Unofficial Arcanum Patch (Original Thread)

[BillyOgawa]

Quick question. Is there a reason why lines such as the following lack the final bit of punctuation? There are a lot of missing questions marks in the Dante dialogue when the PC is asking questions.

{5}{I believe I've formulated a plan. Will you join me}{}{5}{lf1 1, qu1000 2}{201}{lf4 1, jo 0 140}

{11}{Where do you hail from}{}{5}{}{20}{}

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

Quick question. Is there a reason why lines such as the following lack the final bit of punctuation? There are a lot of missing questions marks in the Dante dialogue when the PC is asking questions.

{5}{I believe I've formulated a plan. Will you join me}{}{5}{lf1 1, qu1000 2}{201}{lf4 1, jo 0 140}

{11}{Where do you hail from}{}{5}{}{20}{}

Hmm, that's strange. They show up for me. What program are you using? Try using the previously mentioned UltraEdit or Microsoft Word, Notepad may show some symbols incorrectly if your OS doesn't use English as the main language (there are problems with encoding).

 

[BillyOgawa]

Quick question. Is there a reason why lines such as the following lack the final bit of punctuation? There are a lot of missing questions marks in the Dante dialogue when the PC is asking questions.

{5}{I believe I've formulated a plan. Will you join me}{}{5}{lf1 1, qu1000 2}{201}{lf4 1, jo 0 140}

{11}{Where do you hail from}{}{5}{}{20}{}

Hmm, that's strange. They show up for me. What program are you using? Try using the previously mentioned UltraEdit or Microsoft Word, Notepad may show some symbols incorrectly if your OS doesn't use English as the main language (there are problems with encoding).

Weird. I opened the file again and the punctuation appeared. I'm done proofreading. How would you like to receive the report?

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

I'm done proofreading.

There's around 600 lines IIRC. Did you read through them this fast?

How would you like to receive the report?

Just give line numbers and what was wrong and why it must be changed (in case it's not an obvious typo).

For example:
0563Jim.dlg
Line 10: m'lady was spelled mi'lady
Line 11: principals should be spelled principles, because blah-blah-blah
etc

 

[BillyOgawa]

I've been working on it for an hour or so. I've seen a lot of "milady," but I figured that was standard. Is it supposed to be "m'lady" or were you just using that as an example?

First, the Praetor dialogue.

01000praetor.dlg

Line 4: should be "are" instead of "were"

Line 20: "technology driven" should be "technology-driven"

Line 51: should be "And if I just kept the gold bars instead?"

Line 62: should be "If your daughter weren't so terrible to behold, I might."

Line 116: "Goodbye" typo

Line 218, 219: "uhhh" and "bye" Should they be capitalized?

Line 224: "akk" Should it be capitalized?

Line 228: Why is he calling the king "ma'am"? Is he really that dumb? Or is it a mistake?

Line 234, 236: "whooah" and "grumph" Should they be capitalized?

Line 301: should be "are" instead of "were"


And the Dante dialogue.

01013Dante.dlg

Line 31: "praetor" should be capitalized

Line 40: "evoke" should probably be "invoke," though I'm not entirely positive.

Line 94: "to" should be "too"

Line 109: "here" should be "hear" and "Good bye" should be "Goodbye"

Line 123: "Good bye" should be "Goodbye"

Line 140: the line for female PCs changes the "good sir" to "madam" but doesn't change the "I admire a man" part. Maybe change to "I admire a woman"

Line 161: "like" should be "likes"

Line 170: "bottom dwelling" should be "bottom-dwelling"

Line 270: "re extend" should be "reextend" or "re-extend"

Line 330: "your help in enabling to return" should be "your help in enabling me to return"

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

First, the Praetor dialogue.

01000praetor.dlg

Line 4: should be "are" instead of "were"

Line 301: should be "are" instead of "were"

I may be wrong, but I always thought that using the past tense in questions is considered polite. Also, in case anyone's wondering the line in question is "I've come to see if there were any jobs to be had.".

Line 20: "technology driven" should be "technology-driven"

What would be your explanation? Google gives a plenty of both variants.

Line 218, 219: "uhhh" and "bye" Should they be capitalized?

Line 224: "akk" Should it be capitalized?

