SPSTW ARPG LP

Welcome to SPSTW ARPG LP.

Let's begin.


I view the opening screen.



I press Space.


I am introduced to my character.



I press Space.


I am informed of my task.



I press Space.


I am queried if I desire to accept this quest.



I press Space.


A tutorial begins.



I press Space.


I discover one can jump by pressing Space.



I press Space.


I learn how to engage my foes in contests of arms.



I press Space.


By pressing Space, one can launch an attack.



I press Space.


An armed struggle commences, in which I am wounded. After the combat, I am told one can ascertain the condition of one's physical health by means of pressing Space.





I press Space.


It would appear my metabolic processes have not yet cessated.



I press Space.


I then learn if one wishes to thwart a foe's attack, then by pressing Space, it is possible to attempt such a feat.



I press Space.


I am urged to now vanquish my enemy, having thus learned the secrets of the art of war.



I press Space.


Upon most skillfully slaying my opponent, I am rewarded with gold.




I press Space.


As I enter the depths of the wood, a new enemy appears. I attack and defeat him, only to be ambushed by his fellows. They wound me most grievously, but I can perform a masterful technqiue of swordsmanship should I press Space.





I press Space.


The ambushers are struck down. With victory upon victory, I am now a more seasoned warrior. I must now decide where to focus my skills.





I press Space.


I choose to increase my strength.



I press Space.


I happen upon a village after exiting the forest, where I find I can enter doors if I press Space.



I press Space.


I enter a local shop and purchase a potion.




I press Space.


Weary from the day's fights, I head to an inn to rest.




I press Space.


The inkeeper shows me a room, and tells me I can press Space to lay down.



I press Space.


As dawn comes, I awake from my slumber and arise my bed.



I press Space.


As I leave the inn, I am struck by a sigh of horrific tragedy. The town is in flames and an ominous figure stands before me. He proceeds to threaten and then attack me. A special sequence ensues, wherein I have but one chance to defeat him.







I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.



I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.




I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.




I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.




I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.




I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.




I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.




I press Space.


I realize I need to press Space more than once now and at last succeed in overcoming this villain.








I press Space. Thrice.

The fiend yet remains alive however and flees the scene to lick his wounds. I head out to chase him, nto the desert and there meet a strange beast whom I fell, but not before the creature poisons me. Remembering the potion I purchased in the now incinerated village, I quaff said draught to cure my ill.







I press Space.


The poison treated, I continue on my quest, finding the entrance to a castle at the end of the wastes. As I step foot into the hall, a dread monster emerges and assaults me. Despite it spitting fire and flying onto my head, it is slaughtered by my blade. With its death, I discover it was guarding a gold sword.







I press Space.


I gaze at this puzzle for a few moments as nothing occurs. I then have an ephinany-I must tap Space repeatedly.








I press Space. A lot.


With the recovery of this mystical artifact, it seems I have been imbued with the power of magic. I head out into the darkness outside with this newfound power only to stumble upon what looks as a vengeful spirit. I try with all my might to send it back to the land of the dead, but alas, it is immune to efforts. As all hope seems lost, I recall my recently acquired magical abilities.







I press Space.


If one presses Space in such circumstances, one can open the magic menu.



I press Space.


I choose to call upon the power of flame.



I press Space.


To cast a spell, one presses Space.



I press Space.


I hurl the fire of heaven at this unearthly ghoul, incinerating it. With another conquest, I grow ever more powerful. At the peak of my strength, I head towards the above of the fiend who torched the village, and challenge him to a final duel-one in which I, of course, emerge the winner. At his death, the conquered enemy knows nothing stands between myself and his master, whom I was apparently hunting for this entire time. If I am to defeat him and save the princess and the land, I must press Space.









I press Space. For great justice.


Although I deal the king a mighty blow, he strikes me with even greater force in return. As as I lay on the ground near death, my former enemy rushes in to aid me, offering me an arcane item of vast power. To rise from my feet and face the king now, I must summon all my strength...I must press Space.






I press Space.


With much pressing of Space, I rise and meet the King at arms. He has slain the knight who came to my succour though, as such I am own my own now. We trade many blows, yet mine are the mightier with the aid of the amulet, and the demon king falls upon the ground. I go to check upon he who was once my enemy but is now my savior. He lies dying on the floor of the palace. As I pay my respects the King leaps up from behind me, apparently not yet dead, and taunts me before revealing his true power. I am unphased though, and loose a firestorm of magic at him. With him weakened, I now prepare to finish this finally once and for all, by readying my ultimate attack.










I smack dick on keyboard.


Results:







I press Space.


I view ending credits.




I have won.


LP is over.

Goodbye.

Press the button of awesome to win?

Hmm, sounds familiar.

....i've forwarded this thread to Bioware.

memebot3.0b said:

I press Space.


I fail and am killed. I can try again however by pressing Space.

Click to expand...

You should've played this on ironman and started over if you died.

Holy shit! Its exactly like Trine!!!

If it had modern graphics and was featuring some nice elvish sex, it would became GOTY, no doubts here. More in-nuh-vah-shunal than DA 2, that's for sure.

RK47 said:

....i've forwarded this thread to Bioware.

Click to expand...

Not a problem, this was already the template for Dragon Age 2.

Nah, this game is much better than DA2: It does not force you to install some DRM/malware bullshit just to play the game properly and overall it has less bugs.

So what happened to the princess you pressed space to agree to rescue? DLC?

Everything done by pressing space? Developers are ripping off Mass Effect 2!

Was a funny read, but way to long. You could have shortened it down to maybe 10-20 pictures and it would have had the same effect except I would not have scrolled past most of it.

I know the amount of money spent on buying a controller can buy you a lot of Pizza rolls but if you want to make a quality LP just buy the damn controller. You wouldn't have died so much.

*Kudos if you know what I'm referencing.

Played it a couple of months ago, was laughing my ass off, thought it must have been made by a codexer or someone with a similar view at least.

Mark my words: something which "gameplay" is literally like this, plus Bloom, Soil Erosion and gay sex will be crowned GOTY in 2020.

Way better than Dragon Age 2 because it only lasts a few minutes and the few dialogue it has is better written than Bioware shit and free from faggotry.