Yeah, that's fair. I'd mostly agree. I think a lot of it is just powercreep, rather than a defined game philosophy, and indeed they have shown the opposite in terms of adding Ruthless and SSF as their personal instincts.
It's tricky because the "solutions" devs come up with traditionally are worse than the symptom imo. Like... the talk of wells refilling flasks in PoE 2 sounds awful if it indicates what it seems to indicate. Yeah, I don't like piano flasks either, but the not-shitty solution seems to me to be stuff like the enchants that make using flasks automatic, or more items like mageblood that are not as expensive/rare that turn flasks into another interesting gearing choice rather than giving you arthritis. On the other hand, using a Diablo 3 launch style limited uses model just sounds boring and lame, and that's what wells make me think of.
For what it's worth, they have tried to do what you said. They just seem to always miss a mark by quite a bit. For example, Sanctum, setting aside the roguelike inspiration, was supposed to make dodging the most important thing (theoretically, if I assume the devs didn't quite grasp what they were actually incentivizing). Instead, since defenses basically don't matter, it led to billion DPS builds being the only effective way to clear it, since you simply take too much resolve damage if you try to engage with the mechanics for more than a split second.
There is some of that in the atlas passives too--you can choose to take more or less damage, or you can spec Ultimatum to be all about surviving with zero need for DPS, etc. It just comes down to the fact that at the end of the day doing infinite damage and speed is always more efficient. That might be the crux of the problem; people's obsession with efficiency and looking at everything they do in terms of divine/chaos per hr.