Update 18: Virtual entertainment
So yeah, as some of you have probably guessed
roll
, we're inside a VR.
Sceptic said:
Goddamnit Bee, I wish you had waited before showing that game over
Sorry, Sceptic, but it was so obvious I didn't think there'd be any point in concealing that. In fact, there was an altogether different thing that had me wondering the first time I played through this sequence -- that is, I was wondering if the Heechee and the Assassins were in truth one and the same species and the Guardian's speech was a lie.
But anyway, let's see what this (obviously male-created) virtual reality has to offer in the way of entertainment. And since this is a VR, we'll need to break it somehow to get out of it. For that, we'll need to figure out its rules and what can be done to trick them.
> examine hostess
The hostess is a beautiful woman. She flits from conversation to conversation with ease, making everyone comfortable. Every once in a while she glances over at you and smiles.
> examine people
The people are dressed in a variety of styles, representing a cross-section of a few generations of Gateway prospectors. They all seem to be having a good time; laughter periodically floats through the air from all sides.
> examine windows
They seem to look out into the heart of the galaxy. The endless night is filled with stars.
> examine galaxy
It's definitely the Milky Way. Somewhere out there, one of those stars is Earth's Sol. So close, yet so far... You shake your head and stop yourself before you get too poetic.
We've been given a credit card we can use to buy items and play games. There are several game booths here as well as a bar. And as you may remember, all these people are supposed to be Gateway prospectors just like us.
> ask hostess about ballroom
"This is the guests' favorite place to mingle, meet, and relax. I'm sure they'd be interested in any news you have about Gateway; most of them have been here for quite a while.
> ask hostess about windows
She breathes heavily and closes her eyes. "Yes, isn't this place wonderful? I've never seen anything else as beautiful."
> ask hostess about Gateway
"Well, I miss it a little, but I certainly wouldn't trade what I've found here for a ride back."
The VR is obviously programmed so as to make us
want to stay here.
> examine crystal bridge
The crystal bridge spans the stream separating the ballroom and the bar. On one side is a spectacular waterfall and on the other are the towering windows.
> examine waterfall
The waterfall is artificial, but that doesn't lessen its beauty. The water cascades down into the stream which separates the ballroom and the bar.
> ask hostess about bar
"If you find the ballroom too noisy or bright, you might prefer the more relaxing atmosphere of the bar. I'd join you, but duty calls." She sighs and returns her attention to the party.
To the southeast is the hatch through which we entered the ballroom, but there's no way back.
> examine hatch
The hatch is made of Heechee metal and it appears to be locked. There's no way you're going to be able to open it.
> ask hostess about hatch
"The hatch the only entrance, and there simply is no exit. This might seem discouraging right now, but I'm sure you'll learn to love this place as much as the rest of us."
There's also a WaiterBot here attending to the guests.
> examine WaiterBot
The WaiterBot exists only to serve treats from his tray to the people attending the ballroom party.
> kick WaiterBot
You knock over the WaiterBot and he spills the tray of food onto the floor. He spins around frantically for a few moments, unable to get upright. When he finally succeeds he grabs the tray, refills it with dropped food, and continues on his rounds.
> ask hostess about WaiterBot
"The Heechee have seen to all of our needs exceptionally well. The robot servants are prime examples of this. We want for nothing here; it's a perfect place to live out your life."
> examine tray
The tray contains a mound of brightly colored snacks.
Snacks, huh?
> take snack
The WaiterBot hands you one of the snacks from the tray.
> eat snack
You take a bite and are surprised by the sharp yet strangely pleasant taste. You quickly gobble down the rest.
Hmm, nothing that looks breakable so far. Let's ask the hostess about herself.
> ask hostess about hostess
"Every so often, we designate someone to take the role of host or hostess. Right now, it's my turn. Usually we just oversee everyone's entertainment. But if we're lucky, we get to greet a newcomer. You're my first!"
We can also ask the hostess about our protagonist as well as kiss her -- she won't protest:
In fact, all the women in here seem perfectly kissable.
> kiss partygoers
You sneak a kiss from one of the women in the ballroom. She turns towards you, smiles, and returns to her conversation.
And even the WaiterBot, too:
> kiss WaiterBot
The WaiterBot gives you a blank stare, and then holds out the tray of treats to you.
There are three kinds of games offered here -- Guess Your Weight, Ball Throw, and Wheel of Fortune.
> ask hostess about Guess Your Weight
"That's my absolute FAVORITE! If you go there, I'll have to go with you. I must see how you do."
> ask hostess about Ball Throw
"Oh yes, the Ball Throw booth! I've played there quite a few times. I'm sure you'll find it very entertaining."
> ask hostess about Wheel of Fortune
"Oh yes, the Wheel of Fortune booth! I've played there quite a few times. I'm sure you'll find it very entertaining."
