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In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

IronicNeurotic

Arbiter
Joined
Dec 2, 2010
Messages
1,110
But to go as far as to claim people will get an understanding of this mindfuck seems wrong.

I'd really argue that. The final route takes extra care to give an "explanation" to everything that is happening.

I mean its still a mindfuck I agree, but if you take it at face value it does "make sense".
 

LundB

Mistakes were made.
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
4,160
Are those supposed to be spiked shoulderpads on the punk pigeons?

Codex doesn't have an emote for what I feel at this moment.

Of course they're spiked shoulderpads. Every self-respecting RPG has at least one villain with them. Hatoful Boyfriend is no exception.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
000.jpg

RK47.jpg
: Waaaaaaaaah! It's the doctooooor! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
shuu.jpg
: ......is that all? I'm going home.
RK47.jpg
: S-sorry! I just... hadn't thought you'd actually come. But I didn't have anything better to do, so I decided that even if it was a 0.05% chance it was still worth trying.
shuu.jpg
: You invited me based on a chance like that? Fascinating. I think I want to try studying primate ethology next. That aside, what did you want?
RK47.jpg
: I wanted to go to the festival with you!
shuu.jpg
: A festival? Forgive me, but I don't ascribe to idle superstition.
RK47.jpg
: I think 99.95% of the people there will be there just for fun, not religion...
shuu.jpg
: ...very well. I shall accompany you.
ED::yeah:

shuu.jpg
: In exchange for your left arm, of course.

ED::what:

RK47.jpg
: M-my left arm..!?
shuu.jpg
: Oh, would that pose problems to your active and youthful high-school lifestyle? I shall accept a lock of your hair instead, then.

ED: How... romantic?

RK47.jpg
: U-umm... okay.

Yup, he's a pervert. Yippee.

ED: RK47-chan, I fear you may be in over your head, no matter how much you like perverts.

001.jpg

RK47.jpg
: You mean even you like fireworks, sir!?
shuu.jpg
: Naturally! Such potential... If only I could be so grossly incandescent. Hohoho.

I'm not sure I want to know what he's thinking about.

shuu.jpg
: I enjoyed myself tonight. Thank you, miss RK47.

And so he left, a satisfied expression on his face. I'm a little worried that he was trying to study me, but I'm glad he had fun!

002.jpg

cafeyellow.jpg
: See y'all around, Kenzaburou. Oh. Hey, RK47.
RK47.jpg
: ?

Rabu, finally heading home after staying in the cafe for much of the day, gestures to me on his way out the door.

cafeyellow.jpg
: Here. This is your tip.
RK47.jpg
: It's..!

The magical candy from the pocket of an old lady from Osaka! So young men from Osaka can do it, too!

cafeyellow.jpg
: See y'all around!
cafeblue.jpg
: Good day to you, Rabu.

Near the end of the workday...

cafeblue.jpg
: I think it is time to close up. Would you care for something, RK47? It won't be as good after sitting overnight.
RK47.jpg
: Is there any tonjiru left?
cafeblue.jpg
: Of course. Here you are.
RK47.jpg
: Mmmmmm! Tonjiru from a fancy cup is the best! Mmmm! ...by the way, mister Urushihara?
cafeblue.jpg
: Yes?
RK47.jpg
: Mister Rabu comes here every day, right?
cafeblue.jpg
: He does, yes.
RK47.jpg
: I wonder what he does... is he a night security guard, or something?
cafeblue.jpg
: A chauffeur, apparently. He is generally out all night. He likes to come here to relax before work.
RK47.jpg
: A budgerigar who works at night!?
cafeblue.jpg
: There are those among us parrots who prefer the night. The moon is wonderfully calming, on clear nights. Rabu is renowned for being a very careful andn reliable driver.

And here I took him for the type to go wild behind the wheel! Hmm, haven't I met another careful driver recently..?

003.jpg


I think I'll get some udon and go home before I get life counseled.

Music: Nice night for a stroll... alone. Hohohoho.

004.jpg

RK47.jpg
: Good evening, doctor!
shuu.jpg
: ......!
shuu.jpg
: Ah, it's you. Is this any hour for a high school student to be wandering about?

Huh? There's mud on his wing.

shuu.jpg
: Little of this city's nocturnal entertainment is to be admired. Perhaps you should go home.

005.jpg


Should we take the lovely Doctor Shuu's advice and head home? After all, it's dangerous to walk at night, unpleasant... events could occur.

Or should we first ask why he too is out and about at such an uncivilized hour, with mud on his wing, no less?
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
how will RK-chan know the workings of Shuus heart if she doesn't ask?

