Watch me play a shitty game (Fallout 3) (COMPLETED!!)

Brother None said:

Have you not hear...OF THE DLC?!



Welcome...to Fallout! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

/has gone insane

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Is that a pumpkin on the floor to the left behind Samurai Jack?

I know what somebody is going to dress up as for Halloween!

REPLAYING with a Malkavian!

Thanks, btw.

That's a dead alien.

Bastards.

poocolator said:

Malkavian in Bloodlines was one of the best experiences I've had playing RPGs

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It's so fun being BaTShIt INSanE ! ! ! !

Omagash, that turtle dialog is best one I've read in long time :D Funny shit.

Yeah, now we can stomach the horrid Fail3 dialogs for a while more...

OMG SO WACKY AND RANDOM

LOL MONKEY CHEESE

And regarding the silliness, it's really nothing I can't cope with. Some games aren't meant to be analysed at a deep level. I'm actually kind of astounded that some people here will bitch and moan about every little inconsistancy instead of just enjoying the many good parts of this game.

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Wo ho ho, you're missing the concept of nerd rage in its very essense there, my friend.

Part 12 – Alice In Wonderland

Rivet City is lame. Can we nuke this place?

Nope. Megaton is the only city in this game we can blow up.



Fine... let’s just leave and never come back to this shitty boring town.

Actually, the main quest is gonna force us to come back here later on.

:evil:

Anyway, daddy ventured to Vault 112, and we have to follow him.

Apparently, the door to Vault 112 is hidden inside this garage. Therefore, we go inside the garage and search for the entrance.


Here it is. It wasn’t that hard to find. Unlike most vaults, this one isn’t locked or anything. It just opens from the outside.


A robot greets us as we enter the vault.

Umm... have you seen my daddy? Did he come here?



I don’t think it understood you.

Well, let’s head over to this Tranquility Lounge. Maybe daddy’ll be over there.


This is the Tranquility Lounge. There are people resting inside each of these pods.


Here’s Daddy Neeson. He seems to be resting peacefully inside one of these pods.

DADDY!!! :D :D :D

Yay!! We finally found him!! Umm... how do we get him out of this pod thing?

I don’t know... Maybe we should also enter one of these pods.

Why the hell would we do that? What the hell good could getting into one of these pods do?

I don’t know. But, it doesn’t seem like we have any other options...


Therefore, we decide to get into one of the pods. Conveniently, there’s an unoccupied one for us to use.

As we get into the pod, the game sends us into a virtual reality simulation:

FACT: Everything inside the virtual reality session is in black and white.


Some dude approaches us and tells us to talk to Betty.
FACT: For some reason, this dude’s face reminded me of John Malkovich.

Inside this virtual reality sim, we’ve been transformed into a little kid:



This place looks like a stereotypical retro 50’s era American neighborhood.


If we try to tell any of the residents that this place is actually a computer simulation, they’ll just ignore us and make nothing of it.

Anyway, we walk over to the playground, where we meet Betty:


Umm... where are we?



Right. So, have you seen daddy?



Wait a second. When the hell did you stop referring to daddy as 'the middle-aged guy’?

Well, that was a pretty stupid description, wasn’t it? Thus, I decided to change it to something that made more sense.

It’s almost like even the Bethesda writers realized how silly the ‘middle-aged guy’ line was. So, about halfway into the game, they decided to change it into something slightly less moronic.

Bethesda is improving!!


[Obviousness] She seems to have seen our daddy.



WTF is going on around here?





Why the hell would I do that? What would that do for me?


She promises to tell us what’s going on around here if we make Timmy cry.

Meet Timmy Neusbaum:

There’s a couple different ways to make him cry. We could just beat him up. But, instead, we use this dialogue option.


Then, he starts crying.


Yay!

Anyway, you promised to answer our questions now.

So, who are you?


FACT: Dr. Braun was the scientist that Daddy came here to search for.



[Perception] So, you’re actually a grown man who fantasizes about wearing dresses and being inside a little girl’s body?

So, in other words, this dude is actually an inane tranny pedophile? This dude would fit in well at the Codex...

Anyway, what have you done with daddy? You haven’t raped him, have you?



I don’t see him around here. Did you also change daddy’s appearance?



So, what’s the point of all this crap?



You didn’t answer my question.


We need to do some more of this bullshit before he’ll give us more information.


Here’s the dog that Betty/Dr. Braun was talking about.

DADDY!!


He can’t talk to us. He just barks if we try to.

This whole thing is stupid.

I agree. Let’s just beat up Dr. Braun and make him release us.


So, we go over to Betty and punch her a few times:


She gets mad at us for punching her.


Then, she zaps us and kills us.
FACT: I had to reload a previous savegame after this happened.

So, it seems that we have to do this quest for Dr. Braun.

I guess so. Let’s head over to their house.

