SS Codex goes to space. Prospector ironman LP.

[Nevill]

Well, I said to the death, and there it is - Lizzurd's dead. My duty is done here. We can withdraw honorably.

 

[Ashery]

Well, the only officer that wanted to avoid fighting it is dead, so at least there's no one to give us shit for making the wrong call in attacking right call in a tactical withdrawl.

 

[Kalin]

Better sell off dat lewt and get Cassidy another lazor. Could've blasted that flying trunk-face spike-tailed predator from a safe distance, since zerg tactics clearly don't work!

So yeah, he'd probably miss it, blow up the lazor and butcher half the team in the process, but still...

 

[tindrli]

this is it bros. kill the damn son of a bitch

 

[Trymon]

Can i sign up and embark at the next stop ? I'll fill whatever role is needed.

 

[Zephyr Arsland]

As several men better than myself said before: "Swords are good for many things, specially plowshares. So let's come, see, and run the fuck away"

EDIT: WE NEED GUNZ.

 

[Grimwulf]

Spoiler

This thread delivers

So we're trying to get back to the ship. Escaping from this thing IS NOT EASY

Two more people get killed, covering our retreat. This time it's Grimgravy and Ashery

So who's still alive in the Awayteam:
1. The EVER VIGILANT and NEVER YIELDING Captain Grimwulf, who BRAVELY ENDURES!
2. The cowardly halfmen sqeecoo, who does his best to avoid fighting.
3. The lucky guy tindrli, who wants to see his girlfriend again.
4. The PRO 360 NO SCOPE SNIPER Zephyr Arsland , who is alive thanks to the SHEER SKILL.
5. lightbane the paramedic. YES, HE IS WITH US - I know you all forgot about him! AND HE'S NOT HELPING!

We were running like madmen. Some of us BECAME madmen after this shit. Some time later, the flying humanoid thing fell behind.

Paramedic fixes tindrli as we go (the Doctor gains exp for Paramedic's success - don't ask why). Sqeecoo gets fixed a bit later.

Eventually, we reach the ship and GET THE FUCK out of this planet.

When we left Spacestation 3, we had 15 people on board. A crew that could barely fit in SS Codex. But SPACE is not a friendly or forgiving place.

That's it, we're going to Spacestation 1. No more stops! We were beaten by an ARMLESS DWARF on a DWARF planet!



Before we set off though, a few words about the fallen. That's gonna be a LONG funeral speech.

Grimgravy was destined to die this way. He was the kind of man who takes one for the team. If only he had a weapon to defend himself. If only his spacesuit wasn't damaged. But that's a life of Prospector secuity.
Ashery was a Bottle Brother. I remember him asking me, "So, what are our new wages going to be?". I smiled and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, like, "you'll see". Then we landed on this planet. You should never ask uncomfotable questions on SS Codex, men.
Lizzurd IS GONE, WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO


A NO-LIFEFORM KILLED THE SCALY BASTARD, THAT WILL TEACH HIM! YEAH! Seriously though, anybody else wants to eat his corpse? Or make a pair of decent boots out of his leather?
Dayyālu was a men among mens. Just like Achilles, only somewhat more silent. His death means that his girlfriend is free again. Just saying.
Joined on the 4th of July was a true leader of space mehrines. And like a true leader, he died first. In his very first real battle. He did it to protect his squad, but the squad died nonetheless. Morale of the story? Cpt. Grimwulf is always right.

If anybody wants to add anything, now is the right time to do it. Meanwhile, SS Codex will fly to the Spacestation 1.

And arrive there by tomorrow.

 

[a bear named spigot]

as the officer responsible for the initial decision to attack the flying trunkman, I take full responsibility for our losses. as such, I will now take responsibility for all belongings, wages and girlfriends they have left behind. it's what they would have wanted.

 

[Grimwulf]

I will now take responsibility for all belongings, wages and girlfriends they have left behind

Here is the thing. I don't know how, or when, but AT SOME POINT during our space adventures, you've managed to find a gf/bf of your own.

ON A STATION WE'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE.

Or so you say, at least. She might get jealous if you'll start comforting the soulmates of our fallen. Some of those soulmates might be trannies, you never know what kind of people are working here on SS Codex.

 

[a bear named spigot]

how's our space internet connection? maybe while you guys have been out exploring planets and getting slapped around by coneheads I've been getting into an online relationship.

 

[lightbane]

. lightbane the paramedic. YES, HE IS WITH US - I know you all forgot about him! AND HE'S NOT HELPING!

It's not my fault if you people are so squishy! Seriously, 2 hp means everyone dies way too fast. If only I was allowed to make a few minor bio-modifications to the crew, that wouldn't happen.

A NO-LIFEFORM KILLED THE SCALY BASTARD, THAT WILL TEACH HIM! YEAH! Seriously though, anybody else wants to eat his corpse?

Is that an offer? I mean, I will gladly take his belongings to bring these back to his family, who should have them. Totally.

 

[Zephyr Arsland]

I'll mourn the departure of our good comrades. We had some good times, while being cramped on this tin can, double bunking (sometimes that meant sleeping while standing up). I never quite understood "Dr." Lizzurd. He was quite insane even by reptiloid standards and rumor had it that he was exiled from his colony world after committing some unspeakable atrocity. We'll never know now.

The rest of the team will be sorely missed. Except for Dayyālu , who owed me money and whose girlfriend is the closest thing to a space vixen I've seen since enlisting.

 

[Grimwulf]

how's our space internet connection?

Our connection is solid. How do you think Azira orders alcohol delivery?

Is that an offer? I mean, I will gladly take his belongings to bring these back to his family, who should have them. Totally.

I wouldn't touch his belongings if I were you. In fact, let's quarantine them, for grater good.

Except for Dayyālu , who owed me money

Cassidy still owes me 550 Cr for dat lazor. It's just the way SS Codex exists. We all have our debts, and then we die.

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

Leading by example. Die like this, men.

Security guys earned XP!

I nominate Sqeecoo as my heir.

 

[Zephyr Arsland]

You'll be remembered, lieutenant. Or whatever your rank was. And furthermore w- What? Sqeecoo?

 

[Joined on the 4th of July]

You'll be remembered, lieutenant. Or whatever your rank was. And furthermore w- What? Sqeecoo?

He has a commanding presence. Two meters tall hobbit, that says great leadership potential.

 

[kazgar]

Wouldn't it be useful to make more visits to space stations in the early game, as stat/skill increases only happen at that time? There's been a bit of experience thrown around but not many level ups, if you had gotten one or two you might have been able to land a hit.

Also, you seem to leave your close combat expert on the ship most of the time? yet only have close combat weapons?

 

[Azira]

Landing on a space station sounds like a good idea. I need to pick up my next shipment of booze anyhow. Can't keep distilling it from our spacefuel..

 

[tindrli]

yeah.. i need to do... something at local CDC center... you know..science stuff.... booooooriiiing

 

[hostergaard]

So I downloaded and played this game for a bit, crew members are exceptionally incompetent, but like a good little minmaxer I found a way to exploit it.

See, your redshirts can't hit a cave wall inside a cave to save their lives but they still get xp , in fact your entire away team does. So I just land on a planet, find a sleeping creature, set it to autofire and then just wait a half a minute. My men have the skills of an imperial storm trooper so naturally they miss every single shot they take on a completely inmobile target. Butg every miss give the entire team one 1 xp. After I get something like 100 xp I simply return to station for instant level up (not that it matters much, elites are apparently as incompetent as they where as rookies, maybe I am just badly equipped tough).

And the easiest way to make money I found is to trade; find two station that you can trade on and just ship goods between them, you can easily make 1000+ per load even witha scout ship. And automated mining bots are basically just free money, get as many as possible and dumb them everywhere.

 

[tindrli]

yeah but thats cheating.. we will not use it... aaaand its BOOOORRIIING!!!

 

[Lizzurd]

THIS IS TRAITORSHIP! YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS OF MY ACHIEVEMENTS AND NOW YOU KILL ME! BUT YOU WILL NEVER MANAGE TO OUTDO ME!!! *chokes on*

 

[Azira]

 

[Grimwulf]

Also, you seem to leave your close combat expert on the ship most of the time? yet only have close combat weapons?

Every time I see Cassidy, I remember the lazor incident and want to kill him. That's why he stays on the ship most of the time, for me to cool down.

Can't keep distilling it from our spacefuel..

That explains the taste.



Anyway, we've reached Spacestation 1 without any additional casualties.

Every fucking system is malfunctioning, though. Ok, let's dock! Are you ready for dem MAD WAGES? Don't spend all at once!

Huh? I know where you live, Zephyr.

And look at these two!

Buy her/him some space flowers, tindrli. Pick something cheap.

Okay! Enjoy your rest, while the Captain begs trades for Credits with local Megacorp.

I'm rich! ALMOST 3000 Credits on my account! And I know just the way to fix that "almost" issue.

That's right ladies, Cpt. Grimwulf is back! Now show me some love at the poker table.

Oh, gimme a break. Nadja has a pair of Kings. I fold. Duh.

Two pairs even! Commander of this staton has won, what a big surprise! Stop cropping cards, you cheaters!

Let's do it one more time.

YEAH! FUCK YES! I'll rape them all with this hand. A pair of eights. Too bad everyone can see it.

I raise.

What's up, NADJA? If you can't handle the pressure, maybe you're not fit for this job? Think about it.

Hmpf, that prick Daniel raises my raise, although he can clearly see I have a pair of eights. Just bluffing his ass off.

I RAISE YOUR RAISE!

... He raised my raise. HEY! My balls are pure titanium, while yours are somewhere at aluminium-tier. I raise!

YEAH! EAT THIS, BITCH! WOOOOO

I'm so good at this. Let's have a chat with Nadja, I remember she was inquiring about dem alien artwork.

I have two items for selling. Religious idol that we traded wiith an alien for a flash grenade (it even saved Dayyalu's life once), and a small stone statue that I exchanged for a secret report.

So you ony need one, eh? Then how about this statue for 160 Cr?

WHAT, OH COME ON! I exchanged it for a secret report that costed me 100 Cr, are you even serious?

...

At least let's have a drink. What? No, I'm not buying. But let me offer you a special reserve from my ship - a sublime beverage, distilled from the finest materials by the greatest master in SPACE. Just ignore the weird taste.

Thank you, dearie. A goodbye handjob? No? A kiss, maybe? Aaand she closed the door. What a charming young lass.

Waaaaait a minute. Claudia Spencer? The Freelancer we met at the small private station back then? How's SPACE been treatin' ya?

She's still selling the same ship for the same price. Which I can't afford, and don't really want to have.

So you want to trade your

for my sulfur? Deal.

Hm. I received nothing. But jokes on you, Claudia - I had no sulfur on board.



Ok, that does it. There is also a xenobiologist and a doctor, but I don't know these people. Besides, I have some shopping to do.

Refueled (49 Cr) and repaired (110 Cr) the ship.

Funny, I don't remember where did we suffer that hull damage. AZIRA!



That man, I swear. Let's go buy some BIG GUNS.

Why does everything have to be so expensive? I can only afford a couple of gyro jet guns

And maybe one gauss rifle for our sniper Zephyr.

Yes. Let's do this.

Done. Now, my ship needs a new lazor. And a new gunner, eventually.

550 Cr, eh? Not like I have much choice.

Tractor beam is sort of useful too, by the way.

Might be a solution for getting those resources out of ice blocks, rubble, rocks and mountains. Then again, it requires a weapon slot (this ship only has one which is now used for lazor); and we would have to constanrly fly closer to those unreachable resources, wasting fuel and damaging the ship during landings.

Enough rumbling, though. Let's buy an armor improvement.

Yes. that will do. Now our max hull is 10, but the current one still 5. We need to repair the rest for a price of 110 Cr / 1 Hull, which we won't do right now. 5 is enough, right? As for ammunition,

Yes, let's load dem fusion warheads!

The stats didn't change. Strange. Guess we had some problems trying to instal warheads on a shitty lazer.

Last but not least, it's high time we get a navcomp on board.

Err, we're running out of cash all of a sudden. No worries! I can always win some more at poker, if the need arises.

And now for the very final part, recruiting! Cpt. Grimwulf takes a note that FOR SOME REASON, there aren't as many voluteers willing to sign up for service on SS Codex, as it used to be. If something happens to the current crew, and there will be no more volunteers, the Cap will retire, and the ship itself decomissioned. Sometimes you just have to let go.

Meanwhile, I'd like to introduce ye all to our new science officer Matalarata, Squad Leader Lhynn, security guard hostergaard and two clones of Nevill.

We need moar details

1. Matalarata the scientist.

A tall man of much understandings, as he puts it himself. He promised to work like Stakhanov on this ship, so I just couldn't refuse. Matalarata will accompany most of our Awayteam expeditions to gain experience and get into this line of work quickly.

If he asks any of you what happened to his predecessor, be as vague as possible.

2. Hostergaard the guard. (geddit?)

He is young, beefy and happy! Just like ERYDKRAD, Kalin, Dayyalu and so many others. I have a good feeling about his survival chances!

3. THE CLONES OF NEVILL

Why are they so different, you ask? Because the cloning lab was a back-alley cheap-ass company, existing mainly for money laundering. It went bankrupt long ago, all DNA samples are long gone now.

These are the last clones of Nevill left in the Universe. "Last" doesn't mean "best". Hopefully, they inherited the viking spirit of the original Nevill.

4. Squad leader Lhynn.

The yongest crew member on board, but at least his brains aren't corrupted by years of drinking, smoking, fucking and whatnot. He'll get you lazy butts into shape in no time!

Except for sqeecoo. Nothing can be done about space hobbit, I'm afraid.

Welcome aboard! Since I lost the bet to Azira recently, I have to keep my word and raise your wages a bit. Fine.

HEY, DON'T SNEAK PEEK AT MY ACCOUNT! Of course I have enough to pay you all. Anybody doubts that? No? Good.

Let me check if the Megacorp offers any jobs before we launch.

Huh. Awright, let's take a note. 55:16 - remember the coordinates, Azira. Stay away from there.

START DEM ENGINES! SPACE AWAITS!

So much better with a navcomp! Speak up your minds, officers and cannon fodder! We can fly anywhere, do anything. The decision is up to you, coz the Captain needs to take a nap.

 

[Cassidy]

Check the outskirts of that Nebula near Spacestation-1. Could be a lot of systems there.