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In Progress Odin demands blood! Let's revive the Viking Age in Crusader Kings 2!

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Kayerts, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. Kayerts Arcane

    Kayerts
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    Oh, good catch. My 60-month figure was calculated for revenue-generating buildings, not the city holding itself. Cities themselves are substantially better investments, then, though starting capital is an issue.
     
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  2. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    :eek:
    How about realm stability? Currently I played a game where all the western europe but Lotharinga is under my control + byzantium + arabia + abyssinia & few parts of egypt, but I haven't reached 100/month yet (well, quite a lot of them are recently conquered, but you get the point...). Won't your vassal constantly rebel? Do you tax your cities & temples harshly?
     
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  3. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
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    If you do that kind of money, you MUST be taxing cities, temples and nobles. Quite a bit as well. Now the question does come, how many revolts do you have? Frankly I prefer stability, and always go with the standard taxes. I have maybe one revolt every 20 years. In my opinion, getting more revolts is not worth any amount of money.
     
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  4. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    Not to mention your crown authority & amount of direct vassals... is most, if not all, of your vassals are counts? What religion did you play & if catholic, do you actually micromanage every bishoporics? How about your levy?

    For me, while my realm is sprawling from Iceland to Abyssinia (~1600 total baronies hold), there had been almost no revolt (it's like 1 direct vassal every 20-30 years) even during succession.
     
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  5. mondblut Arcane

    mondblut
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    They would, but they are not my vassals ;) After I gave away all the royal titles, those silly dukes and counts don't bother me any longer, and the underkings are loyal so far. Every once in a while I get a 1% rebellion chance from some non-kingdom border count, and send him a basket of flowers. Then of course there are 26+ intrigue spymasters ever ready to do some weeding of the overly ambitious and envious.

    Who doesn't? :D
     
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  6. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    Ahh, smart move :D
    Sadly I prefer to keep everything in the box, but your strategy is very smart I should say :D
    Another disadvantage is we cannot build anything on that city / bishoporics because the county isn't ours...
     
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  7. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
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    I see. To be honest, I never do something like this. Not judging you or anything, but I find it an extremely cheesy strategy. Basically you rely on the fact you have almost no vassals, and on the HRE bonus, to avoid rebellions. A valid strategy, but it somehow makes the game trivial. It is basically metagaming.

    If we want to be honest, it's also completely inaccurate hystorically. Apart from bohemia which was an elective kingdoms due to historic events, the emperor hold all the king titles. To be honest, I could not imagine an emperor wanting such big vasslas under him, too risky...

    As for taxation, you could not do that if you did not hand away the kingdoms. You'd have too many rebellions and too little troops. Besides, I'm not really seeing the point in artificially inflating your income like this. You must have finished the buildings a long time ago, and you certainly do not need mercenaries at this point.

    Personally, I stick with keeping all the kingdoms to myself, and taxation at normal levels. And I also only get empires through plain old conquest + usurp only. No cheesy elections with assassination or claims on the imperial title :P I feel that powergaming the acquisition of empires makes the game uninteresting :P

    For that matter, I always play or convert to orthodox. No cheesy "here have an entire kingdom cause we're bored" crusades
     
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  8. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    Vernydar

    But if you try doing that, I don't think you can handle the rebellions; Think about having your capital in byzantion / sicily & conquer iceland (+128% distance revolt), are you telling me that you'll be keeping the crown of norway? And don't give me answers of moving capital to somewhere nearer, assume you also have vassals at the other end of the map

    About the crusades, then you'll despise my playing style of "I want that kingdom, let's break a truce and declare a war" jihads :D (~40 crowns within 100 years), which is possible because I play as a muslim caliph of my muslim sect
     
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  9. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
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    In my current game I started in naples. The first kingdom I created IS the kingdom of Sicily. I moved my capital in palermo, because it's the biggest territory there, but it's pratically at the same place.

