This act gives us accest to two new areas: The Stadium in which the contest take place and the Forest. The latter is an excellent place to teach our robot physically-related skills. Before doing that we’ll visit Number 46, then go to the town to hear the latest gossip.
Gijin #46: “Too bad about the foot race. Perhaps your legs aren’t strong enough? Practicing with a soccer ball may help, but in order to run fast, you need confidence and determination as well as fast legs. And having high strength may actually help, if you can let it all out in a burst of energy. But the other Gijin are really practicing hard, too, so…”
You heard the man (?), you’ll want high physical stats overall to win this Act. However, there’s another, less obvious goal in this act besides becoming the Sports King. We’ll learn it later on.
Wyrmie uses his super-hearing skills
totally not borrowed from Astroboy to listen the townsfolk’s ramblings.
Girl A: “Hey, do you have any idea what that writing on the tablet near the Great Corlo Tree means?”
Girl B: “Beats me!”
Wyrmie: “…is what they said.”
Guy 1: “What are the events in the sports meet again…?“
Guy 2: “Foot race, shot put, hole-in-one, and the free kick contest.”
Wyrmie: “…is what they said.”
Man: “You know, I haven’t seen that good-for-nothing treasure hunter bum around lately.”
Woman: “He’ll probably turn up soon enough.”
Wyrmie: “I wonder who they’re talking about.”
Since Wyrmie usually finishes these ‘dialogues’ with ‘…is what they said’, I’ll not write these anymore unless he says something different for a change.
Weird guy: “I wonder how Add’s doing lately. Add, you’re the last of the real adventurers…”
Girl: “That shop, it’s always sold out. And what they do have costs too much. It really sucks.”
Boy: “Can’t be helped. This island itself is lacking in resources.”
That reminds me there’s new stuff to buy for this chapter. Let’s see…
Before buying anything, I sell some unnecessary stuff we no longer need, like the Sword, or the Seeds. Then the following items are bought:
Clerk: “Are you planning on participating in the hole-in-one contest? In order to use that well, you need a balanced set of athletic skills.”
Clerk: “I wish I knew how to play it.”
Too bad. It’s not immediately apparent why you do need a trumpet, you’ll see the reason later.
Clerk: “The contents have a bad effect on children, making them become combative and unkind.”
Strangely enough, said Bad Book also increases Wyrmie’s Intelligence. Hmm, a book so enfuriating that it requires the reader to be very cunning to read it. I wonder what kind of book it could be…
Nevermind, I remember now
Anyways, Willy also acquires a treasure box, to start training Wyrmie how to raid dungeons and loot everything that’s not nailed down.
Clerk: “It’s locked, and even if you open it, it will lock again when closed. It’s great for practicing to open locks! But there’s not actually anything in the box.”
Hilariously, Wyrmie’s skill at picking locks is related to his Intelligence score, not Arm Power. So the greatest minds are also the greatest criminals… So true.
Changing the topic, Wyrmie goes to the forest. It’s an excellent place to train for these sports. In fact, this area has many, many things to do. Before doing anything, a quick check of Wyrmie’s stats is required:
Meh, physical stats in general are low except Arm Power. But the problem can be easily solved with physical exercise.
One of the possible exercises to train with is (attempting to) climb the rope. However, Wyrmie is too weak at the moment, but at least whenever you use it, both Leg Power and Arm Power are increased at the same time (in exchange of reducing Intelligence).
The Log Bridge is used to increase Balance, but Wyrmie is too clumsy and cannot reach said bridge at all.
But here’s a solution: A
foot soccer-ball!
Thanks to his superhuman IQ, Wyrmie realizes that yes, it is a soccer ball, something that’s supposed to be kicked around. He instantly does so.
It slightly increases Leg Power. But that’s not good enough, there are better ways to do it. In any case, after kicking the ball for a while, Wyrmie acquires the necessary leg strength to jump on the log bridge…
Then he falls on his ass because his Balance his shit.
At leat his Leg Power is now high enough to climb that rope we saw before. But there’s yet another way to increase Leg Power.
This jump slightly increases your Leg Power, but it doesn’t reduce any other stat while doing so. Good for powergamers. But enough athletics, let’s explore the rest of this forest.
That’s the stone tablet that we heard about back at the town. Let’s see if Wyrmie can read it…
“If you worship Iida, you will be saved. When the time is right, the path between here and the castle will open.” That was easy. On the other hand, this action can fail even with maxed intelligence.
The game says not much about religion in this setting, but one thing is clear:
You do not fuck with the Turtle Rock. Wyrmie can interact with said statue in several ways, however said god is a rather butthurt one and will punish Wyrmie dealing damage at him, if he tries anything that is not praying. So we better not mess with it yet, Wyrmie’s Honesty/Faith is too low, at the moment he doesn’t know how to pray.
These flying thingies are one of the few things that could be called “enemies” in this game. Actually, you don’t have to fight these at all, they fly up and down in a predictable pattern, so you could evade these if you wish (however, if you’re hit Wyrmie will be zapped and lose a bit of health). The other type of enemies are special fights against other creatures in a way similar to Princess Maker games. For now I’ll tell you how to destroy these creatures: You must tell Wyrmie to “use” an offensive item such as a sword, then be sure that when the robot uses it, the animation connects with the enemy. It’s very clunky and awkward, but at least it’s better than indestructible chest-high walls thrown everywhere.
Naturally, being this a jrpg land, Wyrmie has no qualms about
brutally murdering a bunch of innocent creatures defending himself and defeating these monsters (monsters drop money when slain, as expected).
