Review Breathing radioactive lasers as Yahtzee reviews Skyrim

[Kraszu]

So I came to this one point where I was massacring the Legion forces at the Fort, and I ran into some children. I'd been ruthlessly slaughtering everyone else here, and my character was a psychotic murderer---a cannibal, who'd help someone out and then chainsaw them to pieces while they were thanking him. So it only made sense that I'd murder the kids too, right? But---I didn't feel right about it. I'd gotten some moral twinges before while RP'ing as this guy, but--not like this. I gulped and held down the button to use my Ripper on the child, but---he screamed, ran away, and I didn't chase him. I cringed at his cries for help and hated myself for trying this. I just left the Fort in disgust. This is one of the strongest experiences I've had in gaming.

This is so fucking retarded...

There aren't even chainsaws in Skyrim

You just lack the imagination to imagine them, having chainsaw would actually limit your ability to imagine chainsaw looking like you want it to look, less is more. And if you think that Skyrim isn't great then you just lack imagination to imagine that it is.

 

[Roguey]

Actually, if I recall correctly, he's a big fan of Torment

No.

 

[Peter]

Actually, if I recall correctly, he's a big fan of Torment

No.

Ah, ok. Thanks for clearing that up.

Didn't he use the boxart in one of his videos when talking about how RPGs in times of yore were much better than nowadays? If that is indeed the case, it sure is a huge "leap of logic" for us to assumed that he liked the game.

 

[thesoup]

He's pretty much the only reviewer I've seen that called out Bioshock on its bullshit.

He's probably the best in his comfort zone, i.e. shooters, adventure games, action games and stuff like that. I liked his MW3 vs BF3 video. The Uncharted 3 review was also pretty much an incline.

Too bad virtually no one gets butthurt over his videos anymore because he's been doing them for quite some time now.

 

[Destroid]

Doesn't he make adventure games? Anyway, I find his videos interesting enough to watch even if I don't give a fuck about 90% of the games. He's pretty funny live, I've seen him at a convention.

 

[Mozgoëbstvo]

He's quite good. Not always splitting my sides watching him, but he usually gives me a chuckle with insight...

But I wasn't looking forward to his review of Skyrim, I had a huch he would've liked it.

 

[LoPan]

Same here. The fellows all right but judging by his Twitcher review his brain can't handle much, so when a man who thinks Twitcher is overly complex plays Skyrim then I figured that would be right up his brain-way.

I expected Yahtzee to not dislike it but the review was just tedious, he didn't say anything at all. At best he said with emphasize how Skyrim had 'a lot of flaws'. Skyrim had a lot of nothing and every system was broken in ways I am amazed Bethesda was able to fuck up. The shit that is Skyrim is so overt and overbearing that I was turned off by how Yahtzee just brushed it by in the stead of what I hear tell are jokes.

He keeps calling himself a critic and then churns out this rubbish. I don't care so much that he likes it, but the bastard didn't even say why he liked it.

 

[Mozgoëbstvo]

He said as much, the fact it wasn't part of "shooter season 2011" was pretty much enough to grant his approval.

 

[nihil]

Yahtzee is funny, but egoraptor in Sequelitis is the real deal. He's got spot on analysis as well as humor. Only made two episodes so far, but I love them. Check them out if you haven't:

Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2

Mega Man Classic vs. Mega Man X

Second one is best, but watch them in order for full effect.

 

[Topher]

Yahtzee is funny, but egoraptor in Sequelitis is the real deal. He's got spot on analysis as well as humor. Only made two episodes so far, but I love them. Check them out if you haven't:

Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2

Mega Man Classic vs. Mega Man X

Second one is best, but watch them in order for full effect.

They're definitely worth a watch.

 

[sser]

I think he's a pretty good reviewer. He's not always funny but so what, I find his reviews to be pretty accurate a good lot of the time and I don't have to read the drivel that passes for "gaming journalism" to hear his point.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Yahtzee is funny, but egoraptor in Sequelitis is the real deal. He's got spot on analysis as well as humor. Only made two episodes so far, but I love them. Check them out if you haven't:

Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2

Wow, it was so awesome !

 

[Rivmusique]

I don't give a shit about those games, but I still enjoyed the videos.

Same here.

Subscribed to that channel, hopefully will see some more great content from him.

 

[asper]

The only good thing about Yahtzee is that he made a few actually pretty good point 'n click adventure games in Adventure Game Studio.

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/5days/

Well and sometimes he sees through the mass market fluff in his rants

 

[Akasen]

I laughed once or twice. I like Yahtzee. Give him twenty minutes worth of time and he could be the Jon Stewart of video games - not terribly insightful due to the comedic spin but still more so than 90% of "serious" journalists.

He doesn't like RPGs very much and loves shooters, so he won't win any awards at the Codex, but at least he's honest about his preferences.