    I am currently (year 1237) at 544 holdings and growing. No empires yet. Monthly income is about 70 right now,and I have just about everything build in my 15 territories (no, not in my sub territories, I am talking of my personal holdings. But I did build the important universities and church schools and such). I did not go to iceland yes, but I am currently at the south-eastern territories of arabia, which iirc is +98% revolt risk due to distance, and I am doing fine. There's almost no revolts at all except for newly conquered people, and that's with a king with diplomacy 9.

    The keys to this are:
    - Convert anyone you conquer (or better yet, put up a newly invited holy man there)
    - Possibily, same culture as well (read above: invited holy man)
    - make sure it's a de jure territory (be sure to create or usurp kingdoms as soon as possible)
    - normal, starting taxation
    - and most important, medium crown authority. I will say it again, medium crown authority. Anything above it is stupid and completely unnecessary. You gain nothing of real value and you get a huge hit to opinion

    I am not sure about 128%, but 98% is more than possible this way. It works in my game just fine. You just have to keep the people's opinion up, which is not hard.

    Am I playing in a non-optimal way? yes, absolutely. It's also quite hard.

    Am I having fun? yes, most definitely so.

    Once again I do not want to judge, I just find the game boring and uninteresting if I metagame it using "tactics" that would have been impossible and nonsensical in history. Like, mass assassination, crusades spam, giving away kingdoms, raising taxation to impossible levels because the game is scripted so that does not result in a revolt if I do some other things. In the real world all this would have NEVER worked :P
     
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  10. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    I agree that 98% is possible, but with 128% it's already on the border of "impossible unless imprisoned"

    Let's see... Distance is -128% (my capital is LECCE, because it has legalism 3. Planning to move to THARCE)
    DeJure +15%
    Culture +15%
    Religion +15%

    So you have to keep opinion > 73 & never raise CA beyond medium
    I expect that this kind of distance will not be manageable once I moved to byzantium

    For me, I took a further step in my conquest; all dukes and above are from MY DYNASTY (or at least, I matrilineally marry them before they become a duke). Contrary to perhaps some of your expectations, it's much harder to manage, because the opinion bonus is nullified by primo succession & even elective succession will not please them. Worst of all, they have claims on each other's realm & inherit each other. Matrilineally married children are no better, because if such "wild branch of family" died (I used strict agnatic because I play muslim), the succession reverts to seniority..

    And yeah, I too agree that in real world lots of these tactics are impossible. But I'm enjoying my game too :). I guess it works as long as we enjoy :). My goal is to create a unified europe, defined as only one independent country on the ledger screen :)

    For taxing, I tax my vassal normally except that I enforce small feudal taxation, it's just too tempting to tax them once you have a very large empire, and they make something around one-third of my total income
     
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  11. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
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    You are forgetting the bonuses from having good traits. I always raise my heir personally. And not only him, but also the 2-3 next in line. That way I can encourage them to get good traits and virtues that usually result in being much more liked.
     
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  12. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    Me too. But that also requires you to raise the duke of iceland heir because it's useless if the bonus is countered by opposing 7 sins. Or at least, let a content person raise his kid. But I think good traits only give opinion boost, not revolt risk reduction?

    Currently to solve this problem, the duke of iceland is also the duke of orkney (the islands above scotland) and I give him the most prosperous county on orkney, so the AI will not move his capital to iceland. The risk is somewhere around 80%+

    And btw, the crown of norway is still on my hand; I have a policy of witnessing a heir from my dynasty from the king-to-be duke before handing over a kingdom to him (and if his wife dies first, then that duke will have an "accident" a few days later)
     
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  13. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
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    Codex 2012
    CK2 is 75% off on Steam just now. Offer expires in little over 20 hours.
     
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  14. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
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  15. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    Andhaira kings is DLC that still requires the base game. If you intend to get it you may as well get the base game cheap now.
     
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  16. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
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    Yes, but I suppose they will make some sort of complete pack later on at an even lower price, comprising that update and the base game.
    Anyway, due to the usual paragon-is-full-of-bugs-until-patches, I think I will wait some
     
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  17. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
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    Pdox is definitely going to make a 2nd expansion for CK2, as it has been selling well, AFAIK. So you're going to have to wait quite a bit for a complete set.
     
