promised.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

She's on route via Blackhart and KreideBeans.

 

[Romanian_Dude2005]

Party Member #1: Hey, Cap'n Shepard! We just run out of Spacepsi and the crew is getting realy thirsty from this.

Cap'n Shepard: [grabs party member by the collar and thrusts his head in the toilet] YOU THIRSTY NOW YOU SON OF A BICTH! DRINK GOD DAMMIT!

Party Member: Hggmmmmm!!!

Cap'n Shepard: OH RIGHT! I FORGOT! [flushes the toilet]



Party Member #2: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Cap'n... I got yooooooooou a birthday present... wanna' see?

Cap'n Shepard: YOU DON'T TELL 'ME' WHAT 'I' WANT! [forces a plasma grenade in the party member's mouth and throws him in the cargo hall, sealing the door... BOOM!]

Party Member #3: Holy shit!



Party Member #4: Wow this looks delicious, let's say grace everybody!

Cap'n Shepard: [forces down a stuffed pig inside the party member's throat, thus chowking him to death] GRACE GOD FUCKING JESUS MARY AND JOSHEP DAMMIT!

 

[Stalagmite]

you over did it a little

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

 

[Stalagmite]

CJP you are one funny motherfucker! Keep it up!

 

[Fez]

Careful now, if you keep it up too long you'll end up being hired by Bioware.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

I'll back out of this one.

 

[Castanova]

Is it just me or does it look like Commander Sheppard should be wearing a stud earring and some gold necklaces. Muy bien cojones, Senor Sheppard!

 

[Cthulhugoat]

Cap'n Shepard is Mr. T. in disguise.

 

[kingcomrade]

He looks like his name should be Mustafa.

 

[TalesfromtheCrypt]

He looks like his name should be Mustafa.

 

[Lord Chambers]

Commander Shepard is the offspring of Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel.

 

[Cthulhugoat]

Shepard: next internet meme.

 

[Fez]

I think that video is on youtube.

 

[FrancoTAU]

And to think that Chinese Jetpilot didn't win the best new poster poll

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

And to think that Chinese Jetpilot didn't win the best new poster poll

Jimbob has posted a lot more funny stuff than I have The only thing he's missing is Photoshop. I was fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it) to have had an ex-girlfriend who worked in advertising, so I was able to pilfer an older version of Photoshop several years ago.

I'll back out of this one.

Once you agree to work with Shepard, there is no backing out, only moving forward. Get to work!

Careful now, if you keep it up too long you'll end up being hired by Bioware.

Well I know how to use all the buzz words, so I'm sure I'd fit right in.

Commander Shepard's latest outburst below:

 

[Surgey]

actually, that would be quite cool and original...

A game with nothing to do would be original, but I doubt it'd be cool. You're a terrible liar. Or a great idiot.

 

[JoKa]

actually, that would be quite cool and original...

A game with nothing to do would be original, but I doubt it'd be cool. You're a terrible liar. Or a great idiot.

*yawn* name-calling's getting you nowhere, moron.

you just described a single situation, not a whole game, which, I'll repeat for your better understanding, would be pretty cool and original to have in a game- especially at the start, as it'd make the world around you more believable: you're not alone out there to kill your bloody generic dark prince, out to enslave the whole world for some stupid reason or just for the heck of it. it'd surprise you, as a player, because you're not the Chosen 'Un, not the only person who can change that otherwise static environment you're in - and your next step would be to find new goals, explore the world, find the 'real' story as you will.
but i suppose you need the feeling of self-importance and couldn't stand playing a game in which the world's not revolving around you...
...in that case you could slaughter those 'cool adventurers' who killed 'your' dark prince...

still not seeing why that would be a nice change from the generic fantasy-story...?

 

[FrancoTAU]

Why does that chick look like an Imperial Stormtrooper?

 

[KreideBein]

CJ, you are truly a patriot.

 

[Chinese Jetpilot]

Why does that chick look like an Imperial Stormtrooper?

Yeah. That stupid helmet of hers is way over-the-top too.

I should add that I find her hideous; her voice is whiny to boot. I think I'd rather have my character's love interest be Garrus at this point.

And every subsequent shot I see of Shepard, his face looks as if its about to morph into a rat's.

 

[kingcomrade]

He's probably just got some Hispanic blood.

 

[sheek]

In 200 years everybody will be yellow-brown, according to my history teacher...

 

[sabishii]

actually, that would be quite cool and original...

A game with nothing to do would be original, but I doubt it'd be cool. You're a terrible liar. Or a great idiot.

You should quit gaming if you suck so much that other adventurers beat you to the boss.