- Jan 28, 2011
THE SAGA OF THE SECOND VIKING AGE
September 25, 1066
The sun rises over Stamford Bridge, and the sun sets on the Viking Age.
For three centuries, we have scourged the shores of Christendom. We have brought the Allfather's fury down on the slaves of the Slain God. We have hammered them so hard that even their calendar knows the Thunderer's name.
But our time is ending. Our people are fading from a world that now trades in silver, not in steel. We have been told we have one last chance for glory before we are lost to the ages. We have been told we should put our hope in Harald, the prince who disappeared into the frozen wastes and came back dripping with gold and jewels. The Returned King of Norsemen. His friends call him the Hard-Ruler. His foes call him nothing, because they are all dead.
Now he has raised the Raven Banner of Odin and sailed to England. He has gone west to bring a second dawn to the Viking Age. He has gone there bearing the True Norse Faith. He has gone to hack off the weak King Godwinson's head and pry off his crown with an axe.
He has gone there to die. Godwinson is not so weak as we thought. He will throw the Hard-Ruler's men into the sea and redden the waves with berserker blood. He will chop Harald's dragonships into kindling and cook his parsnips over their prows. Harald came for England, and he will get at best six feet of its ground. At worst he will dribble back to Norway to die in shame, forswearing Odin for a god who tolerates failure. And with the last great Viking King will end the great Viking Age.
That is what the Allfather warns me in my dreams. That is how the Trickster mocks me in my sleep. That is what will happen. Or would, except that the Thunderer struck my head with his hammer and reminded me that he made the Norsemen to take the peace from the world.
Thord, they call me. "Son of Viking." A good name--for now, all Viking men are my kin. And I have need of my brothers. For Thor has shown me what waits for us in the days ahead. The Christ-Men are coming for us. Today they watch the Last Viking King bleed, and tomorrow they will fear the Viking men no more. In the coming decade, or maybe the next, they will swarm out of their warm lands, burn our forests, tear down our temples, and slaughter us all. They are forging the swords that will do it now. They are growing strong. They think that they can win.
I can stop this. By word or by blood, I will bind together the last of the Free Norse: the feared Lapplanders, the mighty Vasterbotten, and we, the cunning Angermanlanders. Even Finns will take shelter in the Allfather's shadow. All will stand as one. We will gather in the darkness at the roof of the world, in the night that lasts for months. We will carve runes on our swords so that our enemies will know our gods' names. And we will wait.
The Christ-Men will come for Norse blood, but we will meet them with Norse blades. They will come for their god, but they will die for ours. They will come, but none will leave.
Come, little Christ-Men. Come and face Thord. Come and feel the hammer of the gods.
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Welcome to my Crusader Kings 2 LP. I'm playing as an independent Norse count, nestled in the bosom of Christian Scandinavia. I call the left one Sweden and the right one Norway. As I'll explain as it comes up, this is really fucking hard, which will make it interesting to play and hopefully interesting to read about.
I'll be alternating a bit between in-character narration, because it's fun when I can sustain it, and out-of-character narration, because I'm going to want to vent about the amount of bullshit the game will throw at me. (Spoiler: It will throw a LOT of bullshit at me.) There will also be some discussion of real history, where it's relevant, because the actual medieval era had a surprising amount of cool stuff in it.
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WARCHIEF THORD THE OLD
I. WARCHIEF OF THE WASTES
II. THE TERROR OF THE GULF
III. GODS' FRIENDS, AND THE WHOLE WORLD'S ENEMIES
IV. THE END OF WAR
JARL GUNGNIR THE TRICKSTER
V. MOST UNTRUSTWORTHY LEADER OF THE INFIDELS
VI. WITH SPEAR AND HAMMER
KING MJOLNIR THE BLOODY
VII. WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS A HAMMER
QUEEN MAER THE VALKYRIE
VIII. THE RISE OF THE VALKYRIE
IX. I AM THE PAGAN LORD
The world in 1127
Alternate Timeline: OUR SPIRITUAL LIEGE
Luzur's Conquest of Norway
Financial and geopolitcal report, 1180