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  18. Kayerts Arcane

    Kayerts
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    IX. I AM THE PAGAN LORD

    1. Better to reign in hell . . .

    Show Spoiler

    Soundtrack

    With the defeat of Denmark, the last of the Vikings' ancient enemies have been broken in battle. But in her victory, Maer has driven Valhalla into a collision course with Christendom. The Reich and Rus' are immobilized for now, busied with internicine strife. With these borders, though, war is not a question of if, but when.

    In view of this, there is some question of what to do with our new Danish possessions. The Danegelding War (as it is now known) was glorious, but many of Maer's councillors urge against investing too much in the territorial spoils thereof, since their forward position makes them all but indefensible.

    [​IMG]

    Maer disagrees.

    "Sjaelland belongs to us now, and so, we belong to it. If the Huns come, we will throw them back." She moves her court south to the city she has ordered built up, sitting on the island of Slotsholmen. The natives call it Kobenhavn.

    To be clear here, moving the capital to Sjaelland is strategically a really bad idea. It's at the fringe our kingdom, and vassals' willingness to rebel increases with distance from the capital. Beyond that, it's on the doorstep of the most powerful Catholic state in the world. There is a very minor benefit in that having the capital in a province that your chief diviner is trying to convert means that you're likely to convert some heretic nobles as a side effect, but that's not why we're doing this. Maer is doing it to stick her girl-balls in Christendom's face.


    2. Tears, such as angels weep, burst forth

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    The first thing Maer notices about her new realm is that the Norwegians are still fighting the Danes, even though doing so provides no further benefit to her. Do they not realize that the war ends when she says it does?

    [​IMG]

    Since the Viking army crushed the combined forces of Denmark--twice--and then seized the better half their kingdom, Danish prospects in this war look grim. There is only one gentle soul in all of Europe who can save them:

    Champion of Denmark and Friend of All Peace-Loving Nations, Queen Maer! This reckless aggression against the innocent Danish people will not be tolerated!

    [​IMG]

    Maer organizes a nonviolent protest. Then she remembers that those don't work, so she moves on to a violent protest.

    [​IMG]

    After Maer speaks firm censure against the plague of Norwegian war-mongering, the duke of Trondelag stands abashed. How can he continue to participate in his king's villainy? He cannot; he converts to the cause of peace.

    [​IMG]

    And thus, Norway lies in pieces. King Christian II will have a difficult time keeping his own throne, much less taking Denmark's . . .

    Rationale: Since the Danegelding War, neither of the other Scandinavian kingdoms can threaten us. We'd like to keep it that way. Two weak neighbors are preferable to one strong. Keeping the balance of power results in keeping the blood of Christ's faithful flowing from side to side.

    Chaos shall reign over our enemies, and the Raven Banner shall be its standard. The blood of the bravest knights in the Christian North shall water Eketra's tree of life and death.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    3. Who overcomes by force hath overcome but half her foe.

    Show Spoiler

    Soundtrack

    Now to how we will deal with more formidable foes. Our new position means we've committed ourselves to fighting Rus and the HRE until one of us drops. The only thing we can do is gather allies before the storm hits. Some we will harvest gently, others with scythes.

    We don't know what schedule we're on, but we can be confident that it sucks. For that reason, if we want more men, our best bet is to back claimants to foreign pagan titles. Doing so will gain for us the full levy of any conquered territory, since the pretense of legitimacy means that our puppet claimants will not incur any conqueror's penalties. So this is a good time to finish the Pagan Unification Wars.

    On that note, the one true and steadfast ally of Gungnir and Mjolnir was the tribe of the Zemigalians. Alas, the last scion of their high chief did not inherit the Norse alliance, and without our moral support, he has been driven out of the country by a foul usurper.

    [​IMG]

    In the name of our ancestors' friendship and the honor of House Eketra, we levy righteous war upon the Zemigalians to restore the trueborn chief.

    We also pull a similar trick with the Kola Sami, because fuck the Kola Sami.

    Neither war is very interesting; both tribes have only two counties against our thirty. The Zemigalians manage to put up a surprisingly decent fight, since their provinces are both pagan and well-developed. Some would call that brave; Maer calls it futile.

