https://www.pcgamer.com/best-sierra-adventure-games/
Before you dig into this, here's
the author so you know what you're getting into:
There's quite a bit to unpack, plus for some reason there are no games that had FMV (Phantasmagoria 1+2, Gabriel Knight 2, Shivers 1+2) but fan the AGDI remakes of KQ 1, 2, and 3 are included.
Lists and rankings are generally stupid, especially when done by a single person, but this one is worth sharing.
63. Police Quest 4: Open Season
(1993)
What better way to begin than with a game Sierra should never have made—Police Quest 4, designed by someone who should never have been allowed to make it. Daryl F. Gates was presented as the author of the game, but most of it was actually designed and written by Sierra staffer Tammy Dargan; it was Dargan who was responsible for a lot of the racial caricatures in the game. But the spotlight was on Gates, the disgraced ex-LAPD chief who was responsible for the 1992 LA riots and the police attack on Rodney King.
With PQ4, Jim Walls' wholesome "cops are your friends" brand of copaganda goes totally out the window (not that it was great to begin with) and is replaced with a vastly more insidious beast that villainizes Black Americans to the point of parody. And to an extent, Gates' videogame legacy still lives on today, as
Ken Williams defended his decision to hire Gates in his recent memoir. There's a lot to say about this game, most of which has already been said
in this piece by Duncan Fyfe. At best, and I'm being generous, it was a boneheaded attempt to romanticize and rehabilitate the LAPD's brutal image. And it is downright painful to play. From the cop camaraderie and constant in-game promotion of Gates' own initiatives (Gates created SWAT and the DARE programs) to the misogynistic, transphobic ending, this is a game that should not exist, yet remains a weird touchpoint for specific Sierra die-hards and police zealots who venerate its place in history.
PQ4 is a bad game but that butthurt certainly sets the tone for the rest of this list.
59. Police Quest 3: The Kindred
(1991)
Point-and-click makes all the tedious procedural bits only slightly easier, but it also wades into deep copaganda-filled waters, even more so than its predecessors. The intro features designer Jim Walls—an ex-highway patrol officer—sternly espousing the virtues of police work like a warped after-school special. Now a sergeant, you have to deal with subordinates, and one of your cops (a lady cop, oh my) is receiving complaints about misconduct on the job. Real good stuff. Then you have to go out to a lake and whip out your baton on a mentally unstable naked man on drugs. Also, why would you want to bring back the tedious procedures that the previous game so wisely eliminated?
COPAGANDA!!
57. Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel
(EGA, 1987)
I hated, and still hate this game. Cops, please don't try and make your job cute. It's not.
56. Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel
(VGA, 1992)
The VGA release is marginally better than the original version because of the improved graphics and sound. There's still that cringeworthy spiel in the beginning about how the town of Lytton's "high moral values" and thinly veiled race-baiting about how culture and "progress" haven't spoiled its people. There's a brief text screwup at Carol's diner where Sonny refers to his pal Steve as Keith, who only becomes his partner in the sequel. And the penalties for not performing cop procedure minutiae were withering. Forgetting to walk around your patrol car to inspect it before driving off? Give me a break.
Stupid white people and their moral values.
54. Leisure Suit Larry 3: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals
(1989)
The LSL series doesn't pretend to be anything but tacky, offensive fun, which is probably one of the few things it has going for it—what you see is generally what you get. But LSL3 also comes with an in-your-face "prepare to be offended, snowflake" disclaimer, which makes it painfully, exhaustingly self-aware of its own tastelessness.
LSL 3 is the 2nd best game, maybe the best, in the series and certainly in the top half of Sierra's adventure titles, not the bottom.
53. Police Quest 2: The Vengeance
(1988)
Corny Miami Vice-style aesthetics and pixelated mullets are the only balm to having to play as a gung-ho cop. Oh, and the streamlined driving mechanics, less reliance on "by the book" procedure, and marginally better writing. At the end of the day, PQ still boils down to cop cosplay trying its best to exude an earnest Yogi Bear "public service" vibe.
I guess "cop cosplay" is less problematic than "copaganda."
50. Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail!
(1996)
Another journey into straight-up sleaze with a modicum (sorry) of "story," as Larry is, once again, back on a very horny cruise. It's the same LSL formula, reheated with a new crew of Jessica Rabbit-esque women in the mid-90s hand-drawn Sierra style and a running find-the-dildo mini-game (they look like little phallic Where's Waldos). You can finally see loads of tiddies, which really took a while considering that this entire franchise was made for weird middle-aged men.
There's a lot more overt sex. You can shit and fart with abandon, thanks to the chaotic hybrid point-and-click system that also features a text parser. And yes, it's all still pretty sad. On the upside, there's some cool art—the statue of Venus' toes made of dice, and the mermaid ice sculpture in the giant mouth-themed dining room are kitschy treasures.
LSL7 is the best or 2nd best LSL game and one of the better titles from 90s Sierra. It has a great open, somewhat nonlinear structure that balances puzzles, exploration, humor, and everything between. It's a very enjoyable and playable game for non-Puritans.
39. Leisure Suit Larry: Land of the Lounge Lizards
(1987, 1991)
Before the 40-Year-Old Virgin, there was Leisure Suit Larry (and before Larry, there was Softporn Adventure, but I digress). While it was undoubtedly a big hit among men, growing up and watching a middle-aged man play it, then playing it myself was mostly just kind of sad. Even with all the jokes at Larry's expense, the game (and the entire franchise) leans way too hard on offensive humor for the sake of crudeness and no real finesse. Sure, risqué humor is fun, but when you plant that particular seed and it grows into a never-ending parade of thinly veiled racist stereotypes and tedious airhead jokes, things get old real fast. Especially when you consider there wasn't a lot else going on in 1987—it's hard to imagine a whole lot of places would be throwing awards at LSL today just for "showing some skin." I guess it's nice to remember that it meant a lot to its demographic back then? (This entry also includes the 1991 VGA version.)
The game with crude, tasteless humor shouldn't be so crude and tasteless!
35. Leisure Suit Larry 2: Looking for Love (In Several Wrong Places)
(1988)
Larry is marginally less of a lech in LSL's sophomore effort, and instead follows a more hapless "wrong man" story trope as he accidentally gets sucked into a KGB plot. Like its predecessor, the game revels in hacky racial stereotypes, awkward chauvinism, and pretty standard Larry fare. Besides all of that, it's… fine? Some of the LA scenes are pleasantly nostalgic and the KROD gameshow sequences are appropriately painful to watch. I still don't care for the jungle sequence though. That can stay in 1988.
The worst LSL game, rife with dead ends and other shortcomings of early Sierra titles, is the 2nd highest LSL game in this list. Really, did she ever play most of these games?
The top 25 is dominated by KQ and SQ games since they are the least problematic.
7. King's Quest 7: The Princeless Bride
(1994)
Perhaps the most "controversial" King's Quest game (in some ways, more so than KQ8) because of its radically different art style. But King's Quest has never denied its cartoony inspirations and children's fairytale references, from the gingerbread house in KQ1, to Rosella cleaning up after the seven dwarves in KQ4. The Princeless Bride's hand-drawn backgrounds and sprites dramatically enhanced the fairytale flavor of the narrative, with some neat little 3D touches (the crystal dragon is particularly lovely). It also features a great mother-daughter power pairing, and remains the only KQ game that features multiple playable characters. Combined with the excellent voice acting, pithy dialogue, and serious themes, The Princeless Bride is one of the finest entries in the series.
KQ7 is a decent game, but #7 among the (non-FMV) Sierra catalog?
5. Laura Bow and the Dagger of Amon Ra
(1992)
It has its dated moments (no, not just the part about it being in 1926—the racial stereotyping choices were clearly made in the '90s)
Whew, hadn't seen a complaint about racism in awhile.
1. Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers
(1993)
That's a good pick but how did the author overlook how racist this game is for having the villains be a voodoo cult?
These rankings were so bad I'd rather have a list done by John Walker or Richard Cobbett.
