Review The Witcher - Sure is JRPG around here

[Vibalist]

You are not funny, Andyman.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Well, at least I am not danish.

 

[Marquis de Retardot]

Meh! Andyman's stuff is usually entertaining but this "review" just reeks of desperation and a tad too much of SERIOUSNESS!!1!!!!

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Oh noes!

 

[RK47]

*put on Ukrainian shit is shit t-shirt*

 

[Shannow]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Yes, he is.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Hey, if the "glade dansk" thinks I'm boring then it must be true.

By the way, I gladly accept criticism so let me hear it. This one seem to have offended a lot more than the other "reviews" and I'd be interested in hearing why. Is it because I went too far or is it because of the large number of poles on the forum?

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

Felt too over-the-top and forced compared to the last couple

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Too many twelve year-old boy asses?

 

[Vibalist]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Yes, he is.

Nope.

 

[Marquis de Retardot]

Felt too over-the-top and forced compared to the last couple

Exactly!

 

[Andyman Messiah]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Yes, he is.

Nope.

Yeah, well at least I am not danish!

 

[PlanHex]

That's a low blow, man.

And update your LP already, I want more mindfucks from nibelfuckheim.

 

[Vibalist]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Yes, he is.

Nope.

Yeah, well at least I am not danish!

your words they hurt me so.

 

[Fat Dragon]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Butthurt detected.

 

[Vibalist]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Butthurt detected.

Damn right. I love Witcher.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

You are not funny, Andyman.

Yes, he is.

Nope.

Yeah, well at least I am not danish!

your words they hurt me so.

Yeah, well that's the power of danecalling.

And there's nothing wrong with loving The Witcher, but please don't go around agreeing to something like "butthurt detected", man. I had no intention to rape you in the ass with this "review". What you and Geralt do when nobody's looking is nobody's but your business. Leave me out of it. Please.

Hehehe... Leave me "out" of it. Get it? Hehehe...

 

[MasPingon]

 

[Azrael the cat]

Decline of the Andyman

Decline of the Andyman.
Fucking decline I tell ya!

 

[Andyman Messiah]

DECLINE OF EVERYTHING!

 

[Pseudofool]

Personally, I'd say this review is another case of burning down the forest in the interest of warming my cold feet.

Is this just snark?

I'd actually like an honest debate about what makes good writing in videogames. IMHO, too many people confuse prose style or grammatical execution for what makes writing good. Good writing comes from the subtext not from the text itself. Honestly, you cast aside the whole subtext of the game when you apeishly mistake "dark and mature" for being a matter of theme rather than tone.

What The Witcher gets right in spades is tone. It's not that it's just dark, it's complex and authentic. The characters don't simply not suck ass, they're interesting and idiosyncratic, they seem to have inner lives, and their own problems, they have secrets and they lie to others and themselves, and they do so in a way that isn't easily predictable. The world also isn't simply "mature" in the rated-r sense that you use it, and it wasn't also some convoluted world where the characters do dramatically horrible things for no reason. The politics, morality, and culture is conveyed in colorful shades of gray, that are always rooted in the real experiences of characters. All choices are bad, nearly all the characters are sneaky and dishonest, there's no glimmer of hope, and shit just keeps getting worse. Other "mature" games, say like FO, almost always use mechanisms of "hope" to fuel so much of their plot. Thankfully, the Witcher didn't resort to that. That said, I do think the romances and sex was largely bungled--those elements interrupted the immersion, and felt short-haned. The amenesia element was lame as well.

Also, I thought the journal was wonderfully thorough, and shouldn't be ignored in any analysis of the game's writing.

 

[Lesifoere]

What The Witcher gets right in spades is tone. It's not that it's just dark, it's complex and authentic. The characters don't simply not suck ass, they're interesting and idiosyncratic, they seem to have inner lives, and their own problems, they have secrets and they lie to others and themselves, and they do so in a way that isn't easily predictable. The world also isn't simply "mature" in the rated-r sense that you use it, and it wasn't also some convoluted world where the characters do dramatically horrible things for no reason. The politics, morality, and culture is conveyed in colorful shades of gray, that are always rooted in the real experiences of characters. All choices are bad, nearly all the characters are sneaky and dishonest, there's no glimmer of hope, and shit just keeps getting worse. Other "mature" games, say like FO, almost always use mechanisms of "hope" to fuel so much of their plot. Thankfully, the Witcher didn't resort to that. That said, I do think the romances and sex was largely bungled--those elements interrupted the immersion, and felt short-haned. The amenesia element was lame as well.

Ah, but you've articulated why I can forgive TW's protagonist being a badass alpha male of superb fighting abilities and the inclusion of sex cards. In anything else, I'd have purged it with fire for either offense.

 

[Robot]

Re: Text Filler Preference

Text Filler Preference

... Alcohol helped write this ...

So in good 'spirits' may I tangentially commence ...

TANGENT

4too

Can we have the rest now?

 

[Vibalist]

What The Witcher gets right in spades is tone. It's not that it's just dark, it's complex and authentic. The characters don't simply not suck ass, they're interesting and idiosyncratic, they seem to have inner lives, and their own problems, they have secrets and they lie to others and themselves, and they do so in a way that isn't easily predictable. The world also isn't simply "mature" in the rated-r sense that you use it, and it wasn't also some convoluted world where the characters do dramatically horrible things for no reason. The politics, morality, and culture is conveyed in colorful shades of gray, that are always rooted in the real experiences of characters. All choices are bad, nearly all the characters are sneaky and dishonest, there's no glimmer of hope, and shit just keeps getting worse. Other "mature" games, say like FO, almost always use mechanisms of "hope" to fuel so much of their plot. Thankfully, the Witcher didn't resort to that. That said, I do think the romances and sex was largely bungled--those elements interrupted the immersion, and felt short-haned. The amenesia element was lame as well.

Ah, but you've articulated why I can forgive TW's protagonist being a badass alpha male of superb fighting abilities and the inclusion of sex cards. In anything else, I'd have purged it with fire for either offense.

Man, what is seriously cooler than these over the top alpha male killers? This is why I love Geralt (and Riddick).

 

[Pseudofool]

Ah, but you've articulated why I can forgive TW's protagonist being a badass alpha male of superb fighting abilities and the inclusion of sex cards. In anything else, I'd have purged it with fire for either offense.

Agreed.