    [​IMG]

    The Kola Sami fare no better. The Kola Sami, incidentally, are the chuckleheads who thought it'd be funny to stab Warchief Thord in the back during the Swedish invasion, so right now Maer is paying all her ancestors' debts, as well as making good on her own promise of pagan unity.

    While we're waiting for sieges to finish, the Norsemen keep busy.

    [​IMG]

    Dal converts to the worship of Tyr. We set up a warrior cult immediately; let them prove their faith in the God of Battles in the temple of war.

    [​IMG]

    And Kemi converts to the worship of Odin. We raise a second cult; let them offer sacrifices to the Master of the Slain on the slaying fields.

    [​IMG]

    And in Sjaelland, Maer has made an impression during her short stay. The county converts to the worship of Freyja, venerating her and the valkyries above all others. Soon there will be many slain to choose from . . .

    The Valhallans have been fighting for most of Maer's reign. At this point, the Viking lords would follow her into Muspelheim if she wished war against Surtur. Alas, while Maer's speeches might move men, they cannot push coins into empty treasuries.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    We're rich, and we could easily afford to pay the nobles. But why would we give them gold, when we have a queen with a silver tongue?

    Maer also takes some time to redistribute Danish land to our faithful Norse champions. Check out House af Skara's boss flag:

    [​IMG]

    I'm pretty sure this is a consequence of the fucked up flags on this install, but how cool is that? The new lords of Bornholm will march under a reflected rebel flag.

    [​IMG]

    Also on the subject of oddities with redistribution, Maer comes across the delightfully named Bishop Glum of Lund. This doesn't stop her from booting him out of her kingdom and burning down his church and raising a temple to the Old Gods in its place, but she does brofist him on the way out. The girl shows respect.

    Anyway, at long last, the Zemigalians surrender.

    [​IMG]

    Great! Now with the new High Chief Janis as our vassal, we

    [​IMG]
    This screenshot brought to you by the letters W, T, and F

    Wait, what? We should've gained the two counties in Courland. Also, why is it called Courland now? What's going on?

    Maer personally sails across the Baltic to have words with the Zemigalians, standing before the castle at Skaistkalne to demand an answer.

    "What is the meaning of this?" she bellows. "You surrendered. You yielded your title to our faithful subject Janis. You serve him now. Lay down your arms and bow before your new liege."

    A deep voice from the wall contemptuously says, "We will never bow to cooties."

    "Your high chief is a WOMAN!" Maer shouts.

    "And your sexism is hardly relevant to this conversation," the voice replies.

    "If you do not honor the terms of your surrender, we will run spears through every Zemigalian heart," Maer seethes.

    "The cooties have spread to her brain, men!" the voice yells in alarm. "Apothecary, prepare the cootie shots! Men, make ready to repulse this madwoman!"

    Maer would say more, but a messenger from Chancellor Thord comes, bearing news from the north. The High Chief of the Kola Sami has yielded to our superior force, and now our claimant Baeivi has taken control of the tribe.

    [​IMG]

    "Excellent!" says Maer, "At least one of these wars went as planned." Then she frowns as the messenger hands her a sketch of a map Thord drew, showing the extent of their conquest.

    [​IMG]

    Vast whats full of the fuck.

    A heated exchange of letters with Regent Tarja of "Kola" follows:

    *

    *

    *


    As far as I can tell, what happened here is due to some weirdness in the way tribes are implemented in CK2. Tribal leaders are given (a) a primary tribal title, which provides their tribal name (e.g., the Zemigalians) and is landless, and also (b) secondary titles for their actual land. Winning their primary title, like we just did, only gets you lands that do not fall under the jurisdiction of any secondary titles. So winning the war against High Chief Darate of the Zemigalians didn't do anything except change her title to Duchess Darate of Courland. Our claimant gained a high chief's title, but that didn't come with any actual land.

    So, that's why Maer was left shouting outside that castle. "High Chief Darate? Who's that? I'm, uh, 'Duchess' Darate, of the NotZemigalians."

