Let's succeed a Dwarf Fortress! [Krash-ing for Fun!]

Because of DF grimdarkness my mind always associate imagery from the descriptions in game with something more or less like Warhammer. So I'll go kingcomrade and use images from obvious source in the opening of siege-centered updates.

Except warhammer doesn't have ritualistic cannibal elves as default rather than as the "dark" variant that will btich about buying things stored in wooden barrels but not about buying skull thrones, therefore DF beats it in grimdark.

Well it's fluff discussion, but in Bay12 someone explained that "Orc" is sort of LOTR copyright and that before D&D Goblin and Orc had the same meaning, so if you'll excuse me I'll feel free to imagine the goblins as nasty Orks doing a WAAAGH!

======================

KING OF KINGS

From the Holy Scriptures of the Master Builder, Grand Revolutionary and Queen of Queens of Anusblaze and of all Dwarves, Avus Lirzas

The First Great Siege of 257



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! That was their scream, as the Trickster minions charged from the east. And, I suppose I'd run out of appropriate unique quotes from the Master Builder for every situation that happens during this enlightened year. All were ordered to run back inside and meet at the Great Hall, while all forces were mobilized.Sealing the fortress and waiting for the foes to leave would delay too much the great works.



Fortunately, everybody managed to get inside in time.



They launch their trolls at the front, as they are the toughest these greenskins can muster. The good news is that hopefully the traps will emaciate the trolls so much they will be easily slaughtered as they get inside.



The Red Armors hold tightly on their weapons, while the crossbowdwarves stand next to the fortifications, ready to fire. The enemy continues advancing, and slowly it becomes obvious that after the previous failures, they have apparently put all they can muster at once. This will be a very difficult challenge, a trial from the Master Builder we must overcome.



The trolls are smashed by multiple stone-fall traps as they charged to meet the Red Armors. Only one of them however succumbs to pain. The others simply become even more enraged. May the Builder grant us strength for this decisive battle, where the heathens of the Trickster have chosen to make a big gambit.





For while the enemy is legion, killing one of their unholy leaders who came in to lead this offensive would greatly help Anusblaze, and possibly ensure no more sieges for a while long enough for the great works to be finished, because leaderless, the orks would end busying themselves into infighting for a long time. The Master Builder shall grant us this victory regardless of the fact our brave warriors are greatly outnumbered.



What the hell? I need to teach some of them on how to not be idiots, because for reasons beyond my understanding, some of the crossbowdwarves didn't bring any bolts with them before positioning behind the fortifications. More one fact conspiring against the glory. Of course, the great works are idiot-proof, differently from these simpletons I need to endure in making sure Anusblaze survives.



Oh damn, I almost forgot along the tension that there was one extra step to ensure the waterwheel wouldn't become a backdoor. That is the bad news. The good news is that such path is longer, and thus the fact they are heading through it is buying some time. I can hear the sounds of battle from the great hall, as I keep my hammer lowered, but ready in case the worst comes. Thus I prayed for the Builder:

I am a Wallbuilder. Let my walls endure, from season to season, year to year, and age to age. Let my walls stand, while families toil, armies march, and empires fall. I am a Wallbuilder, and my walls will stand always as a shield against evil. This I pray, that will the Master Builder grant.






I know I'll have many who gave their lives for the Master Builder to consecrate. I prepare myself to soothe the suffering of those who shall lose their families today. With the numbers of foes being faced, there is little hope of nobody dying. The doors of the Great Hall are locked, and thus I wait. I can feel when they perish, it hurts me but I must stand strong in this trial.



Yet, a great champion of the Master Builder shall also rise, almost unscathed from this battle, I am as sure of it as the Builder himself!




Eventually, I knew the Trickster minions have perished by the dozens from how the sounds and screams of these monsters became less frequent, and the battle cries of the dwarves louder, and thus I believe their leader would foolishly charge into battle.



Hopefully one of the brave warriors of the Master Builder has brought final judgment into this minion.



Yet I have a feeling the future of Anusblaze hangs on a thin thread. That today I will witness either a great tragedy or one of the greatest victories in this place's history. Yet my faith in the Builder is unwavering, for no matter how many die to ensure victory, it shall happen, and the foes shall be give no mercy.



I get even more doors locked, in awareness of how close the foe is. I believe only the Trolls can smash their way through, and all of them have already been defeated. If the worst comes, the survivors can still seal the way to the surface, although then the great works would be forever ruined and forgotten. Thus it must not happen!



I know I will learn of a great hero today.



For such is the grace of the Builder that guides us unto battle.



Some of the histories of how the foes were defeated will most likely sound unbelievable, but I have faith in my soldiers' ability of not making up things about how awesome they are to look dwarfier than they truly are.



And when losing, it's always a matter of time before the enemy begins to retreat. And then the Builder's justice shall never give them rest or mercy! They shall all be crushed by the hammer, by the sword, by the axe, by the spear, by the grace of the Builder.



Someone runs to me and tells me too many have died, and that he is unsure whether the remaining will make through, as even more of them are gravely wounded. I calm him, and ask for a list of all dwarves in Anusblaze, so that I look at all over the Great Hall. They are anxious and afraid, for I need to summon some of them as reinforcements to our small army.



No matter how many die, all squads must remain at maximum strength through this battle to ensure the enemy pays dearly for their attack. Those blessed by the Builder's hand sigh in relief, for they know they will be the last ones to be called into battle due to the critical importance of their abilities. The potash makers, soap makers and equally worthless artisans aren't so glad about it, knowing they will be the first ones to be called to the front.



As victory draws near, I summon the "Master of Decline" Esterilith to battle, while I ready my hammer and begin to head upstairs to join the closing of this great show of the Builder's strength. I have faith the Builder shall protect me through this battle.



Hammer drawn, I realized the enemy was fleeing, and the siege was at last over. I ran as fast as I could, but I couldn't catch up to smite any of the foes. The screams and moans of pain from those who took grievous wounds permeated the battlefield. I rushed to the Chief Medical Dwarf, ordering him to get all dwarves with some medical skill fully dedicated to giving medical care to the wounded as quickly as possible, for some of them were really bad. I don't know if they would survive.

I stood next to one of the grievously wounded dwarves, a simple but hard-working peasant called Ezum Azziningiz, and prayed for the Builder to take his soul to heaven:

"O Master Builder! We ask Thee to bless our brother who hath died in Thy service. Forgive him the transgressions of his living days, and look with favor on his works in Thy name. Plumb and plane, fire and forge, purify his spirit and draw from him all which does not meet Thy plan. Take him to serve with Thee in Thy Home where he may rest in peace eternal."





He was one of three who died after the battle was already over. Their lungs were severely injured. They struggled until the last moment to breathe, but they could do nothing. May the Builder recognize their bravery and grant them eternal rest and peace. The hospital became filled with wounded shortly after.

