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Incline Revisiting Old Games (Again)

Discussion in 'General Gaming' started by Falksi, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. Licorice Arcane Wumao

    Licorice
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    Alien Soldier is awesome. It's an assault course racing game though so the fun once you got the basics down is how efficiently / stylishly you can race through the levels. It's fun cause your dude controls more like a mech or vehicle due to all the modality.

    Now, the fact that your sprite is so big does mean they built the bosses around clever use of dash, so micro positioning is less important than setting up an initial positional advantage, but idk I still like it.

    Here's a cool run of it:



    Very much a game people either love or hate though.
     
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  2. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
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    I have been playing the Arcade version the past few months, and it's definitely significantly better than the SNES one. The SNES version loses a LOT in the translation to console.

    Speed is the thing which is biggest hit. The SNES version feels slow & sluggish compared to the arcade. And they also miss out the controllable vehicles and firearms too, which again is a big miss. The SNES version is probably still a bit better than I originally gave it credit for, but the Arcade is actually good fun, whereas the SNES version just mediocre.
     
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  3. BLOBERT Prestigious Gentleman Arcane Patron

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    BRO GOOD WE ALL LEARN FRIM EACH ITHER

    IM OFF FOR CAMPING MIGHT DO A REVIEW CAUSE ILL PLAY TONS OF SHIT OF MY PSP
     
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  4. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
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    Dude, just watch that vid. All most fights are, certainly for the first half of the game, is dashing from left to right. It's absolutely dull as hell.

    I get it looks flashy, but to me it's like having a beautiful woman let you shag her missionary......and that's it. Maybe after half hour pumping away she adds some "variety" by riding you. Fuck that, I want that bitch doggy, face slapped, arse raped, piss drowned and fisting herself whilst I bum her sister.

    Sorry, got carried away there.

    Playing AS felt like eating Cornflakes for a starter, a bigger bowl of Cornflakes for the main course, and Rice Crispies with a biscuit for desert. The same banal shit over & over which I walked away from thanking God I'd never have to touch again.

    But that's just my opinion. If repetition doesn't bother you I can see why folk will like the arcadeyness of it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2021
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  5. Unreal Liturgist

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    so what you're saying is you're retarded
     
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  6. Machocruz Arcane

    Machocruz
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    What's up with this thread? I need my nostalgia hit, ya coont
     
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  7. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
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    I've decided to knock a website up for the laugh so I can present this stuff with a bit more flair, include some porn, tunes and shit, and generally fuck about learning how to make a website (only ever done one before years ago, so need a refresh). The missus is planning on going into business for herself in a few years, so I'm essentially re-learning the ropes so I can knock one up for her when she's ready.

    But you're right, let's drop some more in there. And boy do we have a game today......


    Atomic Runner/Chelnov - Megadrive

    [​IMG]

    Deathtarians. They'll have you. If ever you're gonna name a race of alien beings anything, "Deatharians" is the way to go. There' s no fucking about with that name, you know they're not here to make peace and sip Pims by the beach. They're here to wipe out your planet and piss all over your corpse. A huge 16-bit gaming fan I knew called Robs was big into this game, and used to spunk loads over it. I liked it, I owned it, but my memory of the game is fairly sparse, so it can't have been that could......could it?

    Yes, yes it could. This is without doubt a prime example of a game which I've thoroughly enjoyed returning to, and appreciate more as an adult than as a kid. It's just a fantastically formulated game which oozes brilliance from start to finish. It's not without it's flaws, but out of all the games so far this has to be one of the most more-ish which I've played, and I can't get enough of it.

    [​IMG]

    Gameplay-wise the screen constantly scrolls like it would in a standard side-scrolling SHMUP, but instead of being able to direct yourself in an 8-way free-form fashion like you can the spaceships found in the likes of R-Type, Gradius and Thunderforce, you are instead bound to an action-platformer set of moves not too dissimilar to what you would find in games such as Shinobi and Ghouls N Ghosts. It may sound like a step backwards, but it's really not as it allows for some superbly rhythmic gameplay. This unique style really makes it stand out against a lot of other SMHUPS, and when you get into a full free flowing rhythm with it then it becomes an absolute joy to play. Slinging boomerangs around in various directions whilst somersaulting over enemies and bouncing on the heads of a few along the way, all whilst in constant motion, is something which never gets old.

    Now the control scheme is a slightly double edged sword, with far more good than bad definitely, but it's not all a bed of vaginas. The inability to control your jump height more accurately can grate, and initially I also missed the ability to shoot vertically and to the lower diagonal areas too. You get used to both, but years of playing games like Contra had it feeling counter intuitive to me to start with, so don't be surprised if it's a bit off-putting when initially playing as you'll need to get the hang of it properly to get though the rather lush stages.

    And yes there is some absolutely spunktacular stage and enemy design here, both in terms of how they play and how they look. Vibrant, thematically intriguing backdrops rich in unique flavour layer the game from start to finish, and the mix of cultures they include - from Egyptian, to alien, to Mayan, to space-age etc. - are all fantastic to look at. The arcade original was cool, but how they've embellished it for the Megadrive here is simply stunning. Although that said sometimes they are so impressive, and a little bit gaudy, that occasionally it's easy to lose enemy fire amongst the richness of the backdrops. But that is a fairly rare occurrence. And impressive visuals mean little if the levels themselves played crap, but there's a real purposeful layout for each stage and you can tell that the devs really put their heart & nackers into this.

    [​IMG]

    And what Atomic Runner also does very well is manage to find a brilliant balance between prompting your reactions and requiring memorization for success. You can get by and have a blast just playing "on-twitch", but you certainly won't complete the game unless you get some of the patterns down either. The way they've blended both aspects together is great.

    There's also some fun weapons with some nice variety, and they get the power-up balance spot on in this game too. The standard weapon still packs enough punch to ensure minor enemies can be dealt with easily enough, but there's plenty of power ups thrown at you for the bigger ones. One curious feature, is that if you die a handful of times in the same spot, the game drops a super-power up which powers you up fully straight away to help assist you progress. That may sound overkill, but because you die from one hit it's a good thing as it keeps the game about thriving & buzzing, as opposed to survival and playing your way through it attritionally having to recover all the time. It helps beginners stay in the game, whilst taking the piss out of people who think they are experts too. Well placed checkpoints help in that respect as well and also mean that you keep your buzz going for longer even after dying.

    And I haven't even mention the music & FX. Yep, again they're fucking brilliant. They've mixed space-alien vibes superbly with all the themes that run throughout the game, and whilst none of the tunes are gonna find their way on to your Walkman like say a Catslevania tunes would, they are perfect for the game itself and another element which makes the whole experience so rich.

    When Atomic Runner gets annoying is when you play the sections which are not only tough but fairly tightly scripted too. There's not many of them, but a few small bits have to be played pretty perfectly to progress, and can get a bit tedious repeating the same section over and over to try and make that one, almost perfect run, required to succeed. The sections where there's more freedom to maneuver, and thus more choice in how you approach said part, are definitely more fun. It's a game where, when I came to a sticking point, I'd sometimes be stuck there for a LONG time, and the brick walls felt like big brick walls. But like most of these brick walls they become easy with enough plays, and because of the "drop-on" checkpoints which respawn you very close to where you died, I still couldn't put it down and was still having fun even when hitting them. And, as I mention earlier, it can be a bit tricky to actually get into because of the control system and initially limp feel to it, so bare that in mind when first playing.

    Atomic Runner is not only a very unique and well crafted game, but it's also drips with quality and is addictive as hell. I really can't believe how much I enjoyed going back to it, and I still can't get enough of it as I try miserably to 1cc the hard difficulty level. It's fucking belting.

    :5/5:



    Arcade Version

    [​IMG]


    Now the arcade version is still great, as it's essentially the Megadrive version with much worse graphics. There are a few other slight differences such as in the range of the weapons, but nothing really major apart from one thing, and that's slowdown. It's not common, it doesn't stick around for long, but it was so weird playing an arcade game which looked worse AND slowed down more than it's console counter-part. They also shrunk Chelnov a tiny bit on the Megadrive to give you a bit more screen space, and that is noticeably better on the console too.

    But the arcade version still contains all the fundamentals which make the game such a good blast and, despite being the inferior version overall, is still worth playing as the thematic changes give the game a different spin and are worth seeing in themselves.

    :4/5:
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2021
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  8. Machocruz Arcane

    Machocruz
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    NOSTALGIA BONER: RE-ENGAGED

    But actually never played this one, don't remember if I even heard of it. MD/Genesis with the cool obscure games once again. Such a boss console.