    To make matters even stupider, we can't just counter by declaring war for Courland or Kola, since at the end of the wars for those worthless titles, we signed a peace treaty pledging not to attack the defenders again for another ten years. Awesome.

    (This doesn't generally come up in a normal game, since in normal games the player has the permanent holy war casus belli, and thus has no need (or, usually, ability) to bother with claims against pagan tribes at all.)

    In conclusion, we have witnessed the emergence of the first challenger capable of defeating Maer: pedantry.


    4. Dark with excessive bright

    Show Spoiler

    Maer reflects on how she will respond to this dishonorable conduct on the part of her neighbors. She considers executing every Swede named Johan under her rule, although it's not clear why she feels that would help matters. Eventually, she decides it would be more constructive to direct her attention toward one of her fellow rulers.

    [​IMG]

    The Valkyrie has sworn to bring all northern pagans under one sun, but she said nothing about the tribes of the eastern steppes. Since their arrival during the past century, the brave khans of the Cumans have fought the Russians, the Romans, the Turks, and the Hungarians. Among the pagan world, they alone are worthy of Maer's respect.

    As a Viking queen, Maer would prefer to show her respect to the old Cuman khatun by testing her skill on the field of battle, but this is unfeasible for several reasons. The first is the vast distance; with the Cumans' and Valhallans' military standings relatively close to one another, Maer does not possess the supply chain needed to levy war on the far side of Europe.

    She might have risked it even so, but the volvas have given her a second reason to be wary. An old seeress speaks to Maer of a dream that came upon her:

    :what:

    "Well, that was fucked up," says Maer.

    "Indeed. May I advise against investing heavily in any wars against the eastern tribes?" the volva asks.

    "I can do that," Maer says. "Good talk!"

    Given what's in store, this proves wise. Since war is not an option, Maer instead offers friendship. Her son and spymaster Prince Loki is married to a genius Cuman princess:

    [​IMG]

    Loki himself possesses the Quick trait, and has the blessed blood of Maer burning in his veins, so their children should be retardedly talented. I also have our daughter Brunhilde married to the old khatun's son, thereby securing their military aid.

    Much like our previous alliance with the Eastern Empire, the primary value of an alliance with the Cumans is as a deterrent. They could actually be useful if Rus' invaded, but with the Great Unpatriotic War still going strong, that seems unlikely. Otherwise, while the Tengri-worshipping Cumans are likely to honor a call to arms against Christian infidels, they're probably too far away to do us much good.


    5. Long is the way, and hard, that out of Hel leads up to light.

    Show Spoiler


    All right, back to the North. Maer has devised a way of dealing with the dishonorable chiefs of the NotZemigalians and the Kola NotSami. The terms of our peace treaty say that we can't invade again until 1192, or else we shall be branded as dishonorable before all pagan rulers. Maer is impatient, so she looks into finding an honorable solution.

    [​IMG]

    We honorably annul the treaty with the NotHighChief, as well as her life. Since treaties are regarded as personal agreements between rulers, this allows us to honorably declare honorable war for honor.

    The new ruler sends us an anxious letter expressing his hope for unity between our two peoples.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately for him, Maer has the same hope.

    Some not-terribly-interesting family drama follows:

    Show Spoiler

    First, Skidbladnir's granddaughter Beata warns Maer that Marshal Markus is plotting against her. Maer, not wanting to feel left out, warns Markus that Beata is plotting against him.

    [​IMG]

    She and Markus high five, proud of having outfoxed that scheming hussy, until:

    [​IMG]

    Loki comes to us and tells us that Markus really was plotting to kill our heir Thord. We're considering how to respond to this, when:

    [​IMG]

    Beata, or perhaps Thord, apparently seizes the day and has Markus murdered. Maer reprimands them both; Markus, she lectures, was an absurdly good marshal. He deserved the honor of death in combat.

    [​IMG]

    Later, our son Prince Birger gets sick and dies. You may remember his betrothal to a French princess; unfortunately, the poor girl caught the pox and died before reaching adulthood. With her perished our hopes of a claim on France.

