Completed Welcome to the Jungle. Let's Play the Planet Alcatraz

[Baron Dupek]

Introduction
If you have any posts in SJW threads, are easily offended or u r kwantustan of closed mind - git out.
Dis gonna be smooth job, rite? RIGHT?

I started that game 3 times, always abandoned after hour. I’m not sure if choice of Medium difficulty was good idea, considering the fact that russian games use different setting and Easy=Normal and Medium=Hard and latest are slighty different levels of bullshit and cheats.

Also - there’s more cutscenes (remember about 5 videos per post limit). Worst thing about them is choppy animation, voiceacting for all characters made by one native UKistan with full nose and lack of consistency between subtitles and NPC speech.

There’s story from manual. I got some Hard to be a God vibe from it. Believe or not but there is game based on that too. Not sure if I can find that game somewhere.

1.Introduction
2. Paperwork
3. I have no idea what I signed for

During the XXII-XXIII centuries, after Null-transporting was discovered, the human race began to spread out
across the Universe. A few hundred livable planets were colonized. One of these planets, 2-4А33713/2,
unofficially named Alcatraz, was colonized for the purpose of mining operations.
Exactly ten years later, the colony was devastated when a three ton fireball hit the main production building. Due
to the persistent danger of further meteorite activity, the surviving personnel of Planet Masters (PM) Company was
immediately evacuated. The investigation into the hazards of the planet lasted several Earth years. In this period,
PM Company lost interest in their demolished property, and abandoned the equipment.
Later, Planet 2-4А33713/2 was passed on to the registry of the Second Imperial Colony Keep (SICK). One Earth
year later, according to established protocol, the Division began to exile to 2-4А33713/2 those felons who had received life sentences.

In 2507, planetary agents received intelligence that the criminal inhabitants of 2-4А33713/2 were building a huge installation that resembled a spaceship – and not for the first time. Inspectors from SODOM Cerberus (Cerberus – Space Objects Defense and Orbital Monitor could not spot anything unusual, and reported the issue to the headquarters. HQ decided to take simple measures to verify the story. – And so they sent five saboteur cadets, disguised as convicts, with the next lot of prisoners – to locate the construction site if it existed. For the

four saboteur cadets this mission would be the final exam for their graduation from the academy. The group was headed by an experienced extended service sergeant. After locating the object, the group was to inform the orbital station of the site’s coordinates, so that an orbital strike could demolish it – and depart from the planet.

However, due to unavoidable circumstances after a hard landing, the sabotage group was split up, and the immediate completion of the mission was no longer possible.

I have one question - why anyone want to escape from this planet? They not only will be hunt and caught/shot down. With such technology to build advanced stuff like space rockets they might consider themselfs a rulers of the planet.

Some info about combat system. Funny that such garbage game is more deep than most indie combat heavy garbage.

Combat system
The game uses various mechanisms for calculation of melee and ranged
combat. The classic "to hit / armor class" scheme is used for calculation of
melee combat, while for ranged combat a realistic 3D model of trajectory
calculation is used.

Melee
Hitting chances in melee depend on the Attack skill of the attacker and the Defense skill of the target. When these
attributes are nearly equal, chances to hit the enemy are about 50%. If your Attack skill is significantly higher than
the target’s Defense skill, your chances of critical hit look better.
If you attack an enemy from behind, or if you are attacked from behind, chances to hit will automatically increase
by 20%. Also note that some types of vests provide only frontal protection. So, as a rule, don’t allow enemies to
attack you from behind. You can increase your attack and defense skills by improving your melee skill.

Shooting
The Planet Alcatraz 3D engine makes it possible to calculate shooting trajectory in a convincing and satisfying way.
The engine is well advanced, and avoids failures common for RPG and tactical games (for example, chance to miss
when shooting point?blank at somebody or successful fire through the backs of your teammates).
The impact calculation includes two main parameters: 1) aiming error due to trembling hands (insufficient skill);
and 2) impact error due to weapon inaccuracy. The hands of a character with 100% shooting skill do not tremble:
the character can miss only because of weapon fault. However, the character with shooting skill of more than
100% knows his weapon so well that he can foresee the deviation of a bullet and compensate for it. Additionally,
such a marksman inflicts critical damage more often.