23rd Felsite, 257, Late Spring

The Battle is over. We have prevailed against the best of the Trickster foes and slaughtered their leader. A dedicated team of medics is caring for the wounded, while I move to the Great Hall. I look at a dwarf drenched in blood with an even bloodier adamantine axe, with barely a scratch, as he holds the heads of a dozen orks with only one hand as his hard earned trophies.



I proclaim him Hero of Anusblaze, and the other dwarves applaud him and cheer for this victory. His name is Kogan Bothoniton Akrulgeshud Stingbol, "Kogan Murkyhall the Tin Fortress of Bar". He have slain the trolls Andhaira, Cloaked Figure and Glyphwright, the human Chaos worshipper Kaiserin Ladynutspants and twelve Orks. Of the sixteen foes he defeated, twelve have been during this very siege that is at last over.

If there is time, I believe he deserves a mausoleum way more than the inane Esterilith, who makes yet another useless mandate in "celebration" of our victory.

Yet, if everything goes right, this will be Esterilith's final mandate. She was given a chance of dying honorably, but cowered behind the battle. Now the Builder's justice shall be harsh and merciless for her. I have to bring the magma to the surface before this year's end.

*claps*

Isn't the "master of decline" male?

Oh, and

Krash said:

Isn't the "master of decline" male?

Click to expand...

Last I checked, no.

A very big update because I'm the mood for it. I'm starting to see the pump stacks working. I know it's a sort of tradition to give special names to these crazy inventions, so here is my suggestion, which will of course be mentioned by the dwarves.

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From the Holy Scriptures of the Master Builder, Grand Revolutionary and Queen of Queens of Anusblaze and of all Dwarves, Avus Lirzas

THE LEGACY



lessed be the Builder, for even when the Trickster acts impeach the glory of the purification, the hammer is there to pave the path of blazing light through the darkness. Progress continues, both underground and over the surface, and there is still a strong possibility for the great works to be concluded before the end of this year. At last, I decided to give a proper name for the monument of the Builder that shall purify all those who seek to destroy everything anusblaze represents: OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT.



All backdoors shall be removed, so that the Trickster minions are forced to only go through the most violent death they shall face. Every block, every stone, every beam is set in harmony for the construction of the ultimate tribute for the Master Builder.

Meanwhile, I found a most loyal acolyte in Rith Kadololin, a mason and metalcrafter who naturally understood the greatness of the Builder. She heed many of my sermons during the brief time available for them, and embraced them with absolute devotion and loyalty for the last months. Thus, I have taken the decisions to appoint her as High Priestess of the Builder. It was a wise choice, guided by the Builder himself.



The Trickster continues to attempt corrupting the weakest among us! One moment of laxity is enough to doom an entire Fortress! I know it is right, but I still can feel pity for what this ranger has forced my hand to do. To protect the holiness of the Master Builder, the taint must not be allowed to spread. All those who have fallen to the Trickster lies and heresies must be sent to the Builder's justice!



INNOCENCE PROVES NOTHING!

THIS COULD ALL WELL BE A TRICK FROM THE MASTER OF LIARS! IT IS OBVIOUS THIS RANGER IS FORLORN, A LOST SOUL, A PUPPET OF EVIL!



And thus, with tears in my eyes, yet knowing there was no other option, I sent the Trickster-controlled lost one to the beyond. May the Builder have mercy on his soul.



To become as much of a lasting legacy as OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT itself, a massive network of finely crafted, extremely accurate and near lossless gears and axles shall connect the power from several waterwheels to the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT, beyond the reach of the scum that would seek to avert their rightful smiting through the fiery divine justice.

I am proud of what this already mostly magnificent fortress is becoming: a beacon of light for all who come to seek it. Those who are friends shall be greeted with the light. Those who are evil abominations shall be enlightened through the purificating features of water and fire, to be transformed into something that may be given purpose through the hands of a Builder: obsidian. Provided they don't melt, burn or drown first.



Progress of the great works continue at an acceptable rate. I have reassigned many mostly idle personell as mason apprentices to support the construction of the great works. The gear structure on the surface is the priority because there is no idea how long until another vile assortment of scum attempts to destroy Anusblaze.



Thus I decided to not bother with further construction of the ducts that will bring the liquid justice through the vast open underground caverns without spilling. Considering what may lurk in these caverns though, I'm definitively going to put a floodgate as a replacement for solid rock in all these structures, so that both surface and underground may be purged from all that is unclean and twisted.



I was so focused on the goal of the successful construction of OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT that it took me time to realize when Rith explained how the fortress entrance was more rotten than the most twisted necromancer's tower entrance. Immediately I went through the paperwork to ensure all shall be given a proper burial into stone shaped by the Builder.

Well, I think this region is free from the necromancer threat, but considering the other Trickster servants, I wouldn't treat this as something to celebrate, only something that raises the odds of victory against these devils.



Reports of vile servants of the Trickster roaming the caverns show up once a while, but thanks to the constant patrols I have set, there is always enough soldiers close by to deal with such threats before they could hurt any follower of the Builder. I wonder if deep inside the Earth lies the dark, dreaded Maw of Chaos, and I believe that is what lies down there, somewhere, for why else would the most twisted, vile creatures in service of the Liar be located only on the deepest underground caverns?



I heard a dog died. A loyal and faithful servant, but nevertheless, a soulless one, no different from my dreams of mechanical servants with golden masks that toil tirelessly for the glory of the Master Builder. I cannot in my good heart allow such animals to have a burial when I cannot truly foresee the future, only pray for the Builder the martyrs shall never be so many that the number of occupied beds will be dwarfed by the number of occupied graves. After all, dogs don't need a burial to rest in peace.



At the same time, finally I found the perfect source of the justice liquid for the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT. I have ordered the construction of a floodgate to control it, for the pumps shall work day and night once the machine is built, for although I do intend to connect one of the finals gear assemblies bringing the power to the device to a lever, there is nothing like too much failsafes when it comes to dealing with the purification of earth.



I can't believe that the mayor came up with a mandate that isn't about making something useless, impractical or impossible, differently from the "Master of Decline" who continues to wallow in its ever present mediocrity. Perhaps he was enlightened by the wisdom of the Builder.



I... think I saw a manera ten years ago. I can't remember the details. I'll just write this about these, things: They are horrible creatures of the Trickster. Avoid them whenever you can unless you're sure they can be taken down.



The brave Red Armors were sufficient to destroy this vile, roof-crawling creature. Only the greatest Forces of CHAOS could have conceived such a twisted, sick being, but the Builder will always come to the impure, the mutant, the heretic, the Trickster tree huggers, the savage Chaos-serving humans and all others who serve the Enemy.



