NJClaw
OoOoOoOoOoh
Last night I had a dream. A dream about chivalry and might. A dream about greatness.
I no longer was a dirty stable boy, serving villainous lords and knights unworthy of their titles.
I was powerful. I fought for the oppressed, destroyed their shackles, and undid the wrongs they had to endure. I was a warrior. I was a hero.
I was a paladin.
...
And now I have decided. I will not wake up. I will be powerful. I will fight for the oppressed. I will be a warrior. I will be a hero. I will be a paladin.
I will crush my foes, every last one of them. I will achieve true greatness, mastering every weapon and technique. And I will do so relying only on my own strengths. No shortcuts, no vile tricks, only skill and perseverance. I will rid these lands of the scum that inhabits them, so that the world may usher in a new age. An age free of cheaters and lesser men. An age of greatness and glory. The Age of the Porkster.
Limgrave & Weeping Peninsula
01 - Character creation and first steps
02 - Our first enemy (Tree Sentinel - Club)
03 - A jagged alliance
04 - Of monsters and men (Ancient Hero of Zamor - Iron Cleaver)
05 - A sword to fell a beast (Leonine Misbegotten - Claymore)
06 - The flying menace of Banville (Flying Dragon Agheel - Banished Knight's Halberd)
07 - It's complicated (Crucible Knight - Dagger)
08 - Of lordship and swords (Margit, the Fell Omen - Longsword)
09 - A party to die for (Bell Bearing Hunter - Rapier)
10 - The Manyforms' last form (Godrick the Grafted - Shamshir and Scimitar)
11 - Filler episode I (Stonedigger Troll - Warpick, Guardian Golem - Mace, Black Knife Assassin - Shortbow, Bloodhound Knight Darriwil - Battle Axe)
Liurnia of the Lakes & Caelid
12 - Pet therapy (Red Wolf of Radagon - Bloodhound's Fang)
13 - Pick your poison (Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon - Pickaxe)
14 - Eggs (Royal Knight Loretta - Lordsworn's Straight Sword)
15 - The Lands of the Shouting Receptacle
16 - The Eastern Kings and the needle (Commander O'Neil - Partizan)
17 - Of femininity and strength (Starscourge Radahn - Uchigatana)
18 - The Duke strikes once more (Misbegotten Warrior & Crucible Knight - Lordsworn's Greatsword)
19 - Filler episode II (Putrid Avatar - Golden Halberd, Magma Wyrm - Highland Axe, Crystalian - Beast Crest Heater Shield, Onyx Lord - Short Spear, Adan Thief of Fire - Bastard Sword)
Altus Plateau & Mt. Gelmir
20 - Innocent Hunting: the Master of Elegant Hats (Elemer of the Briar - Great Epee)
21 - Innocent Hunting: the Manynamed (Godskin Apostle - Nagakiba)
22 - An even jaggeder alliance (Draconic Tree Sentinel - Large Club)
23 - Innocent Hunting: assgate (Godskin Noble - Reduvia)
24 - Innocent Hunting: the Dick-Helicopterer (Crucible Knight Ordovis & Crucible Knight - Broadsword)
25 - Innocent Hunting: the Feet Collector (Godfrey, First Elden Lord - Ornamental Straight Sword)
26 - The demise of the reviled Zed Doink (Morgott, the Omen King - Stormhawk Axe)
27 - The fair maiden and the godslayer (Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy - Serpent-Hunter)
28 - Filler episode III (Dragonkin Soldier - Scythe, Onyx Lord - Golem Greatbow, Demi-Human Queen Gilika - Dismounter, Black Knife Assassin - Zweihander)
29 - Filler episode IV (Grafted Scion - Shotel, Edgar Priest of Blood - Nox Flowing Hammer, Sanguine Noble - Greatsword, Mimic Tear - Caestus)
Mountaintops of the Giants, Crumbling Farum Azula & Ashen Capital
30 - Damsel in distress (Commander Niall - Commander's Standard)
31 - The orange alien one-eyed god (Fire Giant - Moonveil and Meteoric Ore Blade)
32 - Princess bitch (Godskin Duo - Godskin Peeler)
33 - Redding is teh hard (Maliketh, the Black Blade - Rivers of Blood)
34 - The poet's mediocre prophecy (Mohg, the Omen - Arbalest)
35 - Turns out power attacks DO exist (Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing - Fingerprint Stone Shield)
36 - The Feet-Collector gets vaxxed (Hoarah Loux, Warrior - Antspur Rapier and Rogier's Rapier)
37 - Penetrating the impenetrable (Radagon of the Golden Order & Elden Beast - Monk's Flamemace)
38 - Filler episode V (Magma Wyrm Makar - Hand Ballista, Crucible Knight Siluria - Godskin Stitcher, Valiant Gargoyle duo - Scepter of the All-Knowing)
Haligtree & underworld
39 - The shameless coterie (Fia's champions - Spiked Palisade Shield)
40 - The Whitest Knight (Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree - Guardian's Swordspear)
41 - Of hands, empires, and love (Lichdragon Fortissax - Cleanrot Knight's Sword and Frozen Needle)
42 - The evil wizard's final act (Mohg, Lord of Blood - Twinned Knight Swords and Gargoyle's Twinblade)
43 - The warmth of a woman (Dragonkin Soldier - Longbow)
44 - The wrong chromosome (Astel, Naturalborn of the Void - Gargoyle's Greatsword)
45 - My one true goddess (Malenia, Blade of Miquella - Miséricorde)
I no longer was a dirty stable boy, serving villainous lords and knights unworthy of their titles.
