Oblibion: The Comic

[Stella Brando]

Thanks, sweetie. I'll do anything to repay you - anything.

 

[Vault Dweller]

 

[Chefe]

edit

 

[Stella Brando]

Here's a real one. In my defence, people do tell me I look like a girl.

 

[Chefe]

There will be none of this tomfoolery in the comic thread.

Anyways, I deleted the pic. I sure as hell didn't want to look at that thing every time I browsed this page. It was too horrible, even for my eyes.

 

[Bosco]

Updates please! This is Chefe, not the Elder Scrolls main page!

 

[Section8]

That was without a doubt the best thing this forum has had to offer.

They loves ya! They can'ts get enough of ya! Embrace your destiny as the ESF Alpha, Chefe!

 

[Chefe]

They loves ya! They can'ts get enough of ya! Embrace your destiny as the ESF Alpha, Chefe!

AND THE LORD GOD SAW WHAT HE HATH CREATED AND WAS ANGERED. THE GOOD LORD THAN SPAKE "BRING FORTH FROM THE HEAVENS A LEADER TO THINE RETARDED ELDER SCROLLS COMMUNITY. MAY HE ENLIGHTEN ALL THEIR STUPID SOULS." AND IT WAS DONE.

- The Book of Chefe, 4:3

 

[Tintin]

AND THE LORD GOD SAW WHAT HE HATH CREATED AND WAS ANGERED. THE GOOD LORD THAN SPAKE "BRING FORTH FROM THE HEAVENS A LEADER TO THINE RETARDED ELDER SCROLLS COMMUNITY.

Spake?

 

[Bosco]

Dictionary.com told me it's a real word.

 

[oherror]

Dictionary.com told me it's a real word.

now thats funny....

whats its def any how.....

 

[Chefe]

AND THE LORD GOD SAW WHAT HE HATH CREATED AND WAS ANGERED. THE GOOD LORD THAN SPAKE "BRING FORTH FROM THE HEAVENS A LEADER TO THINE RETARDED ELDER SCROLLS COMMUNITY.

Spake?

Read the bible sometime... heathen.

 

[oherror]

but that takes work in finding it......your easier to get the answer from......oh great educator!

 

[Chefe]

fuck

 

[Necropennis]

Funny thing is my name is Eduardo :/

 

[Chefe]

Are you ze Radiant az well?

 

[Section8]

Funny thing is my name is Eduardo :/

So is mine if she wants it to be.

 

[Greatatlantic]

Hmmm... sorry Chefe, it just wasn't as funny the second time around. You re-used two jokes that were pretty darn funny originally: the "I'm not radiant enough for..." and the highly illogical wiki-dialogue, including the latest rumors. Didn't Morrowind also have "a little secret" you could have used? Might I suggest a thread where you discuss the posibility of completely ignoring the main quest and doing your own thing? Or howabout Murray being completely puzzled by something added by a user made mod? Or why don't you go after Achievements, they are ripe for the picking. Or, go ahead and go make a section about lighting dogs on fire. Just imagine an entire town filled with burned corpses of dead dogs...

That should give you enough material... I think.

 

[The Internets]

I don't know. I think it's right time you become a victim of your own success. You know, as in announce the arrival of the next installment, then have VD announce Chefe Codex has asked publisher Spazmo Inc. to push the release date back to 'some time in 2nd quarter of next week'.

Then completely ignore us for a week or so, but still post in other areas. Finally, come out and tell us your taking the time so you can "Make it really great", and "it will be out soon"

Then start posting like crazy on TES forums.

Soon enough, you'll notice an influx of fanboys on here starting bullshit threads about "What will Chefe name his next Charect3r", and "Whut willz teh graphiz 4 teh floor be liek? And possibly, just possibly, "Will you laminate your fucking monitor when it comes out"
That last one is NOT a joke. Someone please make that thread NOW.

 

[Twinfalls]

It's still pretty good to me - I fuckin' laughed immediately when I saw him carrying the bags of loot. Next episode plz

 

[OverrideB1]

Ted's dialogue cracks me up. And I really don't mind the same joke being recycled a few times. BTW -- isn't Ted still in uber-smack-down-god mode? If so, those ninja-assassin-asshole-dudes are in for a very big surprise -- no matter how radient they are

 

[Claw]

I think he restarted the game, OB1. You can also see he isn't wearing that leet red armour or wielding that big-ass sword anymore.

 

[Sarvis]

... and yet, somehow, life goes on.

Little do they know that, one day, Ted will become their guild leader! Ha!

Ninja sprites are from Shadow of the Ninja!

One of the better ninja games back in those days...

 

[yipsl]

Make a sprite comic about the The Elder Scrolls forum and you might be getting closer.

A sprite comic about the Elder Scrolls forum would be a mix of the Keebler Elves and the Manson cult. There are too many 'happy cookie eaters' who digest everything sugary the devs throw their way and far too many murderous non RPG gamers who just want to have their own little psychopathic sandbox.

A sprite comic about the Codex would be a mix of The Flat Earth Society and Animal House. All sorts of disreputable and disgusting language, habits and expression brought forth to prove that the Holy Writ of RPG gaming is Stat Based, must never appear as more than 16 bits lest the great Graphycs Whore of Babylsoft lead the faithful to damnable Actions in gaming.

In all seriousness, it's the marketing department that deserves lampooning over there. Maybe some of the preview sites can be thrown in for good measure.

 

[Sabregirl]

I vote for some more classic morrowind default topics like "little secret", "background" and the oh so informative "my trade". There must be soil erosion in there somewhere . . . I would go a little lighter on the radiant bit. Don't forget about the realistic physics - you could have Ted start dropping things for entertainment purposes alone. Staff rocket launchers (the blunted ax is great), the lockpicking and persuasion minigames (tetris anyone?) etc. etc.

Anyway for the most part these have been quite funny.

Keep it up!

Hilarious how so many of the TES forumers can't laugh at their "perfect" game.

edit- don't forget that there is no joinable 9divines faction

-S