Line 234, 236: "whooah" and "grumph" Should they be capitalized?

There's a lot of not capitalized dumb responses in the game. Perhaps, they've done so intentionally?

Line 228: Why is he calling the king "ma'am"? Is he really that dumb? Or is it a mistake?

I'd say the dumb PC is getting confused by the King's attire here.

 

[MaskedMan]

I'm done too. Not really much to say, no obvious errors, but I'm going to be really anal and say that line 127 & 150 should end with question marks.

{127}{You are welcome. Might I receive Master bow training, Kietzel.}{}{-4}{tr0 2}{131}{}
{150}{You are welcome. Might I receive Master bow training, Kietzel.}{}{-4}{tr0 2}{131}{}

I'm also a little puzzled by this line:

{175}{Those are my fees, @pcname@. My knowledge has a price upon it. I would think you would be thankful that you are getting it at a discount!}{I am sorry to hear that. I hope that it at least contained some riches to make your journey worthwhile. ...Well then, I normally charge students 5,000 coin for my tutelage. However, as you have completed a rather fruitless hunt for me, I will reduce the amount to 2,000 coin. Have you the funds to begin your training @pcname@?}{}{}{}{}

It's called by the lines 169 and 172, both complaining about the price of training. The only lines that mention visiting the ruins and not finding the bow are 13 and 29, and those call to line 168.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

{175}{Those are my fees, @pcname@. My knowledge has a price upon it. I would think you would be thankful that you are getting it at a discount!}{I am sorry to hear that. I hope that it at least contained some riches to make your journey worthwhile. ...Well then, I normally charge students 5,000 coin for my tutelage. However, as you have completed a rather fruitless hunt for me, I will reduce the amount to 2,000 coin. Have you the funds to begin your training @pcname@?}{}{}{}{}

It's called by the lines 169 and 172, both complaining about the price of training. The only lines that mention visiting the ruins and not finding the bow are 13 and 29, and those call to line 168.

Well, you say 13 (PC line), it calls 168 (NPC line), then you get a chance to say 169 (PC line).

Line 40: "evoke" should probably be "invoke," though I'm not entirely positive.

OK, let's hear other opinions on this then. The line in question is "Many have tried to tell him, but it only serves to evoke his wrath. Believe me, I have tried."

Line 170: "bottom dwelling" should be "bottom-dwelling"

Line 270: "re extend" should be "reextend" or "re-extend"

Perhaps some dictionary references to these and "technology-driven" as well?

Amazing work, btw, BillyOgawa.

 

[BillyOgawa]

I may be wrong, but I always thought that using the past tense in questions is considered polite. Also, in case anyone's wondering the line in question is "I've come to see if there were any jobs to be had.".

Yeah, it seems you're right about that.

About "technology driven" vs "technology-driven," it seems the hyphen is not necessary. I assumed it should be used for clarity. But since "technology" and "madness" don't go together and "driven" and "madness" don't go together, then clarification is unnecessary.

About the dumb character dialogue, I figured non-capitalization was standard but wasn't entirely sure.

About "bottom-dwelling," it's an adjective meaning "Of or relating to fish and marine life that dwell on the bottom of a body of water." According to http://www.wordwebonline.com/en/BOTTOMDWELLING

And the Wiktionary says "reextend" or re-extend" are both appropriate. The re should never be a separate word, in any case. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/reextend

 

[Icarian]

(Shrouded Hills)

This big stump has a blue "stuff" around it.

 

[BillyOgawa]

For "invoke" and "evoke" I looked at this from Bartelby.com

These two both derive from the Latin vocare, “to call,” but the prefixes made these verbs differ both in Latin and in English. Today to evoke is “to call forth, to summon, to elicit,” as in Just the mention of his name evoked smiles from all who knew him. To invoke means “to call upon and hence to appeal to, to resort to, to beg or ask for,” as in She invoked the wrath of the gods upon the traitor and Their argument invoked the First Amendment. Both are Standard in these senses.

And this from a common errors page on the Washington State University website. http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/evoke.html

“Evoke” is usually less purposefully active, more indirect, often used to mean “suggest.” If you invoke the spirit of Picasso, you’re trying to summon his soul up from the grave; but if your paintings evoke the spirit of Picasso, it means their style reminds viewers of that artist’s work.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

Excellent explanations, BillyOgawa!

