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One-shot LP: Castle Wolfenstein!

Peter

Arcane
Joined
Jun 11, 2009
Messages
1,570
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu2NqfISm9k

Having played through the atrocious Oblivion Thieves Guild questline, I wanted to play a good stealth game today. So I thought I might try out the grand daddy of all stealth games, 1981's Castle Wolfenstein, bringing you a teeny tiny LP in the process.

Unsurprisingly, this is a better stealth game than Oblivion. :M

cw_001.png


With a title screen like that, you just know this is gonna be great. Look at the smug fucking face on the soldier. Bro is totally pumping his fist. He's like 'FUCK YEAH BRO LETS KILL SOME NAZI CUNTS'. :bro: :salute:

cw_003.png


:bounce:

cw_004.png


I'm the little bald dude in the middle. The guys with the huge swastikas on their chests are, you guessed it, Nazis.

cw_005.png


I like to think of the swastikas as bullseyes. :smug:

cw_006.png
cw_007.png


We search the body and find some keys which will come in handy when trying to get through doors later on, and we unlock the chest. Luckily, this one takes only a couple of seconds to unlock, but you'll soon see that unlocking most chests takes absurdly long.

cw_008.png
cw_009.png


BROS IM NOT GONA LIE IM A LITTLE DRUONK

With nothing useful left to do here, we head to the next level of the Nazi base.

cw_010.png
cw_011.png
cw_012.png


See what I told you about the long time it takes to unlock chests? The fact of the matter is that 123 seconds is pretty quick. Most chests will take about 200 seconds to open.

However, I'm not complaining too much because we got a motherfucking uniform! This will allow us to sneak past most guards unnoticed :bounce:

cw_013.png


:yeah:

Also, I noticed something. Bald dude dressing up as the enemy? Lithuanian Hitman is a total fucking rip-off of this!

cw_015.png
cw_016.png
cw_017.png


Grenades are awesome, but impractical, since they attract a lot of attention and can be quite dangerous. However, they're still nice to have.

cw_018.png
cw_019.png
cw_020.png


:x What a waste of time! I'd rather have some keys or ammo or something.

cw_021.png
cw_022.png


:x

Gotta go scavenging for keys now.

cw_023.png


Cannonballs, huh? I'll be damned if I know how I could use them, but damn it, I do want them.

cw_024.png
cw_025.png


:(

cw_026.png
cw_027.png


At least we've gotten what we came looking for!

cw_028.png
cw_029.png


The Allies will most certainly appreciate this.

cw_030.png
cw_031.png
cw_032.png


We decide to not return to where we got stuck immediately, instead exploring some other rooms. we're quickly met by another locked door, though. I could just shoot it open, but that would be messy and a waste of ammo.

cw_033.png
cw_034.png

cw_035.png
cw_036.png


So, we return to our previously visited locked door and continue through the castle. We find some more keys and return to the other locked door.

cw_039.png
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And how wise of us to do so. There are the stairs to the next level.

cw_045.png
cw_047.png
cw_048.png


The Nazi nearest to us is, unfortunately, blocking our path, so I have no choice but to dispose of him. The problem about that, however, is that because all the environmental interactions (searching, opening stuff etc) is all controlled by one button, and the game prioritizes searching bodies to anything else, we basically can't use our keys and have to shoot the door open. :(

cw_049.png


Gunther luckily doesn't mind too much and we just head south right past him.

cw_050.png
cw_051.png


We then head east and check a chest. Not only do we find that the chest is empty, but I don't like the way Bernhard keeps touching me while I try to get it open. :(

I proceed to explore this level of the castle.

cw_052.png


Notice how there are more and more guards around.

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cw_055.png
cw_056.png

cw_057.png
cw_058.png
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Seeing that I don't know if a bulletproof vest ruins my disguise, i don't dare take it. Hopefully, I won't need it. I do find some much needed ammo though, having wasted some before.

I proceed through the castle.

cw_060.png
cw_061.png


:(

cw_062.png
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bratwurst-2.jpg
:thumbsup:

cw_072.png
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We spend some time wandering around, looking for an exit, with nothing particularly interesting happening.

cw_078.png
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sauerkraut.jpg
:thumbsup:

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Stairs! :yeah:

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I start running so fast that I become distorted, it seems.

cw_086.png
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cw_096.png
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After some more uneventful running around, I find the stairs to the next floor. I'm lucky I haven't had to dealt with the SS, who can uncover me even if I'm in uniform.

cw_098.png
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cw_100.png


Sadly, I am again blocked, so I must kill these two fine Arian patriots. :( :salute:

cw_101.png


Brimming with Nazis here. i must be close.

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After some more wandering around, I come to, frankly, an impassable room. It' impossible to get past Diederich at the top left corner there. I have to take him out and see what happens. If I die, I restart at the beginning of the castle with none of my equipment, but the Nazis don't respawn as well.

cw_108.png


... Which is exactly what happens. :(

I'm lucky enough to find a new uniform quickly when I restart, so getting back to where I was is easy enough.

cw_109.png
cw_110.png

cw_111.png
cw_112.png


:yeah: Look at what a badass I am.

And that, my friends, is that. I do hope you enjoyed this mini-LP. :salute:
 

Fowyr

Arcane
Vatnik
Joined
Mar 29, 2009
Messages
7,609
:thumbsup: Never thought what it's so short game.
 

Ed123

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Apr 24, 2010
Messages
15,170
Location
banal
Serpent in the Staglands Wasteland 2
Someone should add the guards to the avatar list.
 

Peter

Arcane
Joined
Jun 11, 2009
Messages
1,570
Fowyr said:
:thumbsup: Never thought what it's so short game.

Keep in mind that it is an early 80s action-adventure game. Plus, the castle is randomly generated each time you play and as you complete castles, you advance in rank. As you advance in rank, the game becomes harder. So it has quite a bit of replayability.
 

Cenobyte

Prophet
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,117
Location
Japan
Hehe, great lp. Funny graphics, no plot, teutonic foodstuff :lol:

:yeah:
 

Crooked Bee

(no longer) a wide-wandering bee
Patron
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
15,048
Location
In quarantine
Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 BattleTech Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
This has been a cool little LP. :salute:
 

Metro

Arcane
Beg Auditor
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
27,792
The sad thing is the guy who developed this died of some awful disease/degenerative condition and borderline penniless.
 

Luzur

Good Sir
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
39,265
Location
Swedish Empire
Look at the smug fucking face on the soldier. Bro is totally pumping his fist. He's like 'FUCK YEAH BRO LETS KILL SOME NAZI CUNTS'

uh...thats a german soldier ya know.
 

asper

Arcane
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
2,186
Project: Eternity
Peter said:
Fowyr said:
:thumbsup: Never thought what it's so short game.

Keep in mind that it is an early 80s action-adventure game. Plus, the castle is randomly generated each time you play and as you complete castles, you advance in rank. As you advance in rank, the game becomes harder. So it has quite a bit of replayability.

Those are pretty awesome features for a game from 1984
 

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