    There is a feeling that 2D graphics games have I find lacking in 3D . Nothing like playing a Sega or Nintendo console classic, or old X-Com, Jagged Alliance 2, Doom, Fallout, Diablo 1/2, C&C, SMAC; all more joyous than their modern equivalents. This is probably completely subjective to me or people like me (and a bit of nostalgia). I love drawing, painting, illustration, cel animation, etc. 2D just does it for me, even if 3D offers more play possibilities.

    I may just go and stick with old console, DOS, and Amiga games for a while. I can't run most modern 3D games anyway until I either upgrade my PC or get a PS5, and the only ones of those I want to play are Bloodborne and NIoh 2.
     
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  9. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
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    :bro:

    The Megadrive really is the best console of all time IMO, definitely the one which remains most relevant now anyway. Few others offer that 20-60 min buzz like the MD does, and there's a ton of hidden gems on it such as Atomic Runner, Dinos For Hire, Arrow Flash, Trouble Shooter 2 etc. which never get talked about. Again, much like the retards who suck of Fallout 4 instead of say Morrowind, the mainstream spasticity drowns out the real quality of the era with the focus always being on the usual suspects such as Sonic & Mario. Hope you enjoy Atomic Runner as much as I do, it's a bit jarring to get into and feels a bit limp at first, but give it a while and once you're used to it the game's fucking awesome.

    Early 3-D really put me off gaming until it got suitably refined, and I only think that it suits certain genres too. Genres such as FPP's and JRPGs? Yeah, give me them in 3-D, but SHMUPS, Beat 'Em Ups, and Platformers especially etc. 2-D all the way for me. There's a just a purity and simplicity in 2-D which can't e captured in 3-D as the depth perception can always be misinterpreted.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2021
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  10. Machocruz Arcane

    Machocruz
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    Actually, this is true for me too. JRPGs never really took off for me until PSX. 2D ones hardly ever had the cool aesthetic that shmups, beat em ups, action platformers had. For example, I don't like the super-deformed Final Fantasy 6 or Lufia character sprites or some of the chunky tiled backgrounds. I wanted Castlevania or Strider looking shit. I still enjoyed them, but they didn't get kool until 3D and the characters started having more 'realistic' proportions, and even then it took a while for that to happen. On the flipside, those other genres declined visually. 95% of 3D side-scrollers look like bland, low effort, low vision ass to me, for example, especially ones that are sequels or remakes of classics. They never compare to the originals.
     
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  11. Falksi Arcane

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    Yup, spot on. I think, similar to devs thinking that 3-D shit like Neverwinter Nights 2 looked better than the delicious 2-D isometric games of old, a lot of more tarded folk completely missed the fact that some of these 2D games had developed and refined their own style and flavour over the years. Streets of Rage 4 is a good example of a 2-D game which technically looks great, but doesn't capture said flavour or feel of the original or genre at all for me.

    I look at this........

    [​IMG]

    ........and think "Get my sunglasses! Who are those 5 dickheads? What's with the dude who's hand is as big half the character's bodies? A fucking GUITAR??? WTF???" etc. It's pure comic book fantasy bullshit" I'm detached.


    Then I look at this......

    [​IMG]

    .....and think "Wow. Dark, gritty, 3 badass motherfuckers ready to kick some arse. No stupid OTT body proportions. This feels attached to the real world." I'm invested.

    The sheer size and quality of the SOR4 artwork makes it look way better and grabs my attention big time, but the message which it conveys is trash.

    The outlandishness which came with 3D suited JRPGs because that's they're style. But it turned all the stuff which should be more earthy and grounded into junk food. It's just frightening that those developing these games don't actually spot that. It's like someone writing a rock song and dialing back on the distortion, or when they make an action flick now and it's just a mindless CGI orgy. My brain switches off and says "I'm watching a retard kids wannabee cartoon made by retard kids"
     
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  12. Licorice Arcane Wumao

    Licorice
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    Apparently SoR4 is a good game but yeah I'm put off by the aesthetic too.
     
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  13. Licorice Arcane Wumao

    Licorice
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    FF6 has amazing monsters tho. Some PCE rpgs look great too. Anything JPC has godly aesthetic. Check Abnaxus' thread in the JRPG section if you haven't already.
     
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  14. lightbane Arcane

    lightbane
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    Blame modern politics for the contrast and the obvious SJW-friendly character. It still looks better and plays better than say, HBSTech.
     
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  15. Machocruz Arcane

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    Yeah, the monster graphics in all those old FFs look good to me, even the NES ones. Romancing SaGa too. Can't lie.