Sounds... entertaining! For now, however, let's head north to the bar.
You climb over the crystal bridge, admiring the quiet flow of the waterfall into the stream. Soon you pass from the bright lights of the ballroom into the subtler atmosphere of the bar.
Oooh.
> examine woman
She so closely fits your ideal of the perfect woman that it seems someone designed her to your specifications. Auburn hair lies atop sculpted features, and she wears a clinging dress that accentuates her natural curves and leaves the perfect amount to the imagination.
"It seems someone designed her to your specifications"? Not exactly subtle, game.
We ask the woman about herself.
You start to ask her a question, but realize you haven't even met. You greet her warmly and she looks at you mischievously and snuggles up beside you.
"Hello, handsome. I've been watching you. You're new here, aren't you? I'll bet you have the most exciting stories to tell." She glances at the back room. "Would you like to go someplace private where we can... talk?"
Wait, already? ...Well, okay.
> yes
"That's great, honey. Lead on. We'll go when you're ready."
To the north is a door leading to a secluded room; I guess that's where we need to go to enjoy the, um, virtual babe's company.
> ask woman about door
"Now THAT's an idea! What do you think? Would you like to explore back there a bit?"
> touch woman
"You KNOW I'm interested, sugar. I just think we should go somewhere a little more private. I remember mentioning something about a back room?" She lifts one eyebrow inquisitively.
> kiss woman
The woman responds to your kiss passionately. She seems more than willing to keep going.
Also, we can order her a drink.
"Thank you." She accepts the drink and slowly savors the liquor while gazing at your over the rim of the glass. When she finishes, she returns the glass and gives you a beautiful smile.
Alright, so back room it is.
> examine door
There doesn't seem to be a knob or handle of any sort upon the door. It is basically a blank sheet of metal with a raised panel located to one side.
> examine panel
The panel is to the left of the door in the north wall. The outline of a hand is printed upon it.
Well, I believe we should press it.
> press panel
Achievement unlocked: Virtual sex.
After the coitus, it's blah blah time.
> ask woman about hostess
"I guess she's a nice girl. But you like me better, don't you?"
If
yes:
She nibbles on your earlobe and whispers, "I'm very glad to hear that."
If
no:
"You're just teasing me." she responds, although she can't help but look a little hurt.
> ask woman about bar
She looks around at the bar. "I suppose it's a nice enough place, but I come here more for the people."
> ask woman about Gateway
"I didn't like it particularly. There was so much pressure to be, well, productive. Here I can just relax and focus on the things that make me happy."
> ask woman about woman
"Well, I came here about four years ago. I guess that makes me a relative newcomer. Even so, I really haven't met anyone that special... until now." She looks into your eyes and smiles.
That woman is annoying. I wanna kick her.
> kick woman
She dodges out of the way and says, "You know, there are better ways to work out anger and frustration."
There's also a man named Flint sitting at the nearby poker table.
> examine Flint
The first thing you notice about the man is his piercing sea-green eyes that seem to look right through you. A woman is draped over his shoulders, although he barely takes notice of her. He reminds you of the archetypical self-serving hero - a good man to have at your back in a fight.
Flint is busy playing so we can't really ask him about anything.
You ask your question of Flint, but he cuts you off with a chop of his hand. You decide to try again later.
We can, however, ask the woman about Flint and others, as well as about Gateway.
> ask woman about Flint
"Oh, the 'professional' poker players? I don't really think much about them. I've always preferred other activities. Playing games just doesn't seem to be for me."
> ask woman about patrons
"I don't think you need any of them when you've got me. I like to think you got the best."
I wonder what happens if we kick Flint...
> kick Flint
Flint blocks your attack with a blur of movement. "Let's keep this friendly, shall we?" You see the threat behind his smile, and decide to leave him alone.
...or maybe kiss him? He's just so manly.
> kiss Flint
His eyes widen in surprise, and then narrow. "You try that again and I'll twist your head off."
Again, you say?
> kiss Flint
Flint growls and starts to leap towards you when Susan, the girl draped over his shoulders, restrains him. He reluctantly sits down again, burning a hole in your head with his glare.
Susan, you say?
> kiss Susan
Susan waves you away. Clearly, she's not interested.
Oh, too bad. The BarBot will have to do, then.
> kiss BarBot
"I appreciate the sentiment, Sir, but I'm sure one of the bar's lovely patrons would be more suitable for that type of activity."
We attempt joining the game of poker, but...
"Look, pal. You look like a nice guy, but this is a high stakes game. You've gotta have a fairly good sized bankroll if you want to sit in. No debtors here, and frankly, you don't look that lucky. Now beat it." The man turns back to the game.
Hmm, we need some money. And to win money, we need to play games. Simple, really.