While we’re heading over to the Rockwell’s house, we meet this lady:

Mrs. Dithers is only other person around here who realizes that we’re actually inside the Matrix.




Apparently, there’s a hidden failsafe terminal inside one of the abandoned houses around here. We can use this terminal to leave this simulation and avoid doing all of Dr. Braun’s quests.
But, performing all of Dr. Braun’s quests is the more interesting route; so, we’ll do that instead.

Anyway, we head over to the Rockwell’s house. We have to break up their marriage.

This is the inside of their house. I don’t think there’s enough bloom. Definitely not nearly enough.

Hey, Mrs. Rockwell. Would you please leave your husband and break up your marriage? Please?





So, all it takes to break up a marriage is for some stranger 12-year old to tell her that he saw her husband with someone else?

She didn’t even bother to question us? Shouldn’t she at least discuss this with the husband?

Whatever. We got the mission done. Let’s just head back to the weird pedophile dude.



Ok. So tell us why daddy came here.





So, daddy didn’t listen to you and you turned him into a dog?

Anyway, what do we have to do to get us and our dad out of this place?

She tells us that she’ll let us leave if we do a few more of these pointless tasks for her:


Therefore, we head over to Mrs. Henderson’s house:

This is her kitchen. We tamper with the oven.




The next time Mrs. Henderson tries to cook a meal, she explodes and dies.

This is getting tedious. How many more of these silly tasks do we have to do?



Fucking finally.


She tells us where she’s hidden a knife, which we need to use to kill everyone.

What the hell is the point of all this? What do you get out of all this?



So, you’re not gonna give us any other reason than just because you’re evil?

Who cares? Let’s just finish this and get out of here.


We get the knife and kill everyone.

We did all of your stupid bullshit missions. You better let us leave like you said you would.



We won’t miss you. You’re just as fuckin’ inane as everyone else we’ve met.


Anyway, this door appears behind us. We use this door to exit the Matrix and return to the real world.

Now that we're in the real world, we finally get the opportunity to talk to daddy:


End of Part 12.

Jesus Christ, that is beyond retarded, even for Bethesda standards. I wonder, is that the epitome of stupidity in FO3 or will it get even worse than that?

:shock:

Brain-bleach needed.

The alternate route has you magically summoning a squad of Chinese soldiers... or some shit. Basically, you fuck his entire simulation up. It's entertaining enough but the crappy Beth-like animations make it more laughable. It's the route I took when I played this thing, somewhere in-between uninstalling it and butchering Little Lamplight.

Wow, that was bizarre. It's like...a murder simulator inside a murder simulator. At first it just seem stupid as shit. But then it's like, woah, red pill or blue pill, dude. So I think: is Beth trying to be ironic or clever or something? Then I remember that this game is a fucking Todd abortion, and I realize that no, they weren't even attempting to get the player to follow a thought down a path he otherwise never would. It was just another 'wouldn't this be kewl!' turd grabbed out of the kewl bag and stuffed into Fallout.

So does advancement in the game require this VR pod bullshit participation? Can't you open Dad's pod or turn off the power or hack the control console or something? If not, lame. C & C vacuum.

Also: "i'm EVUL i want to tortur pepple hurr-hurr!"

The sad part is that that was probably the most creative part of the whole game.

And now tell me this game isn't for 12 years old kids who suffer from the irreversible retardation.

And why did Beth make that stupid black'n'white filter for this part of the game? It isn't like the rest of the game is any more colourful.

It's the eyeliner. Or maybe Bethesda are just throwing in a cunning clue to Betty's big fat middle-aged crossdressing skeleton in the closet.

Peter said:

The sad part is that that was probably the most creative part of the whole game.

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Very true.

If anyone is wondering, there IS an alternate solution to this quest (Bethesda is IMPROVING!). It's not as satisfying as personally killing everyone. The Chinese officers were lulzy though.

Jaesun said:

Peter said:

The sad part is that that was probably the most creative part of the whole game.

Click to expand...

Very true.

If anyone is wondering, there IS an alternate solution to this quest (Bethesda is IMPROVING!). It's not as satisfying as personally killing everyone. The Chinese officers were lulzy though.

Click to expand...

Yeah, the animation was terrible but funny... and the way the little man/girl bitches at you for ruining the fun.

Looks like Bethesda can't make up their mind. Why is this simulation black and white, but Operation: Anchorage is in color?

Operation Anchorage is in color?



You mean in one color?

Not black and white. But Operation: Anchorage was heavy on blue.

DriacKin needs to be given a custom tag, a codex achievement he unlocked by playing this abomination.

From the first moment you see the loungers you know it's a trap. So you open skills menu, choose science or repair, try to hack the terminals that control them, or try to open them with electronic lockpick, or use an explosives to destroy the controls and free dad, or bash the lounger's door with a crowbar. Oh wait...