I can already see the glorious project in honor of the Master Builder taking its final shape over the surface. Pumps are being stacked one over the other from bottom to top, with open spaces connecting them so that all are automatically powered. Yet there is a great engineering challenge because the original pathway down would suddenly be interrupted by an underground lake, and thus two separate stacks will have to be powered. I have already decided to do such a thing underground for the sake of efficiency and saving time, but it makes me wonder. Even if I build the axles and gears with magma-proof materials, a leakage is inevitable over there... the same place ridden with Maneras, Blind Cave ogres and other abominations, so why not?



I never thought walling off a duct to avoid magma from leaking where it shouldn't would be so troublesome. The dumbfuck ends always walling off himself! Perhaps I should try defining the surroundings of the pump as restricted areas, because obviously I need to handle idiots. This must be a Trickster's mockery over the greatness of the Master Builder!



Thanks to the Builder no useless Potash Makers came to ruin the glory of Anusblaze this year!



And of course, thanks to the Builder our glorious armies destroy all minions without mercy and a chance for them to escape.



Another of these strange events disturbs me. Apparently someone seized a Jeweler's workshop and began to craft something, influenced by what I hope to be the wisdom of the Builder rather than another Trickster deviltry.





One problem lied with the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT. The water would have to be pumped through a path that would force the old well in the hospital to remain off-limits for everyone. Thus I devised a wise solution: water was drawn a level below, to end available right in the middle of the hospital for a new well. Everything went fine, and thanks to the Builder a mason built a wall before the water could get to the lower level, where it wasn't wanted or needed.



I suppose I needed something appropriate to store holy water for my accolite Rith. Yet better things could have been made, so I suspect this was not the Builder's hand, nevertheless, should there be Trickster's lies in this, once it is filled with holy water, it shall dissolve into nothing, for Chaos cannot construct, only twist what the Builder has created.



Apparently the pastures aren't enough for the amount of grazing animals the fortress have. Although risky, I decide on a solution for this issue that will avoid such unnecessary animal deaths from ever happening again.



There are greener pastures underground, although there are also many vile forces, at least with the animals there they could serve as a distraction should the worst come, allowing the Builder servants to escape unscathed.





BY THE BUILDER! THE TRICKSTER IS ATTACKING OUR HOLY FORTRESS WITH ONE OF HIS MOST VILE DAEMONS OF CHAOS! TO ARMS! THE BUILDER SHALL GRANT US VICTORY!

I am awaiting. Hopefully the existing squads will prove sufficient to defeat this abomination. Otherwise I shall march forward to meet this beast, and smite it all the way back to the deepest pit of the Maw of Chaos.



I have read reports from one of the patrols about the creature. Never before we have needed the Builder's blessing than now. It is a horrible thing, built of the worst nightmares, and worst of all, a flying abomination that spits some kind of vile thing... just like during the last siege, I can testify that today shall be written in history as either the greatest victory or the greatest tragedy to ever happen in Anusblaze.

I can only pray for the former, as I ready my hammer, fearing the two squads that shall fight there may prove insufficient.



WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT ONE OF THOSE DAEMON-WORSHIPPING HUMANS ARRIVES ALMOST AT THE SAME TIME ONE OF THE WORST DAEMONS OF THE TRICKSTER DID! AND TO OFFER A PEACE TREATY! DO THEY THINK WE ARE FOOLS!

How I wish the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT was already done, so that this whore called "law"-giver, although chaos-giver would be more fitting, is brought to the purifying flames. Yet, I cannot even be sure of what fate awaits me.



It is inevitable this spiteful Trickster's minion will seek a way to slaughter everyone in anusblaze. They are nothing but hatred, murder, decay, reckless change and lust together in their march to subjugate dwarvenkind. But the Master Builder of countless Universes, greater than any other god, to whom all other greater beings bow down, is with us.

I know martyrs will be made this day. I can only hope they will be few rather than many.



I can only hope this thing will go down soon enough. To this I pray for the Master Builder.





Because a flying abomination will be very difficult to defeat. Yet we must not allow this beast to roam freely in mockery of the Master Builder's glory! I look at my hammer, and wonder if I will have to fight the beast. The answer to that question is something that I will soon learn.



Someone hurries to give me a battle report. The bolts seriously wounded the creature, which is bleeding constantly, yet, like a truly twisted servant of the Trickster, it simply refuses to die. I can only conclude we are facing a Daemon Prince, and may the Builder save us, for if that is true, I don't think our odds are very good without divine intervention.



I don't know what this abomination can do, and I fear knowing it will tempt me to lose hope and faith.

I pray to the Master Builder even as I write this.



May all the martyrs be rewarded and given peace. May victory shine, no matter the cost.



May all the insults of the Trickster return tenfold in fiery justice. I am starting to feel queasy. They look at me as I order them to fill in for the casualties in battle, afraid, terrified. Some even look with the same eyes Ranger Limul gave me when I delivered his sentence for failing and allowing the Trickster to turn him into a vessel of Chaos.

I once have seen the same look on dwarves who were about to meet the hammerer. The look of people who are almost sure they are not going to make it.

But I must remain strong, I will never waiver in faith. For this is exactly what the Trickster wants! As long as one hand can hold a hammer or a pick, the glory of the Builder shall prevail!



I write this just as I wore the last of my armor. I am going to battle now. Even Esterilith is going to face the abomination. Too many people already died, but I still have faith we can win this battle. I will entrust my scriptures and the management of the fortress to my accolite Rith, until the battle is over. May the Builder bless us and grant us victory, no matter how large our sacrifice must be, we shall defeat this devil and prove that the Builder shall always prevail against the hoofed liar.

A pity that our best warrior may fall today, but we shall endure all trials, and should the sword fail, hard-work shall always succeed.

============================

Personal Diary of Rith Kadololin, High Priestess of the Master Builder



I abide by the teachings of the Builder and thus will avoid to devaluate the greatness of all that is holy by tying it to mortal time.

I am not sure about what is happening. Avuz Lirzas forbade me from going to the lower levels and see it for myself. All I know is that one of the most horrible daemons to ever come in this Fortress History is slaughtering everyone on his path, and that Avuz has answered the call. I can feel her voice. The Builder grants many mysterious gifts. Yet my gift is a burden, for every time someone dies, I can feel the pain and know who just went to the Halls of the Builder.

Sometimes, even when ghosts aren't around, I still can see and hear things from both the heavenly heights and the hellish pits, faint voices. And sometimes I feel like I could see and hear something that is happening elsewhere, only to wake up to what was like a dream I had while awake.



But sometimes it is no dream. I could hear Avuz charging with others, I could heard the clenching of teeth of those the vile beast enjoyed to bring a slow death to, torturing them as expected from a devil that deserves only Oblivion.

