Review Three (!) Daily Games writers review Oblivion

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Bethesda Softworks; Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

<a href=http://www.dailygame.net>Daily Games</a> has used 3 writers to review <a href=http://www.elderscrolls.com/home/home.htm>Oblivion</a> for <a href=http://www.dailygame.net/news/archives/005531.php>Xtreme & total objectivity</a>. Two guys liked the game, one didn't. The final score? 9.3
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<blockquote><b>Randie Kilgore:</b> OK, I'll keep it short and sweet. Oblivion is one of the few games in recent history that lives up to the hype. </blockquote>Ok, Randie is a moron. Moving on.
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<blockquote><b>Chris Karalus:</b> I'd never disagree that Oblivion takes place in a massive world with lots of things to do, lots of classes and lots of items. ... I think Bethesda went for quantity over quality, and it shows.</blockquote>You don't like working at Daily Games anymore, Chris?
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<blockquote><b>Robert Dusseau:</b> In comparison to other games that attempt to do the same thing (not just RPGs), they do a wonderful job of implementing so many features together. ...
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Oblivion is head and shoulders above Morrowind, and nearly every single aspect of The Elder Scrolls franchise was greatly enhanced. You guys have to agree with me on that one. Good job to the developers!</blockquote>We shall call Robert "Deep Throat"
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<blockquote><b>Randie:</b> Oblivion has raised the bar for future RPG's, and you might think I'm a fanboy, but I have to give it a 9.5 out of 10.</blockquote>Definitely, a moron.
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<blockquote><b>Chris:</b> Yep, I'd have to call you a fanboy. My start to the game was to just wander off and walk the world. I found three or four ruins and hacked my way thru the dungeons while encountering a few fairly been-there-done-that bad guys. I fought zombies in one. I fought magic women in another. I killed a big bad magic user. But nothing really grabbed me in my initial journey. What am I doing here again? I killed some big bad dude, but was there a reason for it? So there's the chance you play it and you have a terrible first five or 10 hours and get turned off. The dungeons looked good, but there was still something fairly static and shaky about them. And the wet wall look wasn't a turn-on. Honestly, I started to get bored.</blockquote>If you are looking for reasons, Chris, you are definitely playing the wrong game.
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<blockquote><b>Rob:</b> And for me, Oblivion represents a true next-gen role-playing game. Its depth coupled with its beautiful graphics and impressive AI make it a product we only dreamed about 5 years ago. It's difficult to sum this up, other than to say it's one of the best games, RPG or not, that I've ever played.</blockquote>Let go off the dick, Rob.
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[kingcomrade]

Three of kingcomrade's alts review Doom 3.

Blahblah Talks: Finally! Hot off the presses (CD presses that is! haha) is Doom 3, the next in the immersive<tm> Doom series. It's been a long wait, so I'll get right to the point: I can't play this game because my screen is covered in crusty man-yonnaise. It's really that good.

Vault Dweller: That's right! It is quite possibly one of the best first-person shooters I've ever played! Just to give you an idea of how awesome this game is, there is this one part where you are walking down a hallway and you see a suit of armor lying in a corner. So I was like, "Awesome I need some armor" so I went to get it, and when I stepped on it the closet in front of me burst open and a monster jumped out!!11 HOLY SHIT!!

Twinfalls: 8===|} ~~ ^_^

Blahblah Talks: It goes without saying that Doom 3 has the prettiest graphics of any game that has come out ever. There are shadows and stuff walks around casting shadows, making for a very creepy environment. In a flash of genius, the developers at iD made all of the maps pitch black, forcing you to put down your weapons and use the flashlight to take aim. What was that? A monster? I'm scared!! lol!

Vault Dweller: Seriously. The monster design is one of the strongest points of Doom 3. There's nothing creepier than a really tall, spindly monster that throws fireballs. The animation and enemies are all super slow, just to give you that cinematic experience. There's also the flying heads, which totally scared me, and then the walking heads, a clever counterpoint to the flying heads (and perhaps their upside-down state is a subtle commentary on post-imperialist Western society in the 1950s? I think so).

Twinfalls: (. )( .) ~~ {|===8 (*o*)

Blahblah Talks: Now, the Doom series has long been known for its incredible depth, and Doom 3 doesn't disappoint. There are several engrossing choices for when it comes to slaughtering the foes of humanity!

