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WIZARDRY 1: EXTREME EDITION

boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
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FEATURING
-NO RELOADS, NO SAVESTATES EVER GUARANTEED
-NO BACKUP SAVES
-NO EXPERIENCE PAST THE 4th FLOOR!!!


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I plan on going all the way to the bottom of this thing but I can't do it alone. Lend me your courage codex.


Grab your balls and sign up.

NAME:
CLASS - ADVANCED CLASS IF ANY
EXTREME TEAM or SAVIOR SQUAD (pick one)
make a /roll. This will be the number of times I reroll your bonus points.

Edit:

It seems that no one is replying. Maybe this is the codex's way of saying they have no interest in such an LP, but I am a persistent man. Some might even say that I am an autistic man.

So to the lucky few drafted into the greatest expedition we will ever see in our lives, I salute you and your sacrifice in advance, this is all possible because of you. You can still sign up for the Savior Squad, though, and it would be good if at least a few did. There may be many opportunities for field promotions to the EXTREME TEAM if you catch my meaning.

EXTREME TEAM:
1. boot
2. Corporate Jew Master
3. Cassidy
4. Kalin
5. RK-47
6. The Decline
7. Crooked Bee
8. Comte

SAVIOR SQUAD:
1. Wayward Son
2. Grimwulf
3. Viata
4. Mustawd

1: Of men (and womyn)
2: Jihad
3: rd floor
4: training day
5: death in the dungeon
6: High-T
7: *discards fedora*
8: calm before a storm
9: end
 
Last edited:

Wayward Son

Fails to keep valuable team members alive
Joined
Aug 23, 2015
Messages
1,866,294
Location
Anytown, USA
Wayward Son
Thief-Ninja or Mage-Samurai your choice.
Savior Squad
Sorry for not noticing earlier, was playing BG for many hours. I have definite interest in this and would like to see it taken to the end.
 

boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
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There is nothing more essential to the spirit of man than war. In war men become -
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Sounds like low-T beta babbling to me.
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Get your ass in the maze.
PRESENTING

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Before we can start our game, we must create men.

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The men are quickly created. Most get good rolls.

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They are assembled into an elite squad known from this point on as the EXTREME TEAM.

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After arming themselves with basic equipment, the EXTREME TEAM enters the maze for the first time.

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It's very dark in here and nobody feels very EXTREME at all. Except for RK-47, who does not feel anything anymore since playing Dragon Age 3. He crawls along the dark slippery floor completely naked, like a 30$ ladyboy.

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They stand facing a door. The start of a new legend, a majestic fairy tale!

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With unrestrained ferocity and pure aggression, they fight the monsters.

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Victorious, they emerges from the battle with new wealth and experience.

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We fight a few more monsters before heading back up to the surface.

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RK-47 was starting to get the men a little flustered, so he's forced to buy some clothes to avert potential infighting. Kalin buys something to wear as well, and then the team heads back down into the dungeon.

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Corporate Jew Master nearly has his T levels dropped permanently when some Kobolds ambush us. We are forced to flee from this battle and retreat to the surface, having learned a valuable lesson: EXTREME can be received as easily as it is given.

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RK-47 seduces Grimwulf using ladyboy charms, and the spirit of popamole residing in RK-47's corrupted mind enters the hearty slav. In that moment Grimwulf disappeared and was replaced by Decline.

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We establish a steady rhythm of exploring the first few rooms of the dungeon before retreating to the surface. We gain in power and wealth. I even buy a helmet!

Then, the EXTREME TEAM experiences it's first setback.

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Decline get's paralyzed after just looking at a chest. We do find a potion in there, though, and Kalin says that it's a Neutralizing Potion.

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After buying that helmet we're a bit low on gold. The decision is made to leave Decline on the surface and take a new Thief along until we can raise a bit more money.

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Wayward is born.

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He does a fine job of unlocking chests. Nothing blows up in our face, and with Wayward we are able to make a few good expeditions and raise more than enough money to fix Decline.

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Everyone is tired of dungeon crawling now and wants to sleep.

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boot dreams of a gud womyn who stays at home in her underwear making LPs of Wizardry.