He comes from a completely different gaming pedigree than most of the Codex - he's never had any interest in crpgs, and has been very clear about that. He is from the other side of the gaming market that got screwed by the merging of console and PC gaming into one big clusterfuck. Think of it like looking into a parallel universe, except where the Codex would ordinarily lie, there are lots of angry fans of PS1/2 era platformers, Silent Hill games and Mario speed-runners. They didn't get quite as screwed as we did, but given that I sure as fuck haven't seen any realy successor to Silent Hill 2 yet, and platforming seems to be as dead as isometric turn-based combat, I have some sympathy for their situation.

So basically you've got a guy who hates the modern gaming scene as much as we do, for some of the same reasons as we do, but doesn't share any of our taste in games and probably isn't a very good source of information about whether a crpg is going to be any good.

I feel this to be an accurate summary of Yahtzee in comparison to the Codex user base.

On this review itself, I can't tell what his exact opinion on Skyrim is. With Oblivion, he found it rather lacking if not terrible. Skyrim? I can't even tell if he likes it a little or hates it.

 

[Metro]

Yahtzee is funny, but egoraptor in Sequelitis is the real deal. He's got spot on analysis as well as humor. Only made two episodes so far, but I love them. Check them out if you haven't:

Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2

Mega Man Classic vs. Mega Man X

Second one is best, but watch them in order for full effect.

Is it meant to be sarcastic? I read the first line claiming Castlevania 2 was worse than the first and closed the browser. Castlevania 2 was the better game. Was this dude even alive when these games came out?

 

[Akasen]

Yahtzee is funny, but egoraptor in Sequelitis is the real deal. He's got spot on analysis as well as humor. Only made two episodes so far, but I love them. Check them out if you haven't:

Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2

Mega Man Classic vs. Mega Man X

Second one is best, but watch them in order for full effect.

Is it meant to be sarcastic? I read the first line claiming Castlevania 2 was worse than the first and closed the browser. Castlevania 2 was the better game. Was this dude even alive when these games came out?

He most likely was alive when these games came out. The guy goes into detail of what was real good in the second game and what wasn't and then analyzed what they did wrong with Castlevania 2.

For background, this is the guy who did the Awesome series of flash videos. Notably the Metal Gear Awesome flash.

 

[nihil]

Yahtzee is funny, but egoraptor in Sequelitis is the real deal. He's got spot on analysis as well as humor. Only made two episodes so far, but I love them. Check them out if you haven't:

Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2

Mega Man Classic vs. Mega Man X

Second one is best, but watch them in order for full effect.

Is it meant to be sarcastic? I read the first line claiming Castlevania 2 was worse than the first and closed the browser. Castlevania 2 was the better game. Was this dude even alive when these games came out?

He most likely was alive when these games came out. The guy goes into detail of what was real good in the second game and what wasn't and then analyzed what they did wrong with Castlevania 2.

Yeah. It's not just a rant like the one by The Angry Video Game Nerd. It's good analysis, whether you agree or not.

EDIT: And why would it matter if he was born or not when the games were released?

 

[Nattvardsvin]

What a neurotic little piece of shit this guy is.
And I don't like his shitty adventure games either.

 

[LoPan]

On this review itself, I can't tell what his exact opinion on Skyrim is. With Oblivion, he found it rather lacking if not terrible. Skyrim? I can't even tell if he likes it a little or hates it.

It is possible he is not allowed to dislike it, or perhaps he doesn't dare to the way the Escapist has been going on about it. I don't think Yhatzee takes much heed to that sort of thing but you can't help but wonder that perhaps he did not feel strongly about the game or cared at all for it, not even to hate it, and took to dodging the subject; the whole thing may well be a feint, and seeing how the Escapist has been hyping and praising the new god-born product of Howard they could be on the payroll. The Escapist has a long and poor reputation of paying its contributors so there are grounds for them needing the money, and goodness knows Bethesda has a reputation for being creepy scumbags.

 

[Akasen]

On this review itself, I can't tell what his exact opinion on Skyrim is. With Oblivion, he found it rather lacking if not terrible. Skyrim? I can't even tell if he likes it a little or hates it.

It is possible he is not allowed to dislike it, or perhaps he doesn't dare to the way the Escapist has been going on about it. I don't think Yhatzee takes much heed to that sort of thing but you can't help but wonder that perhaps he did not feel strongly about the game or cared at all for it, not even to hate it, and took to dodging the subject; the whole thing may well be a feint, and seeing how the Escapist has been hyping and praising the new god-born product of Howard they could be on the payroll. The Escapist has a long and poor reputation of paying its contributors so there are grounds for them needing the money, and goodness knows Bethesda has a reputation for being creepy scumbags.

Sounds like a reason not to go full out on a game. Even I can understand.

Criticize the game but don't criticize it to the point they lose customers or else you may be getting paid by the end of the week.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Is it meant to be sarcastic? I read the first line claiming Castlevania 2 was worse than the first and closed the browser. Castlevania 2 was the better game. Was this dude even alive when these games came out?

Keep the butthurt in check and watch the whole thing, he provides a good justification for that.

On another note, his reaction to Zero was pretty much like mine.

Zero: One day you'll be as strong as I am, X.

Me: :shock:

Of course, when you do meet Vile again the trick to beating him is using the homing missiles he has no chance to dodge even with his erratic jumping pattern, but that's another matter.