    In happier news, Prince Loki and his Cuman genius wife give Maer a grandson with the improbable name of Basbuga:

    [​IMG]

    You'll notice that despite being a newborn, he has mid-range stats in all categories. That's because he's a genius. This is good news, especially given the sudden rash of deaths in our household; if Thord dies, the boy might serve as a worthy heir.

    Also, Maer and Loki awesome's wife bond:

    [​IMG]

    ...over their mutual hatred of a "pagan's blasphemous words." Indeed, if there's one thing that the Norse Maer and the Tengrist Ipek can agree upon, it's how much pagans fucking suck.


    Anyway, enough family business. After half a century of House Eketra constantly giving moral support to the Zemigalians and getting nothing but military aid in return, we finally win our war:

    [​IMG]

    And secure the moral support of the newly enthroned High Chief Janis. This is also the first time Valhallan expansion has crossed the Baltic. Janis feels this is a momentous occasion. Maer doesn't. She already crossed the Rubicon with regard to the Christian world; crossing the Baltic is a lesser journey.


    6. The excess of glory obscured

    Show Spoiler

    For lack of a more logical target, I send Thord to Trondelag to try to get a claim.

    [​IMG]

    Notice what a clusterfuck Norway is. It's truly a pity that it's come to this, but then, with the poor moral model set by their rulers, I don't know what else you'd expect. Is it any wonder that their kings keep dying young? Their Corpse God himself must be expressing his disfavor with the wicked Norwegians. Let us pray for their souls.

    Maer, being the bold, decisive go-getter that she is, is not content to merely pray.

    The genre of the Detective Saga dies an early death in Valhalla, along with the author of that particular satire. (He was murdered.)


    7. Unrespited, unpitied, unreprieved.

    Show Spoiler

    Now that we've established a beachhead in mainland Europe, the logical thing to do is to extend it. To the east of Courland, Lithuania suffers under the yoke of a Catholic ruler, but the change was recent enough that there still pagan claimants.

    So that's our next move. Lithuania's another two-province state, so the war is not remotely interesting. I'm including this shot solely because of the hilarity in the right side of the screen:

    [​IMG]

    Rus has inexplicably fallen to squabbling again. Maer sighs. It must be sad for them, to be such an ill-mannered, fractious people. Shameful.

    [​IMG]

    Lithuania belongs the the Allfather now.

    [​IMG]

    The NotHighChief of Kola NotSami is notAssassinated.

    [​IMG]

    And we make sure to notRuin his county's shit.

    Incidentally, backing someone's claim for a title provides one of the greatest relations boosts in the game. If your vassals like you enough (which happens at around +40 relations), you can order them to convert to your religion. So all these Romuvans and Suomenuskos we've been backing have since shed their false gods and been lifted as spears in Odin's hands.

    But the Corpse God is given a sword of his own, granted by the False Emperor:

    [​IMG]

    "The infidels come in many flavors. :smug:"

    You know what, Canned Response Dude? Fuck off. I've been clawing my way toward glory for almost 130 years, and at the end of dozens of brutal wars, careful assassinations, bloody backstabs, and cunning plans--after I've gone from a minor chief to ruling the better part of four kingdoms--any no-name Catholic chucklefuck in the world can STILL kick my ass if he says enough Hail Maries. Fuck you.

    * * *

    I played this next section between 3 and 4 am, and it shows. I'd like to justify what I did strategically, but there is no way to make this not look retarded, so: under the assumption that Rus' was too busy fighting its 10-way civil war to really give a shit, I declared war on them. That part actually worked out. The stupid part is that I did it to claim Livonia, which Rus only owns one county of.

    [​IMG]

    So we're fighting the loyalists of the Russian empire over Latgale, which isn't even that good of a county.

    Anyway, our much feared, much anticipated war against Rus' is essentially bloodless. With no armies opposing us in the field, we siege ten provinces simultaneously; the Russian king, completely indifferent to our efforts, taps out at war score 20%.

    [​IMG]

    The most anticlimactic war in history is won.

    On the subject of stupid wars, the Lithuanian high chief whose claim we'd backed has died, and his daughter is (somehow) an Occitan Catholic. She seems unlikely to serve us well if we should need her, so we see to it that she doesn't serve us at all:

    [​IMG]

    Which works. Except then I forgot about her, so a little later:

    [​IMG]

    FOUL TRAITOR, YOU HAVE NO HONOR.

