Crispy™ I am really worried about Crispy

[PorkyThePaladin]

We mess with King Crispy a lot, but I think it's not a stretch to say that he is one of our favorite and most beloved Codexers. He has not shown up in Shoutbox in something like a week, and I hope he is ok. But if he is going through some existential crisis, I want to let his old ornery arse know that we are all behind him (and not just for anal sex).

So if you are not a dink, show your support for one of the pillars of this here forum.

 

[IDtenT]

I'd trade Porky for ChrisP.

 

[Beans00]

Well he's some of the only social interaction you get, so hopefully for your sake he comes back soon.

 

[H. P. Lovecraft's Cat]

This is gay

 

[Beastro]

Worrying that someone hasn't been in Shoutbox for a week is like worrying that someone hasn't been seen in the local crackhouse for a week.

It's a good sign.

 

[ds]

I'd trade Porky for ChrisP.

Can we trade both of them in?

This is gay

So is your new avatar. Put the cat back.

 

[Gammer]

It's sad to think that all crispy will be remembered for is just another COVID vaccine victim statistic

 

[Maxie]

It's sad to think that all crispy will be remembered for is just another COVID vaccine victim statistic

crispy has more going for him, like he's stolen five hundred bucks once

 

[DarkUnderlord]

I'm really worried about you really worrying about Crispy.

 

[Haba]

You should be more worried about the fact that I have not wished for Crispy to be banned for months.

Yes. It is that bad.

Pray for Crispy.

 

[Immortal]

We mess with King Crispy a lot, but I think it's not a stretch to say that he is one of our favorite and most beloved Codexers. He has not shown up in Shoutbox in something like a week, and I hope he is ok. But if he is going through some existential crisis, I want to let his old ornery arse know that we are all behind him (and not just for anal sex).

So if you are not a dink, show your support for one of the pillars of this here forum.

No.

 

[Fedora Master]

Behead Crispy

 

[IDtenT]

Behead Crispy

If you're going to do it, do it properly.

Kill Crispy. Behead Crispy. Roundhouse kick a Crispy into the concrete. Slam dunk a Crispy plushy into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Crispies. Defecate in Crispy's cornflakes. Launch Crispy into to sun. Stir fry Crispy in a wok. Toss Crispy into an active volcano. Urinate into a Crispy's coffee. Judo throw Crispy into a wood chipper. Twist Crispy's heads off. Report Crispy's posts to the Infinitron. Karate chop Crispy in half. Curb stomp Emma Watson. Trap Crispy in quicksand. Crush Crispy under an elephant. Eat Crispy. Dissect Crispy. Exterminate Crispy in the forum. Stomp Crispy's skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate Crispy in an oven. Lobotomize Crispy. Mandatory neutering for Crispy. Grind Crispy's testicles in a mortar. Drown Crispy in old liquid coolant. Incinerate Crispy with a hot heatsink. Shove Crispy into an old dusty PC case from the 90s. Kick Crispy off a cliff. Feed Crispy to the lions. Slice Crispy into potato chips.

 

[H. P. Lovecraft's Cat]

This is gay

So is your new avatar. Put the cat back.

Can't, Infinitron has to do it. He never saves my avatars.

 

[Atlantico]

I'd trade Porky for ChrisP.

omg u doxx chris p

u 1337 haxx0r

 

[Gilius Thunderhead]

I'll pitch in $20 to finally get Crispy laid, if that's what it takes.

 

[Mortmal]

I'll pitch in $20 to finally get Crispy laid, if that's what it takes.

20$? That's already way too much. All it takes is a few fresh cucumbers from time to time for Crispy to have a satisfied sexual life.

 

[King Crispy]

I'm good. Actually taking care of mom right now. She literally broke her hip lol and probably has kidney cancer, might have to have that removed.

If I don't take care of her then I can't yell down the stairs asking where the fuck my Pop Tarts are anymore.

Thanks for the concern.

 

[Maxie]

I'm good. Actually taking care of mom right now. She literally broke her hip lol and probably has kidney cancer, might have to have that removed.

If I don't take care of her then I can't yell down the stairs asking where the fuck my Pop Tarts are anymore.

Thanks for the concern.

is your mum single? is your mum hot?

 

[Hydro]

She literally broke her hip lol

Don’t despair man, she’s still good at giving a head to the local crackheads.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

I'm good. Actually taking care of mom right now. She literally broke her hip lol and probably has kidney cancer, might have to have that removed.

If I don't take care of her then I can't yell down the stairs asking where the fuck my Pop Tarts are anymore.

Thanks for the concern.

Hey, if this is a real post, all the best to your mom. I was kinda kidding around earlier, but if it's serious, I hope she recovers quickly and has another 30-40 good years.

 

[0sacred]

*counts on fingers and toes* wait a minute... if Crispy's mom is still alive she must have found the Fountain of Youth

 

[Haba]

*counts on fingers and toes* wait a minute... if Crispy's mom is still alive she must have found the Fountain of Youth

She is the Holy Grail, just like in Fate.

 

[Stella Brando]

Has Crispy been seen since the Trump shooting?

Seems like he disappeared on 7 July, exactly a week before.

I'm sure it's nothing.

 

[Beastro]

Behead Crispy

If you're going to do it, do it properly.

Kill Crispy. Behead Crispy. Roundhouse kick a Crispy into the concrete. Slam dunk a Crispy plushy into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Crispies. Defecate in Crispy's cornflakes. Launch Crispy into to sun. Stir fry Crispy in a wok. Toss Crispy into an active volcano. Urinate into a Crispy's coffee. Judo throw Crispy into a wood chipper. Twist Crispy's heads off. Report Crispy's posts to the Infinitron. Karate chop Crispy in half. Curb stomp Emma Watson. Trap Crispy in quicksand. Crush Crispy under an elephant. Eat Crispy. Dissect Crispy. Exterminate Crispy in the forum. Stomp Crispy's skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate Crispy in an oven. Lobotomize Crispy. Mandatory neutering for Crispy. Grind Crispy's testicles in a mortar. Drown Crispy in old liquid coolant. Incinerate Crispy with a hot heatsink. Shove Crispy into an old dusty PC case from the 90s. Kick Crispy off a cliff. Feed Crispy to the lions. Slice Crispy into potato chips.

I never knew Wesley Willis made a song about killing Crispy.

I imagine it would sound a lot like: