Links to Codexian Reviews

[Redeye]

ITT we post links to reviews made in the Codexian style. (At other sites.)


I'll start:

IWD2 (yes its old)
Made me laugh.

 

[Destroid]

The first line cracked me up.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

this is something awful level at best.

 

[thesoup]

This guy thinks Black Isle is the studio behind the Baldur's Gate series.

 

[Stinger]

(or, at least, not permanently in my Must Kill Slowly Book, like those Troika faggots are)

Stopped reading there. Arcanum is brilliant and VTMB is pretty darn good (ToEE's still on my backlog but I hear that's also a really good dungeon crawler).

On topic This review of Kotor was surprisingly codexian for a Gamefaqs review.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

deuxhero is a codexer. Dunno if that's the same deuxhero but there are a lot of codexers at Gamespotfaqs.

 

[thesoup]

Could use some spellchecking.

 

[Roguey]

Yeah, I remember that place, a pale shadow of Old Man Murray. That Bill Dungsroman guy really hates the Infinity Engine games, yet he reviewed nearly all of them. Oh and ToEE too.

Playing this game in its unpatched state makes me feel guilty that I was so harsh on BIS’ games, especially IWD2 (which, for all its quixotic design choices, was still more or less playable out of the box). Witty dialogue and somewhat-creative quest design doesn’t cut the mustard if those facets are drowned in other brain-dead design elements. Does the patch help? Sure, much in the same way being trapped on a cruise liner full of drunken gay overweight mimes and having the deck railings reinforced helps. I personally feel that the members of Troika are assholes or at best terribly misdirected, deluded geeks. These guys insist on making games with the absolute worst NPCs (both in-game type and the handling thereof) in any modern RPG, they add stuff and then remove it without proper playtesting or QA, and they focus on unnecessary design elements while ignoring fundamentally important ones. I often get the impression while playing their games that they think annoying gamers is funny or, at best, they just have a terrible sense of humor. The NPC controls in Fallout 1 and 2, marriage in Fallout 2 (and ToEE), random encounters and save limitations in Arcanum, and dozens of things in ToEE (especially the Roll Count Tracker for stats generation), these all add up to a design team that needs to get its fucking priorities straight. Nobody wants to play games that have to be heavily patched to be bearable, and are a bogged-down miasma of confusing suck regardless.

Which is why Troika has, without a doubt, made the most accurate depiction of PnP D&D yet!

Let’s see: we’ve got a convoluted mess of a playing system, lots of undue attention to pointless detail while the bigger picture of streamlined game play suffers (despite efforts to repair the problems), utter ignorance of similar games that are better made, poorly-handled NPCs, unnecessarily long combat, a herky-jerky and overly-simplistic story, and a gaming experience that is by turns pretty cool and horribly annoying. Let me speak for all the PnP players who have been clamoring for an authentic D&D experience: thanks, Troika!

All of it's true!

On topic This review of Kotor was surprisingly codexian for a Gamefaqs review.

"Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords Fixes nearly everything from the first game, even if it doesn't have an ending."

Stopped reading there. When it starts out with a giant lie, I know there's going to be nothing but garbage inside.

 

[Surf Solar]

ITT we post links to reviews made in the Codexian style. (At other sites.)


I'll start:

IWD2 (yes its old)
Made me laugh.

 

[Volourn]

"It seems BIS peaked with BG2"

Moran.

And,. oh, PST was BIO's best game.

R00fles, FUKKIN', R00fles!