I was powerful. I fought for the oppressed, destroyed their shackles, and undid the wrongs they had to endure. I was a warrior. I was a hero.
I was a paladin.
...
And now I have decided. I will not wake up. I will be powerful. I will fight for the oppressed. I will be a warrior. I will be a hero. I will be a paladin.
I will crush my foes, every last one of them. I will achieve true greatness, mastering every weapon and technique. And I will do so relying only on my own strengths. No shortcuts, no vile tricks, only skill and perseverance. I will rid these lands of the scum that inhabits them, so that the world may usher in a new age. An age free of cheaters and lesser men. An age of greatness and glory. The Age of the Porkster.
Contents
Limgrave & Weeping Peninsula
01 - Character creation and first steps
02 - Our first enemy (Tree Sentinel - Club)
03 - A jagged alliance
04 - Of monsters and men (Ancient Hero of Zamor - Iron Cleaver)
05 - A sword to fell a beast (Leonine Misbegotten - Claymore)
06 - The flying menace of Banville (Flying Dragon Agheel - Banished Knight's Halberd)
07 - It's complicated (Crucible Knight - Dagger)
08 - Of lordship and swords (Margit, the Fell Omen - Longsword)
09 - A party to die for (Bell Bearing Hunter - Rapier)
10 - The Manyforms' last form (Godrick the Grafted - Shamshir and Scimitar)
11 - Filler episode I (Stonedigger Troll - Warpick, Guardian Golem - Mace, Black Knife Assassin - Shortbow, Bloodhound Knight Darriwil - Battle Axe)
Liurnia of the Lakes & Caelid
12 - Pet therapy (Red Wolf of Radagon - Bloodhound's Fang)
13 - Pick your poison (Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon - Pickaxe)
14 - Eggs (Royal Knight Loretta - Lordsworn's Straight Sword)
15 - The Lands of the Shouting Receptacle
16 - The Eastern Kings and the needle (Commander O'Neil - Partizan)
17 - Of femininity and strength (Starscourge Radahn - Uchigatana)
18 - The Duke strikes once more (Misbegotten Warrior & Crucible Knight - Lordsworn's Greatsword)
19 - Filler episode II (Putrid Avatar - Golden Halberd, Magma Wyrm - Highland Axe, Crystalian - Beast Crest Heater Shield, Onyx Lord - Short Spear, Adan Thief of Fire - Bastard Sword)
Altus Plateau & Mt. Gelmir
20 - Innocent Hunting: the Master of Elegant Hats (Elemer of the Briar - Great Epee)
21 - Innocent Hunting: the Manynamed (Godskin Apostle - Nagakiba)
22 - An even jaggeder alliance (Draconic Tree Sentinel - Large Club)
23 - Innocent Hunting: assgate (Godskin Noble - Reduvia)
24 - Innocent Hunting: the Dick-Helicopterer (Crucible Knight Ordovis & Crucible Knight - Broadsword)
25 - Innocent Hunting: the Feet Collector (Godfrey, First Elden Lord - Ornamental Straight Sword)
26 - The demise of the reviled Zed Doink (Morgott, the Omen King - Stormhawk Axe)
27 - The fair maiden and the godslayer (Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy - Serpent-Hunter)
28 - Filler episode III (Dragonkin Soldier - Scythe, Onyx Lord - Golem Greatbow, Demi-Human Queen Gilika - Dismounter, Black Knife Assassin - Zweihander)
29 - Filler episode IV (Grafted Scion - Shotel, Edgar Priest of Blood - Nox Flowing Hammer, Sanguine Noble - Greatsword, Mimic Tear - Caestus)
Mountaintops of the Giants, Crumbling Farum Azula & Ashen Capital
30 - Damsel in distress (Commander Niall - Commander's Standard)
31 - The orange alien one-eyed god (Fire Giant - Moonveil and Meteoric Ore Blade)
32 - Princess bitch (Godskin Duo - Godskin Peeler)
33 - Redding is teh hard (Maliketh, the Black Blade - Rivers of Blood)
34 - The poet's mediocre prophecy (Mohg, the Omen - Arbalest)
35 - Turns out power attacks DO exist (Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing - Fingerprint Stone Shield)
36 - The Feet-Collector gets vaxxed (Hoarah Loux, Warrior - Antspur Rapier and Rogier's Rapier)
37 - Penetrating the impenetrable (Radagon of the Golden Order & Elden Beast - Monk's Flamemace)
38 - Filler episode V (Magma Wyrm Makar - Hand Ballista, Crucible Knight Siluria - Godskin Stitcher, Valiant Gargoyle duo - Scepter of the All-Knowing)
Haligtree & underworld
39 - The shameless coterie (Fia's champions - Spiked Palisade Shield)
40 - The Whitest Knight (Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree - Guardian's Swordspear)
41 - Of hands, empires, and love (Lichdragon Fortissax - Cleanrot Knight's Sword and Frozen Needle)
42 - The evil wizard's final act (Mohg, Lord of Blood - Twinned Knight Swords and Gargoyle's Twinblade)
43 - The warmth of a woman (Dragonkin Soldier - Longbow)
44 - The wrong chromosome (Astel, Naturalborn of the Void - Gargoyle's Greatsword)
45 - My one true goddess (Malenia, Blade of Miquella - Miséricorde)
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