And her voice came to me, loud and clear, from down there, a battle cry into a hopeless battle as she rose her hammer:

"TO ME SONS OF ANUSBLAZE! FOR THE BUILDER!"



*old stains from tears mark this passage*

Builder! Have mercy of us! The avatar of the Master Builder herself didn't make it... I couldn't believe, but I knew, I saw her die in excruciating suffering. One of the greatest people to ever set foot on this place, now dead. Why have you forsaken her, Builder? Why? What will become of us without our protector? How? Give me strength, give me wisdom....

Not much time later

I can't believe! Maybe the Builder is still with us. I saw the parting spirit of my mentor, Avuz. She gave to me one last order before ascending: that we must fight to the last dwarf! Once more unto the breach! I cannot question the wisdom of the Builder. Thus I send these orders, trying to hold myself as I read the casualty reports and feel the deaths of more and more people.



Yet a minor chance of victory comes. The daemon is caged by foolishly charing inside a tight tunnel, where it may be struck down...

May be.



Its screams, I don't need to look beyond this room. I can hear them coming all the way up to here. It was one of the most horrifying screams I have ever heard. If there is something that could be called the signature daemonic scream, this is it.

Yet, I knew that there still could be victory. A miner bravely tore the daemon apart with his pick, hoping to keep it too mauled for it to do what could ruin everything: its deadly frozen dust, built from the very depths of the Maw of Chaos, the only reason why it has slaughtered so many of us.

I wonder how long until I see no choice but to also come to battle. I hope the Builder will grant us grace after so many sacrifices and losses. And, I am impressed with another fact I can feel. No matter how much the Avatar of the Builder despised Esterilith, something justifiable, I think the "Master of Decline" Esterilith is redeeming herself right now. It takes great courage for someone mired in wealth to risk losing her life to face such a horrific monster with her bare fists only.



The Chaos worshipping scum leaves, after its calls are ignored. I am afraid it was scouting our traps so that a future raid won't have problems with it... if we could... Builder! Why? Just a few days ago we were on the eve of concluding the greatest and most glorious project this place ever had, and now we are on the eve of extinction! And cruel fate would it be, for the survivors to end having no future as the Trickster sends a massive siege just after this daemonic prince is defeated! NO! I must have hope, if I lose my hope, what will be of Anusblaze?



Ironic. Had the Avatar lived, Esterilith would be a block of Obsidian, or drowned. Now, the Trickster made both share the same fate, and I cannot help but feel pity for Esterilith. May the Builder forgive her for her sins. I think soon it will be my turn to join the battle. I can barely hold out as I feel every death. And I know that more than half of our people perished already because of this daemonic infestation.



Perhaps extinction will be our fate. But it's better to die as martyrs of the Master Builder than to live as servants of the hoofed liar! We shall not give up I feel my time to join this losing battle is coming. I will leave my diary here, and should I fall, hope that someone will be brave enough to explore the then damned ruins to find it, so that the tenets of the Master Builder never be forgotten.

May the Builder grant me strength.



Personal Diary of Rith Kadololin, High Priestess of the Master Builder

First entry after the battle against Nokast, the Daemon Prince of the Trickster

Somehow, I am still alive. Had I known the trickery that we have fallen into, I could have prevented a disaster of such magnitude, for in the end, the way the Avatar understood the Builder's teachings could be wrong, very wrong. Nevertheless, we must carry on, and never give up, so that those who died don't have their deaths in vain.

First of all, the Daemn Nokast continues to bleed its foul blood, but lives, as it nested over the corpses of the fallen hammerites on the blood water, flying and standing over there. I am very sure it didn't move. It simply screams, probably in celebration, or frustration for the Builder is stronger, and gave me the wisdom I needed to prevent the total annihilation of Anusblaze at the very last second we still had.



How I was a fool. What I saw claiming to be Avuz spirit was nothing but another daemon. It ordered us to fight to the bitter end because it knew that way we would all be slaughtered, and thus the Trickster would emerge victorious. In the end, I remembered one of the most important prayers of the Builder, and even as I stood on the shadow of the valley of death, I prayed, for the Builder still protected me:



I am a Wallbuilder. Let my walls endure, from season to season, year to year, and age to age. Let my walls stand, while families toil, armies march, and empires fall. I am a Wallbuilder, and my walls will stand always as a shield against evil. This I pray, that will the Master Builder grant.

And thus, I saved the few survivors from certain death. That are the good news. The bad news, besides the horrible tragedy, the greatest tragedy to ever happen in the entire history of Anusblaze, is that we will need to find another way to reach the underground levels, preferably avoiding that cursed cave. I curse the fool who had the idea of not avoiding those hallowed realms of the hoofed liar altogether when digging the way down!

There are yet two good news.

First, thanks to the wall I've built, the caverns the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT will pass through can't be reached yet by the abomination. Second, I believe we can, no... not only we can, but it is our duty to complete the great works at any costs, to honor our fallen beacon of hope and salvation: Avuz Lirzas, the Queens of Queens. The other good news is that we have plenty of booze and food stocked, and the walling of that cave didn't block any of it. Thus we may, for a while, cease work in the farms and dedicate ourselves fully to the project.

After all, with our limited numbers, the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT is our last, best hope of standing a chance against future sieges by the Trickster servants. It is no coincidence this daemon came up as we were about to conclude it. The Trickster fears that we may create through the blessing of Builder a weapon capable of defeating any of his foes, because even the most malignant daemon cannot resist the might of the Builder's water and fire in the construction of obsidian.



We must carry on. We must finish the great works. Even in this direst times, we must not despair.

Yet, regardless of how few of us remain, I shall smite anyone too weak or corrupt to resist the Trickster's manipulation of them into tantrums. For tantrums are obviously a manifestation of pure CHAOS, and who is the master of Chaos? Our enemy, the Trickster.

I pray for the Builder to give all of us strength.

We shall finish what Avuz Lirzas began, one way or another, we shall finish it.

Yet, I can fell the daemon. It remains in the same position, frustrated it cannot slaughter more of us, yet proud of how many it already did. It tries to torment me, but I resist. Yet, The Builder has shown me how Avuz was wrong in one thing, one simple truth that we have neglected:

The pick is mightier than the sword.

The pride of such vile creature shall be its downfall, for it forgot that above him lie millions of tons of rock, just waiting for the right swings of a pick to dislodge and collapse. Avuz failed to defeat the daemon through force of arms, but I shall defeat the foe through a much greater and Builder's blessed force: the force of hard work.

The same force I shall guide and donate my own to conclude the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT, so that never again shall one of us die because of a siege or of a filthy daemon.

The forces of Chaos have won the battle today, but they shall inevitably lose the war!