Twinfalls: roffle!! ^_^

Blahblah Talks: First of all the mighty shotgun returns. In the interests of immersion<tm> the clever team at iD has created the shotgun of the future, which is only useful at point blank range! This makes the game approximately 2.3 times as scary because to hurt the enemy, you have to get right in his stupid face!

Vault Dweller: Personally, I preferred the plasma weapon. Nothing complements the high-tech motif of Doom like a deadly soap bubble. To add to the tension, the Christ-like geniuses at iD made the plasma balls move at a snail's pace. There's nothing that makes me more anxious than firing a dozen bullets and watch the enemy laugh in disgust. You really have to hand it to them, the forces of Hell just outclass humans of the future.

All together in chorus: In case we haven't made out case clear, you need to grab your mother's purse, run out to Best Buy, and buy this game right now before we come to your house and let Twinfalls loose on you! Ha ha that was totally funny

Twinfalls: O>-< ~~ {|==8 R8P3D! ^_^

edit: I just reinstalled this game. Man, I hate it.

 

[Fresh]

Three of kingcomrade's alts review Doom 3.

Blahblah Talks: Finally! Hot off the presses (CD presses that is! haha) is Doom 3, the next in the immersive<tm> Doom series. It's been a long wait, so I'll get right to the point: I can't play this game because my screen is covered in crusty man-yonnaise. It's really that good.

Vault Dweller: That's right! It is quite possibly one of the best first-person shooters I've ever played! Just to give you an idea of how awesome this game is, there is this one part where you are walking down a hallway and you see a suit of armor lying in a corner. So I was like, "Awesome I need some armor" so I went to get it, and when I stepped on it the closet in front of me burst open and a monster jumped out!!11 HOLY SHIT!!

Twinfalls: 8===|} ~~ ^_^

Blahblah Talks: It goes without saying that Doom 3 has the prettiest graphics of any game that has come out ever. There are shadows and stuff walks around casting shadows, making for a very creepy environment. In a flash of genius, the developers at iD made all of the maps pitch black, forcing you to put down your weapons and use the flashlight to take aim. What was that? A monster? I'm scared!! lol!

Vault Dweller: Seriously. The monster design is one of the strongest points of Doom 3. There's nothing creepier than a really tall, spindly monster that throws fireballs. The animation and enemies are all super slow, just to give you that cinematic experience. There's also the flying heads, which totally scared me, and then the walking heads, a clever counterpoint to the flying heads (and perhaps their upside-down state is a subtle commentary on post-imperialist Western society in the 1950s? I think so).

Twinfalls: (. )( .) ~~ {|===8 (*o*)

Blahblah Talks: Now, the Doom series has long been known for its incredible depth, and Doom 3 doesn't disappoint. There are several engrossing choices for when it comes to slaughtering the foes of humanity!

Twinfalls: roffle!! ^_^

Blahblah Talks: First of all the mighty shotgun returns. In the interests of immersion<tm> the clever team at iD has created the shotgun of the future, which is only useful at point blank range! This makes the game approximately 2.3 times as scary because to hurt the enemy, you have to get right in his stupid face!

Vault Dweller: Personally, I preferred the plasma weapon. Nothing complements the high-tech motif of Doom like a deadly soap bubble. To add to the tension, the Christ-like geniuses at iD made the plasma balls move at a snail's pace. There's nothing that makes me more anxious than firing a dozen bullets and watch the enemy laugh in disgust. You really have to hand it to them, the forces of Hell just outclass humans of the future.

All together in chorus: In case we haven't made out case clear, you need to grab your mother's purse, run out to Best Buy, and buy this game right now before we come to your house and let Twinfalls loose on you! Ha ha that was totally funny

Twinfalls: O>-< ~~ {|==8 R8P3D! ^_^

edit: I just reinstalled this game. Man, I hate it.

LOL @ that post

 

[bryce777]

That;s pretty fucking humorous. I am just glad I didn't have to sit through the same bullshit with doom 3 as with oblivion. doom 3:haunted house!

 

[Gwendo]

Why do you expose us to more moronic reviews of Oblivion? You're a bad influence to our mental health.

 

[Lemunde]

Is VD still going to be finding reasons to bitch about Oblivion several months from now? Bad game or not you eventually have to just let it go.