Let's begin with a game of Ball Throw.
Let's listen to: Frederik Pohl's Gateway OST - Game Booth Theme
Alternatively:
The GameBot rolls up to you and exclaims, "Ho! Look what we have here! You look like a man who enjoys a challenge. I'll bet you could do this blindfolded. Just insert your card into the friendly slot, and try your skill!"
So we insert the card.
> insert card into slot
The credit card disappears in the slot with a soft click.
"A true gamesman you are, sir, ready to take up the challenge. Well, I shan't delay you. Take this ball and toss it towards yon bottles. Your skill and a bit of luck shall decide the outcome." He hands you the ball with a formal gesture and waves towards the shining pyramids.
Okay, so the point of the game is to throw the ball at those bottles.
> throw ball
The GameBot produces your gold credit card and places it in your palm.
Hey, we won! But... what's that about the ball changing course in midair?
Something's fishy. Let's try again.
...
And we win again in the same way. Hmm.
The GameBot trundles up, peers in your direction through inch thick, virtually opaque glasses, and says, "Ahh, a customer!" He squints a bit more and asks, "Would Madam like to try her luck? Just insert your card into the slot. Only five dollars a guess!"
Wait... Madam? Oh, he must be talking about the hostess.
We insert the card into the slot.
The credit card disappears in the slot with a soft click.
"Thank you so much, Madam. It's people like you that make my job the joy that it is. Now, let me see." The GameBot makes a show of looking you over. "I'd have to say you weigh 542 pounds. Now, step on the scale and we'll see if you win!"
No, he definitely means our prospector, not the hostess... In that case,
> kiss bot
The GameBot draws back. "That's not quite the entertainment I was programmed for, Sir."
Oh, so
now it's "Sir", huh?
> step on scale
You step onto the scale. The huge numbers on the display roll for a few seconds, and finally come to stop at 163.
And we win again. And again.
Extremely fishy.
Also, there is at least one important detail clearly indicating we're inside a VR: the locations of the game booths tend to switch places from time to time. It's pretty disorienting. But finally we make our way to the Wheel of Fortune.
The GameBot barks, "Hurry, hurry. Place your bets on the Lucky Wheel! $50 a bet, but worth every nickel. Play the most popular game around.
"Step right up, my good man. $50 a pop might seem a little steep for a $100 prize, but we're the most fun around and nobody's got a bigger payoff! Try your luck!"
Now we must indicate the slot in which we want to insert our card.
> insert card in slot 2
A woman edges her way to the front and shyly inserts her card into the three slot. "I wish you luck." she whispers to you.
"All bets are in? Very good. No more, please. The wheel is about to start turning!" The GameBot reaches up to the wheel's controls.
Looks like we've got a rival.
> examine woman
She is modestly dressed and keeps her hands clasped in front of her. She sees you looking her way and smiles at you.
> kiss woman
You kiss her on the cheek. She blushes and smiles.
But back to the game. The wheel stops at 2.
The GameBot shakes your hand and touches your credit card, adding in the grand prize money.
The woman smiles at you and says, "I'm happy for you. I'm glad one of us won." She quickly disappears into the crowd.
It all repeats, even if with different competitors.
Competitor #2:
A well dressed man glides to the front and immediately slides his card into the one slot. He looks down his nose at you and states imperiously, "I'm going to win, you know. I always win."
> kiss man
"What are you trying to do, distract me? It won't work. I'm lucky enough to win this game whether I pay attention or not."
...
The man looks shocked. "I've never lost before. You must be luckier than me, if that's possible. Simply unbelievable." He shakes his head as he melts into the crowd.
Competitor #3:
A young man wanders up to the counter and looks it over. After rubbing his chin a bit, he decides upon slot number one and inserts his card.
> kiss man
"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that; people might get to a'talkin."
...
The young man shrugs his shoulders. "Ah well. I was never really one for games." He congratulates you and then ambles off into the crowd.
Competitors #4:
Two men tussle their way up to the counter and start to argue over which slot to bet on. After a few heated comments, they apparently decide on slot three and insert a card into it.
> kiss men
"Hey, chill out. We ain't, you know, that way." The two men start clearing their throats and making vaguely masculine grunts.
The two men glare at you, but then start to argue with each other about the number they picked. You can still hear the fight as they walk away into the crowd.
Well, now you know: this Virtual Reality is programmed in such a way that we always win at whatever game we play. Which means, the only way to break it is actually
lose.
Hmm, that gives me an idea...
> insert card in slot 1
You insert the card into the slot labeled one. It makes a soft click and the number begins to glow. The card then pops back out into your hand. The GameBot says, "Please hold on to your card. If too many people bet, it gets a bit confusing when it comes time to reclaim them."