And we're back! Seriously people, never get yourselves sociable or employed. Just sit home in your underwear all day and write LPs. The way I do.

... Seriously peeps. Fuck you for making me do LPs in my underwear! You have no heart, people. You have no soul. I wouldn't listen if you sang the blues. I swear, people. You're a sinful people. And for your sins, I present to you the worst god-damned update you've ever seen. And then it's gonna be the end, my friend.
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Everyone else says they had the same dream.

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What could it mean?

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The crew asks the temple people but they don't know nothin' bout women. They also remember to cure Decline.

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With our EXTREME THIEF back in action, we tell Wayward to take a hike. Nobody wants no god damn hobbit in the line-up. He takes it very well, and pledges his loyalty to the EXTREME TEAM, saying if we are ever in need that he will assemble a squad of SAVIORS and come to our aid.

We tell him that's cool and let him keep the equipment we gave him. Corporate Jew Master said that we didn't need beta cucks like him to rescue us, but that's just the way he is and I could tell he appreciated the gesture.

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Decline says he didn't dream about the gud womyn, but I think he is lying.

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It has been an uneventful start to our life of adventure. I am kind of glad that we have all lived this long, but I was hoping that it would be a bit more... EXTREME.
 

Wayward Son

Fails to keep valuable team members alive
Joined
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Messages
1,866,294
Location
Anytown, USA
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With our EXTREME THIEF back in action, we tell Wayward to take a hike. Nobody wants no god damn hobbit in the line-up. He takes it very well, and pledges his loyalty to the EXTREME TEAM, saying if we are ever in need that he will assemble a squad of SAVIORS and come to our aid.
And then he went home and cried, cuddling a picture of gud womyns to his chest, screaming "Why!?"
 

Crooked Bee

(no longer) a wide-wandering bee
Patron
Joined
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Messages
15,048
Location
In quarantine
Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 BattleTech Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
Cool. Since you're playing ironman and will probably lose some party members, I'm signing up as a back-up character.

Bee wants to be a Ninja or a Lord, depending on how you build your party. She starts out as a Fighter. I am going to roll like you requested, but seriously, no one ever plays with less than 20 bonus points. :powergaming:
 

Mustawd

Guest
Mustawd will sign up for this LP. He starts out as a fighter, but wants to be a samurai.


:negative:
 

Wayward Son

Fails to keep valuable team members alive
Joined
Aug 23, 2015
Messages
1,866,294
Location
Anytown, USA
Cool. Since you're playing ironman and will probably lose some party members, I'm signing up as a back-up character.

Bee wants to be a Ninja or a Lord, depending on how you build your party. She starts out as a Fighter. I am going to roll like you requested, but seriously, no one ever plays with less than 20 bonus points. :powergaming:
Do you need backup party for Wiz 2?
 

Comte

Guest
Abandoned on Page 3.

If somebody dies can I join your party, I want to be an Elven Beta cuck mage.
 

boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
If you want extreme play the DOS version instead, where stats at level up go down 1/3 of the time.

Yes, the DOS version would be more EXTREME. But SNES is prettier, and EXTREME is inherent to any version of Wizardry 1, there will be more than enough to go around.

I am going to roll like you requested, but seriously, no one ever plays with less than 20 bonus points. :powergaming:

The roll is just the max number of times I reroll for each character. Wayward never rolled so he's stuck with I think 4 bonus points, which was his character's initial roll. :troll: choices and consequences Wayward. It's still possible to get more than 20 bonus points, just very unlikely.
 

Wayward Son

Fails to keep valuable team members alive
Joined
Aug 23, 2015
Messages
1,866,294
Location
Anytown, USA
If you want extreme play the DOS version instead, where stats at level up go down 1/3 of the time.

Yes, the DOS version would be more EXTREME. But SNES is prettier, and EXTREME is inherent to any version of Wizardry 1, there will be more than enough to go around.

I am going to roll like you requested, but seriously, no one ever plays with less than 20 bonus points. :powergaming:

The roll is just the max number of times I reroll for each character. Wayward never rolled so he's stuck with I think 4 bonus points, which was his character's initial roll. :troll: choices and consequences Wayward. It's still possible to get more than 20 bonus points, just very unlikely.
That's just how I play. If I can use the class I want, I keep the roll.
EDIT: Besides, that's more EXTREME!!!!
 

boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
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It was to be a scouting expedition, one of the first.

