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The Ellen Page Escort Simulator by Uncharted devs

Discussion in 'General Gaming' started by Malpercio, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. Zed Codex Staff Patron

    Zed
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    girl escorters are the new WW2 shooters
     
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  2. Twinkle Liturgist

    Twinkle
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    Here's an idea.

    How about making a post-apocalyptic game without zombies, infected, mutants and all that crap? Just humans. Just survival. I mean after The Road got so much critical acclaim you'd think it would be a no-brainer (hurr).
     
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  3. FeelTheRads Arcane Patron

    FeelTheRads
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    :lol:

    You keep delivering in this thread.
    But seriously, how can there be more than "one of a kind moment"? Gaming industry is best industry, that's how. :hero:
     
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  4. Pika-Cthulhu Arcane

    Pika-Cthulhu
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    I read this post and it gave me a brilliant idea for an escort game that would really fuck with gaming journos. You play as a father who is desperately looking for his child in a world gone mad. People are out to kill you and you have to rescue your daughter from being held somewhere. Your wife is dead, killed by the evil murdering psychos and your daughter was taken away, after you rescue here (tutorial level of breaking in and rescue) you spend the rest of the game fighting through a city gone mad as you try to get to the safety of your cabin in the woods as you plan to lie low and wait out the apocalypse/zombies/madness/contrails. Your daughter follows you blindly, but mutely, you keep trying to reassure her of how its all going to be okay and you'll keep her safe, she trusts you but seems withdrawn, over the course of the game she regains her speech (some catatonia to begin with) and starts dropping small hints that let you know that she knows more about her mothers mysterious murder. FInally when you get to the cabin at the end its all safe, you saved your daughter, happy music plays and the effort of getting your mass murder on to get your daughter safe from the crazy hordes of popamole is all forgotten as you live your life in a log cabin in the woods.

    Cue twist, final moments are of a security recording of a police interview, turns out you are a schizophrenic, your daughter witnessed you murder your wife, and all through the story those crazy people you murdered were actually law abiding citizens and police officers trying to stop you on your brutal psychotic rampage. GOTY!!! MURDERSPREE AND EMOTIONAL ENGAGEMENT!!!! Sort of like a Brevik given charge of a minor explaining his manifesto, and the child accepting it as fact.

    Edit. Make the PC a retired christian minister, the enemies are Demon possessed/devil worshippers, have the game portray his psychotic break to the player so what he believes is what is shown, his wife left him with the kid to live in a big city, he came from small town Westboro, came to visit and lost his shit. After rescuing his child he planned to return to his hometown where its safe and people arent satan worshippers, except he sees someone from the hometown on a newsbit, figured that the demons are everywhere and he best escape to wait out the judgement at the cabin.

    The only reason why id like to see that kind of twist to really put these game journos in mind of why they keep lauding these mass murder sims as great works of storytelling and not the facile shit made for retards games that they are.

    Edit 2. You know what? Fuck all my previous ideas, just remake DOOM, throw in a kid/female character to escort, and add some light story there. You get your Murdersim with emotional engagement AND a remake/reboot at the same time. Fuck I should be a gaming exec!
     
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  5. almondblight Arcane

    almondblight
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    Yeah, I remember that part in Citizen Kane where Orson Welles pulled out a machine gun and started mowing down zombies.

    One thing you can about the fans of Transformers or Scary Movie is that they don't go around screaming about how those films should be held up next to the highest forms of art or placed in museums.
     
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  6. Whisky The Solution

    Whisky
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    Whoa man, that's like Braid times a million! So fucking deep!
     
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  7. CSM Cipher Patron

    CSM
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    Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    That'll be 20 Doritos bags and 15 bottles of Mountain Dew.
     
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  8. Do you think game journalists actually believe the shit they say or not? I'm not really sure which would be worse. Probably believing it.
     
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  9. Whisky The Solution

    Whisky
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    Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera
    Wow, he really has the dead stare on his twitter avatar too.

    I think this whole thing is a cry for help.
     
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  10. Metro Arcane Beg Auditor

    Metro
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    I'm sure they do. It's actually a legitimate profession now. That ad had eleven reviews from eleven shitty websites/e-zines that all have a full paid staff of lickspittles. When someone hands you a check for doing nothing but playing games and composing high school level one page essays it just reinforces your own delusions.
     