    Is that the thread with all the obscure computer JRPGs? yeah those look great. The hero sprites in a lot of them are still "cartoony", but in the vein of Phantasy Star, which I prefer. And the 80s/90s anime cutscenes/portraits are really cool and help the presentation quite a bit.
     
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  16. Falksi Arcane

    Falksi
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    Barbie Supermodel - SNES/Megadrive

    [​IMG]

    Beth "Breath" Desmond was a local Barbie-doll wannabee I knew in my teens. Young, dumb, full of cum, lovely lass, thick as fuck. She pissed me off in later years because she broke up with one of my best mates who took it badly at the time, but I did always like her for her sillyness. Time passes & people move on, but if you were to say to me "name some of the things that don't sit right in the world" then, alongside stuff like people accepting Disney's dire Star Wars sequels as cannon, Boris "fuckwitt" Johnson ever getting anywhere near the PM's seat, and Buckethead playing for Guns N Roses instead of Slash, then Beth and my mate not ending up together would be up there. They were a perfect fit, and yet it all went tits up. Sometimes the world makes no sense at all. Anyway this game reminds me of her a bit because of said Barbie dollness, so that's why I'm talking bollocks about her.

    [​IMG]

    This game is fucking AMAZING. A timeless 100% classic. OK, maybe not, but it's definitely in the "so bad it's good" category, and because of it's sheer bizarre nature it's got some play-value to it, if only to simply experience a game like few others.

    Barbie Super Model gives men a rare opportunity to step into the shoes of a woman for the day. You drive a car badly usually hitting several other vehicles along the way, potter about doing fluffy things such as cloths shopping, and take part in leisurely activities like having a day at the beach. If it had cooking involved it could have been called "vagina owner simulator", and it gives male players out there a real feel for just how many things women can conjure up to spend money on to fill their fairly empty lives.

    From a gameplay perspective there's really not much to it at all. The main bulk of the game is a bit of a bad "racing" sim, where your main objective is to make it from one side of an area to the other and back again, all whilst avoid the various obstacles along the way. There's a few fashion based mini-games to partake in to bump up your score, and at one end of your journey you practice for a catwalk shoot, at the other you partake in the catwalk shoot itself. It really is as basic as they come, but even then you can dial down the difficulty to exclude the "racing" sections and just play the mini games by themselves.

    [​IMG]
    ^Danger! Female on road!!


    Despite the lack of any real meaty gameplay elements, the second stage was one which I warmed to in particular because it reminds me of California Games' skating event. It's a shame they didn't add a few more dynamics to this section as it's actually a bit fun, and could have been more so with a few minor additions. And yes that could have been said for the other stages too.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]


    The mini games involve simply memorizing a pic of Barbie, and matching up her corresponding fashion items. Again, it's fluff fun for kids, but even then cycling through what seems an endless array of outfits for your magazine cover soon gets tedious. Maybe if she dropped the odd knocker out here and there it would keep things entertaining, but she doesn't even do that.

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    ^^^Tart yourself up like a whore in one of Barbie's various mini-games


    Also, as piss easy as the game is, I did find it a bit funny how respawning from a mini-game could often place you directly next to an obstacle which you had little to no chance of avoiding. Talk about a way to bitch slap the young lasses down who play this just to pretend to be Barbie for a day.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    ^^^Practice your moves, then strut your funky stuff at the show later.

    But as crap and shallow as this game is, I can't help but be somewhat subdued by it's innocence. It brings back fond memories of being kids growing up, seeing lads do laddish things and girls do girly things before SJW's ruined the world by fucking gender role perception up, and before those young innocent girls grew up into cock-hungry, money leeching baby machines.

    After forcing my way through levels of drudgery and shit like games such as Bubsy, BOB and The Tick, I can only be grateful that games such as Barbie Super Model exist to show that even a pretty bad game can bring more joy to the world than a lifeless copy-paste cash-in clone. It's clearly meant for young girls as a bit of fluff, but even sweaty adult men are gonna get more from it than all the bland dross which swamped the quality titles of this era.

    [​IMG]
    ^^^I'd love to fuck a beauty queen in her winning stage dress.

    So it's a very charming but crap game, which offers almost nothing in terms of actual gameplay, excitement, depth or any of the other traditional gaming qualities, but which does offer a semblance of entertainment and innocent joy for it's sheer novel badness. It's feebly feminine qualities will warm your heart, and make you pause for a second when giving the wife her daily beating. Much like a woman it's likeable, but ultimately pretty useless.

    :2/5:
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2021
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  17. deama Liturgist

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