The character aims before shooting, pointing his weapon at the enemy in three?dimensional space, i.e. pointing
the barrel at the body part you indicated (the torso by default). During the shot, a bullet flies out of the barrel with
some deviation based on the character’s shooting skill and the weapon’s accuracy. Further, the bullet moves
through the space before reaching its target or an obstacle. Missile flight is a dynamic system, which reflects all the
parameters that exist in real life:
• Chance to hit point?blank even with a low shooting skill is very high
• The greater the target distance, the less chance to hit even with a good shooting skill
• If you aimed at one enemy but missed, the bullet can hit the hand or leg of a nearby enemy
• Your chance to hit a crouching enemy is lower than your chance to hit a standing enemy
• Chance to hit a lying enemy is even lower than a crouching one, but the chance to hit his head
increases significantly

• If you shoot when you are under heavy fire, your aim will be negatively affected
Aimed shooting requires more time, but your chances to hit increase depending on character’s Perception. There
are also other ways to increase shooting accuracy – installing an optical scope, and learning some special skills.
In the settings of your character you can toggle a display of the weapon dispersion zone, which takes into account
his current shooting skill and the combat range selected.

Scouting, detecting the enemy
It is hard to underestimate the importance of detecting the enemy early, before the enemy detects you.

Early detection allows you to inflict as much damage as possible to the enemy before the enemy readies
a counterattack. Thus, characters have both scouting and stealth attributes in the game. The higher the character’s
scouting skill, and the lower the enemy’s stealth skill, the larger the detection range will be. Note that you may
increase the stealth skill of your character by switching to stealth move mode. The character cannot run in stealth
mode, and of course your character is stealthier when moving slowly, in crouched or crawling posture.

In the game settings you can toggle a display of your character’s visibility range. This display is divided into two
zones – the first one is the zone restricted by the field of vision (a sector of a large circle), and the second, the zone
of the character’s hearing and tactile senses (a small circle). Your character’s vision changes depending on the time
of the day; people see better during the daytime than in the dark.

Spoiler

I give him decent melee and Imperial weapons skill.
I should get Thieving, but found that one guy from my team is born taffer.
And face customisation is p.limited - no matter what you set - you receive potato.

We land

and are welcomed by locals.

Holy shit, this is Oscar worthy bad acting. And he cried “Die bastard!” while he start combat, to finish him off

Local: Start praying!

I have no idea what these lines mean.
Green circle around us might be range of out current weapon, and either red or blue
is an arc of sight, like these one from Commandos series.

You can strip the bodies from everything.
This one got throwing knives, not much big deal.
I find Attitude an interesting parameter. But truth to be told - it only change
taunts from NPCs, when you walk around them.

Victory dance

Is that my first choice in the game, moment after waking up post crash?
What consequences are await for me?

If not these deviants and savages - this could be heaven.

They're no comrades of mine.
I don't have any choice either.

Are you talking to me?

Oh, you're talking to yourself.

"Guards"? Hmm... wonder what they guard.

We already get firearms. What a surprise, it's useless.
It's one-shot gun, that can be reloaded in Rest mode. Since there are still enemies around
we can't load them again.

Ok...

Our next tast is to collect nearby potatoes. Don't mind if I do.
Thanks game.

While we listen to the taunts some convicts run away.

..but are quickly catched by some tough guy.

Best way to win is to avoid firearms (quickly hide behind palisade) and eat potato faster than they
damage income.

Gee, thanks.

Double incline. Why? there are two torso armors, one work as a t-shirt and one
as a vest. Chain Mail is under leather vest. Now I can save some potatoes.

Even worst grenade will be live savior.
Oh, and that rifle is different, don't need reload at the campfire.
Still not good idea to use since we don't have anything to slow down enemies.

More boots. nobody want to wear something designed for loosers.

I hope there will be mmore hunting.

SHIET

Cool feature but give more troubles when character don't want to get even a scratch from explosion.

One grenade and it's critical!
Marvelous!

Can't be worse.

No quest compass. I stuck.
Give me a week to finish some STALKER mods to solve this problem.

 

[abnaxus]

Pity translation is shit and game is censored.

Also p. sure this is same engine as Farewell to Dragons.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Would play uncensored version but I couldn't translate the orkish dialect from Mordor.

 

[Azira]

What is this?

...

Will watch.

 

[Grimwulf]

Oh, you are in prison. Prepare yourself for 9999 butt-rape jokes. And actual attempt to butt-rape your char.

Fuck, I played it so long ago, but I'm still unable to forget this piece of shit.


May the power of sclerosis cleanse my mind of all PTSDs this fucking game inflicted.

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

Voice acting is hillarious .

I heard about this one many times, I'll be watching your progress MM.

 

[Dreaad]

So many jerks in this game.

 

[eklektyk]

finished this and that other u mentioned ...at least gave me nice falloutish fix for few hours ...

shame that publisher never bothered to translate 2 more [i think it got second and 3rd game in there] into normal language ...

and May Potato Be With U

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Random advice-

Melee is vulnerable to getting stun-locked, something to keep in mind for future.

Getting drunk can heal in a pinch, but the char'll drop weapon and start dancing if idle.

Potato is good.

Combat in this is fine, all else is meh.

You'll get guns soonish, but be careful with them, you'll figure out why sooner or later.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Paperwork
Allright, that Stalker mod was so awful I deleted him and spend time on update. Meanwhile - ZiZi made a bet with Scroo - she will beat The Creed before 2016. Godspeed.

Meanwhile in some shithole on random planet...

Spoiler

Last time we survived capsule drop, kicked out the assess in some tiny tribe, and then
get imprisoned.

Now...how to escape?

Ok?

Fuck off dork

shit

after solid beatup I was kicked into jail with this fella

cool

I play this sci-fi game and what's my first job? Kill the rats. Fucking perfect.

wonder who's that guy? Maybe he's a part of the escape plan?

Good thing the map is available.

Not a problem.
There is not much stuff here, only small medkit.

Another boring task.

While we are at it - let's level up.
We can increase out skill with skill points (more INT = more points) but also
choose perk. With every level up we get point or two, then either choose something weak
or gather more and get better one.
You can see arrows pointing down on the left of red number, that's where
you can show the list with with perks.
Every line have 3 perks, but you can choose only one.
It could be better if I know the skill of other members, so I can avoid wasting points
when I already have dedicated member.

Hoover's secretary got his daily dose of punch.

We can talk with random NPCs, sometimes they have useful information and clarify some
thing that might be confusing. It's prison planet after all, knowing things and
fast adapting will be important.

wat

I wonder if that will be the only one guy in the game, who didn't screw me?

Shh! Guards are here!.

What do I do with it? Barter when there is no money around?

wat

Cool.
I would laugh if they were the only cool guys here.

sup

waitaminute
It's not that guy with the escape plan?

There go the chance for freedom, I guess...

You've got to be kidding me.

killme

What is this, Planetscape Tormenament?

Hope that I don't need to equip it.

Wait, there is more?

fuck off

good

Wow, there is a lot of info in the journal.
Should take more pictures.

ugh

Finally right job for me.

easy

what's so funny?

Remind me of my school. Good thing it's behind me.

Bigger team = better attitude? Logic.

 

[abnaxus]

At least it's better than Wasteland 2.

 

[Grimwulf]

This thread needs more original art of this fucking piece of sh game.

Spoiler

And let's not forget the goddamn sequel.

Spoiler

 

[abnaxus]

Actually, this reminded me of perhaps doing a LP of Farewell to Dragons.

 

[Baron Dupek]

There was a sequel? Why I'm not surprised? Oh, I heard about it existence, years back. Same case like sequel/addon to Evil Island (I finished that one btw).

 

[Grimwulf]

Actually, this reminded me of perhaps doing a LP of Farewell to Dragons.

Made in Belarus, not in Russia. Go for it.

There was a sequel? Why I'm not surprised? Oh, I heard about it existence, years back. Same case like sequel/addon to Evil Island (I finished that one btw).

The sequel is slightly better. That's not saying much, because fucking anything is better than Planet Alcatraz.

The Slavic Atmospehere (tm) is there, though. Potatoes, squatting and butt-rape. Atop of everything - shitty gameplay, annoying music, ton of bugs.

 

[Luka-boy]

 

[abnaxus]

These Slavic games are all so depressing.

 

[Baron Dupek]

I have no idea what I signed for

Spoiler

New part start with some dose of bureaucracy. Not even prison save you from this bullcrap.

Rebels in the mine? I get some Gothic flashbacks.

Leader of group one

and group two

Wonder what hilarity happen this time.

Nice

Life in prison is boring, prison mine? Even more.

Wait a second... it's not the guy from the village, who captured convicts?
Look at his stats, lvl10 and have 225 in Thieving and other stats on high level.

This is how you NOT do this task.

googod the translation

I installed the game to play not read

urm, thanks for compliment?

Wonder where I get ammo. Since there is no money...

cool story man

His possession is near the locomotive and this happen when you come nearby the train.

guarded by wild dog, no threat

Botanist give free 3 skill points every level. Perk that anyone should get.

most of them is basic "+10 to skill X".

Someone is going to die

any questions?

wonder what's that.

ok?

another trap

Damn, they hit hard.

Really

Hard

Fucking SMG is weak like shit. Why he want it? He can do more with spear and machete.

Boss have no time for this crap.

what
another part of the local folklore

I gave him my old clothes
looks like the mushroom that Chucha was talking about.

Wa(l)ter Melon? Tsk.

gee, guy know how to talk. If he ever start talking with proper grammar and vocabulary...

and another

As good as my SMG but with no burst fire. Nice reliability. Depend on your proficiency.

How cool, they have people to clean up that mess. No disappearing bodies, like in
most videogames.

This is the alcohol effect.
Don't wear off. You need to load the game. How nice.

What are they looking at?

No, I don't want to know.

Another promotion.
This time I need to find how people escape from this shithole.
Hmmm....

My first 100 bucks. From someone who didn't backstabbed me.

Investigations around locomotive met some obstacles.

yeah I got the message

Strange that fire range is open in the night but there you have it.
Seems like there is no day/night cycle activity for NPCs.

It's shit.

Oh, a shotguns. Should be better (spoiler: it's not).

This is overkill.

Overkill name for such garbage.

(1) over all.

whatever man

Hnnnnnng. I should pump my Thieving skill at the start.

Let's go back to the investigation.

New cutscene happened. Interesting.

Legion spy? Again? Wait, who...

That's not supposed to happen.

What have I done
WAVE 1 COMPLETED
wait what
WAVE 2 START
ohfuck

more bodies

Good news - it's the last group.

No need to ask twice.

the fuck

Shoot what, dumbass? My tire? hahahahhahahfuck you people I'm outta here

WHAM!

FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

Few miles later

What you mean it's broken?

for getting me out

Oh, so it's not only improve hit chance but also defence? Why more games don't go that way?

 

[abnaxus]

I hope the part with the nazi babes is up next.

 

[Baron Dupek]

I hope the part with the nazi babes is up next.

Nope.
Next one is some shithole village. They got turbans and ushatka hats.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Monkey business.
Previously in the Planet Alcatraz

Spoiler

This locations is straightforward.
Few dead bodies of these, who enjoyed freedom p.short, plus some vermins (some on two legs)
from rat and wolf family.
Their guns are terrible (one shot and reload in Rest more) and I can't find a single
melee weapon. Not even shiv, most common prisoner blade.
Their ammunition and food will be more useful for us.

After cleaning up the map and reaching the exit

First - prison, now slums. Shithole in shithole city.

Lovely.

Holy shit, if average beggar is that edgy then I can't wait for meeting with city dwellers.

Map button is working, but I can't fast travel yet. My task is to find normal clothes
(or I get shot by armed guards) so gate guards let me into the city itself.
Seems like someone need some whacking.

Groovy

Another capsule with useless content. I guess even leper beggar with bare feet
have more respect than average Ivan wearing these eye-catching boots.

wut

Even beggars want to beat the shit out of me.

What happen if you go through the gate in prisoner/guard outfit?

That's it. They don't even give you a chance to defend yourself.

Not sure if go "wtf people" or appreciate variety and devs' sense of humor.

ugh

:burnmyeyes:

Take these pants, don't want to wear them anymore.

you look important

ohshit

Guy in pink jacket is total wimp (how he become boss here?) but his numerous friend
are bigger concern. These 4 here are only beginning of the battle.
Yes, battle. There 2x bigger group outside and I have pitiful pistol, machete and some food.

rapetrain is coming

Plan B - lure them to different hut. Because fighting in their shack, being surrounded
by few of them + incoming replacements for every man that can fit inside, it's plain dumb.

Mission completed.
I have clothes. Now guards won't capture me.

But there are still remains of the thugs to fight with.

What's the problem?

It's fucking junkyard or slums, how can I get decent clothes?
Wait a minute...
Nah, the pink jacket can't be stripped from Hunchback. Why? No idea.
What if I just drop that ragged jacket and go in shirt?

Splendid!
Not that the look improved or else.

Even though he won't help me - free XP.

Plus - nice animation. But it's not fair that NPC's drunk effect wear off in a moment
while it's permanent for Boar.

People with "Masters" name cn upgrade certain weapons and armours for big bucks.
These things we won't see in nearby 20h.

Quick look at the shops.

I can deal with this for some time.

Freely walking women? On prison planet?

woah man

That's a lot of throwing knives for a mere beggar.

Let's find that agent.

wat

Does it get better from here?

Not much.
Ok, let's go hunting then.

World map is avaliable. Cool

Let's sum it up.
After report I received few missions in various locations. Animal hunting is optional
while human encounters must be done to push main plotline forward.
Everytime the new team member is found I receive another bunch of human&animal encounters.
And believe me, these human encounters will be painfully cringe.
I won't comment much, pictures speak by themselves.

So what is to do in the city? Robbing the houses, opening chests and else.
This will be my main income for the 3/4 of the game. But my Thieving skill is too low
to open them all.
Sounds dull but you did the same in Beth games like Skyrim (this is codex after all)
so...

HIS face? HIS hands??
better be borked translation. And btw - that's how the conversation with females looks like.
Except NPCs with names.

She's not impressed with my potatoes.
:potato:

He's right.
Overseers will kick your ass in a second and turn you into dust with their grenades supply.
"No guns" policy might be annoying when you carry loot from mission and weapon take
some space that could be used to bring some goods.

bleh
easy money

o-oh

With this pistol? Pff.
There is reason to call it "Fool's pistol".

BTW. now I can use the house to stash stuff and free space.

I don't have any cash.

WOAH
Better go and do some mission and get these toys asap.

Important item.
You don't need calculation to find that it's WAY cheaper to buy this kit and not
waste money on local shops.
Unless you want jump from location to location - keep it in stash and fix stuff after mission.
It take some time (1h+ with one item).

Let's do some missions then. How about human encounter.

WAIT I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU

Shit, I forgot to talk with Macaroni.

 

[abnaxus]

Is that Chink village from concept art in the game?

 

[Baron Dupek]

I guess. But I didn't noticed any women with rice picker hat.
And don't expect nazis soon. They're called Legionares in this game, have good guns (but keep them in their fortress).
They're avaliable after another one (or two) missions from Blacky (our boss on this planet) and you're forced to do teammates' fetch quest before you can ask Blacky for next mission.
Five human encounters full of awkwardness, cringe and grenades rain.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Big Trouble in Little China

Spoiler

Unfortunately I screwed up and got my ass kicked as fast as eyes blink.
I'll be back.

My encounter with that rogue went smooth but here is another feature - wounds.
Every wound decrease your abilities and you need to find someone, who can heal you for
some spare cash.
To my surprise - hospital is not the only place to cure yourself but also... vendors with
food and drinks.
To cure yourself you need special medkits, Rest, and need special perk (not sure about that).
Better spend 50coins for every wound.

How did he not shit bricks it's beyond me. Thanks game anyway.

Pigcalfs and Pigbulls are harmless but they drop meat, food that restore more than 10HP.
For us, with squishy 68HP, it will be main source of health restoration.

Besides animal hunts you can find corpses or careless folks.
Mostly garbage but best source of medkits and ammunition for now.

None of them have money, though.
We're lucky, he have blue bullets. Blue bullets are AP ammo. Surely will help when
we find enemies with protection.

But where are gerbil or how they look?
They're on the minimap as a blue dots.
And here you can see them in game.
They have few hitpoints and don't attack, but they move nonstop, and Boar need to
stay and launch attack animation (need 1-2 second) and their movement doesn't help.
Wish there could be keys from Marauder: Man of Prey to increase time speed.

Most of the time stripping them is pointless - clothes take a lot of space (especially
torso clothes) and are cheap.

These green things are fugus. Cheap but what else can give me money now?

Now what happen if you pull out the weapon in the city?

Second later - grenade rain fall on my head.
Ouch.

Even in prison there is time for love.
What's in the chest?

Clothes.

A lot of them.

not now

I forgot to give screenshot of modified leather pants.
Since my income is p.low I better upgrade my current gear and see if human
encounters give me better cash.

Next hunting

They have strong kick that's for sure.

what
the
fuck
Baboon with a knive??
:retard:

I don't like where it is going.

Like this

The bad part is that you need to kick some butts before you enter the bar.

They didn't lied, putting mask on lead to fight in a moment.

Li-Ho himsSHIT HE HAVE SWORD

After long Benny Hill chase moments later

It's not katana but still good blade. Will replace our crowbar.

Time to report

Where did you got that helmet?

Where did you got that cap??
What is going on.

Thanks for nothing. They are under your window by the way.

10k or two other slaves in good condition. Bleh.

 

[abnaxus]

These Russian games are always so needlessly wordy.