The way is clear. Here there’s a “hidden” way to massively increase Leg Power. It consists on clicking that Rock, Wyrmie will kick it, he’ll be hurt but his Leg Power will increase a lot, you have to keep kicking the rock until it breaks. Normally, the only thing that you would accomplish doing such inane action is a broken leg, but thankfully Wyrmie doesn’t have to worry,
he has metallic joints.
See? It worked. Granted, his Reasoning was severely reduced but still...
Even better, we obtained the Turtle God's Charm. This thing can be “worshipped” to gain a few bonuses to several stats, and more importantly, it can be sold for lots of
jewgold money. But Wyrmie still doesn’t know how to worship. You know, he has received more than enough punishment for today, so he’s told to go back to his house to
continue being horribly exploited rest.
Before doing so, he’s given the Bad Book, I would like you to see its effects.
Quite effective. What about the trumpet?
Wyrmie throws it against the ground, before he “learns” a trumpet makes sound.
I think I overdid it when he was ordered to kick that rock, he has become barely more intelligent than the average Bethesda fantard. Time to fix this issue.
However, his willpower is too low, forcing me to give him a break and rest for real. After that he's told to keep reading until he regains his Cleveian intelligence.
That should be enough. Even better, now he can play the flute.
Note that it doesn’t mean he’s GOOD with the musical instrument, at first he’ll do an horrible sound when trying to use the trumpet. You'll have to be patient and keep trying. However, starting from Feeling 60 he can correctly play the flute. But it’s not enough for me, so Wyrmie keeps practicing until these are his stats:
That should be enough. We could start practicing with the golf club, but before he did, Wyrmie went to the Pier, there’s something interesting to see there.
That’s the 2nd objective of this Act, meet the Turtle god and complete the related quest. But we’ll do that later. For now he’s given a battery to recharge and is told to use the Golf Club. Come on Wymie, surprise me with your superman intellect.
Close enough, you’re supposed to wield it, not worship the golf club.
Better. Hey, what about that turtle god statue? Perhaps something awesome will happen if Wyrmie prays to it, the turtle god doesn’t mind if one of his followers is not human at all.
A rope appeared from nowhere and Wyrmie received massive bonuses. The rope is too long for Wyrmie to climb, he’ll have to keep trying with the other rope until his Arm Power’s score is greater.
That will do. A health battery later, Wyrmie is ready to explore the unknown.
This area is a “secret” one, you’re not supposed to be here until the endgame. But it’s worth enough to go out of your way to enter this place, it has awesome endgame loot to compensate.
Of course, it has traps, giant spikes that will send Wyrmie in a world of pain if he’s hit. Thankfully Wyrmie is fast enough to run past them.
Here it is, the game’s ultimate weapon: Corlo’s Sword, a bigass magic sword so big and heavy that Wyrmie needs all of his physical attributes as high as possible to be correctly used. But I don’t want to use it as a weapon but instead as a gamebreaking training device: It increases your Arm Power, Attack, Defense and Confidence when used but it doesn’t reduce any other stat at all. Probably it belonged to a paladin or one of these spiky haired faggots that are literally everywhere. Whatever, We got our prize, time to return to our lair and test our newest acquisition.
Look at these bonuses, they're glorious!! The only downside is that the mere attempt at waving the sword around consumes both Health and Energy at the same time. But since there’s no time limit in this game you can switch between training with the sword, rest, then keep training until Wyrmie becomes a somewhat schizophrenic, inhumanly strong kid with nearly unlimited intelligence.
A few tries later, here are his new stats. Now he only has to increase his balance and max his Arm Power and he’ll be ready for the Sport Events. But before going to do so, he’s left alone with a treasure box, theoretically he’s wise enough to learn how to pick up the lock by himself…
Nope, he instead tries to eat the treasure box
Wyrmie is introduced to hammer diplomacy to stop him from swallowing the gear (sorry for the bad screenshots, I was totally surprised and I couldn’t capture it fast enough).
Wyrmie goes back to the forest to keep working on these synthetic muscles, until his attributes change…
More than enough, Wyrmie is ready to break all records. Let’s see if the training was effective:
Tinker: “The trophy’s arrived, and I had it placed on the bookshelf upstairs. By the way, we never did tell everyone that Wyrmie is really a Gijin. I wonder if that’s okay?”
of Wyrmie. The only thing left to finish this Act is the Turtle God quest, so Wyrmie proceeds to play the trumpet at the pier, once every day. Soon enough, this happens:
Welcome to the game’s first dungeon. It may not be a soul-crushing, fiendishly difficult challenge as the ones that make Crooked Bee squeal, but it works as a (boring and dull) maze filled with traps. Before making another step, let’s see what is Add doing.
Add: “*cough* W-well, how’s the search going?”
Wyrmie: “Hey, quit goofing off!”
Add: “D-don’t be silly! I’m doing my part! Now, hurry up and continue the search!”
Coward. Anyways, the dungeon’s layout is simple, but not easy: all passages look like this, all of them have stairs going down or up to another level. There isn’t anything resembling a map so you’ll to either draw one, or use the trial-and-error method. Whatever you do, don’t subestimate this dungeon, it can and will kill Wyrmie if you’re careless, and he cannot be brought to repair, so if you screw up, this is what happens:
Our first (of several) game over screens. Of course it never happened, instead Wyrmie explored the dungeon, finding valuable stuff like a Sword and an A-type Battery.
He also destroyed the dungeon’s many inhabitants…
And soon enough he found himself
lost because I was too lazy to draw a map or go to Gamefaqs close to his objective.
At last, Wyrmie founds the deepest part of the dungeon, in which the treasure lies. He was forced to use the A battery as he took too much damage, but that’s okay, you can buy more back at the shop. Have the final video for this update: