Crispy™ What shit mobile games do you play while shitting on toilets?

[Mexi]

Takes me less than 10 minutes to shit unless it's the morning. I don't know why, but even if I'm feeling like I'll need to take a shit, it takes a lot of time for me to take a shit in the morning. It's like my intestines aren't awake yet or something. Anyways, if you are at the point where you need to have entertainment with you during shits, that means you're doing something wrong with your diet. Either not drinking enough water or eating enough fiber, very likely both.

 

[Eirinjas]

Takes me less than 10 minutes to shit unless it's the morning. I don't know why, but even if I'm feeling like I'll need to take a shit, it takes a lot of time for me to take a shit in the morning. It's like my intestines aren't awake yet or something. Anyways, if you are at the point where you need to have entertainment with you during shits, that means you're doing something wrong with your diet. Either not drinking enough water or eating enough fiber, very likely both.

Some meds (*cough* opiates *cough*) can slow down the GI tract. Elvis Presley, who died on the shitter, took so many drugs that during autopsy his intestine was found to be twice the length and diameter of a normal bowel. I read somewhere that he had a seven foot long stinker stuffed in there. In any case, I would check side effects for any meds you might happen to be taking.

 

[Mexi]

Takes me less than 10 minutes to shit unless it's the morning. I don't know why, but even if I'm feeling like I'll need to take a shit, it takes a lot of time for me to take a shit in the morning. It's like my intestines aren't awake yet or something. Anyways, if you are at the point where you need to have entertainment with you during shits, that means you're doing something wrong with your diet. Either not drinking enough water or eating enough fiber, very likely both.

Some meds (*cough* opiates *cough*) can slow down the GI tract. Elvis Presley, who died on the shitter, took so many drugs that during autopsy his intestine was found to be twice the length and diameter of a normal bowel. I read somewhere that he had a seven foot long stinker stuffed in there. In any case, I would check side effects for any meds you might happen to be taking.

I don't take meds. It's just the morning that this happens. Afternoons and roughly 2 hours after waking up are no issue. It's just right when I wake up. For real, it's like my colon is trying to wake up too or something.

 

[Pika-Cthulhu]

Takes me less than 10 minutes to shit unless it's the morning. I don't know why, but even if I'm feeling like I'll need to take a shit, it takes a lot of time for me to take a shit in the morning. It's like my intestines aren't awake yet or something. Anyways, if you are at the point where you need to have entertainment with you during shits, that means you're doing something wrong with your diet. Either not drinking enough water or eating enough fiber, very likely both.

Some meds (*cough* opiates *cough*) can slow down the GI tract. Elvis Presley, who died on the shitter, took so many drugs that during autopsy his intestine was found to be twice the length and diameter of a normal bowel. I read somewhere that he had a seven foot long stinker stuffed in there. In any case, I would check side effects for any meds you might happen to be taking.

I don't take meds. It's just the morning that this happens. Afternoons and roughly 2 hours after waking up are no issue. It's just right when I wake up. For real, it's like my colon is trying to wake up too or something.

Black coffee, 2 glasses of water and then find an activity that has you standing around for a little bit, doing dishes, hanging washing, changing lightbulbs. Usually takes me about 1-2 hours to kickstart things as well. Usually have breakfast first thing when I wake up too, im already fucking over any intermittent fasting with the coffee, might as well get some energy production going.

 

[Ismaul]

I don't take meds. It's just the morning that this happens. Afternoons and roughly 2 hours after waking up are no issue. It's just right when I wake up. For real, it's like my colon is trying to wake up too or something.

You a smoker?

 

[Norfleet]

Never understood how people can take forever to take a shit, I am in and out under 4 minutes with most of that wiping/washing hands.

Be really old and eat only meat. My only source of fiber is eating shredded documents. I only shit like once every other week.

 

[thesecret1]

I don't take meds. It's just the morning that this happens. Afternoons and roughly 2 hours after waking up are no issue. It's just right when I wake up. For real, it's like my colon is trying to wake up too or something.

I experience the same thing. Digestive tract is working much slower when asleep, so it might take it a while to get back into full readiness

 

[Kz3r0]

That is not what I'm disputing, au contraire. Reductio ad absurdum, you know it? It's precisely because squatting is the natural way to shit and involves an unsupported rectum that I disbelieve that sitting on the toilet for long is bad for your health (aside from the fact that sitting for long is bad). Or am I wrong and there's actual reasons to believe what rusty says?

 

[Swigen]

What a stupid fucking product. Why would you want to take a faster shit anyway? It’s a great time for introspection and outfitting toons in Icewind Dale, why the hell would you want to rush that? Like inventing a product that helps you pre-maturely ejaculate.


“I just can not wait to rush through the best part of the day with my new Squatty Potty!”

 

[Ismaul]

“I just can not wait to rush through the best part of the day with my new Squatty Potty!”

Hey if that's the best part of your day, you can recreate the feeling by shoving dildoes up your ass and pushing them out.

 

[DemonKing]

Usually Hearthstone as it's not twitchy and I actually find it quite relaxing which is good for my movements.

 

[moleman]

Constipation II: The Quest for Relief

 

[Nutmeg]

I play emulated srpgs. Pretty much finished Gungnir (must play tbh) on the toilet at work lol.

 

[Apostle Hand]

when I was a kid, I used to read comics while kneeling before bed, holding up my shit. it gave me some sensation and maximized experience of reading comics.
later on I spent lot of time in toilet eating spaghetti and drinking coffe.
now I just go to shit quickly and don't look back.

 

[JarlFrank]

I read the back of the shampoo bottles.

 

[Kaethar]

when I was a kid, I used to read comics while kneeling before bed, holding up my shit. it gave me some sensation and maximized experience of reading comics.
later on I spent lot of time in toilet eating spaghetti and drinking coffe.
now I just go to shit quickly and don't look back.

haha yeah dude totally







the fuck?

 

[pakoito]

Dominion for Android: https://github.com/mehtank/androminion

I've tried others, this one has been with me for almost a decade.

 

[anvi]

I only enjoy Carmageddon so far. Really nice port despite shitty touch controls.



Recommend me some mobile turds to play on toilets.

On iPhone I had one I really liked called Squids that was a really great game, way better than typical shitty mobile standard games. Since switching to Android, I miss that game. The one I play now is called Pocket Tanks which I have played for years. It is not an action game, just 2 tanks on a mountain, turn based, and you choose an angle to shoot a weapon at the enemy tank.

My games of choice though are tower defense games, but the good ones are impossible to find now that lots of shitty devs are making shitty ones. The best I played is probably Tower Madness and a sequel. When I used to have an iPhone there were a few exceptional ones but I forgot what they are called now. I prefer ones where you build a maze out of towers, not just lining a path. Kid shit.

Lastly there is The Quest which is good for vacations or whatever, but I don't play it at toilet time because it is the sort of game you have to remember where you are up to and preferably play in long sessions. I used to play Scrabble but I got bored of it.

 

[anvi]

I found the ones I forgot the names of, GeoDefense, and GeoDefense Swarm. They were pretty good Tower Defense games. There was also one called The Creeps! which was decent. But I prefer Tower Madness to all of those combined. Also the best TD game I ever played is called Dungeon Warface but it is so good you should play it on PC and not a phone.

 

[PrettyDeadman]

If you spend enough time to do gaming on a shitter you should visit a proctologist/gastroenterologist, not search for more games to play.

 

[MadMaxHellfire]

having barely escaped ass cancer left my intestines severely damaged, taking a crap is a pain. i tried playing some of those stupid ass (pun intended) mobile games but i just can't have enough focus and eye-hand coordination for any of them. back to reading mickey mouse, as i've always done in the last 35 years.

 

[Jimmious]

If you are taking shits long enough to play games, you should probably improve your diet.

 

[Urthor]

I'm afraid to play games on my phone. I'm pretty sure if I touch literally one thing on the Apple/Google store the microtransactions will instantly find a direct line to my bank account my credit card will decline the next time I use it

 

[Adidas-Clichèd Cringe]

KoDP is the only game I've ever played on mobile, but what the hell kind of a diet you're on that taking a shit takes long enough to play games? Just shit, clean your ass, flush and get out.

 

[Forest Dweller]

LIFESTYLE
7 Things To Know Before Taking Your First Shit
10/02/18 9:46am
SEE MORE: SHIT
13

Shitting for the first time can be daunting, but you don’t have to go in cold. Here are seven things to know before taking your first shit.

1. Being in the bathroom is a good start, but you’ll need to actually get on the toilet before you can shit
It’s super exciting to make it inside the bathroom, but just because you’re in there doesn’t mean you can start shitting. It’s a classic rookie mistake to shit in the tub or the sink, or to shit your pants while standing in front of the toilet, so keep in mind that there’s only one place in the bathroom where you can shit, and it’s directly into the toilet bowl.

2. Shitting can last up to 16 hours
There’s no telling how long your shit will last, but if it’s been several hours and you’re not done, don’t freak out! It’s not unusual for a shit to last 16 hours. Just as a precaution, give your boss a heads-up that you’re shitting and might be unable to make it into the office until you’re done.

3. You have to cut a hole in your pants so the shit can get out
You know how pants keep your shit in? Yeah, it’s the worst. Luckily, there’s an easy fix for that: Simply cut a hole in the bottom of your pants so that your shit can get out! It’s a good idea to keep clothing shears in your bathroom cabinet so you’re ready whenever nature calls.

4. Humming an awesome song while you shit makes shitting more fun
Humming a rocking song is sure to take your shit to the next level. The song we’re currently humming while we shit? Ace Frehley’s “New York Groove”!

5. CAUTION: Shitting and pissing at the same time will result in immediate death
Ugh, we know, we know. This would definitely be awesome to do, but unfortunately it creates a massive amount of pressure that first explodes your heart and then rockets you through the bathroom roof. Not even the most experienced shitters dare to attempt this.

6. It costs $3.00 to shit
Three bucks (cash only) will be collected at the end of every shit, so you should make sure you’ve got the bills handy in order to avoid a late fee. However, the good news is that it’s a flat rate, so no matter how much you shit out, it’s only going to be $3, and hallelujah, that’s a bargain if we’ve ever seen one!

7. Your first shit is by far the easiest
Every subsequent shit you take will become exponentially more challenging, demanding increasingly more stamina and bravery as time goes on and shits go by. But fear not! Your body will only give you the shits you can handle, even if they push you to your absolute physical, mental, and spiritual limits.

Happy shitting!