Completed (DoW 3 v 3) Dark Diversity vs Chaotic Good

[RK47]

THE DARK BROTHERHOOD OF DIVERSITY

Bert (Orks), Sov (Dark Eldar) & Smugparrot (Imperial Guards)

VS

THE CHAOTIC GOOD

Captain Larpius (Tau), Phage (Tau) & Renegen (Chaos)

WHICH IS BETTER AND WHY? DISCUSS!

IN GAME CONFERENCE COMMENCES!

2 MIN 24 SECS FIRST CONTACT

Renegens Cultists spots an ork. He duly informed his comrades.

No fucks were given. His cultists head turned to tomato ketchup and he fled. First kill by Bert's Orks!

Phage's stealth team discovers the meaning of being detected and bled to death. Again, bert with his moiderous brute.

03m 27s

Captain Larpius ignores centre arena and go for the sides, he met Sov's eldar. There's no way he can lose this...

Uh, what?

Mandrake is infiltrated. Gibbing two Fire Warrior squads. There's no early detectors for Tau...only vespids.

04m 04s

Renegen gives Bert's bully a hug and decides they're not made for each other.

Cultists were sacrificed to buy time for Chaos Lord to protect his virginity.

Dark Diversity Team (Red) takes central points, making good grounds. Can the Chaotic Good prevail?

04m 34s

Captain Larpius gets his detectors. His virginity is safe.

Renegen hates orks. That much is clear.

Captain Larpius delivers a rousing speech, inspiring his comrades to fight on for the Chaotic Good.

05m 16s

THE IMPERIAL GUARDSMAN ATTACKS SMUGLY! CULTISTS RETREATS IN TERROR!

Almost at once, Bert's Boyz pounces on the Chaos Marine's left.

Is this the end for RENEGEN?!

 

[Jaedar]

Lololol stealthed mandrakes.

 

[Ulminati]

Man, seeing how bad everyone is (though not nearly as bad as me) almost makes me want to play DoW with you fags.

Shame I only got DoW + WA. No Derp Crusade or Shitstorm for meh.

Lemme know when you're ready to play DoW2 instead

 

[RK47]

...fuck Down Syndrome 2 go torrent SS

 

[Ulminati]

DoW 2 has no animu faggotry species. Hence it is a better game.

 

[Darth Roxor]

DoW 2 has no animu faggotry species. Hence it is a better game.

You mean other than Eldar?

 

[Ulminati]

Darth Roxor
While eldar are still faggy, at least they're not animu.

 

[Renegen]

Man, seeing how bad everyone is (though not nearly as bad as me) almost makes me want to play DoW with you fags.

Shame I only got DoW + WA. No Derp Crusade or Shitstorm for meh.

Lemme know when you're ready to play DoW2 instead

Bless us with your wisdom, what seems to be our shortcomings? is it our lack of attention to detail?

edit: Also, none of us either have Soulstorm

 

[Ulminati]

edit: Also, none of us either have Soulstorm

The Derp Elder side sez otherwise

 

[RK47]

Part 2

Captain Larpius has a plan.

Because distracting the only enemy force that doesn't attack Renegen will save Renegen.

Phage speaks the truth. For whatever inscrutable reasons. the orks and guardsmen broke off engagement like a dude who stood up their bride on wedding day. Renegen's rape will be postponed.

Still. Things are looking bad on Renegen front, they capped his points and looking forward for moar.

The Patient Hunter....waits.

06m 44s

Smug Guardsmen attacks Renegen!

Phage's Fire Warriors is there. This isn't even a fair fight!

Raptors assist in the food processing as the guardsmen flee to avoid being turned into smugtato soup.

07m 01s

Dark Eldar Raiders spotted. Captain Larpius still lacks Anti-Vehicle weaponry!

Elsewhere..

Phage counterattacks the Dark Diversity's center, bertz's Waaaagh fortifications is under attack, but several Guardsmen are still there to hold the tide.

Bertz respond by sending in his boyz to Renegen's base. This is dangerous...