At this point, I think it's safe to say KKKodexia is hell-bent on the love doctor. It might be worth doing the occasional choice for us to make the updates last longer.
 

LundB

Mistakes were made.
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
4,160
how will RK-chan know the workings of Shuus heart if she doesn't ask?

At this point, I think it's safe to say KKKodexia is hell-bent on the love doctor. It might be worth doing the occasional choice for us to make the updates last longer.

Yeah, that's what I figured I'd start doing at this point. Main reason I haven't already is laziness.:oops:

I can only handle so much of this at once.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,140
003.jpg

:lol: I should be horrified, but I can't stop laughing. I feel the Warp Birdies overtaking me... IT is a GOOD PAIN.

original.jpg


Damn, I was about to post something like that.
 

LundB

Mistakes were made.
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
4,160
In this update: Shuu disposes of garbage, and we bear witness to the most realistic gangland romance since West Side Story.

Music: Waste Disposal at Nighttime

000.jpg

shuu.jpg
: Yes?
RK47.jpg
: What are you doing out here, sir?
shuu.jpg
: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was on my way home. I just happened to pass by.
RK47.jpg
: But... if you were just walking around, how'd you get all muddy?
shuu.jpg
: ...... I had forgotten that primates retain their keen vision in the dark... Informative, indeed. Thank you, miss RK47. Good night.
RK47.jpg
: W-wait! You didn't answer my question!
shuu.jpg
: ...throwing something away.
RK47.jpg
: Huh..?
shuu.jpg
: I was disposing of some things I no longer needed.

And so he hurried away into the night. Throwing something away? What? Littering is bad, doctor!

ED: Yes RK47-chan, littering is bad. Maybe you can teach the doctor this with the power of your love.

001.jpg


I guess my summer job is over... I'll miss this place.

cafeblue.jpg
: Thank you for everything, miss RK47. It's been a pleasure.
RK47.jpg
: Likewise! Thank you for everything, mister Urushihara! I think I'll be back here sometime as a customer!
cafeyellow.jpg
: Y'all retiring early?
cafeblue.jpg
: Miss RK47 is a student, and so must return to here studies with the turning of the leaves.
RK47.jpg
: I haven't even finished half my summer homework! \(^o^)/
cafeyellow.jpg
: Doing the last half in one week? I reckon you'll do just fine. Gonna feel real lonely around here without you, RK47. Least Kenzaburou ain't going anywhere.
cafeblue.jpg
: Naturally not.

Rabu sips from his cup. I think after working here for a month, I can safely say that he accounts for the majority of the cafe's business. Everybirdie who comes here probably thinks of it as an oasis in the city – an island of soothing parakeet in the sea of urban life. It's kind of a pity that so few people come in...

[door entrance ringing]

RK47.jpg
: Oh! Welcome! Azami! You came!

002.jpg


When did I become your protege?? Okay then.

RK47.jpg
: Yay! Have a seat, please!
cafeyellow.jpg
: A...Azami, is that you..!?
azami.jpg
: !

Her expression suddenly hardens. It feels like the cafe is going to burst! It feels like one of those scenes when the retired cop finally faces down the mob boss, just before the bullets start flying!

RK47.jpg
: D-do you know each other..?
azami.jpg
: You might say that... You disappear one day and then turn up sipping tea in a place like this!? Left us all behind, have you!?
cafeyellow.jpg
: Azami, I..!
azami.jpg
: How do you think I felt these past six months!?

She looks ready to fly at him any moment.

RK47.jpg
: U-umm, Azami! I don't know what's happened between you two, but mister Rabu is a nice man now! He drives cars and gives out candy! Please, forgive him!

ED: Nice men and pedophiles. Both drive cars and give out candy.

azami.jpg
: Stay out of this, kid. It doesn't concern you.
cafeyellow.jpg
: ......
RK47.jpg
: Wh-what happened, mister Rabu? I've never seen her this mad...
azami.jpg
: Since when are you calling yourself Rabu?

Music: Hell's Birdies.

003.jpg

azami.jpg
: I remember your sexy, raptorous eyes back then! He used to be a living legend, kid. The leader of the toughest bikers around. Back then... there wasn't a bird on the night roads who didn't know the name of Hosokawa Blaster.