    On a related note, the Orthodox duchess of Lithuania was demoted to the status of minor countess when we took over. Maer decides to demote her further to the status of footrest:

    [​IMG]

    She takes this poorly:

    [​IMG]

    And then dies of old age, in protest of Maer's tyrannical policies.

    In CK2, wars of rebellion end when the rebel leader dies, provided that the rebels' casus belli is that they think the queen is a poopyhead or cootie-infested womangirl or whatever. However, if the war is motivated by an act of tyranny, such as a refused revocation of a noble's title, then the war will be inherited by the rebel leader's successor.

    [​IMG]

    In this case, Countess Boleslava's successor is an Arpad of the blood royal. He calls Queen Maren of Denmark into the war! That's an interesting complication!

    [​IMG]

    Then he calls King Dmitry of Rus into the war! Shit!

    [​IMG]

    Fortunately, we take his last holding before either of the two kingdoms can do anything to us, allowing us to force a peace. Since he has claims on three Russian duchies, I was planning to give the count his title back and then fight wars on his behalf, but he died before I could get around to it.

    And with that, Maer rules all Baltic and Finnish pagans.


    8. Awake, arise, or be forever fallen!

    Show Spoiler


    Soundtrack, sort of

    Thirty years ago, Maer told the pagans they would stand beneath one sun.

    Her day is come, and the sun is bright.

    [​IMG]
    LOOK AT THAT FUCKING FONT, MOTHERFUCKERS.

    Dawn has come to Europe. Christendom will burn, and Christian thrones will be as tinder.

    (In Hebrew, incidentally, "Maer" means "the one who illuminates." One imagines that could be translated as "light-bearer.")

    With the undivided pagan North blazing behind her, Maer chooses Norway as the first Christian nation to be enlightened.

    (Thord has forged claims on wealthy Trondelag and one other county in the duchy. Since forged claims aren't inheritable, and since Maer is getting old, it seems best to press them now.)

    [​IMG]

    All right. Norway, while for once unified, and certainly stronger than many of our recent foes, is no match for the wrath of Valhalla. This should be a short, easy war.

    Two days later, a flotilla of seven ships sail into Kobenhavn harbor. Six bear flags of truce, and the lead ship, a double-headed eagle.

     
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  19. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

    Self-Ejected
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2010
    Messages:
    20,233
    Location:
    DiNMRK
    Awesome!

    Viking BROFIST!

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    15,456
    Location:
    Insert clever insult here
    [​IMG]
    Time to rock:
     
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  21. CappenVarra phase-based phantasmist Patron

    CappenVarra
    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2,663
    Location:
    Ardamai
    :lol:
     
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  22. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    919
    :greatjob:

    Reminds me of my own treaty in my current game:

    The Treaty of Byzantion Istanbul:
    To the most despicable Caliph Henrike II:

    Damn you and Paradox! How come conquering 3 of my counties immediately bring your warscore to 100%? I'll never forgive you for taking three-quarter of my REALM :rage:!!!

    For those of you curious enough, the war was known as "Jihad for Byzantium" :troll:
     
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  23. Kayerts Arcane

    Kayerts
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    880
    War score calculations are indeed pretty weird, especially with any war in which the spoils seem to be greater than the actual "target" of the war. (Mongol invasions and 1.05 crusades.)

    Also, no one liked the Great Valhallan Murder Mystery, eh?
     
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  24. Vernydar Learned

    Vernydar
    Joined:
    May 6, 2012
    Messages:
    579
    Location:
    Italy
    They are weird, period. Once you get past a certain size, you can assemble a doomstack and end a war in about 1-2 months, no matter who you're fighting against. Which is why I don't particularly like crusades, or invasions. They make the game quite... pathetically easy
     
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  25. GarfunkeL Racism Expert

    GarfunkeL
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    15,456
    Location:
    Insert clever insult here
    Great Valhallan Murder Mystery was quite funny, have no fear.
     
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