However, the Chaos defiler stops anything untoward from happening. A nice save!

07m 21s

Sovard raider advance. The Tau won't be able to hold for long without anti vehicle weaponry.

The defilers fired its artillery and smashes nearby infantries, the Fire Warriors provide the killing blows. Looks like the Chaotic Good are having a comeback.

Both Bertz Boyz and Smug Guardsmen fell back.

Phage finishes the demolition work at the center.

Meanwhile, Sov's Raider did its job in scaring away Larpius Fire Warriors. But he lost all his infantry in the process. Both sides will have to rebuild.

By the end of the 8th minute, Bertz & Smug were pushed back by Phage & Renegen. Renegen base having survived an early scare and they've retaken the center. Meanwhile, Captain Larpius rebuilds his forces to better counter the Dark Eldar vehicle.

 

[Renegen]

Hey this shit ain't complete, there's the grand finale left! It was a chaotic but fun match in the end, 3 on 3 is nice.

 

[RK47]

I know. Ill get back on it tonite.

 

[Teepo]

DoW 2 has no animu faggotry species. Hence it is a better game.

You mean other than Eldar?

They're space elves. Of course they're faggy. That doesn't excuse weaboo faggotry from the Tau.

 

[RK47]

Darth Roxor
While eldar are still faggy, at least they're not animu.

 

[RK47]

This is what the Taus & most codexians were fighting for:

9m 19s

Fighting broke out over the central plains between Phage's Fire Warriors and Bertz Boyz.

Renegen decides to join in the fun. But there seem to be a morale loss for the Chaotic Good alliance. This could be the Dark Eldar global ability (Or maybe I'm just pulling shit out of my ass)

The numerical superiority is too much for Bert to overcome. Will his Big Mek escape from the slaughter?

Judging from the sliver of health and Fire Warrior range...this is an unlikely possibility. But here comes Smug's Guardsmen from the north!

I really doubt the Guardsmen can do much here, but just slightly behind is a Dark Eldar Raider. Team Dark Diversity is really rolling out the T2 vehicles.

Phage's Fire Warriors got slaughtered by the vehicle fire - bert boyz advances under the cover.

There's always that extra fire warrior somewhere behind... It's proving costly for the orks. They're really walking into a meatgrinder. But the situation is getting desperate for Renegen & Phage. They have no anti vehicles weaponry.

Where's anus?

Looks like everyone forgot about him...

Renegen's twin defilers held the line, he requests Larpius assistance in the center. But Anus has a choice here...he can advance into Sov's undefended base...

Or save his allies from the horde of guardsmen onslaught.

What will he do?

 

[RK47]

Renegen twin defilers hold the line.

Larpius' Tau builds a Skyray.

Things are starting to heat up when a defiler gives way. Captain Larpius gives the signal.

Can the Dark Eldar survive this assault?

What is that...thing? Talos?

Whatever it is, it blew up the Broadside Battlesuit, leaving the advancing Tau without anti-vehicle weapons. Sensing the massive disadvantage and incoming rape, Larpius cautiously retreats.

At the center...

Smugparrot's guardsmen rushes towards the Dark Eldar base, sensing an opportunity for a joint attack.

It seems bert is to hold the center, while Smug & Sovard will try to catch the fleeing Tau on the run.

A bold plan. One that might have succeeded if they had not advanced from the same direction.

Bertz boyz couldn't hold the center forever. Renegen's tank is on the field to deliver some hurt.

Larpius' Skyray explodes, signalling the end of their vehicle presence.

The guardsmen are still a stride or two behind the Dark Eldars..things are looking grim for the defenders.

Until a second Skyray arrived, delivering enough fire power to push the attackers back.

A mistargeted airstrike from Smug's command squad send the Diversity Assault team into chaos and panic.

With the Dark Eldar vehicles destroyed, the guardsmen knew better. They retreated.

Bertz boyz, too...abandoned the center.

Things look bad for the Dark Diversity.

 

[anus_pounder]

 

[RK47]

Heya folks! We're back on the grimdark universe of W40K! And it looks like things are heating up!

Oh, gawsh, Mickey. Those Imperial Guardsmen are about to take a pounding uh hyuk, uh hyuk!

Oh, boy. A missile barrage!

They don't look so smug now, don't they? Uh hyuk!

*giggles* Goofy, let's be fair commentator! But one does have to wonder, what can Dark Diversity do to reverse the flow of the game?

Well, duh...I really think they gotsa retreat first...their butts are getting pounded...with triple Skyrays. Dem barrages be nasty. Yup yup.

Oh noes! Things are not going so well for Bertz boys, too. A sorceror's doombolts just melted the orks faces.

Gosh-dayum! Mickey, the hurting never stops. At this rate, the Chaotic Good will steamroll...

Not if Smug artillery have something say about it!

Wowza!

Looks like Phage's fire warriors are making a go for it...

Dem stealth teams are pitching in too.

Wow, that Basilisk glory is shortlived.

Just like Dicksmoker's love story. Uh hyuk! Uh hyuk!

Now that's just mean, Goofy!

I can't help it. There's a woods of cats out there, and I gosh-damn well gunna lick it.

It looks like kay-osh is going to make a chokehold at the center. I really wonder if the fight is truly over. Oh wow, Mickey! LOOK LOOK!

What's up, felllas! Oh A BANEBLADE!

Butts will be hurt! This is it! Dum dum dum dum dum dum~

Are you humming the mission impossible tune, Goofy? This doesn't seem impossible at all.

Uh hyuk- Yup. It sure is. A baneblade. Gosh~ I wonder if the Tau built anti vehicles.

 

[anus_pounder]

But why Mickey and Goofy. I rather liked your LARPs.

 

[RK47]

For the Greater Goof! Uh Hyuk Hyuk~

 

[Azira]

 

[RK47]

5 mins prior to the butt-hurting...

 

[RK47]

Renegen, unaware of the incoming tonnes of pain, makes a bold statement.

Who can deny their optimism? They've pushed back the enemies, beating them punch by punch. Surely their line will hold. Victory is only a matter of time to the Chaotic Good...

Even now, Captain Larpius armada of crack Fire Warriors, Majestic Barracudas and Banal Skyways are assembled and ready to strike at the Dark Eldar's HQ...

Music: Dum dum dum dum dum

IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME! ATTACK!

What the f-

Phage's Hammerheads are strong, but Tau vehicles are not famous for their resilience. Can the rock be beaten by scissors?

The Skyrays opened fire to little effect.

One vanished in a ball of fire.

Skyray-02 MISSILE BARRAGE NOW!

Oh shi-

HOLD FAST BOYS! FOREST OF PUSSIES TO BE LICKED! ONWARDS!

Karskins and guardsmen flew to the air, yet the Baneblade cannon shell slams hard on the Skyray's armor, setting it to near critical state. The attack is in full force, there's no stopping the Baneblade.

Bertz boyz engage Chaos defenses, forcing Renegen to make a choice.

The surviving Phage's Hammerhead and fire warriors retreat in the face of impossible odds. Only the Tau Commander remain to offer covering fire as remnants of his army retreat.

He disappears in a rain of rockets, called down by Smug's Command Squad.

Take that, Xeno scums!

Dark Eldar forces pours forth from their base to add further momentum. Dark Diversity is betting it all on the Baneblade.

 

[Saark]

With Tau on the other Team, the Baneblade shouldn't be that big a problem if his stealth commanders come into range for some EMP 'nades. Still, awesome to see one in action, been quite a while since I saw one. Wondering why that Basilisk was so close up front instead of using the superior range to screw their Infantry. Still hoping to see a Squiggoth rampaging through the fire-warriors :>

 

[Renegen]

I wonder why Bert, Sov or smugparrot aren't bumping this fine LP.

BTW, we have quite regular Soulstorm matches in the Codex Diversity Squad. If a lot are present, you get these epic 3 on 3 matches and a chance at Codex history. So come one and all. (you don't need to actually own the game....)