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Decline had been disabled by a trap again so they had Wayward tagging along, but aside from that the crew was in fine form.

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Actually, the power of the EXTREME TEAM had grown immensely.

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With Corporate Jew Master's new ability to conjure light, they had begun explore the maze, mapping it's layout as they went. Life takers, tranny chasers, men of courage and sky high T levels.

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Nothing could stop them!

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...Or so they thought...

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boot lead the charge into the enemy, as he always had. But this would be the EXTREME LEADER's last battle.

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(Highwayman grabs boot's collar)
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UNHAND ME!! I AM A KNIGHT OF----

(Highwayman begins to tighten his grip on boot's collar)

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*The world grows dark. boot tries to call for help but his larynx has been crushed. This is the end.*

*boot spits his blood onto the highwayman's face, his last EXTREME act of courage and defiance.*

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(the highwayman becomes enraged) ALLAHU AKBAR!!!

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NOOOOOO!!!!!


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The EXTREME TEAM joins battle with great vengeance, but boot is not there to witness their awesome display of wrath. He travels to a better place, back where he came from...

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Corporate Jew Master assumes command! NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER.
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It's over as quickly as it started.

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Wayward, still in shock from the loss of the EXTREME LEADER, triggers a poison trap. Kalin gives him the team's only antidote to keep him from dying too. We've seen enough of it for one day.

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Disoriented and confused, they make their way to the surface, dragging along boot's hardened and muscular body. They force Wayward to carry the severed head.

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The rabbi ask 1000 shekels for the revival of boot. The EXTREME TEAM pays without hesitation, and wait with held breath.

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The EXTREME LEADER rejoins the world of the living!

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He is in the same condition as before he died but looks a bit older. He begins to tell the team of what he saw on the other side, visions of the future! That they would successfully traverse the 1st floor, collecting random crap, but should not throw it out even if Kalin says they should. That as long as they brought Potions of Neutralization they would be able to conquer the 2nd floor as well, and collect more crap. But on the 3rd floor they were destined to fail. These were boot's words upon rejoining the living.

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As he said the EXTREME TEAM began finding shit littered all across the dungeon, like keys that fit no doors.

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From time to time they would encounter Jihadi Highwaymen, and they destroyed them with EXTREME vengeance. NEVER FORGIVE, NEVER FORGET.

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Eventually, the team's magic ladyboy informs them that they have covered nearly all of the 1st floor, that now was the time to descend further.

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The EXTREME TEAM parts ways with Wayward. They cannot bring the little hobbit deeper into the maze. boot says that there is a seed of EXTREME even in one as small as him, and one day he will be his own hero, or something like that.

Then they unfreeze Decline, who's pissed off they forgot about him for so long. (Decline was on the verge of leveling before he was stunned)

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Before the EXTREME TEAM departs for parts unknown, Wayward informs them that they have begun receiving fan mail. Adventurers from across many lands seek to become EXTREME, sending in their character sheets for approval. boot loses his head and goes insane. He was not built for success, this shit was too much for him.

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Didn't they know what a toll it took to be this EXTREME?!? The danger to a men's soul ?!?!?!!
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Did they think it would be easy!?!?!

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In his rage boot had forgotten to buy the Potions of Neutralization. The EXTREME TEAM was in grave peril!
 

boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
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But the creatures of the 2nd floor are mild mannered and allow the crew to go back to the surface and buy their potions.

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We only have enough for 2. Kalin holds onto them.

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Then we resume our travels on the 2nd floor of the dungeon.

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We find random crap all over, just like was foretold.

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Kalin says this shit is useless but the EXTREME TEAM knows better than to listen to him, so they keep it.

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The monsters here are not noticeably tougher than the ones on the first floor. They cast magics but the team does not fear magic. The only thing they fear is a good collar grab.

So, the dungeoneering is not any more hazardous than it was on the first floor.

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Incredibly, Corporate Jew Master learns an entire set of spells upon resting. We will be able to travel with a light source indefinitely now, as well as heal our own stunned companions. He claims that it is due to his NOFAP experience.

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The stress of success ruins boot's quality of sleep and he begins to lose his gainz. But the adventuring continues.

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And eventually, RK-47 says the familiar words, that we have explored this floor enough.

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And they descend lower into the maze...

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Every direction looks the same, and it is much darker here.

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Bunch a' crap written on the floor.

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And the monsters here inflict poison and other strange effects.

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Cassidy, pioneer in all things EXTREME, fights with great courage against these new foes.

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RK-47 administers one of the potions to Cassidy, saving his life.

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It is clear we cannot survive for long.

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They finish off the Coyotes and begin to make for the surface. It is too dangerous to stay for more battles.

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They have mostly exhausted their healing spells, but the team changes their mind and decides to press on deeper into the maze.

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We get into a fight with these creatures. They look tough.

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So RK-47 smashes the AWSOMEBUTTON and the crew finishes them off.

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Decline is paralyzed by a trap. This guy has terrible luck, I am certain he will get us all killed one day. Corporate Jew Master can fix him but now we're really pushing the limits of the parties recovery abilities.

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We find a lot of money in the chest, as well as a scroll.

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The team retreats with their lives. The fear of being overwhelmed by collar grabbing monsters and status effects was very real.

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Maybe, they just aren't EXTREME enough... The team experiences a crisis of faith. Were there things in this world more EXTREME than them?

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Kalin sleeps and has gud dreams despite it all.

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He finally learns how to heal, meaning we should be able to last longer on the third floor.

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He identifies the scroll as a Scroll of Fire, but nobody knows what it is supposed to do.

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\
We make it down to the 3rd floor with no problems.

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RK-47 conjures a map, but it is not very helpful.

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We strike out in a random direction and face our first encounter of the new expedition.

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:rage:

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:fuuyeah:

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The team is forced to leave the chest alone because RK-47 might have been killed if the thing went off, and with Decline's skill it would have.

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Recovering from the encounter took all of the team's healing powers. Those Dragonflies damaged the whole party with their breaths. The EXTREME TEAM is forced to turn around and go home, feeling a disturbing lack of EXTREMENESS. They didn't last more than one encounter on the 3rd floor. What could this mean?

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Why was this happening to them?

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They all slept a dreamless sleep. They had not been visited by the gud womyn for many days now. It was truly a dark time.

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boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
training-day.jpg

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The EXTREME TEAM begins training new recruits, just in case something happens on their next expedition.

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The team's spellcasters accompany them. Wayward goes along, too. So they are not in any great danger.

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With the aid of the veteran spellcasters, Grimwulf and Bee are able to spend long hours in the field and grow in strength quickly.

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Training the new members also allows the EXTREME spellcasters to develop themselves.

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Corporate Jew Master learns one of the most useful spells so far, Maporfic, which allows the team to get a 2AC bonus for the entire length of an expedition.

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RK-47 also learns some new magics, but they're not really useful. A high rank AC penalty spell is the only one I remember.

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The team continues training Bee and Grimwulf. They're waiting for Kalin to learn something but it's taking forever. I never took a Bishop along with the party, didn't realize they leveled this slow. Also, the only magics Kalin learns are low rank and not very useful. I guess we will have to be patient with him.

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The EXTREME TEAM + trainees come across the most difficult fight yet.

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The men-in-chain are actually the Jihadi's that killed boot in disguise, and the Mage likes to cast Katino. We destroy them with EXTREME prejudice to avoid any deaths.

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Eventually Kalin reaches the next level. No new spells, a damn waste of time. The training period is finally over.

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boot, Cassidy, and Decline rejoin their EXTREME companions. The trainees are told that they are not EXTREME enough to join the team, but thanks for trying out. They can join Wayward's SAVIOR SQUAD instead which is not EXTREME really, but still very essential to their mission.

Grimwulf said he didn't want to join anyway, and there is no alcohol in dungeons so this is better.

Bee declined, and callously says she will step over boot's corpse and take her spot on the team one day. Not with those stats Ms. Bee. Not with those stats.

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boot buys some better armor using some of the money from the trainees, and united once more, the EXTREME TEAM enters the dungeon to take on the 3rd floor.

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Corporate Jew Master buffs the party up and they take off.

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But they're stopped in their tracks after the first encounter, again. Not enough Potions of Neutralization.

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Kalin pools the money together and they buy as many as they can. NO EXCUSES NOW.

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NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER.

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I begin to figure out the correct way to fight these tougher enemies. Instead of conserving our spells, we just hit them with everything we have.

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With this more EXTREME battle style, we are able to destroy the enemies of the 3rd floor easily.

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And the rewards are worth the effort.

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We begin exploring this floor in earnest. I know some of these tiles are traps so I avoid stepping on them, but it makes moving around the floor difficult as they are situated at each intersection.

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We are forced to travel through siderooms filled with monsters. But we move confidently nevertheless, and win much loot and experience.

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The return home is a happy one.
 
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Wayward Son

Fails to keep valuable team members alive
Joined
Aug 23, 2015
Messages
1,866,294
Location
Anytown, USA
I know why Decline always fails at disarming, his agility is high enough, but he's too low on luck, the other prime requisite of a thief.
 

boot

Prophet
Joined
Dec 20, 2015
Messages
1,016
Location
Bartow, FL
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The EXTREME TEAM has learned how to fight the enemies of the third floor. They make daring raids through all of the dungeon, their old fear forgotten.

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After exploring just about all the dungeon that they can through side passages, they start moving over the obviously trapped intersections.

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We have just stepped over a Pit Trap here. The trap went off with the message and everything, but the team didn't take any damage, was very weird.

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Immediately upon crossing the trap we get an encounter with 7 Ninja. Retreat isn't an option. Risk being collar grabbed, or run and possibly die to a trap. The EXTREME TEAM's path was clear.

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Kalin gets the first move, and manages to put every single Ninja to sleep.

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RK-47 follows up with EXTREME mass magic attacks, and the few survivors are killed before they can move even once.

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:hero:

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The dungeon crawling has really picked up on the third floor. The enemies are almost all very lethal, or at least resource draining, and the maze itself is difficult to traverse. It is tense and constantly hostile, or as we like to say...

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EXTREME. Why would we want to leave?

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But all men must sleep, so we power through a few more fights before starting for the surface.

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Corporate Jew Master and RK-47 both level up. Corporate Jew Master learns a not very useful spell, and RK-47 doesn't learn anything at all.

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Before leaving for more monster slaying, Corporate Jew Master buys some Body Armor, and Cassidy buys Plate Mail.

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Samurai are nearly as dangerous as the Ninja. Elite collar grabbers and spell casters, we spare no effort in destroying them.

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After the battle we find a sword. Kalin identifies it as an Epee of Dismay. I looked up the items list a while ago so I know that this is a cursed item. So no cursed item shenanigans happen.

We begin to find cursed items pretty frequently after this. It's not so bad because we're able to sell them for a good amount of money.

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We face off against Killer Wolves here, never seen them before.

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They prove to be very dangerous. Hard to land a hit on them and unwilling to run from battle, we resort to blowing them up.

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All of Japan has risen up to try and stop us.

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The EXTREME TEAM lets them know what they think of ANIME :yeah:

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After having a gud time on the 3rd floor, a men deserves gud dreams.

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They dream of an uncucked Europe, and all is well in them.

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No one could imagine the horrors that awaited them.

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Well, actually this expedition was successful too. We wreck everything we come across.

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The EXTREME TEAM only goes back because Corporate Jew Master was stunned by these things and he has to be fixed up at the temple.

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The next expedition starts off well, too. These foes are now very familiar to the team, and they are just finishing off mapping the floor.

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They were nearly finished.

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:bunkertime:
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:baka:
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:x
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:rage::rage:
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NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER!!! FOR KALIN FOR DECLINE FOR RK-47!!!!!---- this is an impossible battle, even for them.

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The surviving EXTREME TEAM members run like cowards, a disgrace they will never forget.

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Corporate Jew Master heals them as well as he can, and they carry the corpses back home in silence.
 
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