004.jpg

azami.jpg
: I was young, then. Every one of us Hell's Birdies would have followed you to the ends of the earth! And we all knew we would have gotten there without a single traffic violation!
RK47.jpg
: S-since when do biker gangs obey traffic laws!?
azami.jpg
: You don't get it, kid. You're still a rookie. You can Ride with the Law. Wh--
cafeyellow.jpg
: “When you Ride, you Ride on the Inside”...
azami.jpg
: You were pretty famous for your strong ideals. Riding with the Soul, as wild as any other gang, but never breaking the law... you were my hero! But a hero doesn't run away. And you did. As soon as I confessed to you, you were gone...

Done with the gang tales, on to the love story.

cafeyellow.jpg
: Azami... I can tell, I've hurt you. I'm sorry. But...

Tension crackles in the air. Only mister Urushihara remains exactly as he was when it all started, slowly polishing glasses behind the counter. So mister Rabu used to lead a biker gang, and his real (fake?) name is Hosokawa Blaster... This entire situation seems extremely out of place here. Wait... haven't I seen the name 'Blaster' somewhere before..?

cafeyellow.jpg
: Will you listen to me, Azami?
azami.jpg
: It's a little late for that! Six months of tea and cake, and you look like mister fava bean!
cafeyellow.jpg
: M-mister fava bean!?

005.jpg

azami.jpg
: I don't like fat men! All my love for you burned up long ago.

Azami subjects mister fava bean to a harrowing tirade over his new physique. At this rate mister fava bean won't be able to get a word in edgewise... Has she really stopped loving mister fava bean?

006.jpg


ED: I'm making this choice, since I want a longer update, and the 'right' choice is clearly the scooter with 'Blaster' written on it.

RK47.jpg
: Azami, I don't think you've forgotten mister fava bean!
cafeyellow.jpg
: What's all this, RK47?
RK47.jpg
: I think you think about him all the time even now!
azami.jpg
: What are you talking about, kid?
RK47.jpg
: I know it!

1
007.jpg

cafeyellow.jpg
: !!!
azami.jpg
: !!!

I saw it when we first met. Writing his name right on her vehicle like that... she loves him, I'm sure of it!

RK47.jpg
: You still like mister fava bean, right, Azami?
cafeyellow.jpg
: Uhh, RK47... my name isn't--
RK47.jpg
: I saw it with my own two eyes! When you gave me a ride home, and a lecture on traffic law!
azami.jpg
: Y-you're pretty sharp, for a human, kid..! She's right, I haven't forgotten you. What a sad story. You left without even saying no, and I'm still chasing your shadow...
cafeyellow.jpg
: Azami, I--
azami.jpg
: Trying to sympathize with me? No, thanks. I've had enough of that. You threw me away. And there's nothing that can change that.
cafeyellow.jpg
: No, Azami! Listen to me! I never threw you away! I... I-I didn't know if I could settle down with you. I was an outcast. I was a hero on the midnight roads, but would I be a good father? Think about it! Any guy will panic a little when the girl he likes confesses like that!

Yes, but... is the hero of the midnight riders realliy supposed to be that timid?

cafeyellow.jpg
: I sat down, and I thought. I had to go straight. I couldn't have made you happy like that!
azami.jpg
: You...
cafeyellow.jpg
: I'm sorry I left you behind. I was planning to come back to you when I'd saved money, but... that wasn't good either. Maybe this is destiny. Like Billiken said... our souls are being tested even now.
azami.jpg
: Hosokawa Blaster... your eyes look like they did back then.
cafeyellow.jpg
: Azami! Enough girl-talk! Marry me!
azami.jpg
: Of course!

008.jpg


ED: THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING! IS IT OVER?! HAVE I SURVIVED THIS GAME WITH SANITY MOSTLY INTACT?!? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!
:yeah:
:bounce::bounce::dance: :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::bounce::bounce:


009.jpg


:rage:

010.jpg


ED: Fuck you RK47-chan. Fuck you so much.

Who did that? Who started the ending scene there!?

RK47.jpg
: Geez! ...that was kind of amazing, mister Urushihara.
cafeblue.jpg
: Yes, a little excitement here and there is not a bad thing. Such things just make our lives richer.
RK47.jpg
: I wonder if my life is richer now?
cafeblue.jpg
: No doubt it is. Well then, a few more hours until we close, miss RK47.
RK47.jpg
: Yes, sir!

ED: And then the game was an advertisement for a cafe.

011.jpg

012.jpg


The soothing Mecca for all such people-- Torimi Cafe – Poko's Forest

013.jpg


Curry to die for!

014.jpg


Right in the middle of Kobe, just a little ways from Osaka! And if you still haven't had your fill of avian company, the zoo is just around the corner!

The excellent, fantastic Torimi Cafe. The birds are waiting here for you! (As of September, 2011. Please check the website for more recent information.)