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  11. Jiggy Boobles TESTOSTERONIC As Fuckā„¢ Patron

    Jiggy Boobles
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    I wish my high school essays were as short as modern game reviews. Usually we had to do at least 2 to 3 pages.
     
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  12. sexbad? Arcane Patron

    sexbad?
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    The videos I've seen remind me of Condemned. It had enemies that could retreat and hide behind walls and attempt to flank you, and it was actually something dynamic. The only memories I have of any similar game involve enemies who just run straight at you and fall dead happily at your feet. The problem was that the gameplay itself was still extremely simplistic. Half of the weapons lying around like fire axes and sledgehammers and shotguns were god mode toggles, and the taser was enough to kill some fuckers instantly and recharged in just eight seconds. You also only had two moves--attack and block--so fighting anybody involved a very simple, formulaic strategy.

    Assuming that the AI in TLoU can actively do what is shown in the videos I've seen, that is a good element that I could appreciate, but the whole thing looks so fucking easy that it will probably pull a Condemned. Cover seems very certain to protect you from things, the game gives you wallhacks, surprise takedowns and power struggles amount to nothing more than quick time events, and the child apparently distracts enemies.

    I have a really dusty PS3. Maybe I'll check it out when it's very cheap.
     
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  13. Gurkog Erudite

    Gurkog
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    Can't wait for Project Eternity to feature a quote in its ads, "It isn't completely shit." - rpgcodex.net

    EDIT: I fail at the interwebz
     
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  14. shihonage Subscribe to my OnlyFans Patron

    shihonage
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    Bubbles In Memoria
    I can dry-run this game in my head and save a lot of time and some money. Their writing may be good, but the gameplay engine is clearly same old newgen scripted corridor shit.
     
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  15. sexbad? Arcane Patron

    sexbad?
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    The writing doesn't look promising. It's from the fucks behind Uncharted, and they claimed City of Thieves by David Benioff as an inspiration.
     
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  16. MisterStone Arcane

    MisterStone
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    Let me be honest here. THe video looks good. The setting is fine. The idea of escorting a pubescent girl in a surivalist setting is fine. The gameplay looks fine, the presentation, setting etc. looks fine. As far as I am concerned, there is no reason this couldn't be a good game.

    But you know what? I still think it will suck. I will know for sure that it sucks when it is released and someone releases a youtube video showing zombies giving that little girl a beyond-Rodney-King style beating that goes on for about 45 seconds while her life bar drains at an excruciatingly slow pace until she is finally killed and the player "loses".

    I know it will be like this, because all of these review-site darling AAA console games are like this. They're not "easy", they're hard... hard to lose. THey did it to Ass-assin' Creed and countless other games, and they'll do it to this one. Mark my words.
     
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  17. gromit Arcane

    gromit
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  18. Angthoron Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Angthoron
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    Maybe they literally mean it like moments. So, each game there qualifies to be worth one frame of the film. My, my, that's almost a second's worth we got here.
     
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  19. SCO Arcane In My Safe Space

    SCO
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    As any journo ever used 'the casablanca of gaming'? How about 'the Ran of gaming'?
     
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  20. Pika-Cthulhu Arcane

    Pika-Cthulhu
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    Or be honest and say the RoboCop/Commando of Gaming, referring to the simplistic plot and high bodycount of course.
     
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  21. SCO Arcane In My Safe Space

    SCO
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    Searching in google there are plenty of retards on comments saying 'the casablanca of gaming'

    *shudder*
     
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  22. Nadosh Novice

    Nadosh
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    They just repeat what the retarded game journalists dumbfucks already said. It is this kind of verbal diarrhea that makes me want to set fire to the IGN offices
     
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  23. Spectacle Arcane Patron

    Spectacle
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    Twilight 2000
     
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  24. shihonage Subscribe to my OnlyFans Patron

    shihonage
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    Bubbles In Memoria

    Hey! Robocop was the greatest superhero movie made in the past 30 years.
     
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  25. Pika-Cthulhu Arcane

    Pika-Cthulhu
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    I wasnt sure whether to use Robocop as an example because I really enjoyed it on my last viewing and appreciate it a great deal more as an adult than when I was a snotty kid, its just the whole kneejerk reaction to the gratuitous violence that if garnered at the time had me slip it in there. Mind you, I doubt these new murdersims lauded storytelling will be able to stand up as well in one decade.
     
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