==================








Yeah, I fucked up. I never faced a flying FB before in this game... and thought it wouldn't be that difficult to kill. So now about three quarters of the population got wiped out, but I will still try to at least get the "power grid" to the pump stacks finished.

But again, what is the fun of a thread like this one if the Fortress never goes through epic fuckups?

I guess I learned the hard way that fighting battles like in "Enemy at the Gates" never works in DF, even when you have enough weapons for everyone. I could also have tried to send in 60 dwarves at once against the thing, but it would probably just accelerate the rape.

Is Anusblaze fucked up because a tantrum spiral will finish what the FB started or is there still hope? Make your bets.

Guess you didn't know about the bug with deadly dust that makes it behave as cave in dust.

Getting the fort back on its feel will be tough, especially considering all the strange doings of the other dwarf overlords. I think you're p. fucked.

Krash said:

Guess you didn't know about the bug with deadly dust that makes it behave as cave in dust.

Click to expand...

That was the first dust-spewing FB I faced in this game. Should've lured it to a tight corridor, but again, with the dwarves being dumbfucks that refuse to hold their position instead of charging mindlessly, it would have changed nothing. Had I known better I'd have sealed both ends and found a another way to connect the lower and upper levels of the fortress that could bypass those caves.

Getting the fort back on its feel will be tough, especially considering all the strange doings of the other dwarf overlords. I think you're p. fucked.

Click to expand...

At least there are no undead legions waiting outside to feast.

I don't give up easily, even if I have to slam dunk the whole magma spewing machine by removing some safety constraints.

Fucking-A! That update was epic. That FB was fucking hardcore! I've never dealt with one that tough before.The tantrums are definitely a bitch. I lost my last fort to rioting dwarves after a nasty FB attack. Lets hope you can keep the dwarves from murdering each other long enough to get Anusblaze back on its feet!

And thank you Master Builder, for saving the trannies of Anusblaze from the degenerate appetites of the great beast Nomask.

It seems there is a curse in most DF community fortresses I've read: every time a fortress is on the verge of having a magma thrower completely built, shit happens.

Where ma update at?

Personal Diary of Rith Kadololin, High Priestess of the Master Builder



"Each moment of thy life hath a choice - accept the trial the Builder hath set for thee, or lay down thy burden and die."

The tragedy the foul Chaos daemon brought is not over. Its tainted blood has corrupted many of those who touched it, and some unfortunate souls were too wounded to get through before I finished the wall that saved us from total destruction.



Although the majority of us hold strong, and I have personally given the best treatment possible to the most traumatized of the surviving Anusblaze dwellers to help them get through, two of them insist on mindless violence and aggression. Although this could be a sign the Trickster is infiltrating us, I decide to give them the benefit of doubt, for now.



The living quarters of everybody shall be greatly improved through the chisel, another of the many tools of the Master Builder, so that they may remember great moments of our glorious history, and forget for a little while the tragedy that befell us.



Fortunately, my leniency was proven rightful. As long as these two start getting better and don't threaten those of us that stand strong in face of disaster, rather than bow down and succumb, they shall be forgiven. I can only hope I won't have to perform the same wrath of the Master Builder upon them.



Having survived so much, we know are only the strongest of will. Even the few children among us can be brave enough to put the vile spawn and disgusting creatures of the Chaotic One in their place, after they have been emaciated by countless stone-fall traps. I will not let this fall. I can feel that, along the sadness, the majority feels not the irrational, self-destructive despair that the Trickster intended, but a desire to rebuild and avenge their fallen brothers and sisters. And to honor the memory of the Master Builder by finishing the great works.



(AN DORF AWARD WINNER!)



By the builder! I felt someone's despair, but I refused to help such a fool. Someone idiotic enough to wall himself out of being too retarded to build the wall from outside deserves to die. I just hope he didn't have too many relatives along the survivors. Why must I cope with such ridiculous dim-wittedness?



BLASPHEMY! Krash has tried to destroy the Great Works, desecrating the Master Builder such a way! It's obvious now that he may be beyond salvation. Just one more of these and I'm going to take drastic measures to deal with such daemon-possessed weak ones among us!



"And The Builder said...'Smite thine enemies without mercy, for mercy is but weakness in disguise....'"

After he coldly murdered the recently elected mayor, Krash has proven to be too much of a liability to be forgiven. It's obvious his soul is gone and his body is now nothing but a vessel for daemons of chaos and murder. I prepare myself to do this, for I have no other options. And the other wicked one, Bandai, although showing no signs anymore, is obviously on the same level. I have no other option. Jailing lost souls will simply delay the inevitable, and besides we aren't in any condition to waste time taking care of prisoners, and keeping potential workers locked in just aches my heart, so I'll just do this swiftly and quickly.





I never had to kill a fellow dwarf before. I could see their faces though and knew they weren't really the people I hoped they were. Their faces were full of hatred and evil, contorted and twisted. They have fallen and become vessels for daemons attempting to ruin the Builder's plan from inside. Thus they were given what they deserved. At least, with these two threats taken down, the survivors are, although not particularly happy, much more serene. I believe this will be the last casualty of that vile Daemon Prince works.



Although losing the only surviving miner would be a great setback, I cannot take risks. Luckily he managed to successfully wrestle control over his body against the daemons, and in time he may grow stronger. His survival is of essence to ensure the revenge against the daemon prince.



I worriedly observe as Aban continues to struggle against demonic possession. I must not be lax about it, for one moment of laxity can doom an entire fortress. Yet I can only hope he will win this battle for his own body, in the end. Because I do not expect anyone to ever dare moving in to Anusblaze after the rumors of the great tragedy spread. The Builder has not abandoned us. I remain strong in faith, and hopeful. For even after all the setbacks the construction of OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT hasn't ceased.



Breaking the Chaos the Trickster tried to impose all over Anusblaze, a New Order rises. No more worthless nobles making impossible demands, only those of us who actually do something to keep the Builder's work going on are in. Our numbers are too small for an army to be built, but nevertheless it is my duty as the High Priestess of the Builder to smite down all heretics and daemon hosts. Should our numbers ever grow again, then I shall consider raising a proper Inquisition group. Ulminati was elected as the new mayor after the tragic death of the previous one by a daemon-possessed Krash.





Yet I can feel the putrescence, the daemonic taint rotting and brusing all it touches. More of us shall die, but we must not despair. As long as we carry on, as long as the great works continue, we will make it through. The surface part of the great works, transmitting the mechanical power all the way down through the pumps is of utmost priority, for the Trickster legions may attempt another siege eventually, and once it happens our only option will be to shut down the access to surface until the great works are concluded and fiery justice is brought to the vile monsters deserving of nothing but of being totally wiped out from the world. To expedite the process I have thought of a massive chamber filled with the very cursed fluids and gasses of Daemon Princes. I already categorized Nokast-B which apparently causes total loss of breathing and numbness. Wiping out all the vile monsters will be trivial should it be successfuly constructed, but I'd need a dedicated fortress to the task of exterminating Orks. Not that Anusblaze can't do it itself. Most caged greenskins are outside, and once the magma pours they will all burn.



I notice a pattern. This poor sod has refused to wear shoes. I believe this is how he got infected. I don't really understand it. With all the grime and death around, walking without shoes is totally uncalled for, and besides it's not like this place is too hot in the first place. If he dies, I think he deserves it as much as the idiot who walled himself. Another death out of sheer idiocy, by the Builder!







It is horrible what the Daemonic taint does with a person. I am afraid our doctors can do little to help him. WILL YOU START WEARING SHOES INSTEAD OF BEING RETARDED FOR A CHANGE?



His misery didn't last much. I could hear the daemon laughing as Asob perished. This won't end like this! I will not allow it!



The doctor also had a similar fate. I'm starting to fear this plague may have infected many more people than I hoped. There is nothing I can do about it but to pray for the Master Builder to save us from such chaos.



Chaos that slowly encroaches deeper into the tunnels filled with unburied corpses. We must complete the surface part of the Great Works before we can bury our dead.



Yet the few of us left can easily put an end to the scum after they have been emaciated by stone-fall traps. I am faithful we still stand a chance of survival. The project's surface part is coming to a conclusion, and we are making it through.



The dwarves of Emensodel arrive to our Fortress, offering trade, while the liaison wishes to speak with Ulminati to discuss the matters of imports. Although trade is not a priority, we need to practice it because all those with appraisal skills have perished, and our newest broker is still quite a novice in the art. We traded rock crafts and excess clothing for booze mostly, and now have enough of a stockpile to possibly last for years. Speaking on stockpiles, we have an oversupply of everything besides adamantine weapons and coffins for the many who died. Many worshops are terribly cluttered and I cannot really let people waste too much time hauling objects while the future of this fortress lies on the successful completion of the great works.





Monom Kivshmorul becomes the next victim of what we named the Nokast Plague. This is worrissome, but fortunately nobody else is showing symptoms. I believe he may be the last victim, and may the Builder bless us with such fortune. Meanwhile, the Chaos-worshipping Troglodytes along other beastmen continue being a serious nuisance. The truly good news is that gradually everybody's mood improved and now there is no longer a risk of a tantrum of Chaos ruining everything. Monom's death won't change it, I think.



The situation is under control. The Troglodytes are almost always wounded by stones and thus easy takings. I miss however the crowds of workers, the long chats and meetings. We walk through mostly empty halls, corridors with mostly empty bedrooms, as there are many more busy graves than busy rooms in Anusblaze. A trial of faith for us, one we will make through, for if our success and prosperity grows enough, once our security issues are solved we may still attract new disciples of the Builder to this place.



Chaos is strong in its vile desire of collar-grabbing, but our brave one-dwarf's militia will take good care of such scum, popping his head until it dies, and there will be no cover for this vile creature to run at.



THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SCUM TRIES TO GRAB THE COLLAR OF A DWARF IN ANUSBLAZE!



Monom finally succumbs, may he be the last one, for I am getting tired of seeing only death, and there aren't many of us left.



Only ghosts of an once much more lively past, who haunt the cursed halls. I see dead people, I listen to their pain and fear, and their desire for justice. They want me to put an end to the Daemon Prince, and I am going to do that soon. I cannot allow that abomination to lurk in the depths much longer. Its death shall come by the hands of a much smaller amount of dwarves than those that attempted to defeat it through blade and bolts.



At last! The power system is linked to the topmost pump. With this, all left to do is to finish constructing the pumps all the way up to the surface, link up the power from the upper pump stack to the lower stack that had to be placed elsewhere because of an underground lake, and build ducts over the caves the pumps will pass through, with possibly one floodgate in each of the ducts over the upper and middle caves so that the two caves may be purified as well.





The plague still curses another one of us. I pray even more to the Builder to save us from a miserable fate and total death. I can empathize with the pain of all who die, I can feel it, and this makes my burning desire to give a proper fate to the foul Trickster minions even greater. Thank the Builder no necromancer lives in the neighboring regions, for otherwise then we'd be truly doomed.



Nokast will be forgotten eternally and cast into Oblivion. The daemon has nested into its lake throne of corpses and foulness, and hovers there proudly, showing the wounds it had endured, including a massive cut over its mouth, proving that battling it through conventional means was indeed foolish. It was a humbling lesson on how hard work is a much more powerful force than sheer violence.



Only once millions of urists of rock smash the daemon into nothing, I shall consider the matter over, and justice served, but only for a time. The completion of OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT is of essence for the final justice of the Builder. With its surface power lines operational and unreachable from outside(hopefully the foes won't land on flying creatures to ruin it all), all the focus will go to the construction of pumps, and once the lower stack is completed, of axles and gears to connect it to the power the upper stack is already linked to, but currently disabled as I ordered for the lever that controls the power to the magma pumps to be set on the OFF position, just as an additional failsafe to the floodgate installed over the point where the liquid of purification shall pour once dug.



Oblivious to what happens above its vile head, the daemon laughters echo through the cavern and beyond, as it cajoules and pridely hover its wings, still absorbed by its "victory". Soon I will stop hearing those annoying and horrible noises from this thing, soon it shall be truly forgotten.



"If a beam taketh six nails to place, then six shalt it be. If thou useth five, then be thou a cheap and careless fool. If thou useth seven, then be thou a wastrel with no pride."

By mastery of the Builder and His blessing, the holy Structures can hold infinite amounts of weight, for it's a Builder-given miracle that proves his might even in this world that a single pillar can stand such a pressure from multiple layers of stone, and this pillar shall be linked to a lever, the lever that will sign the sentence of the twisted daemon once pulled.



We are headstrong about our goals, and nothing shall stop us now. The Builder watches over us, and guards us still, while sending all the souls of our fallen to their judgment in the next life. No foul beast heading our way will change that.



Justice will be served.





Although some of the bodies and belongings of our fallen comrades were forever lost due to the collapse, it was a worthy sacrifice. Nokast is defeated, at last! This is a great moment for Anusblaze, as we proved that even in the face of the greatest tragedy, we will still emerge victorious, no matter how many of us die before the war is won!

Nevertheless, I feel unwilling to destroy the wall I built while praying the wallbuilder prayer, the wall that saved the last of us from total damnation. Right now, the supplies on the lower levels of Anusblaze aren't needed for what I have planned. Once needed, then I'd rather to dig a tunnel going beneath those cursed caves, then bring all the bodies of the fallen we can for burial, and once that is done, completely seal off that cavern. The only issue I can see is that some of the axles will have to be built with nether-cap on that connection between the two stacks, but it is no big deal, specially as nether-cap has grown past the most cursed regions and even inside the safety of our fortress. But that is something that will be an issue much later.



Even after Nokast's demise, the plague still is around, but fortunately this time it harmed only a poor boar. I can only hope this will be the last of its many victims.



With all floodgates set and linked to levers, the water part of OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT is fully completed. The magma part will be trickier however. Perhaps I should have pumped the water one level above magma to prevent obsidian from forming prematurely, but now it is too late, and besides, I like the idea of boiling foes better, as it is more painful than being instantly merged inside obsidian and thus just for the scum that will suffer through it, thus the proposed method will be as follows: first pump the magma in and throw it on Anusblaze entrance, where hopefully scum will be waiting for a loophole in our defenses, and after enough of it has been pumped, then close the magma floodgate, wait for the magma pouring from the east ducts to diminish, and then unleash the water to boil the scum that might still be alive. Or pour the water first then the magma, whichever brings the best results.

Of course, this also means that if any future duke decides to be a hindrance rather than a contribution to Anusblaze, there will be always a very deserving reward awaiting such individual in his own luxurious quarters. A lever fittingly labelled the AWESOME BUTTON, which obviously makes something AWESOME happen every time it is pulled, that us filthy and inferior peasants are unworthy of, lie there in wait for the next duke, baron or whatever.





Construction plans for all the pumps of the lower stack are set. I am glad the surface components are fully operational, because now even if the foul forces of Chaos mount a siege outside, they will just be waiting for a very fiery death. With all the lower stack set, I can start ordering the construction of axles and gears to link it up to the other pipes as soon as the holes are channeled for the vertical axles to go up.



Thank the Builder the surface components are done! The foul servants of the hoofed liar have arrived in yet another of their always failed attempts to destroy us! I order all to evacuate to the great hall, and I shall forbid the outer doors from being opened again. It is risky, but I shall see if I can lure as many of them as possible close to the entrance before sealing the fortress, as this way the eventual fiery justice shall be even more effective. Maybe once this siege is over I could order for a moat to be dug, and for graphite and other flammable grates to be built around the places where the fiery purification of the Builder shall reach.



Avuz Asmellanlar arrived just in time, as the horde approaches. I thanked the Builder nobody was caught by it, and now all I had to do is know the right time to give the lockdown order. I prayed for the Builder to enlighten me to give it at the optimal moment, getting as many of the foes close to the future bath of magma as possible.



"And the word went before him on a breeze carrying our salvation. Here at least is a man with a mind of a general and the heart of a poet, yet also with the hands of a builder. He will lift us up from the earth."

Praise the Builder! Through the work of hammer and chisel rather than of sword our foes perish as they dare to get through the gates of Anusblaze. I await further before giving the lockdown order, for there is still time to draw in more of the scum to where I want them to be.







And when the time is right, the bookkeeper comes and saves all of us. Now, with the surface access sealed, I can focus the last days of my rule into ensuring my successor will have not so much left to do if, and by the Builder, I hope his answer will be yes, he wishes to finish what Avuz Lirzas and I have started. The most complicated parts of the project are already done or mostly done, and almost everyone is focused on it now.



Yet all we still managed to do after all the tragedies has a bitter taste. The plague isn't entirely over yet, and now I finally isolate its source, the children died after, for Builder know what purposes, he went to play over that infected, bloodied well.

No more dwarf or animal will die because of it.



Because I have ordered for the hospital are to be quarantined, until we can find a way to sterilize without the risk of drowning the entire fortress in magma, and we will need to build a new well and a new hospital, as the old one is too infected and tainted by the remnants of the fallen Daemon Prince.



My time as the overseer of Anusblaze is over. I pass this burden to whoever is unfortunate enough to be chosen among the survivors. I can only hope the new overseer shall honor all the sacrifices that have been made in honor of the Master Builder, of our fallen brothers and sisters and of Anusblaze itself by finishing the OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT and putting a very deserving end to those Orks outside.

To help the new overseer in his challenging task, I have left many annotations over a map of Anusblaze, and as a few of them, are the following, which I believe that will be essential in the future management of what is left of the great works, although I hope whoever comes now will take the time to check all the notes I've written:









Now, as I humbly leave the management of Anusblaze, hoping the light of the Master Builder will not be forsaken by the new overseer, I have finally the time to honor an old and trusted friend, and will finish my last entry in my diary as an overseer with two words only, which meaning I hope that our people will forever remember in all of Anusblaze history:



NEVER FORGET.

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4964

The save is here. Good luck.

Also the pump stacks, whenever possible, were based on this minus constructed walls and flooring(except when needed due to caves with multiple z-levels between floor and roof) as that would take too long to be concluded:

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.ph ... msg1772802

Cassidy said:

NEVER FORGET.

Click to expand...

:tearofaneagle:

Man, those were some awesome updates, Cassidy. Thanks!

GarfunkeL said:

Man, those were some awesome updates, Cassidy. Thanks!

Click to expand...

Yeah, that was one of the most epic years yet. Hopefully whoever is up next can keep the fort together. Anusblaze has become pretty awesome.

I died.

Oh well, it was glorious while it lasted. Wonder how the next overseer will salvage Anusblaze from this precarious situation.

Krash said:

I died.

Oh well, it was glorious while it lasted. Wonder how I will salvage Anusblaze from this precarious situation.

Click to expand...

Fixed. It is your turn nevertheless, I believe.

Seems you're right. I've got lots of studying to do right now, but I'll try to have a first update up in a few days.

Krash said:

Seems you're right. I've got lots of studying to do right now, but I'll try to have a first update up in a few days.

Click to expand...

Good luck with your exams.

Also I found out something quite recent:



http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=93254.0

Hope it won't be yet another Vaporware Mod #12668

*Edit:

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=3612

Did any of you try that one?

Warhammer mods for DF? Sounds fucking awesome. I'm a longtime Chaos fan, so I'm definitely trying out that Chaos Warriors mod. It sounds like it could make for a nice LP if it's not to buggy. And the Warhammer Dwarves mod will also probably be awesome if it doesn't turn out to be vapourware.

I wish I knew how to mod DF, because this just gave me a fucking great idea for a mod: DF Chaos Dwarves!

Ok just took a quick look at the situation... and fuck me if I survive this I better get a (dwarven) monument to my honor (no the other honor, etc.). Hordes of gobbos at the gates, 18 ragged survivors, shit everywhere, the most baffling design decisions ever... This is why community games are awesome. I'll try and p much reorganize everything from the ground up if I manage to survive the goblins.

Oh, and a tip for my theoretical successor(s). Don't use ranged weapons - it's almost impossible to get dwarfs to train with them (buggy), and once in a blue moon when you get a few who can actually hit the broad side of a mountain, they'll nicely rush into battle with approximately one bolt between them.

