Review Breathing radioactive lasers as Yahtzee reviews Skyrim

[DarkUnderlord]

Tags: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

<p>Yahtzee - about the only worthwhile thing over at the Escapist these days - <a href="http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/5020-The-Elder-Scrolls-V-Skyrim">has reviewed Skyrim</a>. The usual fun ensues with talk of it being more gratifying than the usual brick in a dishwasher,&nbsp;weapons being caught up your ass as Trolls eat your face off and plot nonsense.</p>
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<p>Also health potions and the positioning of rocks between you and your enemies.</p>
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<p>Thanks <strong>Fens</strong>!</p>

 

[dragonfk]

Wow. Not once did he make me smile during this review.

 

[Surf Solar]

I never understand what is the big deal with this guy. Is this shit supposed to be funny?

 

[Grunker]

I laughed once or twice. I like Yahtzee. Give him twenty minutes worth of time and he could be the Jon Stewart of video games - not terribly insightful due to the comedic spin but still more so than 90% of "serious" journalists.

He doesn't like RPGs very much and loves shooters, so he won't win any awards at the Codex, but at least he's honest about his preferences.

 

[Eyeball]

I wish to assert just how goddamn fucking elitist and Codexy I am by assuring everybody that I have never even once found Yahtzee funny, ha ha, the very idea is preposterous, dear chap!

The only thing more tiresome than Yahtzee fans who fawn over his every word are the people who constantly need to point out just how exceptionally unamused they are with him.

That having now been established, I liked the review. His experience largely seems to have mirrored mine, exploration, bugs, uselesness of anything but healing potions, weird balancing and the game being overall pretty enjoyable. Personally, I think the economy of the game's pretty good for an RPG - you always have a use for gold since training past skill level 50 or so is ridiculously expensive, leaving me constantly broke. All good RPGs should have a money sink like this, IMO, to encourage the player to explore more dungeons for more loot to buy themselves another level-up.

 

[Erzherzog]

He doesn't like RPGs very much and loves shooters, so he won't win any awards at the Codex, but at least he's honest about his preferences.

Aye but he's always had good taste in shooters. Hits on every single of Modern Warfare 3's flaws but I guess that's easy mode.

 

[GarfunkeL]

At least he did point out that Skyrim has plenty of flaws but since it's a better gaming experience than rail shooters, he'll applaud it anyway.

 

[Erzherzog]

We've gone over it before though, the RPG scene ain't tanking as hard as the rest of gaming so him praising a RPG isn't blasphemy.

 

[hoopy]

I can't even bring myself to watch it. I used to like Yahtzee for some reason, but now I just find him unbearably boring.

 

[Oriebam]

Not enough derp for you guys, huh?

check this shit out then
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/article ... unctuation

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/article ... u-People.2

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/article ... You-People

(in this case there's probably the excuse he shouldn't do this every week or at all but has to)

paging

As for Yahtzee, he barely tries to be funny nowadays, he never was a good reviewer or even very honest(not that this is supposed to matter amirite) and is also too "political"

Besides him not trying to be funny anymore(most likely he realized he doesn't need to keep any standards) I don't think there was any ever since he started his videos either

 

[Azrael the cat]

I laughed once or twice. I like Yahtzee. Give him twenty minutes worth of time and he could be the Jon Stewart of video games - not terribly insightful due to the comedic spin but still more so than 90% of "serious" journalists.

He doesn't like RPGs very much and loves shooters, so he won't win any awards at the Codex, but at least he's honest about his preferences.

He comes from a completely different gaming pedigree than most of the Codex - he's never had any interest in crpgs, and has been very clear about that. He is from the other side of the gaming market that got screwed by the merging of console and PC gaming into one big clusterfuck. Think of it like looking into a parallel universe, except where the Codex would ordinarily lie, there are lots of angry fans of PS1/2 era platformers, Silent Hill games and Mario speed-runners. They didn't get quite as screwed as we did, but given that I sure as fuck haven't seen any realy successor to Silent Hill 2 yet, and platforming seems to be as dead as isometric turn-based combat, I have some sympathy for their situation.

So basically you've got a guy who hates the modern gaming scene as much as we do, for some of the same reasons as we do, but doesn't share any of our taste in games and probably isn't a very good source of information about whether a crpg is going to be any good.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

So the game is lacking because you do not see the gratification of children corpses smoldering alongside their parents?

What the fuck is wrong with these people? What does it even mean? They are completely subhuman, viewing the world in a completely alien subhuman way.

Fuck, they limited the comments to fagbook users, so I can't even comment on their idiocy.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Some people play games not to...play a game, but to feel things. When they kill characters, they aren't killing characters, they are killing people. So they think the only reason one would want children to be killable is that if you got some sort of experience out of it. Probably a sexual thrill, as anyone that would want such an evil thing in the game is most likely a kiddie fiddler.

 

[corvus]

Some people play games not to...play a game, but to feel things. When they kill characters, they aren't killing characters, they are killing people.

So I came to this one point where I was massacring the Legion forces at the Fort, and I ran into some children. I'd been ruthlessly slaughtering everyone else here, and my character was a psychotic murderer---a cannibal, who'd help someone out and then chainsaw them to pieces while they were thanking him. So it only made sense that I'd murder the kids too, right? But---I didn't feel right about it. I'd gotten some moral twinges before while RP'ing as this guy, but--not like this. I gulped and held down the button to use my Ripper on the child, but---he screamed, ran away, and I didn't chase him. I cringed at his cries for help and hated myself for trying this. I just left the Fort in disgust. This is one of the strongest experiences I've had in gaming.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Some people play games not to...play a game, but to feel things. When they kill characters, they aren't killing characters, they are killing people. So they think the only reason one would want children to be killable is that if you got some sort of experience out of it. Probably a sexual thrill, as anyone that would want such an evil thing in the game is most likely a kiddie fiddler.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Some people play games not to...play a game, but to feel things. When they kill characters, they aren't killing characters, they are killing people.

So I came to this one point where I was massacring the Legion forces at the Fort, and I ran into some children. I'd been ruthlessly slaughtering everyone else here, and my character was a psychotic murderer---a cannibal, who'd help someone out and then chainsaw them to pieces while they were thanking him. So it only made sense that I'd murder the kids too, right? But---I didn't feel right about it. I'd gotten some moral twinges before while RP'ing as this guy, but--not like this. I gulped and held down the button to use my Ripper on the child, but---he screamed, ran away, and I didn't chase him. I cringed at his cries for help and hated myself for trying this. I just left the Fort in disgust. This is one of the strongest experiences I've had in gaming.

Jesus Fucking CHRIST. Kill it with fire!!!

That qualifies for the fear and loathing in fandom thread.

 

[Excidium]

Some people play games not to...play a game, but to feel things. When they kill characters, they aren't killing characters, they are killing people. So they think the only reason one would want children to be killable is that if you got some sort of experience out of it. Probably a sexual thrill, as anyone that would want such an evil thing in the game is most likely a kiddie fiddler.

Jesus fucking Christ.

 

[tindrli]

good review!!!

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Disgusting subhuman LARPERS! Mondblut was right all along!!!

 

[Shannow]

Entertaining review without major skyway'esque nonsense (from what I could tell).

Why do people even bother whining about Yahtzee? I mean if he says plain wrong or derpy stuff...ok. But this time there was "whine, whine" without any specific reason (apart from: "Hurr he not funny durr...).

 

[Clockwork Knight]

So I came to this one point where I was massacring the Legion forces at the Fort, and I ran into some children. I'd been ruthlessly slaughtering everyone else here, and my character was a psychotic murderer---a cannibal, who'd help someone out and then chainsaw them to pieces while they were thanking him. So it only made sense that I'd murder the kids too, right? But---I didn't feel right about it. I'd gotten some moral twinges before while RP'ing as this guy, but--not like this. I gulped and held down the button to use my Ripper on the child, but---he screamed, ran away, and I didn't chase him. I cringed at his cries for help and hated myself for trying this. I just left the Fort in disgust. This is one of the strongest experiences I've had in gaming.

Patrolling the internet almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

 

[Metro]

Apparently the cool thing to do now is to rip on people who rip on Yahtzee. Or is it to rip on people who rip on people who rip on Yahtzee? Let's ask Mr. Owl:

 

[Peter]

So basically you've got a guy who hates the modern gaming scene as much as we do, for some of the same reasons as we do, but doesn't share any of our taste in games and probably isn't a very good source of information about whether a crpg is going to be any good.

Actually, if I recall correctly, he's a big fan of Torment, Looking Glass games (especially Thief) and adventure games, so he has some rather favourites.

I more or less agree with what you said, but I felt that that should be pointed out.

 

[Demnogonis Saastuttaja]

It's always cool to rip on somebody.

 

[Rivmusique]

So I came to this one point where I was massacring the Legion forces at the Fort, and I ran into some children. I'd been ruthlessly slaughtering everyone else here, and my character was a psychotic murderer---a cannibal, who'd help someone out and then chainsaw them to pieces while they were thanking him. So it only made sense that I'd murder the kids too, right? But---I didn't feel right about it. I'd gotten some moral twinges before while RP'ing as this guy, but--not like this. I gulped and held down the button to use my Ripper on the child, but---he screamed, ran away, and I didn't chase him. I cringed at his cries for help and hated myself for trying this. I just left the Fort in disgust. This is one of the strongest experiences I've had in gaming.

This is so fucking retarded...

There aren't even chainsaws in Skyrim

 

[Mayday]

It's always cool to rip on somebody.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s3fvEgs ... re=related