Review Idiotic Oblivion review at AC

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: Bethesda Softworks; Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

A premier site called <a href=http://www.associatedcontent.com>Associated Content</a> has challenged other sites for the much coveted title of <a href=http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/50989/the_elder_scrolls_iv_oblivion_rpg_game.html>The Most Idiotic Oblivion review to date</a>:
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<blockquote>Many RPG fans will agree that this could possibly be the greatest game of all time. If you are a fan of action/adventure games you will love Oblivion. <u>It is a giant step up from TES3: Morrowind, and even if you hated Morrowind you will end up going crazy over this game</u>.
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In the end, the choice of race does not make that big of a difference because you can get spells and rings that do anything that a certain race starts with, so don't fret too much.
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Oblivion uses a leveling system, which puts enemies and things you find around (like in dungeons) the same level as you, so it's never too easy or hard.
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Oblivion's combat system was just...kind of bad.
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Oblivion's lackluster story will have you going, "Huh?". It is pretty boring and straightforward. Betheseda probably didn't spend too much time writing a more than decent story because they focused so much on everything else. Even so, this story is good enough.
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(Wait a second, didn't you just say that the story is lackluster and pretty boring? How the fuck did it get to be "good enough" two sentences later? Good enough for what? - VD)
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This game lasts forever, because you can basically do anything you want. I cannot even count how many quests I have done so far. This game is great if you want to get through slow days fast. You can waste hours at a time without getting bored. Sadly, it has a long ramp-up time so you will not start having fun until you are about 15 hours into it, but by then you will love every second of it.</blockquote>So let me get this straight, the game has shitty combat, meaningless choices, boring and lackluster storyline, yet it's the bestest game evar that will last forever? Ok.
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[GhanBuriGhan]

Get over it, VD

 

[Thrawn05]

I stopped reading the review when the words "greatest" and "game" were put together.

 

[Vault Dweller]

Get over it, VD

It's this morning news, posted on Aug 16 2006 09:39AM.

 

[HanoverF]

Something tells me if he had done one quest he wouldn't be able to count how many he had done...

 

[Kortalh]

Sadly, it has a long ramp-up time so you will not start having fun until you are about 15 hours into it, but by then you will love every second of it.

Wait, what? If a book starts boring me after the first 15 pages, I put it down. Why would I spent 15 hours waiting for all the super fun that's going to eventually happen?

And what happens at 15 hours that makes it so much better than the things happening at 10 hours?

 

[Greatatlantic]

And what happens at 15 hours that makes it so much better than the things happening at 10 hours?

Your IQ goes below 60.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

And you start drooling a lot.

 

[dongle]

Prolly took 'em 15 hours just to get out of the starter dungeon.

 

[Levski 1912]

Prolly took 'em 15 hours just to get out of the starter dungeon.

The bloom awed them with such radiance that their brains atrophied.

 

[Direwolf]

Some people are still reviewing that game? Isn't there a law that if you don't review the game within 1 month of release, you're not allowed to review it for 10 years and only under "Good old days" policy?

 

[psycojester]

Oh come on Direwolf be fair, these guys probably only just cracked that complex "installing the game" puzzle

 

[Seboss]

Sadly, it has a long ramp-up time so you will not start having fun until you are about 15 hours into it, but by then you will love every second of it.

Wait, what? If a book starts boring me after the first 15 pages, I put it down. Why would I spent 15 hours waiting for all the super fun that's going to eventually happen?

That's why 95% of people put down Fallout 2 after a few minutes into the Temple of Trial_or_something.

 

[flabbyjack]

*Waiting patiently for a Morrowind-plugin mod for Oblivion, or Daggerfall for that matter*

BTW I tried to play Daggerfall but the towns were just too hard/time consuming to navigate... am I missing something?

 

[Twinfalls]

Either the map button or your synaptic functions.

 

[Zlaja]

You can tell what emotion an NPC is feeling just by the way that they talk and their facial expression.

So I guess they're all constapeted.

In the end, the choice of race does not make that big of a difference

Neither would me stomping on your head.

The sound is not too important to me, thanks to the iPod support

If this guy was shipped to Auschwitz he'd probably go "oh wow, nice drapes".

Hopefully the next installment in the series will focus more on combat.

Hopefully.

 

[LaDoushe]

I'm not sure if the characterization of www.associatedcontent.com as a "premier" website is necessarily accurate. One of the top articles on the front page is that science may soon allow for the regrowth of lost teeth, which is some sort of hillbilly wetdream. Also as far as I can tell its writing staff is volunteer, with one of the writers having a picture of a cat in lieu of her own pic. Pretty shaggy dog site if you ask me...

EDIT:

After searching the site, I found more articals about Oblivion, including this lollerific one:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/29996/the_elder_scrolls_iv_oblivion_a_players.html

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: A Player's Review
A Look at One of the Best Games of the Century
By B.Krisher
May 04 2006 07:48AM

First off, let me say, wow. Let me repeat it: wow, wow, wow. Bethesda Softworks’ The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion for PC and XBOX 360 is simply amazing, from the breath-stopping graphics to the spot-on voice acting to the amazingly complex and involved quests. From the moment you put the disc in your DVD drive, Oblivion grips you, pulls you in, and takes you over. This is a game you’ll think about in the shower, on your drive to work, while you’re dreaming. It’s just that good.

But then again, I'm sure VD had already found this back in May.

 

[Claw]

The century is still young, and there haven't been many good games released in it yet.
I mean, being labelled best game of the century when the century has barely started isn't necessarily great praise.

 

[whatusername]

That review of Oblivion makes kingcomrade look smart.

 

[Thrawn05]

The century is still young, and there haven't been many good games released in it yet.
I mean, being labelled best game of the century when the century has barely started isn't necessarily great praise.

Using my time machine, I came across this article posted by IGN for March 3rd, 2008...

The folks over at Bethesda Softworks have done it again. With three expansion packs for Oblivion and a new Construction Set designed for the Xbox 360, Todd Howard found time to grace us with the best game of the century, Fallout 3.

"We were really happy with Oblivion and felt that many of elements from that game fit well with the Fallout universe. My hope is that Fallout 3 will bring gamers who were turned off by many of complexities of the first two Fallout games into this very exciting vision of the future." said Todd Howard, producer of this awesome game.

When IGN testers got their hands on this game, they were blown away by the slick interface and the simplicity that was sorely needed in Fallout 1 and 2. "It was like Doom all over again, only better." proclaimed one tester. "There was no dialogue downtime. The game never lets go of you with the action."

The staff was also impressed with the cast. Such great voice talents as Bea Arthur, Gilbert Gottfried, and Lynda Carter bring life to each character. "Lynda is a really great voice talent," said Todd Howard. "I try to put her in any game I can think of."

All in all, Fallout 3 is the must have game of the year and the best game ever made in the 21st century. We can't recommend it enough.

The game is slated for release this coming Holidays 2008 for the Xbox 360 with HD-DVD drive.

 

[Levski 1912]

Judging by the "best game of the century" label thrown around so much by the major gaming websites, I must be millenia old.

 

[St. Toxic]

If this guy was shipped to Auschwitz he'd probably go "oh wow, nice drapes".

Auschwitz did have some really nice drapes.

Overall, the general review thing makes me believe there's like a mind control section somewhere in the actual main-quest Oblivion. I mean "It's pretty bad, but it's the best game I've ever played. I hate it, but one cannot other than love it" -- pretty obvious.

 

[Twinfalls]

So I guess they're all constapeted.

Worst medical condition ever - being turned into a Perpetual Hines