JagreenLern said:

I wish I knew how to mod DF, because this just gave me a fucking great idea for a mod: DF Chaos Dwarves!

Click to expand...

Are you implying standard DF dwarves aren't chaotic enough? :D

JagreenLern said:

Warhammer mods for DF? Sounds fucking awesome. I'm a longtime Chaos fan, so I'm definitely trying out that Chaos Warriors mod. It sounds like it could make for a nice LP if it's not to buggy. And the Warhammer Dwarves mod will also probably be awesome if it doesn't turn out to be vapourware.

I wish I knew how to mod DF, because this just gave me a fucking great idea for a mod: DF Chaos Dwarves!

Click to expand...

Actually, that thread I linked to is a Warhammer Total Conversion mod intended to feature all Warhammer Fantasy races, Skaven included. It became a merger of a few already existing mods and is being made, having already some preliminary versions for download.

the most baffling design decisions ever...

Click to expand...

I know, building the waterwheels closer to where they need to bring power would be a better option, but it wouldn't look as epic, and besides, the finished "power line" could have other uses than just the planned magma and water thrower.

Also, as much as I might have failed, at least I added something it needed urgently to catch up with modern times: an AWESOME BUTTON.

Cassidy said:

Skaven included

Click to expand...

Ok. Now I REALLY hope this mod doesn't end up as vapourware. Jesus fucking Christ, I want to play Skaven Fortress! And if they feature Clan Skryre warpstone steampunk tech, Pestilens diseases, and a nice system for Clan Moulder that takes advantage of all the dismemberment in DF, it would probably be the best DF mod ever.

The following are extracts from the diaries of Nil Zulbanavuz, who arrived to Anusblaze in 258.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 1st of Granite

I had to sneak round the goblins loitering by the gates but I finally got into Anusblaze. It’s just like Krash described it in her letters – non-existent organization, dead animals littering the great hall, nobles tantruming and partying while the rest live in squalor, a crude layer of blood and grime covering everything. Feels just like home.


Aint it homely?

The first dwarf I encountered was Rith Kadololin who presented herself as a former priestess of something and promptly offered to take my measurements in case I’d need a coffin. Apparently she’s considered an optimist in these here parts. Unfortunately, because of head trauma, she doesn’t know who is/was in charge. Neither do the others apparently; the only thing they’re sure about is that he was building some kind of doomsday device. Those’re quite trendy in settler forts I hear.

With Rith in tow, I took a quick tour of Anusblaze, just to get my bearings.

Apparently there’s been some kind of altercation with creatures from the underworld and because of that most dwarves here are currently resting in the mausoleum. I didn’t tell her the mausoleum looked about as stylish as a garbage dump designed by an elf. I mean where’s the lava? The gold statues? The death traps?

No one seems certain about what’s become of Krash. There’s a rumor that the previous ruler tried to stop her from building her oft mentioned Brewmaster 5000 out of the entire platinum reserve. Krash, finding this quite unfair, proceeded to murder some random passerby, cue the military jumping her. I’m a little surprised that she didn’t make it considering that the entire military consists of one guy with no weapons, a few ill-fitting armor scraps, and no training whatsoever. Maybe the real fighters got the axe after failing to drive away the goblins outside? The axe! Get it diary!?

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 3rd of Granite

Ok, after a quick chat with the locals I’ve been promoted to Big-Ass Boss. That better not be a jab about my weight! Anyways, I guess it’s up to me now to try and salvage something out of this epic clusterfuck. First order: build more coffins!

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 7rd of Granite

DF tip of the day: one tile corridors kills fps and makes dwarfs slow.

Did some mapping of the fort and uncovered a lot of baffling designs in the process. For example, every other dwarf in charge apparently chose to make new noble accommodations rather than to use the existing ones. Clearly, the miners and engravers guild has been greasing palms here! I also noted that at least one of the previous rulers was wildly optimistic about future demographics; I mean we got like 250 bedrooms! Also, the whole place is littered with levers. Levers in the corridors, levers in the rooms, levers in the kitchen, levers everywhere. I aint touching nuthin’ before someone can certify they’re not the only thing preventing the mountain from crashing down on our heads.


Can you spot what's wrong in this picture?

There’s urgent need for a place to dump all the remains piling up in our halls, so I assigned our only miner to dig it out.



Yeah, fuck you too buddy.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 22nd of Granite

I’ve decided that since I don’t know anything about military matters I’ll just use the trusty old dwarf tactic called trapping-the-fuck-out-of-every-square-inch-of-everything. As soon as the goblins run out of puppies to torture and priceless antiquities to malhandle, we’ll turn the entrance into a death trap. And in a delightful twist, well use their own discarded weapons in said traps.

In other news, Ulminati (our major) decided we are prohibited from exporting tin items. Good thing we don’t have any and can’t go outside anyway.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 24th of Granite

I told the masons to get a move on the coffin-making; the ghosts of former residents have gotten increasingly annoying lately. Can’t even take an afternoon nap without one flying in through the wall, rattling his chains a bit, and overturning my barely-used granite table. I happened to like that table!
Renovations are on track, and by renovations I mean tearing everything down and rebuilding it properly. Some of the locals have had opinions about my designs. I happen to have a dwarf architecture diploma thankyouverymuch, don’t tell me how to do my job.

The dwarf in charge of justice came in and announced Estilerith (master of decline) was most displeased that his mandate had not been fulfilled, fingering Asmel Stukosem as the responsible part. This struck me as a bit odd since Estilerith is dead, much like Asmel. My jurisdiction doesn’t cover the afterlife, so I told him to fuck off.

All in all, this was a very bizarre day.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 6th of Felsite



If just seeing a ghost was enough to kill him, then he’d probably explode just from being close to a threatening goblin. Good thing I didn’t assign him to the military.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 13th of Felsite



Finally some progress! Still, no matter how many mangled remains we stick into coffins, there’s always more. I have no idea how so many dwarves could have died, but I suspect our most fearsome natural enemy – the sock (discarded on a battlefield). In any case, it looks more and more like my tenure will be about cataloguing dwarf pieces rather than chasing she-dwarf beard as I'd hoped. A shame.

Maybe I should use the mausoleum designs I’ve got left from architecture school and expand our body-dump a bit?


We're running out of space. Good thing I dug out some more.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 21st of Felsite

The siege is lifted! Finally we can go outside! I don’t really know why anyone would want to though. Way too much sun for our delicate undergrounder skin. Our militia captain immediately rushed out to fetch a worn pair of pants he said would go dashingly with his eyes.

Nil Zulbanavuz’s diary, 7th of Hematite

Ah the smell of miasma in the morning! Or is it afternoon? Hard to say when you live underground.