 

[Fresh]

ungrateful infidels

 

[Twinfalls]

I'm far more articulate than that

                                       .oOOOOooo..
                                  ..e oOOOOOOOOOOOOo.
                             ..elllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
                        ..ellllllllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
      ;,,.          .ellllllllllllllll OOOOOOOOO**"
      .;,,:,;`eeeeellllllllllllllllllle "**""'``
      .,;,,.`lllllllllllllllllllllle''
       .;;;`:llllll;;llllllllle''
      ; ",'`::lllllllllllle''
      ,.';`: :llllllle''
      "'`:'" ;eee@@el`
      ,;';'':%@@@@@@@.
      ';,'.:%%@@@@@@@*
       ';,.@@@@@@@@@@*
       ;;';';@@@@@@@@'
       ';';  ~@@@@@~

 

[kingcomrade]

Oh you didn't draw that, be quiet.

 

[bryce777]

I'm far more articulate than that

                                       .oOOOOooo..
                                  ..e oOOOOOOOOOOOOo.
                             ..elllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
                        ..ellllllllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
      ;,,.          .ellllllllllllllll OOOOOOOOO**"
      .;,,:,;`eeeeellllllllllllllllllle "**""'``
      .,;,,.`lllllllllllllllllllllle''
       .;;;`:llllll;;llllllllle''
      ; ",'`::lllllllllllle''
      ,.';`: :llllllle''
      "'`:'" ;eee@@el`
      ,;';'':%@@@@@@@.
      ';,'.:%%@@@@@@@*
       ';,.@@@@@@@@@@*
       ;;';';@@@@@@@@'
       ';';  ~@@@@@~

What is that a 5 year old?

 

[Rhombus]

Unfortunatly, the guy who doesn't like Oblivion is.. well...

Hey, I want to talk about the beginning. Do you guys get excited when you saw all the choices you have in the beginning? I mean, all the classes and the races and the massive character editor? Because I didn't. I've never seen so much choice, yet I'm not excited by it...

... Yeah, I know, you can pretty much just skip past all that stuff, but I see development money being spent here that, in my opinion, could have been better spent polishing up this wounded game.

What I really got tired of was that there were about 50 chests and barrels and bags and whatnot inside this ship. They were all searchable and the inside the ship, and they didn't take up a lot of real estate. Realistic? Sure. But it's tedious to have to search through every one of those containers.

Doesn't seem to be the person who enjoys CRPGs in general.. Way to get an objective view... two fanbois, and one totally unconcerned person who could really give a fuck.

 

[Section8]

I'm far more articulate than that

                                       .oOOOOooo..
                                  ..e oOOOOOOOOOOOOo.
                             ..elllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
                        ..ellllllllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
      ;,,.          .ellllllllllllllll OOOOOOOOO**"
      .;,,:,;`eeeeellllllllllllllllllle "**""'``
      .,;,,.`lllllllllllllllllllllle''
       .;;;`:llllll;;llllllllle''
      ; ",'`::lllllllllllle''
      ,.';`: :llllllle''
      "'`:'" ;eee@@el`
      ,;';'':%@@@@@@@.
      ';,'.:%%@@@@@@@*
       ';,.@@@@@@@@@@*
       ;;';';@@@@@@@@'
       ';';  ~@@@@@~

What is that a 5 year old?

It's the left-upper most bit of an airline hostess, with a horrible, swelling armpit tumour. She's gesticulating toward the emergency exit. The rest of her isn't shown here because it's actually Harrison Ford in drag saying "get off my plane" or "always bet on black." Take your pick.

 

[LlamaGod]

it's a sideways map of Florida

 

[Fresh]

I'm far more articulate than that

                                       .oOOOOooo..
                                  ..e oOOOOOOOOOOOOo.
                             ..elllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
                        ..ellllllllll OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
      ;,,.          .ellllllllllllllll OOOOOOOOO**"
      .;,,:,;`eeeeellllllllllllllllllle "**""'``
      .,;,,.`lllllllllllllllllllllle''
       .;;;`:llllll;;llllllllle''
      ; ",'`::lllllllllllle''
      ,.';`: :llllllle''
      "'`:'" ;eee@@el`
      ,;';'':%@@@@@@@.
      ';,'.:%%@@@@@@@*
       ';,.@@@@@@@@@@*
       ;;';';@@@@@@@@'
       ';';  ~@@@@@~

How did you get hold of a that private picture of mine?

 

[Section8]

Hey, yeah. I thought I'd seen that tattoo of 1s, Os and @s somewhere before, but I can't be expected to remember which dick belongs to which screen name.

 

[elander_]

Is VD still going to be finding reasons to bitch about Oblivion several months from now? Bad game or not you eventually have to just let it go.

Some jokes never get old. It's not his fault that these Oblivion reviews are such a barrel of laughs.