Review The most idiotic KOTOR review evar

[Vault Dweller]

Tags: BioWare; Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Wow, two really stupid <a href=http://www.bioware.com/games/knights_old_republic>KOTOR</a> reviews in one day! What are the odds of that? <a href=http://www.gamedreamz.com/index.cgi?m=stories&s=read&id=2053>This one</a> is written by <a href=http://www.gamedreamz.com>Game Dreamz</a>, a gayer-than-Christmas anime site. The score is <b>9.5/10</b> because "KOTOR is flawless. Nothing else is wrong and it’s a testament to Bioware’s ability to pay attention to detail and weave an exhilarating yarn."
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<blockquote>KOTOR is not a game. It’s a living; breathing world full of emotion, conquest, romance and epic battles
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The worlds themselves could also be labeled as characters. Huge, expansive forests contrast barren deserts and lush grasslands. The worlds, in a word, are GIGANTIC. And, there’s tons, and I mean tons, of sidequests and sightseeing to be found. In a sense, it’s almost difficult to leave each world due to the attachment you will have to the vistas and natives throughout. Never before, in an RPG or otherwise, did I feel like difference were actually being made due to my decisions.
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Where Morrowind was a vast, untouched realm of free-roaming adventure, ranging from dull moments to great moments, KOTOR puts you on a linear enough path to keep things exciting at all times. It’s much more focused and much more rewarding in the long run, and at the same time, you never feel like you are confined by its structure. Bravo to the developers.
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KOTOR utilizes a D&D twenty-sided-die rule-set for its extravagant, turned based battles. It’s a bit confining at first, but once you get accustomed to the nature of the battle system, it becomes intuitive, thus providing a strategic battle each and every time. The options allow you to make it more real-time and some of the later boss battles rival most straight-up action games on the market. </blockquote>I could never understand how people get to be so stupid. Must be the anime thing.
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Edit: For something even more stupid, take a look at their <a href=http://www.gamedreamz.com/index.cgi?m=stories&s=read&id=161>FOBOS preview</a>: "Being a huge fan of the original Fallouts, I know that this one is going to be just as good. Baulders Gate and Hunter were good games, but they could have been better. I'm hoping this is where Fallout really shines."
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[Transcendent One]

The review is clearly written by a moron, but I can't help but wonder about the FOBOS preview bit...

Why do people insist on misspelling certain names, like Baldur's Gate turning into Baulder's Gate or something like that. Is it that difficult to notice that a name is spelled a certain way?

Also this lovely quote

Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel is being developed by Interplay who are currently working on Baulders Gate 2.

I think it speaks for itself. PS yeah, I know he means DA2, but it's still funny as hell.

 

[geminito]

Are you sure that site isn't like The Onion? It so bad it has to be a joke! The KOTOR review seems sarcastic to me. For example, " The worlds, in a word, are GIGANTIC." That's some top-notch sarcasm!

 

[Vault Dweller]

Sadly, it's not. He most likely refers to the fact that the planets have more then one location to visit.

 

[Vault Dweller]

Why do people insist on misspelling certain names, like Baldur's Gate turning into Baulder's Gate or something like that. Is it that difficult to notice that a name is spelled a certain way?

It's a mystAry. BG is definitely one of the most misspelled names ever. It proves that despite the claims, the majority of people are illiterate and can't spell anything not supported by spell checks. Here is another example:

http://www.rpgdot.com/index.php#33757 - Balder's Gate.

 

[Otaku_Hanzo]

Hey! Watch it VD. I watch anime!

I think it's more like an age thing. Probably a young pimply teen who thinks Sephiroth is the coolest guy EVAR!

Personally, while I did like KOTOR despite it's flaws, I wasn't this messed up over it. Two moronic reviews in one day. What does this mean? :shock:

 

[Vault Dweller]

Personally, while I did like KOTOR despite it's flaws, I wasn't this messed up over it. Two moronic reviews in one day. What does this mean? :shock:

The morons are mutiplying at an alarming rate?

 

[dipdipdip]

How dare you! He put so much into his little review there.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

I say again, is anyone surprised?

 

[Dhruin]

I telll you what, VD...I'll make sure our guy doesn't have a typo in Baldur's Gate if you make sure you get your syntax right. Try than in this phrase: "a gayer-then-Christmas anime site". Deal?

 

[Spazmo]

Yeah, especially since he refers to it as Baldur's Gate in the actual newspost.

 

[space captain]

id like to get ahold of some of what these reviewers are smoking, or shooting, or eating, or whatever

KOTOR wasnt even as good as Final Fantasy 5 for SNES... in fact, it was alot worse... even with the "unique decision making system"

its not even in the same league as most PC RPGS

 

[Transcendent One]

While it seems the RPGDot guy actually made a typo, the errors in the FOBOS article certainly aren't typos.

Either way, I just don't understand how some of this shit happens. I've seen Morrowind <fans> refer to it as Morrow Wind and whatnot.

 

[Eclecticist]

Either way, I just don't understand how some of this shit happens. I've seen Morrowind <fans> refer to it as Morrow Wind and whatnot.

What is the world coming to! :shock:

 

[Greenskin13]

Better luck next time, Mr. Chan.

I telll you what, VD...I'll make sure our guy doesn't have a typo in Baldur's Gate if you make sure you get your syntax right. Try than in this phrase: "a gayer-then-Christmas anime site". Deal?

You made a typo. There are only two l's in tell.

 

[Otaku_Hanzo]

Re: Better luck next time, Mr. Chan.

You made a typo. There are only two l's in tell.

Dude.

lol

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Well... At least there wasn't any mention of TEH UBAH TURNBASED COMBAT! :wink: At least not as far as my eyes could see. I'd say he deserves one credit for that.

*waits for someone to come up with a quote saying "KOTOR is turnbased" in the language of moronica*

 

[dunduks]

Well... At least there wasn't any mention of TEH UBAH TURNBASED COMBAT! :wink: At least not as far as my eyes could see. I'd say he deserves one credit for that.

*waits for someone to come up with a quote saying "KOTOR is turnbased" in the language of moronica*

KOTOR utilizes a D&D twenty-sided-die rule-set for its extravagant, turned based battles.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I knew it!

I'll have to take back my credit.

 

[dojoteef]

Did these guys play a different KOTOR than I did? I swear there was no turn based combat in the game I played. Now maybe I don't remember very well since I've forgotten most of my gameplay experience from KOTOR, but whaaa!

 

[Otaku_Hanzo]

They had a setup similar to the Infinity Engine where you could go into options and have the game pause for certain things such as "character gets hit", "end of round", "enemy spotted", etc.

 

[Limorkil]

Did these guys play a different KOTOR than I did? I swear there was no turn based combat in the game I played. Now maybe I don't remember very well since I've forgotten most of my gameplay experience from KOTOR, but whaaa!

That was my reaction too. I thought maybe they were writing about KOTOR 2, but no.

And KOTOR is instantly forgettable. I only finished it a month ago and when I think back to the "good bits" my mind goes blank. I know it was a good game, but for some reason nothing stands out. I think its because it was so easy, even on the hardest setting, and the dialogue was good but not controversial or amusing. Compare that to Ultima VII, which I haven't played for 8 years or so but can remember like I played it last week.

 

[dojoteef]

Yeah just about the only thing I remember, is when I looked at the character screen and I was really evil, then my character would be breathing heavy and the have red fog around him. Oh and that final level where... damned if I know what happened in the final level. Yeah, very forgettable, though I do remember thinking it was a decently made game.

 

[MrSmileyFaceDude]

Wait just a minute! "Living, breathing world?" That's OUR marketing catchphrase!!

 

[Jung]

Wait just a minute! "Living, breathing world?" That's OUR marketing catchphrase!!

Yeah, but is yours also "full of emotion, conquest, romance and epic battles?"