ED: The website is real bros: http://birdcafe.jp This is a real place.

015.jpg

016.jpg


ED: Yeah, not going to trick me the same way twice, you evil pigeon-fucking bastards.

017.jpg


ED: :hmmm:

018.jpg


I slept way too late! School starts today, right? I'm gonna be late!

019.jpg

Kazuaki.jpg
: Oh, hello, RK47!
RK47.jpg
: Sir! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I overslept!
Kazuaki.jpg
: Overslept..?
RK47.jpg
: ...aaah! My homework! I forgot to bring my homework!
Kazuaki.jpg
: Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, RK47?
RK47.jpg
: Huh?
Kazuaki.jpg
: What's the number in the top left-hand corner say?
RK47.jpg
: Oooh...
Kazuaki.jpg
: You're just a little bit early.
RK47.jpg
: Waaah...
Kazuaki.jpg
: Though, since you're here... could you lend me a hand for a bit, RK47?
RK47.jpg
: Lend you a hand?
Kazuaki.jpg
: I was about to start grading the freshmen's exams, and I thought maybe you could help, if you don't have something else... of course, you have a test in September, so if you want to go and study in the library...

020.jpg


So should we help grade freshman exams with Mr. Nanaki, like a helpful little RK47-chan?
Should we study in the library to get smarter, and maybe see library bird again?
Or should we return to RK47-chan's glorious, majestic, cave of an abode?
 

Lindblum

Augur
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
659
Change your grades Help grade the papers and dig up some dirt on the Doctor.
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,239
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
Go to the library it is much more of a :obviously: choice than the cave, fuck the lazyfuck teacher. Japanese/Pigeon Reich/New Tokyo Republic taxpayers pay him for shit to be done and he wants you to do his slave labor? Bloody moocher.
 

LundB

Mistakes were made.
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
4,160
In this update, RK47 starts to get an idea of what's going on, but it only increases her avian lust.

000.jpg

RK47.jpg
: Umm... I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not sure I've prepared enough for my tests. I'd like to go study, if it's all right.
Kazuaki.jpg
: Of course! Work hard, okay?

001.jpg


They've probably all decided on their colleges and careers already... Will I be that frantic this time next year, I wonder?

002.jpg

RK47.jpg
: Nageki!
nageki.jpg
: ...Miss RK47? Did you need something?
RK47.jpg
: Why are you over here? There are still plenty of seats open... You should sit down!
nageki.jpg
: I don't mind standing.

You look like you mind!

RK47.jpg
: You don't... like being near other birds? Is that it?

He nods.

nageki.jpg
: ...they'll just... they'll just ignore me, anyway. Whether or not I go near.

003.jpg


ED: To make this a longer update, I'm making this choice. I'm going with 'paranoid?', the more Codexian choice.

nageki.jpg
: ......

He falls silent. If there's something wrong, I'd like to help...

004.jpg

san.jpg
: Coo! (Okosan is always having fun!)
Ryouta.jpg
: Yup, yup.
sakuya.jpg
: What is this "fun"?

ED: This guy sure thinks he's :obviously:. He probably posts on the Codex. Sakuya=Skyway? The names are similar.

Kazuaki.jpg
: Once summer's over, time starts slipping by faster than ever. Try to stay focus.......ed....zzz
RK47.jpg
: Focus, sir! Focus!

005.jpg


006.jpg


RK47.jpg
: A student ID?

Whose is it? Someone from 2-2? ...not a name I recognize. Should go find their classroom? They might already have gone home, though... Well, any teacher will do, right?

Music: Returning an ID to a Responsible Authority Figure

007.jpg

008.jpg

shuu.jpg
: What is it this time?
RK47.jpg
: Umm... I found someone's student ID, and I thought maybe you'd know what to do with it.
shuu.jpg
: Isn't that something for the staffroom? Why bring it all the way here?
RK47.jpg
: It was closer! And they've started printing out tests in there already, so I'm not sure I can go in...
shuu.jpg
: There is no need for excuses, young lady. Leave it there and get out, please.
RK47.jpg
: Yes, sir.
shuu.jpg
: ...wait, miss RK47.
RK47.jpg
: ...?
shuu.jpg
: Where did you find this?
RK47.jpg
: Umm... it was on the staircase between the first and second floors. On the south side.
shuu.jpg
: I see. Hoho, it wouldn't do to have someone finding it and asking question... I am indebted to you, miss RK47.
RK47.jpg
: Asking questions...?
shuu.jpg
: Nothing you need to worry about. Please, do be careful on your way home.

What was that all about? He certainly is as strange as ever.