Also, to both you and MaskedMan. How many KB would you like to receive in the next portion? When will you have time to proofread again? (I believe, it'd be a good idea to state such things after each report from now on.)

(Shrouded Hills)

This big stump has a blue "stuff" around it.

Just a funny shadow, perhaps?

 

[BillyOgawa]

Just to be clear, I'm still not sure about "invoke" and "evoke." The Picasso examples seems to suggest that "invoke" would be the proper word. But the definitions from the Bartelby page, with evoke meaning "to elicit", suggests that "evoke" is indeed the proper word. So, yeah, some other opinions on that would be appreciated.

I can proofread throughout the day. I'm between semesters right now so I have a lot of free time. And the 40 KB load wasn't troublesome at all, so make it 80 this time.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

OK, just for clarification, here's what I've fixed.

Line 51: should be "And if I just kept the gold bars instead?"

Line 62: should be "If your daughter weren't so terrible to behold, I might."

Line 116: "Goodbye" typo

01013Dante.dlg

Line 31: "praetor" should be capitalized

Line 94: "to" should be "too"

Line 109: "here" should be "hear" and "Good bye" should be "Goodbye"

Line 123: "Good bye" should be "Goodbye"

Line 140: the line for female PCs changes the "good sir" to "madam" but doesn't change the "I admire a man" part. Maybe change to "I admire a woman" //Also fixed his->her

Line 161: "like" should be "likes"

Line 170: "bottom dwelling" should be "bottom-dwelling"

Line 270: "re extend" should be "reextend" or "re-extend" //reextend seems to be an alternative spelling according to Wiktionary, so I used re-extend (my Firefox spell checker chooses re-extend as well, btw)

Line 330: "your help in enabling to return" should be "your help in enabling me to return"

I can proofread throughout the day. I'm between semesters right now so I have a lot of free time. And the 40 KB load wasn't troublesome at all, so make it 80 this time.

Stupendous! I'll send you the next part in a few minutes then.

One more thing. Considering "goodbye". I just made a search through all dialogs, and "good bye" appears in 65 dialogs, while "goodbye" appears in 86. I guess, I should replace all instances of "good bye" with "goodbye" for consistency?

 

[BillyOgawa]

One more thing. Considering "goodbye". I just made a search through all dialogs, and "good bye" appears in 65 dialogs, while "goodbye" appears in 86. I guess, I should replace all instances of "good bye" with "goodbye" for consistency?

Definitely. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goodbye

 

[Enigmatic]

I've just finished through the dialogs Drog sent me. Below are the things I picked up.

01006gladys.dlg

I'm unsure on this one...

{39}{That is truly distressing. Oh, well. Good day.}{}{5}{}{0}{re-5 }
{39}{That is truly distressing. Oh well, good day.}{}{5}{}{0}{re-5 }

01012Blackroot_apothacary.dlg

No problems

01034riddler1.dlg

Added spaces. Unsure whether the follwing "w" should be capital or not.

{35}{Correct! Every clock has boneless hands, and we all know that sundials were first made of stone. Ye seem to be a resourceful one... would ye like to continue?}{Correct! Every clock has boneless hands, and we all know that sundials were first made of stone. Ye seem to be a resourceful one... would ye like to continue?}{}{}{}{}

Throughout this dialog there is a mix of “you” and “ye” in regards to the PC... Inconsistent?

20kb bites are enough for me Drog
I don't actually know when I will be able to proof... So small chunks are better for me.

 

[MaskedMan]

Well, you say 13 (PC line), it calls 168 (NPC line), then you get a chance to say 169 (PC line).

I just thought the female line was a little out of place considering the PC lines calling it.

I can probably take an 80 KB chunk too, just upload it and I'll have it ready by tomorrow.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

Thanks for proofreading!

I'm unsure on this one...

{39}{That is truly distressing. Oh, well. Good day.}{}{5}{}{0}{re-5 }
{39}{That is truly distressing. Oh well, good day.}{}{5}{}{0}{re-5 }

Why do you think this change is necessary?

Added spaces. Unsure whether the follwing "w" should be capital or not.

