If anything, the problem common among people working within the american mental framework is that they truly shy away from expressing their direct interests. And this goes way back. They can be deeply hurt by something, and instead of saying "this ruins my prospects, this is bad, this harms me so it has to go" they will refer to abstract values or worse, they will oppose it on the basis that they're worried that it will harm the instigator[!]. For an american mind, subsidizing foreigners is bad, because it might hurt said foreigners. Feminism is bad, because it might hurt women. This is akin to a bully stealing your lunch, and your only reaction being: "oh my god, if this continues he's going to get gluttonous and unhealthy from all the sugar; this is terrible". I can't help myself from exclaiming THIS IS BACKWARDS! anytime I encounter it. It baffles me how you made losing into en ethic. Perhaps some ideas about chivalry made you like this; since, say, the classical Athenians knew nothing of it and never encountered that problem. In fact their problem was kind of the polar opposite.
It might be a wider cultural phenomenon. In an archetypical european action movie the guy beats his enemies, gets the girl and goes on to live happily. In an archetypical american movie the guy fucking dies and gets nothing. Notably it likely saves his village/country/whatever, but you know, in the end it is romanticizing a loss(I'm reminded of that boy from Howard's Beyond the Black River here). No, it is not high or noble; it'll lead one straight to the grave, while others benefit from his sacrifice, quietly admitting he was a total loser to do so. On the other hand, if there's any appreciation for death in manly european or japanese context, it is because it in some way brings benefit to the one who is not afraid to die. That is a profound difference. When you stand to gain from an act, it cannot be called self-sacrifice. This way you can almost treat courage as the highest form of appreciation of self. So in general terms, one could claim that the chad European, or rather - of this particular european tradition, for the sake of the argument - knows no self-sacrifice, while the virgin American dies willingly so that his crush gets to be safe in arms of a cowardly man. The Hagakure comes to mind. The Japanese had no respect for women, yet they knew a thing or two about risk and virtue. This was different. But I digress.