009.jpg


ED: Went for Music again, in the absence of other suggestions. It's probably best to put everything into one stat anyway in this game, but who knows? Apparently it can effect the endings.

RK47 leveled up! Charisma increased by 5!

010.jpg


I don't have anything to do, so I guess I'll go look around. A whole bunch of clubs have food stalls outside... They looked good when I was coming in, so maybe I'll go get something for lunch!

RK47.jpg
: Wait, isn't that...

011.jpg

RK47.jpg
: Doctor Iwamine..?

I thought he'd be cooped up in the infirmary doing something boring today! Maybe I should ask him to eat lunch with me?

ED: Here we have a choice to “Invite him to lunch” or “Avoid him like the plague”. At this point, it's pretty obvious what the Codex would choose, so I'll continue by inviting him.

I have to catch up to him first!

012.jpg


Aah... did I lose him? Where did he go? There aren't even any stands set up here, and there's nothing in the pamphlet about anything outside the main area... The only thing back here is-

RK47.jpg
: The incinerator...?

ED: :eek:

shuu.jpg
: Who goes there!?

Music: Behind-the-School Rape of the Sugar Plum Fairy

013.jpg

RK47.jpg
: D-d-d-d-d-d-doctor!

I was following him up until a minute ago, but now he's behind me!?

ED: A ninja doctor, indeed. Your initial analysis was correct, RK47-chan

shuu.jpg
: Oh, it's you. Stalking is a bad habit, young lady.
RK47.jpg
: No, I wasn't... I was just wondering what you were doing!
shuu.jpg
: Is it a crime to walk about one's own school?
RK47.jpg
: But there's nothing back here...
shuu.jpg
: There's the incinerator.
RK47.jpg
: Wh-why..?
shuu.jpg
: I was placed in charge of the science club's activities today. I just came back here to get rid of some things that were left over. Unneeded... things.
RK47.jpg
: Things...

My hunter-gatherer instincts are telling me to change the subject.

RK47.jpg
: O-oh, right! Sir, would you like to walk around together? I heard the haunted house is-
shuu.jpg
: No, thank you.

At least let me finish inviting you before you refuse!

shuu.jpg
: As I said, I am supervising the science club, so I do not have time for fraternization.
RK47.jpg
: Okay...

And so I returned to the cafe, thwarted by his obstinance and my own survival instinct.

ED: Don't let a little thing like your survival instinct get in the way of true love, RK47-chan!

[Meanwhile]

shuu.jpg
: RK47... If only I could tell how she plans her actions, I could deal with her fairly easily... how troubling.

ED: Yeah, good luck figuring out that she plans her actions based on a vote from the Codex.

014.jpg

015.jpg

shuu.jpg
: Yes?
RK47.jpg
: Where's Sakazaki (Yuuya)? Didn't he come yet?
shuu.jpg
: Mister Sakazaki won't be here today... Or tomorrow, or the day after... hohoho.
RK47.jpg
: Umm... what do you...?
shuu.jpg
: He's been absent for over a month, now.

I never realized!

RK47.jpg
: Did... something happen...!?
shuu.jpg
: Who knows? He never was a very good student. No one's surprised to see him playing hooky again. Hohohoho.
RK47.jpg
: ...you know something about it, don't you, sir?
shuu.jpg
: Me? Of course not! I know only what happens within this little room.

That somewhat alluring, slightly evil smile on his face tells me all I need to know. He had a hand in this.
ED: :what: Alluring yet slightly evil? You have very troubling taste in men, RK47-chan.

RK47.jpg
: You do know something!
shuu.jpg
: Sleeping pills.
RK47.jpg
: Huh...?
shuu.jpg
: What are you standing around for? You're his replacement, now. Count our supplies and mark down anything we're low on.

I don't think that counts as an explanation. Yuuya skipping school? I never thought of him as that type... And he hasn't even called me!

shuu.jpg
: Why did you decide to become an assistant here, miss RK47?
RK47.jpg
: Because, umm...

016.jpg


Last chance to back out, everybirdie. I'm getting genuinely worried for RK47-chan and myself. Do we really want to see where this path leads us? Do we REALLY want to make this confession?
 

Angthoron

Arcane
Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
13,056
Didn't get this far to back out now.

Edit: Although... Wouldn't it confuse the heck out of him if RK would break the mould yet again and be random? He may be the type to go for mysterious types. He's a doctor, must be a classy fella. Still, I'll stick with fessin' up.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
If years of bioware games have taught me anything it's that no choice could possibly result in a bad outcome!

True love, full steam ahead!
 

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