Assume the role of a warrior and complete quests in DA 2!

[KalosKagathos]

ESRB summary is up.

This is an action-adventure role-playing game in which players assume the role of a warrior who completes quests in a mythical land. Players use swords, bows and arrows, and magical spells (e.g., fireballs, energy beams) to defeat human-like enemies and fantasy creatures (e.g., giant spiders, demons, ogres, golems). Attacks are often accompanied by slashing sounds, large explosions, and cries of pain. Blood splatter effects occur when enemies are hit, and damage sometimes results in dismemberment or decapitation—blood stains and body parts occasionally appear in the environment. In one cutscene, a man's severed head is held up then tossed to the ground. During the course of the game, characters sometimes engage in sexual dialogue (e.g., "Why is it always about sex with you?" and "Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."). Players can also initiate brief cutscene sequences in which couples (male-female or same-sex) are shown kissing and embracing one another in a bedroom as the screen fades to black. In one cutscene, a woman kneels in front of a male character and appears to perform fellatio—there is no depiction of the sex act; the camera pans out to the rest of the room. The words "a*s," "bastard," and "sh*t" appear in dialogue.

Mature.

 

[Luzur]

oh god, just like a real RPG.

Attacks are often accompanied by slashing sounds, large explosions, and cries of pain.

oh god oh god oh godohgodohgod...UUUNNFFFF!!!

 

[Exmit]

oh god, just like a real RPG.

Attacks are often accompanied by slashing sounds, large explosions, and cries of pain.

oh god oh god oh godohgodohgod...UUUNNFFFF!!!

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

 

[Reject_666_6]

Re: Assume the role of a warrior and complete quests in DA 2

The words "a*s," "bastard," and "sh*t" appear in dialogue.

Mature.

 

[racofer]

there is no depiction of the sex act; the camera pans out to the rest of the room.

Mods fixed that in Origins so I'm sure they will manage to fix that in DA2 as well.

I guess I will be getting game after all.

 

[Angthoron]

"Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

 

[Jools]

SO... SO... SO.... I CAN ONLY BE A WARRIOR? LIARSSSS! FUCKING BIOWHORE LIARS! THEY TOLD ME THERE WERE CLASSES LIKE ROUGE AND MAEG!!!! FUKC OF OYU DRITY LIRAS!!!!

 

[KalosKagathos]

"Writing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

Improved.

 

[J_C]

"Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

I think this quote should be on the front of the box.

 

[Reject_666_6]

"Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

-Tyrax Lightning

Fixed.

 

[Angthoron]

"Writing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

Improved.

Meh, that's true. It's a an STD passed by fucking people's brains. Doesn't have a lethal effect though, all it does is cause instances of rage in the unaffected populations.

 

[hoverdog]

A*s.

 

[Angthoron]

This actually reminds me of something.

Leisure Suit Dragon VII-2.

 

[Jools]

"Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

That quote is true, tho. Try and let a chubby/pudgy/overweight girl ride you: the closest experience is being on a rollercoaster after having eaten 24 BigMac's wrapped in bacon and deepfried.

 

[Angthoron]

Eh, it's probably from a scene like that from Brokeback Mountain. Zhevran makes a return appearance and shows a bottle of lube, uttering this historical/hysterical one-liner.

 

[Mangoose]

oh god, just like a real RPG.

Attacks are often accompanied by slashing sounds, large explosions, and cries of pain.

oh god oh god oh godohgodohgod...UUUNNFFFF!!!

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

i loled

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

oh god, just like a real RPG.

Attacks are often accompanied by slashing sounds, large explosions, and cries of pain.

oh god oh god oh godohgodohgod...UUUNNFFFF!!!

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

I guess this game will give you the opportunity to improve your fencing skills, especially your thrust.

 

[Hobo Elf]

"Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

That quote is true, tho. Try and let a chubby/pudgy/overweight girl ride you: the closest experience is being on a rollercoaster after having eaten 24 BigMac's wrapped in bacon and deepfried.

Speaking from experience, eh?

 

[Crooked Bee]

Bastards!

 

[CrunchyHemorrhoids]

DA2 sucking confirmed.

 

[Jools]

"Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick."

Signature material right there.

That quote is true, tho. Try and let a chubby/pudgy/overweight girl ride you: the closest experience is being on a rollercoaster after having eaten 24 BigMac's wrapped in bacon and deepfried.

Speaking from experience, eh?

Actually, yes.

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

That quote is true, tho. Try and let a chubby/pudgy/overweight girl ride you: the closest experience is being on a rollercoaster after having eaten 24 BigMac's wrapped in bacon and deepfried.

Speaking from experience, eh?

Actually, yes.

24? No way, man. And a rollercoaster?


Waaaitaminute... Were you the overweight girl?

 

[Jools]

That quote is true, tho. Try and let a chubby/pudgy/overweight girl ride you: the closest experience is being on a rollercoaster after having eaten 24 BigMac's wrapped in bacon and deepfried.

Speaking from experience, eh?

Actually, yes.

24? No way, man. And a rollercoaster?


Waaaitaminute... Were you the overweight girl?

Nope. She wasn't actually that much overweight, just curvy. She just took the term "riding" a bit too literally, therefore every time she did the "downward" motion, she actually slammed down on me like there's no tomorrow.

 

[santino27]

there is no depiction of the sex act; the camera pans out to the rest of the room.

Mods fixed that in Origins so I'm sure they will manage to fix that in DA2 as well.

I guess I will be getting game after all.

Mods for DA:O did the same, if you're into badly modeled plastic characters clumsily having sex while shitty music blares.

Hmm. Guess that's not so different from RL porn.

 

[torpid]

That summary is hilarious. I'm sure Bioware fans are reading it to see if the game will properly satisfy their cravings.