The GameBot yells out, "Any other takers? Step right up, don't be shy. Get your bets in now before the big wheel starts a'spinnin'!"
And now we quickly...
> insert card in slot 2
You insert the card into the slot labeled two. It makes a soft click and the number begins to glow. The card then pops back out into your hand.
...
The huge wheel spins quickly. The GameBot and the crowd stare at it anxiously. As it slows, the people around you appear almost panic-stricken.
The wheel stops on 1, but then backtracks to 2:
The wheel stops on number one, but then suddenly backtracks to two. The crowd steps back, and the GameBot flattens himself against the counter. He turns to stare at you. "You can't win," he says in front of the oscillating wheel. "That's impossible. It doesn't follow the rules!"
We've broken the VR.
There is, however, an alternative way of breaking it -- by losing at poker. For that, we must go back to the bar and show our credit card to Flint.
> show card to Flint
"Whoa, looks like we've got a real player here! Take a seat and kiss your money goodbye." His eyes never leave your platinum card as he points out the westernmost chair.
In the quiet west corner of the bar, you and three others are seated around a poker table. Soft blue light flows from the table's center, lending an eerie appearance to the players. On the table in front of each person is a small screen, a keypad, and a slot.
On the poker table you see some playing cards.
As you seat yourself, the rough man in the center says, "Let me introduce the crew here. To my right is the Prof. He claims he's got a system, but I don't see him winning any more than the rest of us. The other guy is Abner. He's a shark." The man on his left pretends to look offended but can't quite pull it off. "Or so he likes to think. I'm Flint, and I'm good. Don't get too comfortable in that seat; we'll have you separated from your cash in no time."
"We play straight five card poker. You deal five cards, you bet, and the best hand wins. It's quick and to the point. Why don't you deal this hand?"
First we examine the two players new to us.
> examine Professor
The professor looks exactly like what you would expect from someone with his nickname. He wears thick spectacles, his hairline is receding, and he wears an old, frayed tweed suit. He seems perpetually distracted as he stares into space and tries to improve the formulas for his poker system.
> examine Abner
At first glance, your instinct tells you not to trust this guy. The second glance confirms your suspicion. Abner wears a dark pinstripe suit with a thin tie. His hair is slicked back in an oily streak, and he has a nervous habit of stroking his greasy moustache when he is deep in thought.
And well, you know the drill.
> kiss Abner
"Hey, Pinhead. What're you trying to do? Break my concentration?" You wipe the grease from your lips and realize that this was probably a mistake.
> kiss Professor
The professor slides back his chair and eyes you warily.
We can also examine Susan better now.
> examine Susan
The girl hovering near Flint seems to try and blend into the background as much as possible. She is pretty, and looks to be totally devoted to him.
Alright, let's get to the game.
> deal
I don't really play poker, but I think that's called "four of a kind". Pretty good hand.
"You'd better get your card into the table if you want to bet," Flint says a little impatiently.
We insert the card.
The credit card disappears in the slot with a soft click, which seems to light up the small screen on the table. Flint grins. The Professor looks as if he's figuring out the mathematical basis of Tau space. The betting goes around with a few sly glances and thoughtful looks.
A soft voice emanating from the table whispers, "You need a bet of thirty dollars to stay in the game. Please enter your bet on the keypad in front of you."
We bet thirty dollars...
> bet 30 dollars
A soft feminine voice whispers, "Bet thirty dollars." Your total bet of $30 appears on the small table screen.
You match the table's bet, and the others lay down their cards. Although each has an impressive hand, none is as good as yours. The professor shakes his head and looks up in the air, pondering the mathematical implications of his defeat. Flint gives a low whistle and looks at you with new respect. Abner frowns and throws daggers at you with his gaze.
Flint says lightly, "We'll just have to get you next hand. Deal 'em out, lucky!"
...guess what, we win.
The only way to lose is to make use of one of the most basic poker rules -- the one saying the player can "fold" his hand and forfeit his bets if he feels like it.
A soft voice emanating from the table whispers, "You need a bet of seventy dollars to stay in the game. Please enter your bet on the keypad in front of you."
> fold
The players look at you strangely, as if you've lost your mind.
Abner exclaims, "How can you fold? You've got to..." Then his voice trails off.
The professor looks you straight in the face, fear glistening in his eyes. "You can't fold. That would mean you would lose, and you can't lose! You just....can't!"
WHEN SUDDENLY
"Escape from my realm is impossible. Even your inevitable death will provide no release, for it will only bring a new cycle of agony and suffering. Four torments shall you have, and four time four ways to die. Even so, you will soon wish for more, and the wish itself will become a torment of its own."
So instead of eternal virtual pleasure, eternal virtual (?) hell awaits us now!
Next time: Hot. Mean. Eternal. Hell, where it hurts so good!