{35}{Correct! Every clock has boneless hands, and we all know that sundials were first made of stone. Ye seem to be a resourceful one... would ye like to continue?}{Correct! Every clock has boneless hands, and we all know that sundials were first made of stone. Ye seem to be a resourceful one... would ye like to continue?}{}{}{}{}

Are spaces necessary in the middle of a sentence? Or do you think, it'd be better to split the sentence in two? Another line in the dialog doesn't have spaces as well: "I've nothing left to say...go west, to the Withered Grove."

Throughout this dialog there is a mix of “you” and “ye” in regards to the PC... Inconsistent?

I'd believe so. Also, BillyOgawa is checking dialogs for other two riddlers, let's hear his opinion as well.

Well, you say 13 (PC line), it calls 168 (NPC line), then you get a chance to say 169 (PC line).

I just thought the female line was a little out of place considering the PC lines calling it.

Damn, I'm blind. The female line is completely wrong!

 

[Enigmatic]

Why do you think this is necessary?

The "Oh, well." Seemed like a broken sentence to me. When you say "Oh well." There is no pause. If there is it seems strange. My opinion.

Are spaces necessary in the middle of a sentence? Or do you think, it'd be better to split the sentence in two? Another line in the dialog doesn't have spaces as well: "I've nothing left to say...go west, to the Withered Grove."

There was?
Oops. I must have missed that one.
I don't think that it's necessary to split the sentence, as the ellipses denote a pause, nothing more.
I've always thought that there had to be a space after elliptical dots. I might be wrong on this as I haven't found anything to back either side up.

 

[BillyOgawa]

Also, BillyOgawa is checking dialogs for other two riddlers, let's hear his opinion as well.

01036riddler3.dlg doesn't use "ye" at all. It's all "you"

01035riddler2.dlg uses "ye" in his introductory lines and also uses "lass" and "laddie" and "yer" so it certainly seems like the "ye" is intentional.

However, he drops the use of "ye" as soon as the riddle game starts. I don't know if it's supposed to be him getting more serious to reflect the seriousness of the game, or what. The dialogues are pretty short and I didn't notice any other errors, so it seems like if it was unintentional it would've been picked up early on by the developers.

 

[BillyOgawa]

Finished. I've been up all night so I'm going to pass out now. I'll probably be back in 12 hours or so for some more, so feel free to send it whenever.

No errors in the 01033Theodoreminequest.dlg, 01035riddler2.dlg, or 01036riddler3.dlg.

In 01039Constable_Owens.dlg

Line 190: "you're" should be "your"

Line 215: "It might've have once" should be "It might've once" or "It might have once"

Line 540: "Yes, of course, I apologize, sir/madam!" (added the comma after apologize)


And in 01041Lukan.dlg. This dialogue is hilarious.

Line 18: "You motley band" should be "Your motley band"

Line 60: "You're vocabularity... God god! Now I'M doing it..." should be "Your vocabularity... Good god! Now I'M doing it..."

Line 64: "Its" should be "It's"

Line 70: "a honest day's wage" should be "an honest day's wage"

Line 113: "How exactly, would one" should be "How exactly would one"

Line 165: "its" should be "it's"

Line 340: add a period after "Me leave"

Line 383: "speak with one of your obvious inferocious demeanor?" should be "speak with one of obvious inferocious demeanor?"

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

And in 01041Lukan.dlg. This dialogue is hilarious.

Line 18: "You motley band" should be "Your motley band"

"You motley band of fools have outstayed your welcome." I believe that's an insult, as in "You idiots have no clue!".

Line 113: "How exactly, would one" should be "How, exactly, would one"

Line 383: "speak with one of your obvious inferocious demeanor?" should be "speak with one of obvious inferocious demeanor?"

Why?

 

[BillyOgawa]

You're right about Line 18. My mistake.

Line 113. Should be changed to "How exactly would one" instead of the other line I suggested. The comma after "exactly" is unnecessary.

Line 383. I was reading it wrong. My apologies.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

Also, you missed a typo in riddler2. "Fare the well" should be "Fare thee well".

 

[BillyOgawa]

Also, you missed a typo in riddler2. "Fare the well" should be "Fare thee well".

I saw that, and I wrote it down, but I forgot to report it. Sorry. =\ Also, you should add hyphens. Edit: Er, nevermind about the hyphens. That refers to a different thing.